Vanderbilt at Missouri (-20): hard not to get excited about this one
Kentucky at Florida (-23.5): Florida seems good, thinking about a play-off bid, and such
Auburn (+24.5) at Alabama (-24.5): Gonna suck
Miss St at Old Mist (-9.5): Kiffypoo seems like the kind of guy to take a rivalry game seriously.
LSU at TAMU (-14): Been a weird season, and while I expected LSU to not be as good as last year, their badness has been a weird part of it.
Georgia (-21.5) at South Carolina: In a game between two games who seemed to have given up, I guess I go with the talent. O/U on this one is pretty funny.
BUXBUXBUXBUXBUXBUXBUXBUX
{v}402.06 and this week the HELLWORLD rules about 1/4 going toward an underdog, that's really tough. Have we done -110 vig for over/unders? I feel like we do.
GIMME {v}100.52 on Mississippi State +250 to win {v}253.80
GIMME {v}110 on Kentucky-Florida over 61 to win {v}100
GIMME {v}110 on Florida -23.5 to win {v}100
GIMME {v}91.54 on Auburn-Alabama under 62.5 to win {v}83.52
Takes his shoes off at the door to reveal charming printed socks: 2-4 (24-25)
Tracks mud on his Crocs into the dining room where the fancy rug is: 4-2 (30-19)
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
In a truly garbage year, "rivalry week" features almost entirely double-digit lines and stupid games.
Vanderbilt +800 at Missouri (-20) -1600 (T:51.5)
Kentucky +1000 at Florida (-23.5) -2000 (T:61)
Auburn +1100 at Alabama (-24.5) -2500 (T:62.5)
Miss St +250 at Old Mist (-9.5) -325 (T:67.5)
LSU +375 at TAMU (-14) -560 (T:63)
Georgia -1400 (-21.5) at South Carolina +800 (T:49)
: ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
A sickly weakling, mewling and wallowing in disease: {v}402.06
A healthy tough man excreting antibodies and vitamin C: {v}641.18
Florida (-31.5) @ Vanderbilt: no
LSU (+1.5) @ Arkansas: LSU is falling apart but is also immensely talented.
Kentucky (+31) @ Alabama: That's a lot of points.
Tennessee @ Auburn (-10.5): Auburn is good again
Mississippi St. (+24.5) @ Georgia: Seems like this will be a weird one
Mizzou (-6.5) @ South Carolina: I may be reading too much into it, but South Carolina's got that "rats fleeing a ship" feel
{v}{v}{v}
You know, {v}315.34 seems like not a lot of covidbux.
I'll risk {v}78.84 on LSU over Arkansas to win {v}82.78
GIMME {v}236.50 on Alabama -6000 over Kentucky to win {v}3.94
LW (OA)
losing every game in a good way: 0-3 (26-17)
losing every game in the regular way: 0-3 (22-21)
Florida -5000 (-31.5) @ Vanderbilt +1550 (T:68)
LSU +105 @ Arkansas -125 (-1.5) (T:65)
Kentucky +1600 @ Alabama -6000 (-31) (T:58.5)
Tennessee +285 @ Auburn -370 (-10.5) (T:49.5)
Mississippi St. +1025 @ Georgia -2300 (-24.5) (T:44.5)
Mizzou -230 (-6.5) @ South Carolina +190 (T:54.5)
{v}{v}{v}
More with less: {v}315.34
Less with more: {v}688.98
good god man, what is this week two of a normal season
Kentucky -18
Arkansas +17
South Carolina +11
A mediocre slate of games becomes truly objectionable.
Vanderbilt at Kentucky (-18): Vanderbilt is not very good.
Arkansas (+17) at Florida: That guy got laid up with the Rona
South Carolina (+11) at Ole Miss: Do for the Champ
---------------------------------
A solid week last outing means I have {v}373.09 to go bust with. But I don't see a lot of value this week.
