Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Tortoise Tuesday

Lonesome George (Spanish: Solitario Jorge) is the last known individual of the Pinta Island Tortoise, subspecies Geochelone nigra abingdoni, one of eleven subspecies of Galápagos tortoise native to the Galápagos Islands. He has been labelled the rarest creature in the world, and is a potent symbol for conservation efforts in the Galápagos and internationally. It is thought that he was named after a character played by American actor George Gobel.

George was first seen on the island of Pinta on 1 December 1971 by American snail biologist Joseph Vagvolgyi. The island's vegetation had been decimated by introduced feral goats, and the indigenous G. n. abingdoni population had been reduced to a single individual. Relocated for his safety to the Charles Darwin Research Station, George was penned with two females of a different subspecies, Geochelone nigra becki from Wolf Island, in the hope that his genotype would be retained in the resulting progeny. Any offspring successfully hatched from George and his consorts would be intergrades, not purebreds of the Pinta subspecies.

George is estimated to be 60–90 years of age, and is in good health. A prolonged effort to exterminate goats introduced to Pinta is now complete and the vegetation of the island is starting to return to its former state.
Lonesome George

Health care

I’m a businessman, and in no sense a health-care expert. But the persistence of bad industry practices—from long lines at the doctor’s office to ever-rising prices to astonishing numbers of preventable deaths—seems beyond all normal logic, and must have an underlying cause. There needs to be a business reason why an industry, year in and year out, would be able to get away with poor customer service, unaffordable prices, and uneven results—a reason my father and so many others are unnecessarily killed.

Like every grieving family member, I looked for someone to blame for my father’s death. But my dad’s doctors weren’t incompetent—on the contrary, his hospital physicians were smart, thoughtful, and hard-working. Nor is he dead because of indifferent nursing—without exception, his nurses were dedicated and compassionate. Nor from financial limitations—he was a Medicare patient, and the issue of expense was never once raised. There were no greedy pharmaceutical companies, evil health insurers, or other popular villains in his particular tragedy.

Indeed, I suspect that our collective search for villains—for someone to blame—has distracted us and our political leaders from addressing the fundamental causes of our nation’s health-care crisis. All of the actors in health care—from doctors to insurers to pharmaceutical companies—work in a heavily regulated, massively subsidized industry full of structural distortions. They all want to serve patients well. But they also all behave rationally in response to the economic incentives those distortions create. Accidentally, but relentlessly, America has built a health-care system with incentives that inexorably generate terrible and perverse results. Incentives that emphasize health care over any other aspect of health and well-being. That emphasize treatment over prevention. That disguise true costs. That favor complexity, and discourage transparent competition based on price or quality. That result in a generational pyramid scheme rather than sustainable financing. And that—most important—remove consumers from our irreplaceable role as the ultimate ensurer of value.
How American Health Care Killed My Father

Monday, August 24, 2009

Dogs

Sunday, August 23, 2009

3e Movie Reviews: District 9


What's most important to keep in mind about this movie is that the elevation of Johannesburg is 5,751 feet! There's your Rocky Mountain High, bitch!

Also too, there's something about black people.

So to summarize, the aliens learned a little something about themselves and finally achieved all their goals through hard work and their advanced endocrine systems.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Chiefs

Pam and Angela get high marks.

Friday, August 21, 2009

no comment

3E approves

Dropbox

3E Presents: A Top 21 Things on the Internet: #12 I Just Want Bang Bang Bang



Man, what an awesome video. You can do anything with computers these days.

Ok, Annie, listen. I don't want to make sex, eat chocolate, look at animals, take walk. No. You come home and you say, Hashmir, touch me down there, I like that. I don't think so, Annie. Don't have time, want to drink, cigarette, you know.
You know something Annie, I tell you what, I just want BANG BANG BANG.

Whenever someone says you're going to do something that you don't want to do, if you say WRA-ON-ONG like Hashmir does, you will be fine. Also call people "idiot."

Thursday, August 20, 2009

broken glass

"3E does not know extinction, all it knows is transformation. Everything science has taught me, and continues to teach me, strengthens my belief in the continuity of 3E after graduation."
-Wernher von Braun

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Slower traffic keep right

I am glad there is finally a website dedicated to this issue, although I'm afraid that most of the people who cause traffic problems like this won't read that site. I like this, in reference to the animated image you see there: "Remember that milliseconds can add up to gridlock."

Do you know what I see a lot of around here? People driving very slowly, five or ten or fifteen miles per hour under the speed limit, running red lights. Not only do they drive slowly and make everyone else wait, but they then break the law to avoid the consequences (i.e. the delay) of their inability to drive like a normal person.

not even I think this is cool or important or relevant

I hate math.

John, do you get this a lot?


PFSC blog

Monday, August 17, 2009

Quarterback accuracy

Bridges


We need some of these around here.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Check it, Bs

Tigers Corner

Baby thinking

Gopnik's own view is a clever and counterintuitive twist on James. She argues that babies are more conscious than adults. Her conclusion is based on the study of how attention and inhibition—the capacity to block out distractions—evolve over the course of development. Adult attention is willful and endogenous. Although it can be captured by external events—we will turn if we hear a loud noise—we also have control over what to think about and what to attend to. By sheer will, we can choose to focus on our left foot, then think about what we had for breakfast, then focus on ... whatever we want. Adults are also blessed, to varying degrees, with the power to ignore distractions, both external and internal, and to stay focused on a single task.

