lmao
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Friday, July 31, 2026
Wednesday, January 08, 2014
2013 Movie Year in Review
Here is a list of the films which were both released and seen by me in 2013, in rough order of how much I would recommend them:
STRONGLY RECOMMENDED:
Gravity - In a year without a really great movie (there were at least five movies in 2012 that would have been my favorite movie of 2013 (though I haven't seen the movies which look best of 2013, including: 12 Years a Slave, Inside Llewyn Davis, and Her)), this was my favorite. It's not a good movie in the sense that there's a lot of great acting and characterization and such. But seeing this in the theater was definitely worth the money - it's beautiful to look at, and I was immediately immersed in the story. There are a couple of moments when the movie lost that, just a little; the imagery is a little heavy-handed at times, and the film is too sentimental. But then again, I am dark-hearted and cynical. And sometimes even over-the-top sentimentality is okay, in an over-the-top movie.
Pacific Rim - Look, this is a movie about robots fighting monsters. If you don't like that sort of thing, move on. I love it, this movie was awesome, and if they want to make more Robot Jox meets Godzilla movies, I will pay to go see it.
Much Ado About Nothing - IMDB says this is 2012, but Wikipedia says 2013 for its theatrical release, and I am going with that. Except for the Leo Romeo and Juliet, I always enjoy these "Shakespeare in modern day" adaptations. The most recent I'd previously seen, Coriolanus with Voldemort and 300, owned. Much Ado About Nothing is not quite as good, but it's still excellent: funny and entertaining.
GENERALLY RECOMMENDED:
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug - I am glad these movies are all making trillions of dollars, because it increases the chances of a gritty two-part version of The Children of Hurin.
Iron Man 3 - I liked the second Iron Man best of the three RDJr ones. This one is a fine superhero movie, well-acted and all. It feels long, though, and I was ready, by the end of the movie, for it just to be over. There are several scenes, especially at the end, that clearly were put into the film just for trailers.
Oblivion - Pretty good! Remember when sci-fi action movies were all Real Dumb? They aren't anymore, and I like that. Oblivion doesn't do anything special, but it doesn't dick anything up, either. People are critical of Tom Cruise, and he seems like a bad person, but I almost always like the movies in which he stars. Cruise is not a great actor, but he's competent and generally seems to know his limits. This is one reason War of the Worlds worked - Cruise as a smug semi-loser who doesn't really know what's going on? Believable!
RECOMMENDED, WITH CAVEATS:
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire - At points I found myself not really caring what happened to most of the characters, which is a bad sign, but it's overall a pretty good movie. Most of the actors in this are strong, which is surprising since it is a movie made from a series written for teens and pre-teens.
Star Trek into Darkness - This is basically the first Star Trek reboot movie, but with Sherlock as the bad guy. Somebody (Mobute?) said that the bad guy is basically Sideshow Bob, and the movie works much better that way. It's too bad that the main actor who plays Kirk is such a weak imitation of world-crushing hero Shatner, because everyone else is pretty competent. I never quite, in terms of plot or characterization, understood why anyone in this movie did anything.
The Place Beyond the Pines - This is a not terribly compelling but generally watchable generational drama about secrets and crimes and connections. I was really excited about it, because the movie looked like Drive but with motorcycles and bank robberies. It isn't.
The Great Gatsby - This movie runs into the same problem as the next one, which is source material. Why make this movie now? If it's a portrayal of the failures of the rich and the inherent corruption of great wealth, something we had in the 1920s and today, why make that great wealth look so awesome? I have suspicions this will be the problem with The Wolf of Wall Street - allegedly an indictment of excess and criminality which ends up glorifying it. Leonardo DiCaprio does not pick movies which best suit his acting.
Man of Steel - I liked this movie, I guess, except for the Superman part. The fight scenes are cool and the actors (except for the guy who played Superman, Handsomey McStrongWhiteJawline) are all better than this movie deserves. The plot mostly makes sense, at least as far as stupid superhero movies go. Still: Why make an angsty Superman? Star Trek sort of had the same problem: if your film relies on people knowing things about the character because of previous incarnations, and not because of things which the film or its immediate predecessors explain, then you are failing. I really wish the movie had just been a space political drama starring Jor-L and Zod.
This Is the End - If you like those Pineapple Express/Superbad kind of comedies, this is an entirely competent (if self-indulgent) version.