GIMME {v}94 on South Carolina +260 to win {v}244.40
GIMME {v}279.09 Florida -770 to win {v}36.25
A good guy: 1-3 (22-18)
He should cry: 2-2 (26-14)
---------------------------------
Three Four games postponed at press time (when I press my shirts). These are the remainders (math term):
Georgia -500 (-13.5) at Missouri +400 (T:48)
Vanderbilt +600 at Kentucky -900 (-18) (T:42)
Arkansas +525 at Florida -770 (-17) (T:62.5)
Accepting the results of a free and fair election: {v}741.98
Georgia -3.5
Vanderbilt +19.5
South Carolina +10
Tennessee -1.5
1. {v}438.14 on Georgia -160 wins {v}273.84
2. {v}296.66 on Florida +140 wins {v}415.32
Add it up! You know I'm gonna have {v}711.98 plus WILD CARDS!!!!
WILD CARD: {v}5.00 ON Vanderbilt +650 WINS {v}32.50
WILD CARD: {v}10.00 ON SOUTH CAROLINA +280 WINS {v}28.00
WILD CARD: {v}15.00 ON ARKANSAS +100 WINS {v}15.00
Lightning Fast Downloadin: 4-2 (24-12)
Frightening, Vast Clown Votin: 3-3 (21-15)
Florida +140 vs Georgia -160 (-3.5) T:52.5
Vanderbilt +650 @ Mississippi St. -1100 (-19.5) T:46.5
TAMU -360 (-10) @ South Carolina +280 T:58.5
Tennessee -120 (-1.5) @ Arkansas +100 T:52.5
The King of Elfland's Daughter by Lord Dunsany: {v}175.91
The King of Elfland's Daughter by Lord Dunsany, but worse somehow: {v}764.80
not only am i very stupid, i'm also extremely dumb
Georgia -15
LSU -3
Old Mist -17
Alabama -32
Arkansas +12
Mizzou +13.5
1. {v}452.64 on LSU -145 wins {v}312.16
2. {v}339.91 on Auburn +125 wins {v}424.89
Regardless of the outcome, I have {v}764.80 plus:
3. {v}2.00 on Kentucky +450 wins {v}9.00
4. {v}7.00 on Vanderbilt +525 wins {v}36.75
5. {v}1.00 on Mississippi St. +4000 wins {v}40.00
6. {v}20.00 on Arkansas +325 wins {v}65.00
7. {v}20.00 on Mizzou +375 wins {v}75.00
Georgia (-15) at Kentucky: Georgia is way better than Auburn, who beat Kentucky by 16 points
LSU at Auburn (+3): but not winning!
Old Mist at Vanderbilt (+17): I don't know. Ole Miss and Miss State are not teams I would bet on this year.
Mississippi State at Alabama (-32): A team in decline
Arkansas (+12) at Texas A&M: sure
Missouri at Florida (-13.5): dude I have no idea how to pick this game. Florida is a lot better but has been in isolation. Rested or out of sync? Missouri is getting better but is still a bad team. I don't know.
______________________________________________
Spending {v}144.85
GIMME {v}44.85 on AUBURN +125 to win {v}56.06
GIMME {v}75 on ALABAMA -10000 to win a measly {v}.75
GIMME {v}25 on Arkansas-Tamu going UNDER 54.5
LAST WEEK (OVERALL)
A Classy Handmade Costume with a Clever Twist: 2-2 (18-12)
Dollar Store "Slutty Barber" Costume: 3-1 (20-10)
______________________________________________________________
I "witch" none of these games would happen!
Ghoulgia -700 (-15) at Caramel Corntucky +450 (T:42.5)
LS-boo! -145 (-3) at Auburn +125 (T:65)
Scary Old Mist -850 (-17) at Vampderbilt +525 (T:62)
Hiss-issippi State +4000 at Ala-boo!-ma -10000 (-32) (T:64)
Arkanskulls +325 at Texas Fangs&Skin -450 (-12) (T:54.5)
Miss-wolf-i +375 at Floridenstein's Monster -550 (-13.5) (T:61.5)
______________________________________________________________
Losing Money Slowly: {v}842.55
Bleeding Bux Like a John Wick Antagonist: {v}144.85
Hopefully I won't be at work this week so I can watch Auburn faff about and lose.