This is all harder for babies and young children. They are largely at the mercy of the environment. Simple experiments demonstrate that babies are, for the most part, trapped in the here and now, a conclusion supported by the finding that the part of the brain responsible for inhibition and control, the prefrontal cortex, is among the last to develop. Gopnik uses the example of an adult being dumped into the middle of a foreign city, knowing nothing about what's going on, with no goals and plans, constantly turning to see new things, and struggling to make sense of it all. This is what it's like to be a baby—only more so, since even the most stressed adult has countless ways of controlling attention: We can look forward to lunch, imagine how we would describe this trip to friends, and so on. The baby just is. It sounds exhausting, which might explain why infants spend so much of their time sleeping or (like some travelers) fussing.

For Gopnik, this lack of inhibition and control is a gift. It makes babies and children ideally suited for the task of acquiring information about physical and social reality. When it comes to imagination and learning, their openness to experience makes them "superadults"—not just smart but smarter than we are. She's particularly interested in the power to think about alternate realities, other possible worlds. In several fascinating chapters, she explores how this power is manifested in children's play and in their creation of imaginary companions, plausibly arguing that the capacity to reason about worlds that do not exist is crucial to children's rapid learning about everything from cause-and-effect relationships to human behavior. Gopnik suggests that their neural immaturity gives them greater imaginative powers than adults have: She proclaims, "Children are the R&D department of the human species—the blue-sky guys, the brainstormers. Adults are production and marketing. They [children] think up a million new ideas, mostly useless, and we take the three or four good one and make them real."
The Philosophical Baby

Friday, August 14, 2009

again, a master at his craft

Staggering. Heartfelt. Watch out for the ass.

THA CAPTAIN WEIGHS IN

Me? I thought it would be Caudle. But, apparently, there will have to be a literal or metaphorical bus crash for him to ever start at Auburn.

Chrissy's back and oooh he's gonna give you such a slap


Seriously? This guy's football career is harder to kill than Rasputin.

I am surprised. I have publicly stated I thought the job would go with Kodi Burns, because of (in order of importance) his mobility, strong arm, and experience. Maybe Todd is entirely healthy, then. Burns said he isn't going to transfer, which makes sense; if he can't beat out Neil Caudle and Chris Todd, where's he going to play? UAB? Huntington? I do like the idea of Todd, Burns, and Mario Fannin on the field at the same time. Maybe that's the real reason for picking this quarterback from among some equally good/bad options, because it still lets Burns play a big role in the offense.

School's starting back

Thursday, August 13, 2009

open your mind. open your miiiiind

My Halloween costume: set.


I might order one for the wife to put a small dog in.

UPDATE: 80 bucks! Not likely. I can make one out a trash bag or a fleece blanket if necessary.

Peekaru original

actual student work

Dear Computer,
Why the balls is this on you?
Sincerely, Tha Captain

An issue I could get behind

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Heisman winners

Some highlights:
1959: Billy Cannon (LSU) - Orthodontist in Baton Rouge, LA (age 72)

1965: Mike Garrett (USC) – USC athletic director under fire for possible NCAA violations by football and basketball programs (age 65)

1968: O.J. Simpson (USC) - Serving at least 9 years in Lovelock, NV prison (age 62)

1969: Steve Owens (Oklahoma) - CEO of real estate company, Steve Owens & Associates, in Norman (age 61)

1978: Billy Sims (Oklahoma) – Owns chain of Billy Sims BBQ restaurants in Oklahoma, most recently apologized in December for screaming "Boomer!" 11 times after Sam Bradford won Heisman (age 53)

1987: Tim Brown (Notre Dame) – Owns Tim Brown Racing LLC in NASCAR and lives in DeSoto, TX (age 43)
"Where Are They Now?" Heisman Trophy Edition

no comment

The Flowering of Jal Sparks

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Mario computers

Someone wrote a Flash game that creates infinite Mario levels. Someone else made a program that plays Mario levels. The end is near.

See more at CollegeHumor.

The inner workings of the math department at a major research university

in spreadsheet form.

drankin'

His biographer, Billy Reed, says Hornung “led the Packers, and maybe the NFL, in chasing women, hanging out in bars and nightclubs, and generally trying to circumvent the strict rules of Vince Lombardi.” And famed sportswriter Dick Schaap, who spent a week with Hornung leading up to a game vs. Cleveland, summed up an average Hornung day: “At three (after practice) he’d come home, mix a pitcher of martinis, and drink martinis with Ron Kramer and the others. Then they’d go out an have dinner, a group of players. Scotch before dinner. Wine with dinner. Brandy after dinner. Then back on scotch. Every day. I lost count by the time it had reached more than 60. Also, he never went to bed before four in the morning and he never went to bed alone.”

Modern Drunkard Magazine

Monday, August 10, 2009

pre dick shuns!

Everybody's doing it. By the way, I thought about putting links to the You Can't Spell EPIC FAIL posts, but I didn't. Fuck you.

