Penn St. +2 My hard-hitting analysis is that I read on the internet that Notre Dame doesn't quite have the depth of the other semifinalists. On a short turnaround, that could matter? Also, I'm somehow rooting for them so I think they'll lose.
Ohio St. -6 They seem good now.
Nortre Dame -2 v Penn St.: nortre
Ohio St. -6 v Texas: Ohio State is good
For some reason I'm on the left, you're on the right. Green means win, maroon means loss. Way to nail those single digits, sis.
Once again, conclusive proof that we are the two smartest people in the world. You had the worst confidence point performance of all time. Great.
Pick Them Classic (Games) will be decided today. If any of the following teams win over the next few days, I will win New Pick Them (Confidence).
They're going to write "Up 228-64 And Lost" on my tombstone.
Penn St. v Boise St. +11: wishful thinking
Texas -13.5 v Arizona St.: Future Conference Mates Collide
Ohio St. -2.5 v Oregon: It's hard to win a rematch. Also it's idiotic that this is a rematch of a conference game.
Notre Dame v Georgia -2: I'm getting a sinking feeling about the future propaganda value of Georgia winning a national title in the first college football playoff with a backup quarterback.
More Surprising Probably:
1869 - ~2005: Boise St.
~2006 - Present: Arizona St.
------------------------------------------------
Penn St. -11
Arizona St. +13.5
Ohio St. -2.5
Notre Dame +2
Just submit whenever.
Penn St. -11 v Boise St.
Texas -13.5 v Arizona St.
Ohio St. -2.5 v Oregon
Notre Dame v Georgia -2
CRISIS GAMES:
date name: you v me
SMU +8.5 v Penn State: The 1982 Bowl
Clemson v Texas -11.5: man I'm glad there's a playoff, couldn't wait to watch Clemson and Texas play some more
Tennessee v An Ohio State University -7: Obviously Ohio State isn't my preference to win the playoffs, but it would be pretty funny about Ryan Day if they did.
Yes! It could have been a lot of places.
Indiana +7
SMU +8.5
Clemson +11.5
Ohio St. -7
Ok, playoff 1st round picks against the spread. Please submit Thursday at 5 pm. go get em, tiger.
Indiana v Notre Dame -7
SMU v Penn State -8.5
Clemson v Texas -11.5
Tennessee v Ohio State -7
Bowl picks? In THIS economy?
IS4S Salute to Veterans Bowl: (34) South Alabama vs. Western Michigan: Jaguars baby! Remember when they scored 87 points? Also, why did they name a bowl after a noted terrorist group?
Scooter’s Coffee Frisco Bowl: Memphis vs. (8) West Virginia: two disappointed teams
Boca Raton Bowl: Western Kentucky vs. (29) James Madison: James Madison's reputation as president is, I think, highly inflated due to his (deservedly) well-regarded career prior to the presidency. Poorly handling a war that the USA didn't need to be in, appointing generally incompetent cabinet officials (try to name the most effective--you can't!), and ideological inconsistency in office are all reflections of the fact that he was simply not executive material. Imagine if Great Britain had decided to take the War of 1812 more seriously, or even if Napoleon had waited a year to try to retake power, and we're writing this Bowl Pick Them of Cricket or something.
Art of Sport LA Bowl Hosted By Gronk: California vs. (3) UNLV: You think I can take Cal football seriously? You can take that slop to the trough. Also: not even the dumbest bowl name.
R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl: (18) Georgia Southern vs. Sam Houston: R+L stands for Ralph and Lauren, since they like to wear Ralph Lauren in New Orleans, the ones with the giant horse logo or the Polo Bear in a trench coat.
StaffDNA Cure Bowl: Ohio vs. (11) Jacksonville State: pretty quotidian matchup imo. "DNA staff" is my nickname for Tha Captain's penis, as in, "Hey buddy, let me see that DNA staff."
Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl: Tulane vs. (16) Florida: About to have a streak of "huh, so that's where that ended up in my confidence rankings" picks.
Myrtle Beach Bowl: Coastal Carolina vs. (4) UTSA: Oh, to be in Conway, South Carolina, in late December.
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: (2) Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State: Turner "The Burner," remember him. Anyway, this classic contest is "all about the tater".
Hawai’i Bowl: (6) South Florida vs. San Jose State: Wasn't South Florida supposed to be good this year? If my life depended on naming a majority of conference tie-ins for bowl games this year, I would be a dead man.