Ender's Game - Not a terrible movie, and they do some things right I didn't expect to work (like portraying the Battle School formations in a way which makes sense), but this movie was rushed and, as a result, lacked emotional impact. Except for some parts of the fighting in Battle School, this movie looked cheap: there were about four different sets, total, plus a lot of obviously-CGI space ships. The main actors are mostly fine, but this movie had some poor casting, too: the kid who plays Bonzo was a terrible, terrible choice because he's not intimidating. Harrison Ford doesn't try acting anymore. The book Ender's Game is really a dark subject, and it's got some difficult themes that the movie can barely address.They really should have made this at least two films, and probably a trilogy (everyone loves trilogies). A trilogy would allow three films to each have a slightly different feel and address some of the larger themes the movie just misses.
MAYBE ON CABLE?:
The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia - Fun to watch, but dumb.
Elysium - I was super pumped about this movie, made by the guy who made District 9 (which I really liked). But this is the dumb version of District 9. It's absurdly heavy-handed, the plot does not make sense, and the world is not believable. It's never clear why, in an obviously post-scarcity economy, the economic and social distinctions remain. Given that it's obviously easy to land a ship on the space station thing, why not put a bunch of diesel-filled barges around it in space and hold the rich people hostage? Why don't the rich people on Elysium throw asteroids into earth, killing all the poor people? That said, the effects and action were good, mostly the acting is fine, and I actually cared what happened to a couple of people.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues - It's like the first one, but not as good.
World War Z - This is nothing like the book World War Z. It's a stupid plot. Brad Pitt is irritating in this movie (usually I think he's pretty good). The zombies are not scary or interesting (I Am Legend, another movie which entirely misses the point of its source material, had a similar problem).
NOT RECOMMENDED:
Oz the Great and Powerful - Dumb and tiresome. I am sure everyone involved made a billion dollars. You can often tell when people make a movie because it's a lot of money, and not because, say, there's a story they want to tell or a character or situation they want to explore. I will say, it was fun watching this movie in 2-D and seeing all the tossed hats and such which were clearly designed for 3-D.
Gangster Squad - This movie has a fascinating subject and a great cast. It's really terrible, though, and I can't quite put my finger on why. I think part of it is that everyone is too much, if that makes sense -- the heroes too heroic, the villains too villainous, the fights too astounding. The plot is dumb and writing lazy: The movie ends with a fist fight between the main good guy and the main bad guy. Everyone involved in this was a pro, and I wonder if there was a point when they all realized that they were working on a crap movie.
Olympus Has Fallen - Woof, what a terrible movie. The plot is ridiculous, the acting terrible, the special effects laughable. Nothing redeems this movie.
STRONGLY RECOMMENDED:
Gravity - In a year without a really great movie (there were at least five movies in 2012 that would have been my favorite movie of 2013 (though I haven't seen the movies which look best of 2013, including: 12 Years a Slave, Inside Llewyn Davis, and Her)), this was my favorite. It's not a good movie in the sense that there's a lot of great acting and characterization and such. But seeing this in the theater was definitely worth the money - it's beautiful to look at, and I was immediately immersed in the story. There are a couple of moments when the movie lost that, just a little; the imagery is a little heavy-handed at times, and the film is too sentimental. But then again, I am dark-hearted and cynical. And sometimes even over-the-top sentimentality is okay, in an over-the-top movie.
Pacific Rim - Look, this is a movie about robots fighting monsters. If you don't like that sort of thing, move on. I love it, this movie was awesome, and if they want to make more Robot Jox meets Godzilla movies, I will pay to go see it.
Much Ado About Nothing - IMDB says this is 2012, but Wikipedia says 2013 for its theatrical release, and I am going with that. Except for the Leo Romeo and Juliet, I always enjoy these "Shakespeare in modern day" adaptations. The most recent I'd previously seen, Coriolanus with Voldemort and 300, owned. Much Ado About Nothing is not quite as good, but it's still excellent: funny and entertaining.
GENERALLY RECOMMENDED:
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug - I am glad these movies are all making trillions of dollars, because it increases the chances of a gritty two-part version of The Children of Hurin.
Iron Man 3 - I liked the second Iron Man best of the three RDJr ones. This one is a fine superhero movie, well-acted and all. It feels long, though, and I was ready, by the end of the movie, for it just to be over. There are several scenes, especially at the end, that clearly were put into the film just for trailers.
Oblivion - Pretty good! Remember when sci-fi action movies were all Real Dumb? They aren't anymore, and I like that. Oblivion doesn't do anything special, but it doesn't dick anything up, either. People are critical of Tom Cruise, and he seems like a bad person, but I almost always like the movies in which he stars. Cruise is not a great actor, but he's competent and generally seems to know his limits. This is one reason War of the Worlds worked - Cruise as a smug semi-loser who doesn't really know what's going on? Believable!
RECOMMENDED, WITH CAVEATS:
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire - At points I found myself not really caring what happened to most of the characters, which is a bad sign, but it's overall a pretty good movie. Most of the actors in this are strong, which is surprising since it is a movie made from a series written for teens and pre-teens.