1. Chelsea - I'm on the trolley again. They lost nobody and gained one wily Russian whose last name sounds like 'jerkoff.' I thought they would do it last year. They didn't. I'll probably be saying that same thing next year. Will this blog be around then? YES!

2. Manchester United - Topping the table four straight years would be xtrakrzy. Ronaldo was a dickweed but he was a brilliant dickweed who won countless games singlehandedly. Rooney isn't selfish enough to pick up the goalscoring slack and their midfield is apallingly mediocre.

3. Liverpool - Arbeloa out Glen Johnson in is an upgrade. Xabi Alonso out Alberto Aquilani in is not. If either Gerrard or Torres misses any significant time, they'll be lower than this. Thinner than my hair. And that is fuckin' thin.

4. Arsenal - More Russians. I'm convinced Andrei Arshavin is really, really good. Having him for the whole season will mean Arsenal will finish less than ten points back of the top three.

5. Everton - Con.Sis.Tent.

6. Manchester City - A real wild card. In the sense that everyone other than their fans wants to see them fail spectacularly but nobody really knows how good they will be. They've outspent everyone else and will likely be able to score shit tons of goals. However, your big defensive upgrade was Kolo Toure? Get outta here.

7. Aston Villa - No cockteasing this year. They flirted with the top four last year but ended up at home jerking off to facebook.

8. Tottenham Hotspur - They can't possibly start as bad as they did last year, can they? They can! But won't.

9. West Ham United - Proving that even if all your players kinda suck you can still field a pretty good team. I'm convinced that no player on their team has scored or ever will score a goal.

10. Fulham - See above.

11. Sunderland - See above above.

12. Wigan Athletic - See above above above.

13. Blackburn Rovers - See above above above above.

14. Birmingham City - Why am I so convinced that they will be the safest of the promoted teams? Birmingham pride, baby.

15. Bolton Wanderers - I actually grew to like them last year. Their new jerseys are grody croyle.

16. Stoke City - How are they still here? They'll hack their way to another season of safety.

17. Wolverhampton Wanderers - Good name, bad team.

18. Portsmouth - Financial worries. Relegation will not help that.

19. Hull City - If they're anywhere near as shitty as they were in the second half of last season, they'll be relegaed by mid march.

20. Burnley - I really, really want these cute little country guys to make it in the big city. I don't see how it could happen. They'll be lucky to have a merely bad season and not an epic Derby County 2008 style train derailment.

Football schedules

This is really magnificent, and with football season nigh upon us, it's good to remind ourselves of the tools at our disposal.

Comic book headlines


Dateline: Silver Age

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Saturday, August 08, 2009

'bout to get my Pynch-on!

Narration by the man himself.

comics I like

Not new to readers of this site, I am sure.




xkcd

Friday, August 07, 2009

3E Presents: A Top 21 Things on the Internet: #13 Chocolate Rain



As Tha Cap'n put it, it makes sense that a guy who sounds 50 and looks fourteen should be 27. Some people don't like him.

Since two years ago, when it was popular, "Chocolate Rain" has had over 40 million views, which is a lot. Also Mr. Zonday got paid to make this.



The reason this is on my list is because about once a month the song randomly gets stuck in my head, and it stays there for about three days. This has not declined in frequency, that I can tell, which I think is a bad sign about how much more empty space my brain has left for learning new things.

But overall, I guess that whole internet fame thing pretty cool, right? A talented guy gets popular on the internet and then rightly makes at least a little money as a result of that talent.

But that is a fake story, the same way that poor black kids leaving the ghettos to become NBA All-Stars is a fake story. The fact that it may have happened before in no way makes it less true.*

*This totally makes sense if you think about it in typical (in the sense of "a type or model for one's life") terms.

For at least one of us, this is very good news.

I know what all of 3E will be doing at 6:45 AM every Saturday this season!*











*sleeping

Thought he was a goner

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

toats bsc's year

d3 preseason top 25. Millsucks and Trinity just barely on the outside looking in. Down year in the SCAC? Actually I think it's just a shite conference. Also note LaGrange receiving un poco amount of votes. Remember, they're just one year ahead of BSC in this 'starting a football program' tutorial.

Cake Tuesday II

So, I like the band Cake. This is mostly because of their music. But they seem like pretty good guys, too. Like right now, their website plays a Chinese version of "Wheels," which is not a song I'm particularly crazy about but I like the Chinese (maybe it's Japanese -- I am not good on languages) one. Also, I like their "News" section. Some of the things you can learn there:
Two logical fallacies that we must avoid: The naturalistic fallacy (what is natural is good) and the moralistic fallacy (what is good is natural).

The English language makes a distinction between blue and green but some languages do not. Of these, quite a number, mostly in Africa, do not distinguish blue from black either, whilst there are a handful of languages that do not distinguish blue from black but have a separate term for green. Also, some languages treat light (often greenish) blue and dark blue as separate colors, rather than different variations of blue, while English does not.

Even "pure" or "filtered" honey contains tiny amounts of bacteria that can lead to botulism if fed to infants, although the bacteria is usually harmless to older children and adults.