Old Mist +3
Alabama -21
Kentuckums -5
LSU -6.5
{v}{v}{v}
1 and 2 give me a guaranteed {v}760.05 plus whatever else I get from the rest.
1. {v}522.53 on LSU -220 wins {v}237.52
2. {v}262.09 on SC +190 wins {v}497.96
3. {v}69.00 on Old Mist +135 wins {v}93.15
4. {v}1.00 on Tennessee +870 wins {v}8.70
5. {v}30.00 on Mizzou +175 wins {v}52.50
Apparently I'm picking all favorites this week. That seems unreliable. To be good at this Pick Them in the future, I need to find a set of tools and techniques for process improvement, improving the quality of my output by removing the causes of defects.
Auburn (-3) @ Old Mist: not Six Sigma certified (fails to achieve stable and predictable process results)
Alabama (-21) @ Tennessee: Six Sigma Black Belt (achieving sustained quality improvement)
Kentucky (-5) @ Mizzou: not Lean Six Sigma certified (fails to systematically remove waste)
South Carolina @ LSU (-6.5): not Six Sigma certified (no clear commitment to decision-making based on statistical methods and empirical data, rather than assumptions and guesswork)
___________________________________
a very thin bankroll! not good!
GIMME {v}20.00 on Auburn/Old Mist going UNDER 70.5
GIMME {v}100.00 on Old Mist +135
GIMME {v}100.00 on Alabama -1500
Terribly sorry about all of this.
LW (O)
Time to Dier: 3-2 (17-9)
Budd to Dwyer: 2-3 (16-10)
Auburn -155 (-3) @ Old Mist +135 T:70.5
Alabama -1500 (-21) @ Tennessee +870 T:65.5
Kentucky -205 (-5) @ Mizzou +175 T:46.5
South Carolina who beat Auburn +190 @ LSU who will soon beat Auburn -220 (-6.5) T:55
{v}{v}{v}
Fine Fountain Pen: {v}220.00
Wine (Discount Bin): {v}884.62
Auburn (-3) at South Carolina: This game will be 27-23, Auburn.
Kentucky (+6) at Tennessee: But not winning!
Old Mist (-3) at Arkansas: Seems like a total (77) designed to trick me.
TAMU (-6.5) at Mississississippi State: sure
thUGA at Alabama (-6): I hope they cancel this one too
______________
COVIDBUX
______________
A mere {v}362.25.
GIMMER {v}100 on ARKANSAS +120
GIMMER {v}100 on Auburn at South Carolina UNDER 51.5
GIMMER {v}162.25 on Kentucky at Tennessee OVER 46
Read Em And Weep (from COVID)
Auburn -3
Tennessee -6
Arkansas +3
TAMU -6.5
Georgia +6
{v}{v}{v}
Oh this is nasty. Regardless of the outcome in the very awful Auburn game, I will have {v}760.62 plus whatever I can scrounge up from the rest of this garbage.
1. {v}468.07 on Auburn -160 wins {v}292.55
2. {v}316.93 on South Carolina +140 wins {v}443.69
3. {v}20.00 on Kentucky +190 wins {v}38.00
4. {v}30.00 on Arkansas +120 wins {v}36.00
5. {v}10.00 on Mississippi St. +210 wins {v}21.00
6. {v}40.00 on UGA +190 wins {v}76.00
A gentleman and a scholar: 3-4 (14-7)
This simpleton makes you holler: 5-2 (14-7)
__________________________________
What is a week? We just don't know.
Auburn -160 (-3) at South Carolina +140 (T: 51.5)
Kentucky +190 at Tennessee -220 (-6) (T:46)
LSU +425 at Florida -600 (-13) (T:71)
Old Mist -140 (-3) at Arkansas +120 (T:77)
TAMU -250 (-6.5) at Mississississippi State +210 (T:54.5)
Vanderbilt +820 at Missouri -1600 (-20) (T:49)
thUGA +190 at Alabama -230 (-6) (T:57)
__________________________________
COVIDBUX
Tinker: {v}885
Tailor: {v}362.25
It's been a season, folks.