Star Trek into Darkness - This is basically the first Star Trek reboot movie, but with Sherlock as the bad guy. Somebody (Mobute?) said that the bad guy is basically Sideshow Bob, and the movie works much better that way. It's too bad that the main actor who plays Kirk is such a weak imitation of world-crushing hero Shatner, because everyone else is pretty competent. I never quite, in terms of plot or characterization, understood why anyone in this movie did anything.
The Place Beyond the Pines - This is a not terribly compelling but generally watchable generational drama about secrets and crimes and connections. I was really excited about it, because the movie looked like Drive but with motorcycles and bank robberies. It isn't.
The Great Gatsby - This movie runs into the same problem as the next one, which is source material. Why make this movie now? If it's a portrayal of the failures of the rich and the inherent corruption of great wealth, something we had in the 1920s and today, why make that great wealth look so awesome? I have suspicions this will be the problem with The Wolf of Wall Street - allegedly an indictment of excess and criminality which ends up glorifying it. Leonardo DiCaprio does not pick movies which best suit his acting.
Man of Steel - I liked this movie, I guess, except for the Superman part. The fight scenes are cool and the actors (except for the guy who played Superman, Handsomey McStrongWhiteJawline) are all better than this movie deserves. The plot mostly makes sense, at least as far as stupid superhero movies go. Still: Why make an angsty Superman? Star Trek sort of had the same problem: if your film relies on people knowing things about the character because of previous incarnations, and not because of things which the film or its immediate predecessors explain, then you are failing. I really wish the movie had just been a space political drama starring Jor-L and Zod.
This Is the End - If you like those Pineapple Express/Superbad kind of comedies, this is an entirely competent (if self-indulgent) version.
Ender's Game - Not a terrible movie, and they do some things right I didn't expect to work (like portraying the Battle School formations in a way which makes sense), but this movie was rushed and, as a result, lacked emotional impact. Except for some parts of the fighting in Battle School, this movie looked cheap: there were about four different sets, total, plus a lot of obviously-CGI space ships. The main actors are mostly fine, but this movie had some poor casting, too: the kid who plays Bonzo was a terrible, terrible choice because he's not intimidating. Harrison Ford doesn't try acting anymore. The book Ender's Game is really a dark subject, and it's got some difficult themes that the movie can barely address.They really should have made this at least two films, and probably a trilogy (everyone loves trilogies). A trilogy would allow three films to each have a slightly different feel and address some of the larger themes the movie just misses.
MAYBE ON CABLE?:
The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia - Fun to watch, but dumb.
Elysium - I was super pumped about this movie, made by the guy who made District 9 (which I really liked). But this is the dumb version of District 9. It's absurdly heavy-handed, the plot does not make sense, and the world is not believable. It's never clear why, in an obviously post-scarcity economy, the economic and social distinctions remain. Given that it's obviously easy to land a ship on the space station thing, why not put a bunch of diesel-filled barges around it in space and hold the rich people hostage? Why don't the rich people on Elysium throw asteroids into earth, killing all the poor people? That said, the effects and action were good, mostly the acting is fine, and I actually cared what happened to a couple of people.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues - It's like the first one, but not as good.
World War Z - This is nothing like the book World War Z. It's a stupid plot. Brad Pitt is irritating in this movie (usually I think he's pretty good). The zombies are not scary or interesting (I Am Legend, another movie which entirely misses the point of its source material, had a similar problem).
NOT RECOMMENDED:
Oz the Great and Powerful - Dumb and tiresome. I am sure everyone involved made a billion dollars. You can often tell when people make a movie because it's a lot of money, and not because, say, there's a story they want to tell or a character or situation they want to explore. I will say, it was fun watching this movie in 2-D and seeing all the tossed hats and such which were clearly designed for 3-D.
Gangster Squad - This movie has a fascinating subject and a great cast. It's really terrible, though, and I can't quite put my finger on why. I think part of it is that everyone is too much, if that makes sense -- the heroes too heroic, the villains too villainous, the fights too astounding. The plot is dumb and writing lazy: The movie ends with a fist fight between the main good guy and the main bad guy. Everyone involved in this was a pro, and I wonder if there was a point when they all realized that they were working on a crap movie.
Olympus Has Fallen - Woof, what a terrible movie. The plot is ridiculous, the acting terrible, the special effects laughable. Nothing redeems this movie.
Monday, June 04, 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
movies update
I am remiss to not mention that included among the movies available on YouTube! are many MST3K episodes.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
movies
Something I've just noticed in the last few weeks: there are lots of full-length feature films on YouTube now, doubtlessly illegally. Some of them are awesome:
Some of them are stupid:
O Brother, Where Art Thou? has been there for a while, but I'm not sure how long they last in general.