Salt contains two elements, sodium and chloride, crucial to existence. Excessive avoidance of salt, especially in hot weather, can be damaging to the body and drain energy.

CHICKEN MCNUGGET PASTE

Monday, August 03, 2009

Malcolm Gladwell

A Malcolm Gladwell article about Jim Folsom and To Kill a Mockingbird and mentioning someone from my comps committee?

I think I understand what Gladwell is saying, but he's chosen terrible examples to do it. For example, in discussing the famous court case, Gladwell asserts that Atticus Finch was making an argument using class-based prejudices to discredit the alleged victim.
We are back in the embrace of Folsomism. Finch wants his white, male jurors to do the right thing. But as a good Jim Crow liberal he dare not challenge the foundations of their privilege. Instead, Finch does what lawyers for black men did in those days. He encourages them to swap one of their prejudices for another.
Problem: has their been a major southern politician since WWII that this works less well for than it does for Jim Folsom? The man became successful, after all, for his willing embrace of ultra-populist causes. They didn't call him the little man's big friend for nothing. Folsom didn't attack the poor as trashy; he urged them to demand more from their government.

And "the Supreme Court’s landmark desegregation ruling in Brown v. Board of Education ended Folsom’s career" isn't really true. It was enormous corruption, his own well-publicized alcoholism, and the all-out attacks from the Alabama political establishment that ended Folsom's career. A comeback was already quite unrealistic for Big Jim before the civil rights movement and George Wallace came into the picture.

We could demand that Folsom had never made any concessions to racism or Jim Crow, and reject any apparently admirable traits he had because of his failure to totally devote himself to overthrowing an evil system. I don't think that's terribly realistic, though. Of the people who were actually capable of winning the Alabama governorship between 1945 and 1960, who would Gladwell have rather won? Who, of those actually possible, would have been better for blacks (or, for that matter, poor whites)?
The argument over race had risen to such a pitch that it could no longer be alleviated by gesture and symbolism—by separate but equal inaugural balls and hearty handshakes—and he [Folsom] was lost.
So, gesture and symbolism had no value in challenging Jim Crow? That's wrong, obviously so when one considers how much of Jim Crow was dedicated to symbolism and appearance.

And Folsom wasn't lost because he didn't understand the legal and social and political changes going on around him. He was lost because the time when a moderate liberal could win votes by appealing to large numbers of southern whites without enthusiastically embracing segregation came to an end.

And Atticus Finch. Gladwell criticizes (or says some people criticize him, or could criticize him -- he's vague as ever) Finch for being friendly toward his neighbors, despite their racism, and for his insistence that these people are wrong, not evil, in their hatred of blacks. I'm not quite sure how this is entirely worthy of criticism. Does Gladwell know anyone who is racist? Does he automatically assume that person is in every way evil? If so, that means (to throw out a number) two-thirds of all Americans had evil grandparents.
Finch will stand up to racists. He’ll use his moral authority to shame them into silence. He will leave the judge standing on the sidewalk while he shakes hands with Negroes. What he will not do is look at the problem of racism outside the immediate context of Mr. Cunningham, Mr. Levy, and the island community of Maycomb, Alabama.
That's a fairly tall order, Mr. Gladwell, for someone living in Alabama in 1959. Risking life and livelihood alone is, apparently, not enough. Gladwell is not just saying that Finch's approach fails to advance civil rights; he seems to be saying that it's actively harmful. I don't know what to make of that.
That her father and the Sheriff have decided to obstruct justice in the name of saving their beloved neighbor the burden of angel-food cake? Atticus Finch is faced with jurors who have one set of standards for white people like the Ewells and another set for black folk like Tom Robinson. His response is to adopt one set of standards for respectable whites like Boo Radley and another for white trash like Bob Ewell.
Boo Radley saved the life of a small child and, in doing so, killed her attacker. Should it come to court, it is obvious what the outcome of a trial would be. He also has some sort of social disorder that makes it difficult for him to leave his home or interact with people (which he rather courageously overcomes to save the life of a young girl who has never been particularly nice to him). Assuming that a prosecutor would even take action against a man who killed an attacker while saving two children (and one wouldn't), in light of Radley's mental problems, the sheriff decides to falsify his report. This is unfortunate, not to be taken as an example. But it's only obstruction of the law, not obstruction of justice.

But I think I get what Gladwell is saying, or at least the point he is trying to make. A certain brand of vaguely-populist southern liberalism didn't sufficiently address the problem of racism in southern society. Where he goes wrong: using Jim Folsom as the best example of this, when Folsom was actually pretty good on racial issues, certainly better than was politically wise; trying to say that Atticus Finch had the same politics as Jim Folsom (!) or at least is somehow comparable in the way he addressed racial issues (!!); implying that class-based prejudices had something to do with this, although it's not clear what exactly, and saying that Folsom wanted people to embrace this class prejudice (!!!) instead of racism (!!!!).

Historically and logically, this gets a D. I won't even get into Gladwell's apparent acceptance of Klarman's backlash thesis or his (apparent) simultaneous, contradictory conviction that law-oriented activism was the only legitimate way to improve race relations in the South.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

Friday, July 31, 2009

The Wesley Cup! (gay)


Huntingdon. I hate those ghost-seeing, laptop-getting yahoos almost as much as those fuckers at Millsaps. I love manufactured rivalries, though.