GameAbove Sports Bowl: (31) Pittsburgh vs. Toledo: When I see "GameAbove" my brain does the prayer hands emoji.
Rate Bowl: Rutgers vs. (24) Kansas State: It's not the weirdest thing about the conference anymore, but it's weird that Rutgers is in the Big 10. There was only like a five-year period when that could have realistically happened, and it did, and we're stuck with it. Anyway: Rate Bowl? Is that the whole name?
68 Ventures Bowl: Arkansas State vs. (17) Bowling Green: One fewer than the venture we're all thinking of. [The humor is getting very blue in this Pick Them, not appropriate].
Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl: (22) Oklahoma vs. Navy: Navy is not a good football team??? This should be higher, confidence-wise.
Birmingham Bowl: Georgia Tech vs. (10) Vanderbilt: Fitting that Birmingham, the Athens of America, should host what has to be the highest average USN&WR academic ranking of any bowl this season.
AutoZone Liberty Bowl: Texas Tech vs. (14) Arkansas: Former Conference Mates Collide
DIRECTV Holiday Bowl: Syracuse vs. (13) Washington State: Wasn't there a moment when we all thought Washington State was good? I have not updated my priors about this season (or anything else in college football since 2006).
SRS Distribution Las Vegas Bowl: (21) Texas A&M vs. USC: All I am using as evidence for this pick is that Lincoln Riley had to tell the media that he was not a candidate for the Central Florida job.
Wasabi Fenway Bowl: (26) North Carolina vs. UConn: The fellas are going to send Mack out with a win. You could probably convince me this was a conference game.
Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl: Boston College vs. (5) Nebraska: bad boy mowers pinstripe bowl. Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl. BAD BOY MOWERS PINSTRIPE BOWL BAD BOY MOWERS PINSTRIPE BOWL BAD BOY MOWERS PINSTRIPE BOWL
Isleta New Mexico Bowl: (12) TCU vs. Louisiana: ULL is better than people think, is that right? The line looks wrong on this one, but not wrong enough to actually pick Louisiana's finest institution of higher learning.
Pop-Tarts Bowl: Iowa State vs. (32) Miami: I hope they do exactly the same stuff that they did for last year's let's watch the pop-tarts bowl, and act like it's the first time--eating pieces of the mascot, going into the toaster with the dreams sign, the whole bit. Act like it's the first time it happened, and ignore the existence of last year's bowl game.
Snoop Dogg Arizona Bowl presented by Gin & Juice by Dre and Snoop: Miami (OH) vs. (1) Colorado State: what in tarnation
Go Bowling Military Bowl: East Carolina vs. (19) NC State: This is the Scary Movie version of the Indiana-Notre Dame game. Remember when the dumbest bowl names were things like Meineke Car Care?
Valero Alamo Bowl: BYU vs. (15) Colorado: BYU is pretty good, but Deion loves to be on TV and will get going for a bowl game. He has done way better at Colorado so far than I expected, although a spectacular flameout still seems plausible.
Radiance Technologies Independence Bowl: Marshall vs. (28) Army: "Army is good" is what I originally wrote, but I worry that reads like I had a stroke or am a disabled child playing with toys.
Transperfect Music City Bowl: Iowa vs. (9) Missouri: Trans Prefect is one of the reasons that idiots think the Western Roman Empire fell. Say "Music City is Iowa Mizzou" in a Fatboy Slim voice--you'll be glad you did.
Reliaquest Bowl: (35) Alabama vs. Michigan: lol, lmao
Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl: (23) Louisville vs. Washington: I guess this ended up here because Louisville mostly only lost to really good teams. Going back and doing the forensics on my confidence rankings/picks has been fun.
Cheez-It Citrus Bowl: (33) South Carolina vs. Illinois: Do they make Citrus Cheez-Its? They should.
Kinder’s Texas Bowl: Baylor vs. (20) LSU: Nothing could be Kinder's than to question people's genders in the Booooowwwwlll Game.
Taxpayer Gator Bowl: Duke vs. (30) Old Mist: "Gator," "Old Mist," and "Duke" are the three price points of whiskey that I drink. Filled with regret for this choice, as it seems like the kind of game that Lane might totally check out of, but it's too complicated to change my confidence rankings.
Servpro First Responder Bowl: North Texas vs. (27) Texas State: Definitely feels like a conference game. North Texas is playing Texas State in Dallas.