Florida (-6.5) @ TAMU: so what
South Carolina (-13) @ Vanderbilt : unimportant
Tennessee @ Georgia (-13): meaningless
Arkansas @ Auburn (-16.5): who cares
Alabama @ Old Mist (+24): not gonna watch
Mississippi St. @ Kentucky (-2.5): why even play
Mizzou (+20.5) @ LSU (-20.5): why bother
____________________covid bux__________________
{v}419.38 to spend, huh
gimme {v}110 on Mississippi State straight up baby
gimme {v}109.38 on Auburn (-850)
gimme {v}200 on Georgia (-500)
I'm going to the beach! Surf's up! Time for some Beach Boys facts!
Florida -6.5 The Beach Boys were formed when Roger Waters and Nick Mason met while studying architecture at the London Polytechnic, Regent Street.
Vanderbilt +13 I'm already done with the bit where I post facts about Pink Floyd rather than the Beach Boys.
Georgia -13 So I guess some beach facts?
Arkansas +16.5 Beaches are made of sand, water, and sea shells.
Alabama -24 Seagulls can live to be 100 years old. They are the wise keepers of the briny deeps.
Mississippi St. +2.5 There is no beach more famous than Party Beach.
Mizzou +20.5 The beach is a land of contrasts.
{v}{v}{v}
I took the liberty of rounding somewhat unconventionally so that no matter what happens in the Florida/TAMU game, I will have {v}672.50 plus whatever I can get from the rest of those losers down there.
{v}477.58 on Florida -245 wins {v}194.92
{v}220.49 on TAMU +205 wins {v}452.01
{v}10.00 on Vanderbilt +350 wins {v}35.00
{v}5.00 on Tennessee +350 wins {v}17.50
{v}5.00 on Arkansas +525 wins {v}26.25
{v}5.00 on Old Mist +1000 wins {v}50.00 *jean ralphio voice* throowin moneey awaaaaaaay
{v}50.00 on Mississippi St. +115 wins {v}57.50
{v}25.00 on Mizzou +750 wins {v}187.50
Last Week (Broverall):
Lucky Boy: 7-0 baby (11-3)
Fond of Soy: 5-2 baby (9-5)
All of these games are definitely happening.
Florida -245 (-6.5) @ TAMU +205 (T:59)
South Carolina -500 (-13) @ Vanderbilt +350 (T:42.5)
Tennessee +350 @ Georgia (-13) -500 (T:43.5)
Arkansas +525 @ Auburn (-16.5) -850 (T:48.5)
Alabama -2200 (-24) @ Old Mist +1000 (T:72.5 lol)
Mississippi St. +115 @ Kentucky (-2.5) -135 (T:58.5)
Mizzou +750 @ LSU (-20.5) -1400 (T:55)
{v}{v}{v}
Captain Bux: {v}798.08
Aw Shucks: {v}419.38
South Carolina +18 at Florida: Seems high
Missouri at Tennessee (-11): man I don't know. Seems like Missouri is plummeting.
TAMU at Alabama (-17): lmao
Old Mist at Kentucky (-6.5): Kentucky is pretty good.
Auburn +6.5 at UGA: NO DOUBT that Auburn loses 13-9.
LSU (-20) at Vanderbilt: Gonna be mad
Arkansas (+17.5) at Mississippi State: Classic hangover effect.
____________________________________________________
Got 781.25CB.
GIMME 400CB on Auburn +210 vs. UGA
GIMME 381.25CB on Alabama -1000 vs TAMU
Today's theme is different kinds of, oh let's say fish.