I'm sure I would get tired of this song eventually

should sound familiar

listen.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Bud Light, huh

Change we can believe in?

Given that Bug Light is owned by a Belgian company, boo! Also, it tastes not too great. I assume that Obama has to pick something quintessentially American, which is why he went with Bud Light. That says something about this country, but I don't know what. Some better choices:

-Sam Adams Double Bock: Few things are as American as Sam Adams, and if he serves a couple of Double Bocks, everyone will be too full to want dinner. That means a savings for us, the taxpayers.
-Yuengling Black and Tan: America's oldest brewery. Their B&T is a cheap beer that tastes like a mid-level beer.
-Blue Moon Summer Ale: Colorado is an important electoral college state, right?
-Pabst Blue Ribbon: Endear yourself to the hipster crowd. Please, if you're going to cheap, bad beer, at least do it right.
-Left Hand Milk Stout: Colorado does something right, I guess. Milk Stout is my favorite beer, but I like their Deep Cover Brown Ale too, although I've only had a single bottle of it.

Based on true events

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Birdy Nam Nam

Cap'n, when you played up The Holy Mountain so much, I expected it to be like this.

BIRDY NAM NAM - THE PARACHUTE ENDING from Steve Scott on Vimeo.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Speaking of people 3E likes

and he can do the robot dance!

We here at 3E love Peter Crouch. When asked what he would be if he weren't a professional footballer, his answer: "a virgin." Adorable. Tha Captain couldn't be happier that the Premier League's tallest player signed for Spurs today.

If I were Crouchy, and some suit asked for a resume, I would show them:

1. Pictures of my wife:

2. Videos showing that despite being the most awkward looking human being on the planet, I can do this:

The Godfather vs. Arrested Development

Here. A sample:
Connie is the only daughter of Don Vito. In "Part II": Though she and Michael care for one another very much, she often abuses what little power she has and requests money with spite. She is lazy and unmotivated, treading on the comforts that her familial status gives her. She rebels against the values of the family by remarrying somebody that the rest of the family despises.

Lindsay is the only daughter of George, Sr. Though she and Michael care for one another very much, she often abuses what little power she has and requests money with spite. She is lazy and unmotivated, treading on the comforts that her familial status gives her. She rebels against the values of the family by marrying somebody that the rest of the family despises.
If it had robot sword-fighting, it would be everything I love in pop culture.

Monday, July 27, 2009

40" to freedom

Gates arrested

Has any news story in the last decade or so led to more people getting the wrong message from a situation than has this Henry Louis Gates thing? Everybody is pushing the wrong angle -- that it's about how a black man in America can't catch a break, or an elitist professor trying to pull rank on a regular guy cop, or Barack Obama meddling in a local issue.

I've seen very few people note the real issue, which is the abuse of police authority. You can arrest a guy for being a mouthy jerk? How is that reasonable? And how should we consider addressing this problem? Would reforms in training, or hiring, or discipline work?

I guess the race angle is better for ratings, and it's a more familiar, more easily discussed topic. I wish someone besides the barely-marginal libertarians would be pointing out that it's not why Gates was arrested that's such a big deal; it's the fact that he could be arrested at all that should make us concerned.

Obama's birth certificate

This is pretty funny.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

An apology

Soon after we smoked, the tapestry-draped, cinder-block dorm room began to feel extremely cramped. There was nowhere to sit. Pat and Ben were talking about stuff I couldn’t understand. I wondered at some point whether they’d made up a secret language. But I nodded along so as to be polite.

It was a great relief to get outside. But by that time, 8 p.m. maybe, it had gotten dark and the road back to the quad had taken on a sinister air. I had still had no idea what Pat and Ben were saying when they spoke. And when they laughed, it was worse.

Back at the tent, the party had begun. Seniors were arriving, drunk and loud as they’d been all week. You were a whirl of orchestrating activity, talking fast, with people surrounding you wherever you went. I didn’t dare approach. Pat and Ben, though, went to get their assignments, and were soon stationed at the side of the stage, ten feet behind an orange rope. There’d be a band playing later, and I guess they were supposed to keep people away from the instruments or something. It was all very confusing. I walked around by myself for a while and it soon became clear that everyone was against me.
Dear Julia Neaman

Friday, July 24, 2009

I learned how to raise my voice in anger



Pete Townsend said this was the worst Who song recorded.

What am I seeking for the weekend? High-gravity beer. Thanks, Free the Hops!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

3E Presents: A Top 21 Things on the Internet: #14 I'm on a Boat, the Natalie Portman Rap, and general Lonely Island stuff



This is the second straight entry that makes me want to say "Shawtee!"

Actually, most of their stuff isn't terribly good. But a lot of it is good, and some of it is downright brilliant.



I think it started with Weird Al, that parody and satire started to be better than the target of ridicule. Rap is so silly, though, and so ready to sell out (that is, after all, T-Pain up there), that we're going to reach the point where we can't really talk about satire.