Some of them are stupid:
O Brother, Where Art Thou? has been there for a while, but I'm not sure how long they last in general.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Temporal Anomalies movies
Even though I disagree with him on the nature of time travel (if time travel to the past is a thing, then causality should really be treated as a falsity or perhaps a misunderstanding of the nature of reality stemming from our limited human perspective), I like this guy's analyses of the temporal anomalies created in movies about time travel. Sample:
In this original history, Sarah Connor must have had a child. It was not Kyle Reese's child; it might not even have been a boy. All that is certain is that a child was born. It is also certain that someone created something called Skynet, a computer system able to control all of our computerized weapons systems, and that at some point this system became self-aware, and turned against humanity. An unfathomable number of humans died, but Sarah Connor's child survived, and led a resistance of some sort which fought back and prevented Skynet's victory. At some point, however, Skynet decided that it had one good option, to send a machine to the past to destroy Sarah Connor's child. For whatever reason, it determined to do this by destroying Sarah Connor before the child was born. Thus a Terminator was sent back, and history changed completely.
When I say that in this timeline Kyle Reese did not come from the future to protect Sarah Connor, the immediate thought will be that Sarah will die. However, in response to that it is probable that the original terminator was not the T-800 of the first movie, but a much less developed model. The reasons for that are explained in the previous page. Somehow, Sarah Connor managed to escape and give birth to her child. A terminator is relentless, though, and eventually it would have caught up with Sarah Connor and killed her. This must have happened after the child was born. Otherwise, there would have been no child, and Skynet would have had no reason to send the T-800 back, and we would fall into an infinity loop. Because Sarah was killed by the Terminator, Sarah's child would have sent Kyle Reese back to protect her; there is no good reason to have sent someone back to protect Sarah Connor if Sarah Connor survived (something already known from that moment in the future which immediately follows the departure of the Terminator), so Sarah must have been killed. This arrival of Kyle Reese in the past is the second time history changes completely, the third version of time.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
pulpbard
"Welcome to the Pulp Shakespeare Project, devoted to the reconstruction of William Shakespeare's play A Slurry Tale, which curiously resembles Quentin Tarantino's film Pulp Fiction. There is no way to stop this from happening, so this wiki exists to ensure that it is done well, or as well as it can be."
sample:
sample:
Vincent: And know'st thou what the French name cottage pie?
Julius: Say they not cottage pie, in their own tongue?
Vincent: But nay, their tongues, for speech and taste alike
Are strange to ours, with their own history:
Gaul knoweth not a cottage from a house.
Julius: What say they then, pray?
Vincent: Hachis Parmentier.
Julius: Hachis Parmentier! What name they cream?
Vincent: Cream is but cream, only they say la crème.
Julius: What do they name black pudding?
Vincent: I know not;
I visited no inn where't could be bought.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Uncomfortable plot summaries
Not an entirely accurate name, but these are fun. Also once you start making them, it's irresistible. My favorites:
HARRY POTTER: Celebrity Jock thinks rules don’t apply to him, is right.
LOLITA: Man encourages step-daughter to take chances.
LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
LOVE ACTUALLY: Prime Minister risks war with United States over a sexy secretary.
SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
WORLD TRADE CENTER: Rag-tag group of underdogs succeed at a massive undertaking despite overwhelming odds, credit success with faith in God.
Some I wrote:
Inception: Troubled widower sleeps better with professional help.
Forrest Gump: Mentally disabled Vietnam vet watches his wife die.
The Green Mile: Prison guards fail to subvert the law; condemned prisoner executed.
Arrested Development: Failing family business exacerbates personality disorders, substance abuse.
The Chronicles of Narnia: Contemporary Christology not bloodthirsty enough for some.
HARRY POTTER: Celebrity Jock thinks rules don’t apply to him, is right.
LOLITA: Man encourages step-daughter to take chances.
LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
LOVE ACTUALLY: Prime Minister risks war with United States over a sexy secretary.
SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
WORLD TRADE CENTER: Rag-tag group of underdogs succeed at a massive undertaking despite overwhelming odds, credit success with faith in God.
Some I wrote:
Inception: Troubled widower sleeps better with professional help.
Forrest Gump: Mentally disabled Vietnam vet watches his wife die.
The Green Mile: Prison guards fail to subvert the law; condemned prisoner executed.
Arrested Development: Failing family business exacerbates personality disorders, substance abuse.
The Chronicles of Narnia: Contemporary Christology not bloodthirsty enough for some.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
omg
Famously bad scene. Not new or noteworthy. But I did watch the entirety of Troll 2 today and the entire movie is approximately this poorly delivered. Recommended.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
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