Duke’s Mayo Bowl: (7) Minnesota vs. Virginia Tech: A bit of the shine is off PJ, but he's still a good coach.
Bahamas Bowl: Buffalo vs. (25) Liberty: the libs are at it again
For some reason, we're making this even more involved. There are three ongoing contests of wit and strength:
-Straight up homie Bowl Pick Them
-Confidence Rankings, with a higher number indicating more confidence
-Straight up homie Playoff Pick Them
Picks for the Bowl Pick Them/Confidence Ranking and the first round of the Playoff Pick Them are due by Friday, December 13, at 5:00 pm.
****
IS4S Salute to Veterans Bowl: South Alabama vs. Western Michigan
Scooter’s Coffee Frisco Bowl: Memphis vs. West Virginia
Boca Raton Bowl: Western Kentucky vs. James Madison
Art of Sport LA Bowl Hosted By Gronk: California vs. UNLV
R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl: Georgia Southern vs. Sam Houston
StaffDNA Cure Bowl: Ohio vs. Jacksonville State
Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl: Tulane vs. Florida
Myrtle Beach Bowl: Coastal Carolina vs. UTSA
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State
Hawai’i Bowl: South Florida vs. San Jose State
GameAbove Sports Bowl: Pittsburgh vs. Toledo
Rate Bowl: Rutgers vs. Kansas State
68 Ventures Bowl: Arkansas State vs. Bowling Green
Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl: Oklahoma vs. Navy
Birmingham Bowl: Georgia Tech vs. Vanderbilt
AutoZone Liberty Bowl: Texas Tech vs. Arkansas
DIRECTV Holiday Bowl: Syracuse vs. Washington State
SRS Distribution Las Vegas Bowl: Texas A&M vs. USC
Wasabi Fenway Bowl: North Carolina vs. UConn
Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl: Boston College vs. Nebraska
Isleta New Mexico Bowl: TCU vs. Louisiana
Pop-Tarts Bowl: Iowa State vs. Miami
Snoop Dogg Arizona Bowl presented by Gin & Juice by Dre and Snoop: Miami (OH) vs. Colorado State
Go Bowling Military Bowl: East Carolina vs. NC State
Valero Alamo Bowl: BYU vs. Colorado
Radiance Technologies Independence Bowl: Marshall vs. Army
Transperfect Music City Bowl: Iowa vs. Missouri
Reliaquest Bowl: Alabama vs. Michigan
Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl: Louisville vs. Washington
Cheez-It Citrus Bowl: South Carolina vs. Illinois
Kinder’s Texas Bowl: Baylor vs. LSU
Taxpayer Gator Bowl: Duke vs. Ole Miss
Servpro First Responder Bowl: North Texas vs. Texas State
Duke’s Mayo Bowl: Minnesota vs. Virginia Tech
Bahamas Bowl: Buffalo vs. Liberty
****
Playoff Round One
#10 Indiana @ #7 Notre Dame
#11 SMU @ #6 Penn State
#12 Clemson @ #5 Texas
#9 Tennessee @ #8 Ohio State
Mississippi St. @ Old Mist -26: more like Lame Kiffin
Georgia Tech +19.5 @ Georgia: If we were doing the Nice Bookie this season, I'd bet on this, foolishly.
Tennessee -10.5 @ Vanderbilt: Is Tennessee any good?
South Carolina +2.5 @ Clemson: cocks baby
Louisville @ Kentucky +4: okay
Auburn @ Alabama -11.5: no
Arkansas @ Mizzou -3: Pittman quietly doing one of the better coaching job of the season
Florida -14.5 @ Florida St.: The SEC-ACC match up with marginal playoff implications is not this one.
Oklahoma @ LSU -6: Classic SEC Rivalry
Texas @ TAMU +5: This is the funniest outcome, although Texas winning by 35 would also be funny.
Mississippi St. +26
Georgia Tech +19.5
Vanderbilt +10.5
Clemson -2.5
Louisville -4
Auburn +11.5
Arkansas +3
Florida St. +14.5
Oklahoma +6
TAMU +5
Stick a fork in the pick off.
Thanksgiving: 3-6 (54-49)
The Day Before Thanksgiving (Have to Work): 2-7 (45-58)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mississippi St. @ Old Mist -26
Georgia Tech @ Georgia -19.5
Tennessee -10.5 @ Vanderbilt
South Carolina @ Clemson -2.5
Louisville -4 @ Kentucky
Auburn @ Alabama -11.5
Arkansas @ Mizzou -3
Florida -14.5 @ Florida St.