I can't be the only one

Does anyone else watch The 40 Year Old Virgin and get jealous of all the free time that Steve Carrell has? I'd like to play video games for a couple of hours in one of those big chairs every night.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Helmet catch

There is much to enjoy about this video.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

One question

Where is Yoshi's Cookie???

Images and lawsuits

You've probably seen this email on whatever internet things you look at:



But did you know there's more to the story? Now you do.

Monday, July 20, 2009

oh man yes

Weekly World News at Google Books

Unrelated:

A series of spoilers for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

A major character dies at the end.

-

A major character betrays another major character.

-

In the penultimate scene, Harry Potter and Voldemort throw massive left hooks at the exact same time. They connect, knocking each other out. Both men are counted out, and when Voldemort wakes up, he realizes Harry's still got it. The crowd chants, "Potter! Potter!" and the two fighters hug, each having a new-found respect for the other.

-

At the end, Harry Potter wakes up next to Susan Pleshette, and it was all a dream. Before going back to sleep, Harry tells her she should wear more wizarding robes.

-

It turns out Albus Dumbledore was actually a Grand Wizard.

-

Harry is startled by the dog while sleeping in his favorite easy chair. He sits up, sore, and realizes he has never accomplished anything important since he was in high school, fifty years ago this May. He peaked, and nothing he ever does again will matter. He gets up to mix another gin and tonic.

-

Wizards aren't real.

Friday, July 17, 2009

So wrong

Fox casting for new Futurama voices.

yeah and fuck you for your painstaking efforts to gather all the broadcast information

typos will not be tolerated!



just kidding! it's got what you need.

I knew it!

Let's start with something small. Many people believe that each of the tartan (plaid) patterns worn by Scottish Highlanders corresponds to a particular clan and that kilts made of this fabric have served as the uniforms and emblems of that clan since time immemorial. But, as the historian Hugh Trevor-Roper pointed out in a famous essay titled "The Invention of History: The Highland Tradition of Scotland," that simply isn't true. "Indeed," Trevor-Roper wrote, "the whole concept of a distinct Highland culture and tradition is a retrospective invention," cooked up in the 19th century. Much the same can be said of the customs of the "traditional" wedding (the elaborate church ceremony, the white dress, etc.), which were concocted a the same time. In fact, for most of the history of Christendom, a wedding was a low-key affair conducted at home without the benefit of clergy.

Neither of these interesting tidbits appears in Margaret MacMillan's "Dangerous Games: The Uses and Abuses of History," however. MacMillan, a Canadian historian who heads St. Antony's College at Oxford, believes that historians ought to concern themselves with weightier stuff. Take, for example, the Treaty of Versailles, signed by the Allies and Germany after World War I and -- as I was led to believe in school -- significantly responsible for World War II. For decades the treaty was regarded as, in MacMillan's words "so foolish and vindictive" that it goaded Germany into a renewal of its imperial ambitions. But, MacMillan insists, the terms of Versailles were "never as severe as many Germans claimed and many British and Americans came to believe." The woes, financial and political, suffered by Germany between the wars, and the subsequent rise of Adolf Hitler on a tide of wounded nationalist pride, were really the result of the Great Depression and "a whole series of bad decisions" made by German leaders.

Yet kilts and bouquets have more common with simmering Weimar-era resentment than might initially seem. Even trivial "bad history," as MacMillan would call it, can be driven by profound desires. Trevor-Roper judged the "artificial creation of new Highland traditions, presented as ancient, original and distinctive," to be an attempt to assert a Scottish identity as a kind of protest against "Union with England." The idea of a gallant, free, Scottish tribal past appealed to the sensibility of the Victorian era as, too, did the notion of a very special white wedding dress; the first one was worn by Victoria herself when she married Prince Albert. Just as Scots thrilled to the idea of a rich native culture with deep roots, so we like to believe that the modern vision of wedlock as a union founded in true love is hallowed and eternal. Convincing ourselves that weddings have always been wrapped in sacred and sentimental rituals is like a charm against our suspicion that marriage may not be that romantic after all.
History is bunk after all

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Henry Paulson

How is he not in jail for this? He basically walked into the Capitol, admitted to bribing/threatening CEOs to commit fraud because he thought it was important, and nobody seems to care.

It's like the torture/terrorism thing. People have admitted to ordering or performing torture, and the debate is over whether the debate is bringing up the past. It's unbelievable.

15.8 kHz

was my highest. I think I can kind of hear 16.7, but not really -- it's more like I can hear something's not quite right, but I can't really say I hear a particular sound or tone.

Ultrasonic Ringtones

I will not be putting one on my phone.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

30 Rock is a rip-off of the Muppet Show?

Tina Fey's 30 ROCK is currently the most acclaimed comedy series on television. It's won numerous Emmys and Golden Globes and I think Pulitzers. Critics and audiences alike love the show and its lovable zany characters, and consider it one of the most original comedies in years.

And I guess it is original...if you've never seen THE MUPPET SHOW. Because, my "friends" (in quotes because I don't know or trust you, please don't be offended), Tina Fey's 30 ROCK is quite obviously ripping off Jim Henson's beloved TV show.