South Carolina +18 Pufferfish
Tennessee -11 Catfish
Alabama -17 Can't think of any
Old Mist +6.5
Georgia -6.5
LSU -20
Arkansas +17.5 Fish Sandwich
{v}{v}{v}
This may look like nonsense and it is. But on the other hand, it is the exact opposite of nonsense. Regardless of who wins the OldMist/Can'tucky game, I will have {v}678.08 plus whatever I can snag from picking all the other underdogs. I even threw some chartreuse (the color of printed COVIDBUX) on Auburn because I am special (the bad way).
{v}466.18 on Kentucky -220 wins {v}211.90
{v}233.82 on Old Mist +190 wins {v}444.26
{v}10.00 on South Carolina +650 wins {v}65.00
{v}10.00 on Mizzou +390 wins {v}39.00
{v}5.00 on TAMU +650 wins {v}32.50
{v}5.00 on Auburn +210 wins {v}10.50
{v}5.00 on Vandy +900 wins {v}45.00
{v}15.00 on Arkansas +700 wins {v}105.00
LW (OA):
A Monument to America's Heroes: 4-3
A Monument to America's Zeroes: 4-3
-----------------------------------------------------------------
This week's ridiculous contests:
South Carolina +650 at Florida -1000 (-18) (T:57)
Missouri +390 at Tennessee -550 (-11) (T:48.5)
TAMU +650 at Alabama -1000 (-17) (T:52)
Old Mist +190 at Kentucky -220 (-6.5) (T:62)
Auburn +210 at UGA -250 (-6.5) (T:44.5)
LSU -1600 (-20) at Vanderbilt +900 (T:48)
Arkansas +700 at Mississippi State -1100 (-17.5) (T:70)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
COVID BOOKIE:
OH MAN THERE'S BEEN A MASS DEVALUATION OF COVIDBUX SUCH THAT 1 BILLION COVIDBUX IS NOW WORTH 1000 COVIDBUX WHOA WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED AS SUCH
BIG CAPTAIN: 750CB
LITTLE CAPTAIN: 781.25CB
Foots A-Ballin!
Old Mist +14.5 It's 2008 all over again, baby.
Kentucky +7.5 It's 2009 all over again, baby.
Mississippi St. +16.5 The score will be 17-3.
Georgia -26 What on earth am I supposed to do with this?
Mizzou +27 See above.
TAMU -30.5 See above.
Tennessee -3.5 Muschamp would be fired after this season were it not for the humble disease we all know as Covet-19. Maybe he will be fired anyway. We'll just have to wait and see.
{v}{v}{v} (fake) money money moooneeey (fake) MONAAAAY {v}{v}{v}
1. {v}722,222,222.22 on Owl-Obama at -2600. Wins {v}27,777,777.78.
2. {v}277,777,777.78 on Owl-Kentucky at +260. Wins {v}722,222,222.22.
Mizzou/Auburn: {v}0.00
Bama/Auburn: {v}750,000,000.00
Mizzou/Kentucky: {v}1,000,000,000.00
Bama/Kentucky: {v}1,750,000,000.00
pretty quotidian season imo
NOT!!!!
In these wild and uncertain times, this part of the pick-off will be our rock... our unshifting firmament. You know what to do!
Florida (-14.5) @ Old Mist
Kentucky @ Auburn (-7.5)
Mississippi St. @ LSU (-16.5)
Georgia (-26) @ Arkansas
Alabama (-27) @ Mizzou
Vanderbilt @ TAMU (-30.5)
Tennessee (-3.5) @ South Carolina
$$$ THE MONEY THING $$$ AKA THE NICE BOOKIE $$$
this part of the pick-off is going to be "xtrakrzy."
YOU START WITH ONE BILLION COVIDBUX ({v}1,000,000,000.00). EACH WEEK YOU MUST WAGER 100% OF YOUR COVIDBUX, AT LEAST 25% OF WHICH MUST BE WAGERED ON AN SEC UNDERDOG TO WIN STRAIGHT UP. NOTHING IS SACRED AND WE ARE NOT GUARANTEED TOMORROW. HELL WORLD IS REAL. WELCOME TO HELL WORLD.