Oklahoma @ LSU -6
Texas -5 @ TAMU
Looking back at this now, several hours after originally writing it down, I'm filled with dread and disgust.
Old Mist -10.5 Can't remember who they play and don't care.
Georgia -42 Points, huh.
Tennessee -42 Huh... Points.
Texas -20.5 It would be funny if Arch Manning had a quarter-zip jersey. On account of his tv uncles.
Arkansas -23 MAD Magazine: Louisiana Blech!
Mizzou -8 Wrong!
TAMU -2.5 Right!
Alabama -14 Super Right!
LSU -8 We all know how hard it is to play in Death Valley at night.
Old Mist -10.5 @ Florida: Florida winning this would be pretty funny in a number of ways.
Texas -13.5 at Arkansas: I guess Texas is good again. Probably overreacting.
LAMO +24 at Auburn: 50-50 game at best.
LSU -4 at Florida: Florida is getting better but is still not good.
Missouri +13.5 at South Carolina: The Cocks got this one, but that's too many points.
Tennessee +10 at Georgia: no
New Mexico State at Texas A&M +39: GAME OF THE WEEK BABY, LET'S GO BIG POINTS BIG MONEY
Florida +21.5 @ Texas: that's a lot of points
Georgia -2.5 @ Old Mist: This feels like a classic "Kiffin offense gets shuts down and loses by 24" game.
South Carolina -3.5 @ Vanderbilt: This is maybe the game I care the most about this week.
Mississippi St. +24 @ Tennessee: that's a lot of points
Alabama -3 @ LSU: I probably won't watch this game, going to an event, and I'm glad.
Oklahoma @ Mizzou +2.5: another historic SEC match up
charlie trump: 3-3 (46-36)
captain harris: 2-4 (36-46)
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Florida @ Texas -21.5
Georgia -2.5 @ Old Mist
South Carolina -3.5 @ Vanderbilt
Mississippi St. @ Tennessee - 24
Alabama -3 @ LSU
Oklahoma -2.5 @ Mizzou
Cold Mist -7 @ Arkauldron
Vampirebilt @ Auboorn -6
Horrorida +17 vs Gored-ya
UMask @ Grislyssippi St. -18.5
VOODU -2.5 @ Scary Crowalina
Corpsetucky @ Terrorssee -16.5
SPOOKY
Arkansas +7 They're playing pigs, but Old Mist is looking for a 'goat... a scapegoat for why they have lost two games. Maybe they will "Blame" Kiffin.
Vanderbilt +6 Easy pick.
Georgia -17 Probably wrong. But possibly right. We'll know this time next week!
Mississippi St. -18.5 Now that they've been effectively eliminated from playoff contention, the pressure is off and the 'dogs can just cook.
TAMU -2.5 Texas A&M is good now.
Tennessee -16.5 Kentucky lost to Auburn for Pete's sake.
Green Day: 3-3 (43-34)
Third Day: 3-3 (34-43)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Old Mist -7 @ Arkansas
Vanderbilt @ Auburn -6
Florida vs Georgia -17
UMass @ Mississippi St. -18.5
TAMU -2.5 @ South Carolina
Kentucky @ Tennessee -16.5
Oklahoma +20.5 @ Old Mist: a human number
dinosaurs
Oklahoma +20.5
Mississippi St. +7
Alabama -13.5
Vanderbilt +18.5
LSU +2.5
Kentucky -2.5
Auburn @ Mizzou -4.5: Officially done
South Carolina @ Oklahoma -3: You can throw out the records when these two historic rivals meet on the gridiron.
Alabama - 3 @ Tennessee: two teams with lots of talent but also Problems
TAMU @ Mississippi St. +15.5: I was picking too many favorites.
LSU -2.5 @ Arkansas: Friend, do not fool yourself into thinking Arkansas is even decent.
Ball St. @ Vanderbilt -26: if this was about me, it would be a Balding State
Georgia @ Texas -3.5: It would be cool if the SEC brought in Texas and Oklahoma exclusively for ad dollars, but then the sports media market collapsed and Texas won 8 of the next ten conference titles.
Kentucky -1 @ Florida: whatever
Auburn +4.5
Oklahoma -3
Alabama -3
TAMU -15.5
Arkansas +2.5
Ball St. +26
Georgia +3.5
Florida +1