"You're crazy", you say? "Wow, now with the insults. This is why I don't trust you", I respond. And the I hit you up with so many facts you HAVE to concede I'm absolutely right.
The evidence

1:25 is my favorite part



Also

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Stupid normal people


A common bias among the smart is to overestimate how smart everyone else is. This was certainly my experience in moving from top rank universities as a student to a mid rank university as a teacher. A better intuition for common abilities can be found by browsing the US National Assesment of Adult Literacy sample questions.

For example, in 1992 out of a random sample of US adults, 7% could not do item SCOR300, which is to find the expiration date on a driver’s license. 26% could not do item AB60303, which is to check the “Please Call” box on a phone message slip when they’ve been told:
Overcoming Bias: Stupider than You Realize

3E Presents: A Top 21 Things on the Internet: #15 Auto-Tune the News



Already recognized in this space, Auto-Tune the News is the youngest entry on our list. They're all good, but I think #2 is still my favorite.



I still "shawty!" about five times a day.

Apparently Auto Tune became popular after 1998, when Cher released "Believe." I remember that song. It wasn't very good! But this is quite good, or at least better than most of the mediocre pop music we see these days. Serious question: why do these folks work part-time while people get paid to produce The Apprentice, Nancy Grace, Mind of Mencia, etc etc.?

Auto-Tune the News is created by the Gregory Brothers. If I am ever in New York, I hope I can see one of their shows.

I just wish he/she had spelled it 'goddamn'

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Football whatnot

A couple of bits of bad news have come out in the last week about the Auburn football team and, as tends to happen with these sorts of things during the offseason, fan response seems to have gone to either extreme: near-total panic or flip dismissal. Is either response right? Is this the end of the world, or just nothing to worry about? Let’s take a look!

First, there's been some discussion around the tubes lately, starting I believe with this Evan Woodbery piece, about the size of Auburn's recruiting class thus far (the very existence of which is sort of terrifying, given that it's seven months before signing day). Several schools, including SEC members Florida, LSU, and Alabama, already have 15 or more. Should having such a small class so far give Auburn fans pause?

Probably not. Even with only 8 commitments, right now Auburn has a top-25 class (according to Scout, though you can only put so much confidence in that). One four-star and a bunch of three-stars so far is nothing to panic about. The ratio isn’t quite as good as it was last year, but Auburn’s got several high-profile prospects (Lache Seastrunk, Michael Dyer, Joel Bonomolo, Wes Rea, etc) on the radar. Head coach Gene Chizik has put together quite a staff, with a lot of creative if sometimes hit-and-miss ideas, and their performance last year in salvaging what turned into a good class was very impressive. Recruiting shouldn’t be a long-term problem.

A more serious concern: Only Decent Returning Receiver Tim Hawthorne broke his foot during summer workouts. Hawthorne’s had some terrible luck at Auburn. He’s supposed to be back in time to be healthy for the season, but that’s a story we’ve heard before. This is pretty bad news, except for young receivers who might be looking to grab a chance for more playing time.

But the real problem here, which should give Auburn fans pause as the season approaches and temper their expectations just a bit, is what these problems say about the larger situation the team is in. Recruiting a small class is important for Auburn right now because of serious concerns about quality depth at every position except for running back. Linebacker and especially offensive line are such that any serious injury would be catastrophic. There are plenty of quarterbacks and wide receivers, but at their best inspire only an “Eh.”

That’s why even a best-case scenario for 2009 is going to mean a drop-off late in the season, especially on defense. Right now, the bodies just aren’t there.

oh no he didn't.

oh yes he did.

Mexican soccer

Up yours, Mexico.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Thursday, July 09, 2009

I must own this


Desert Bus is the best known minigame in the package, and was a featured part of Electronic Gaming Monthly's preview. The objective of the game is to drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time at a maximum speed of 45mph, a feat that would take the player 8 hours of continuous play to complete, as the game cannot be paused.

The bus contains no passengers, and there is no scenery or other traffic on the road. The bus veers to the right slightly; as a result, it is impossible to tape down a button to go do something else and have the game end properly. If the bus veers off the road it will stall and be towed back to Tucson, also in real time. If the player makes it to Las Vegas, they will score exactly one point. The player then gets the option to make the return trip to Tucson—for another point (a decision they must make in a few seconds or the game ends). Players may continue to make trips and score points as long as their endurance holds out. Some players who have completed the trip have also noted that, although the scenery never changes, a bug splats on the windscreen about five hours through the first trip, and on the return trip the light does fade, with differences at dusk, and later a pitch black road where the player is guided only with headlights.

Penn says, "The best part of that I think was an idea that was not mine, not Teller’s, and not Barry Marx, who designed the game with us. It was an idea by Eddie Gorodetsky, one of the producers on Two and a Half Men, really funny guy. I think that Eddie G. is one of the funniest guys in the world."
- Penn & Teller's Smoke and Mirrors

Handy reference guide

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

The End of an Era

"Goodbye, old friend."
- The kid who shot Ol' Yellar


A diagram about work



From this guy.

I am nominally in the Hooray! section, so I got that going for me.

for some reason I feel like tha cap will like this

Monday, July 06, 2009

Flash Lemmings

Here.

