Oh no i forgot to do my pix

just kidding!

Old Mist -17.5

TAMU -3.5

Oklahoma -2.5

Mississippi St. + 38.5

Alabama +2

LSU -21.5

More Irish Jokes!

Q: when was the last good Irish barbecue?
A: 1431, and it involved Joan of Arc

Q: Why don't the Irish Barbeque?
A: The snails keep slipping between the grills.

Q: How do you get an Irish waiter's attention?
A: Start ordering in German.

Q: What's the difference between Ireland and Quebec?
A: Quebec has prettier women and colder beer.

Q: Why do the Irish like smelly cheeses?
A: Well, in a room full of Irish people, you can't really smell the cheese.

Q. What is the first thing the Irish Army teaches at basic training?
A. How to surrender in at least 10 languages.

Q. What is the most useful thing in the Irish Army?
A. A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.

A collection of Irish jokes

Two Irish nuns are driving across the countryside when a vampire jumps onto the roof of their car.

"Quick Sister Josephina!" screams the driver. "Show him yer cross!"

The passenger nun leans out the window and yells "Up yours, cocksucker!"

---

Doctors have isolated a variation of Alzheimer's called Irish Alzheimer's -- you forget everything but the grudges.

---

These two Irishmen were looking for work. They saw a poster in the Post Office that said the police were looking for two men for murder, so they went down to the police station to apply.

When they got down there they saw a poster that the police were looking for two Pakistanis for rape. One said to the other, "Wouldn't you know it, those damn wogs get all the good jobs."

---

What's a seven-course Irish meal? A potato and a six-pack.

---

An IRA man dies and goes to heaven and is met by St Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, 'You can't come in, you've been bad.'

The IRA man says, 'I don't want to come in, you've got ten minutes to get out.'

---

An Englishman, a Scott, and a Irishman walked into a pub. Each ordered a pint of beer. Then a fly landed in each one's beer.

The Englishman, turning slightly green, pushed his beer away and asked for another one. The Scott took the fly out, shrugged, and drank his beer. The Irishman pinched the fly by the wings and yelled, "SPIT IT OUT!" "SPIT IT OUT!"

---

Dunleavy and Brennan were out on a river one morning, fishing from their rowboat without much luck -- and needing something to quench their thirst. Suddenly, Dunleavy landed a large fish, who spoke to the two men: "Sure, if you let me go, I'll grant you a single wish." Before Brennan could speak, Dunleavy blurted, "Turn the river into beer!" The fish said, "Done," and hopped back into the river -- which changed moments later as the fish had promised. Dunleavy proudly said, "So whadya think of me now?" Brennan replied, "I think you're a feckin' idiot. Now we gotta piss in the boat."

---

And did you hear about the Irishman who went to Rome and got so drunk that he kissed his wife and beat the pope's foot to a pulp with a coal shovel?

---

Two nuns are riding their bicycles around Dublin trying to find their way back to the convent, but they're lost. After twenty minutes or so, one says, "I've never come this way before." The other gives a knowing nod, "It's the cobblestones."

oh, be rational!

toothpastefordinner.com

Henny Youngman

A collection of Henny Youngman favorites:

You have a ready wit. Let me know when it is ready.

The more I think of you the less I think of you.

It's good to see you. It means you're not behind my back.

You're one of the main reasons for twin beds.

He's a real gentleman. He reminds me of Saint Paul, one of the dullest towns in America.

In New York's garment district a little old man was hit by a car. While waiting for an ambulance, the policeman tucked a blanket under the guys chin and asked, "Are you comfortable?" The man said, "I make a nice living."

I haven't talked to my wife in three days. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I took my wife to a wife-swapping party. I had to throw in some cash.

I miss my wife's cooking - as often as possible.

Was that suit made to order? The guy who ordered it didn't pick it up, huh?

That's a nice suit you're wearing. When did the clown die?

I like the suit you're wearing. Who shines it for you?

He's frank and earnest with women. In Fresno; he's Frank and in Chicago; he's Ernest.

What do you get for a man who has everything? Penicillin.

A priest is sent to Alaska. A Bishop goes up to visit a year later. The Bishop asks, "How do you like it up here?"
The priest says. "If it wasn't for my Rosary and two martinis a day, I'd be lost. Would you like a martini, Bishop?"
"Yes, I would", says the Bishop
The priest says "Rosary, bring the bishop a Martini."

A guy says to a doctor, "I'm having trouble with my love life at home." the doctor says, "Take off 20 pounds and run 10 miles a day for two weeks."
Two weeks later the guy calls the doctor, "Doctor, I took off the 20 pounds and I have been running the 10 miles a day."
"Okay, so how is your love life now?"
"I don't know, I'm 140 miles from home!"

The convict was about to go to the electric chair. He called his lawyer for advice. the lawyer says, "Don't sit down."

The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King."

A panhandler says to me, "Mister, I haven't tasted food for a week." I said, "Don't worry, it still tastes the same."

My father was never home; He was always away drinking booze. He saw a a sign saying, "Drink Canada Dry"; so he went up there.

My mother was 88 years old, she never used glasses. Drank right out of the bottle.

Your presence makes me long for your absence.

Some people bring happiness wherever they go. You bring happiness whenever you go.

I'd like to help you out. which way did you come in?

He willed his body to science. Science is contesting the will.