Ah, the early 90s, when men were men and games were games.

this reminds me of t3h f0rUm

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Friday, July 03, 2009

3E Presents: A Top 21 Things on the Internet: #16 Rainbow sprinkler conspiracy lady (and the fail internet phenomenon in general I guess)



A good question. What the heck is in our oxygen supply? Metallic oxide salts? What is oozing out of our ground?

I discovered this video on FAIL Blog. Let's establish at the outset that, like most things, most of what's on there isn't very good: videos of people falling out of chairs, or signs in Engrish, or obvious fakes. That said, it can reach some impressive heights. Let's look at one item that just about pushed this one out of the lead:


Mascot Fail

The use of Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" apparently violates copyright, so a good version of this video (and it wasn't exactly HD-DVD quality to begin with) is kind of hard to find. That said: I love that bear!

I think it's the Time Cube-esque opening that pushes the rainbow sprinkler conspiracy lady to the top. That, and she touches a lot of different areas of idiocy: pseudo-science, populism, anything involving the phrase "we as a nation." I think my favorite part is how it ends: a rotation of the camera, sirens in the background, 12 seconds of silence from our narrator, and then a closing card with a demand for action.

As we say in the academic world, the real key isn't answering questions, it's asking the rights ones. Way to go, rainbow sprinkler conspiracy lady.

Arland, are you okay?



My favorite part it how it cuts out in the middle of the nonsense about a professional football team not having a kicker and having Walter Payton's son fill in. Also too, 'objectionable conduct"? Oh, Canada...

finally found that copy of my prom picture

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Bacteria and the end of life as we know it

But a billion years of bacterial evolutionary progress was soon stunted by a catastrophic global event. Geologists find no signs of a great meteor impact nor a volcanic eruption, but they have uncovered the unmistakable geologic scars of rapid worldwide climate change. Average temperatures, which were previously comparable to our present climate, plummeted to minus 50 degrees Celsius and brought the planet into its first major ice age. This environmental shift triggered a massive die-off which threatened to extinguish all life on Earth, and paleoclimatologists have good reason to believe that this world-changing event was unwittingly caused by some of the planet's own humble residents: bacteria.
The period in history is known as the Paleoproterozoic era, and prior to that time the Earth's ecology and environment were significantly different. The iron-rich waters of the oceans lent them a green tint, and the atmosphere was comprised of gasses other than oxygen. Although oxygen atoms were abundant, such as those found in water molecules, unbound oxygen was extremely rare. The sea was host to a plethora of anaerobic microorganisms, but there were also a few members of a newly evolved variety: a blue-green algae known as cyanobacteria. These adapted bacteria were the first to use water and sunlight for photosynthesis, producing oxygen as a by-product of their metabolism.

The cyanobacteria were a struggling minority at first, but scientists believe that these new microbes began to dominate with the help of meltwater from a few glaciers scattered across the young continents. These glaciers spent centuries scraping across the Earth collecting minerals, ultimately depositing their rich nutrient payloads into the oceans. The cyanobacteria flourished in the presence of the increased minerals, and the rapidly growing population was soon venting increasingly large amounts of its poisonous waste oxygen into the environment.
How Bacteria Nearly Destroyed All Life

A little scary

Ok, a lot scary: The U.S. National Debt Clock: Real Time

3E Presents: Worst Crap on the Internet #1 Part 3: Even More Drawings.










Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Rule changes

There have been a couple of those "rule changes we'd like to see" type of articles floating around in this never-ending off-season. I've been thinking about the same thing, partly inspired by Auburn's embarrassing decision to reject a game with UCLA. So I jotted down a few ideas.

You'll notice, in the list below, that several of my suggestion don't involve the actual on-the-field game. I think that part works pretty well. What we need are bigger, structural changes. Here are some changes I'd like to see the NCAA make for college football:

-Go back to the old clock rules.

-Go back to the old face mask penalty rules.

-Require color-on-color uniforms when possible, allowing white jerseys only when a team designates white as their home uniform color or when the colors match so closely as to make it impossible to easily distinguish the teams during play.

-Make defensive pass interference a spot foul.

-Either make replay work in a time limit (there's no reason it can't be done in 30 seconds) or switch to having coach's challenges. I think the challenge would work better -- give each coach three challenge time-outs, and if the challenge stands, keep the time-out. Also, if a team is out of time-outs, give a challenge on any play that scores points, but a missed challenge in that case is a 15-yard penalty and a loss of down against the offense or a 15-yard penalty on the kick-off against the defense.

-For the purposes of determining bowl eligibility, any home game that does not involve a scheduled return game to the opposing team's stadium or a neutral site cannot count as a win. If a team schedules such a game and then breaks the contract, that team receives a loss in the season said game was scheduled.

-For the purposes of determining bowl eligibility, all games against Football Championship Subdivision (formerly known as "1-AA") teams will count as a loss.

-Eliminate overtime and bring back tie games.

-Go back to the old bowl system and eliminate all conference tie-ins except for the Sugar, Rose, Orange, and Fiesta Bowls.

-Have a sixty-second TV time-out at the 8-minute mark of each quarter and a two-minute TV time-out between each quarter. Besides that, the game keeps moving (excluding, of course, stopping play as a result of injury, fights, power outages, etc).

why would you lie about anything at all?