It is getting so spook-dang spooky

Mississippi State +6 vs Arkansas: sure

South Carolina vs Missouri -7: Missouri seems to be peaking

Tennessee +8.5 vs Alabama: Feels like a game that's going to be lower scoring than predicted

Old Mist -6.5 vs Auburn : Look for me at the game; I'll be wearing orange and blue.

Army vs LSU -30.5: ???

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

The two games I feel most confident about are Missouri and Old Mist. Since Old Mist is on the road, that means Missourah. 

Gimme {v}151.24 on Missouri -275, to win {v}55

Gimme {v}48.40 on South Carolina vs Missouri going over 59.5, to win {v}44

"Lines are the building blocks of geometry"

Mississippi State +210 vs Arkansas -275, -6 T:48.5

South Carolina +220 vs Missouri -275, -7 T:59.5

Tennessee +275 vs Alabama -350, -8.5 T:49

Old Mist -250, -6.5 vs Auburn +200 T:56.5

Army +2000 vs LSU -15000, -30.5 T:57.5

I'm Dealing With It.

311: 3-3 (23-32-1); {v}618.49

Crazy Town: 1-5 (29-26-1); {v}904.13

When was the last time October 13th was a Friday? The answer is simple: last year and every year before that. Spooky Season.

Some of these seem very wrong!

Georgia -31.5

Alabama -19.5

Florida +2.5

TAMU +3.5

Auburn +11.5

Kentucky -2.5

{v}

1. {v}163.65 on LSU -400 to win {v}40.91

2. {v}40.91 on Florida +110 to win {v}45.00

Spookiness intensifies

I'm now inspired to call my picks "the pearl of the Gulf." These picks are "the pearl of the Gulf."

Georgia vs. Vanderbilt +31.5: Seems like a lot

Arkansas vs Alabama -19.5: Recently learned that the Pit Man's buyout halves if he has a career record below .500. He is currently 21-21, with some tough sledding ahead. You'd think that would make me pick Arkansas, but no. 

Florida +2.5 vs South Carolina: Is it more weird that Florida is an underdog to South Carolina, or more weird that it's not that surprising?

Texas A&M vs Tennessee -3.5: I originally wrote "that pudgy freak better not let me down this time," but I realize that doesn't really clarify which head coach I am talking about.  

Auburn +11.5 vs LSU: I like Auburn coming off an off week, but not enough to pick them. 

Missouri +115 vs Kentucky -140, -2.5 T:52.5: spooky

:(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   

Not working with a lot of bux. 

Gimme {v}126 on Tennessee -3.5 vs. TAMU, to win {v}114.55.

"an infinitely long object with no width, depth, or curvature"

Georgia -20000, -31.5 vs. Vanderbilt +2200 T:55.5

Arkansas +700 vs Alabama -1100, -19.5 T:46.5

Florida +110 vs South Carolina -135, -2.5 T:51.5

Texas A&M +145 vs Tennessee -175, -3.5 T:55.5

Auburn Tigers +310 vs LSU -400, -11.5 T:60.5

Missouri +115 vs Kentucky -140, -2.5 T:52.5

Living La Veed of Loca aka Pobody's Nerfect in New Orleans

I found a pearl in an oyster. Do not bite a pearl.

Bruce Pearl: 1-5 (20-29-1); {v}503.94

Pearl from MST3K: 4-2 (28-21-1); {v}818.22

oh man if it ain't the dang old spooky season

I realized this morning that it would have been funny to include the Red River Shootout on the list of conference games.

LSU vs. Missouri +6.5: Feels like another barnburner

Western Michigan vs. Mississippi State -20.5: who cares

Alabama -2.5 vs. Texas A&M: Not buying it

Vanderbilt +18 vs. Florida: If Florida lost to Vanderbilt, would Louisiana Billy make it to the end of the season? 

Kentucky +14.5 vs. Georgia: I think we're looking at a 20-10 kind of score here. 

Arkansas vs. Old Mist -11.5: It's weird about Sam Pittman, because Arkansas fans seem to love him, but also they seem to think he's not a good coach and want him gone. 

{v}{v}{v}

Betting time: guh! Working with {v}497.27. Time to go dumber.

Gimme {v}300 on Old Mist -450, to win {v}66.67

Gimme {v}60 on Missouri +200, to win {v}120

Picks! Ahhhhh!

Doin' the old "Charlie Robot." All favorites, baby.

LSU -6.5

Mississippi St. -20.5

Alabama -2.5

Florida -18

Georgia -14.5

Old Mist -11.5

{v}

Terrible thing to do here. Reprehensible.

1. {v}119.33 on Alabama -140 to win {v}85.23

2. {v}85.23 on TAMU +120 to win {v}102.28

"Lines are fundamental elements in geometry and the basis for understanding shapes and space."

LSU -6.5, -240 vs. Missouri +200 T:63.5

Western Michigan +900 vs. Mississippi State -20.5, -1500 T:58.5

Alabama -2.5, -140 vs. Texas A&M +120 T:49.5

Vanderbilt +625 vs. Florida -18, -950 T:54.5

Kentucky +475 vs. Georgia -14.5, -650 T:47.5

Arkansas +350 vs. Old Mist -11.5, -450 T:62.5

The opening credits of season 4 of succession have a water tower in them, getting my hopes up that the Animaniacs will somehow be involved

The Animaniacs from the show: 3-4 (19-24-1); {v}497.27

The Animaniacs convicted of "The Animaniacs Murders": 4-3 (24-19-1); {v}818.22

we are finally into just conference games and I for one couldn't be happier

Florida vs Kentucky -2.5: Extremely difficult to get a read on this one, mostly because I am ignorant and not particularly concerned.

Texas A&M vs Arkansas +6.5: It's been a long time since one of these games that you could call an easy win for either team.

Georgia -14.5 vs Auburn: Absolutely baffling line, implying that TAMU and Georgia are about the same.

Missouri -13.5 vs Vanderbilt: the classic SEC match up we all know and love

LSU -2.5 vs Old Mist: This is the kind of line, like UGA above, that makes me think I've missed something this season.

South Carolina +12.5 vs Tennessee: Beamer Ball Baby

Alabama -14 vs Mississippi State: no

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}YIKES BUDDY{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

Working with a slim {v}659.27. 

Gimme {v}247 on Georgia -650, to win {v}38

Gimme {v}200 on LSU -130, to win {v}153.85

*strutting and fretting my hour upon the stage* ok now you're going hear a tale told by a idiot

here's the sound:

Florida +2.5

TAMU -6.5

Georgia -14.5

Mizzou -13.5

LSU -2.5

Tennessee -12.5

Alabama -14

and here's the fury:

1. {v}177.67 on Georgia -650 to win {v}27.33

2. {v}27.33 on Florida +120 to win {v}32.80

but, honestly, what has this all meant?

"Every line is made up of points, which is the minimum unit."

Florida +120 vs Kentucky -145, -2.5 T:44

Texas A&M -250, -6.5 vs Arkansas T:55.5

Georgia -650, -14.5 vs Auburn +450 T: 47.5

Missouri -550, -13.5 vs Vanderbilt +400 T:56.5

LSU -130, -2.5 vs Old Mist +110 T:66.5

South Carolina +350 vs Tennessee -500, -12.5 T:63.5

Alabama -700, -14 vs Mississippi State +500 T:46.5

I need more MEAT. Don't know why I just typed that.

Brilliant, yet Sincere: 4-5 (16-20-1); {v}659.27

Counting Pennies to Buy Beer: 7-2 (20-16-1); {v}818.22

We can do this. We can pick more football games.

Oh no I almost forgot to do this

But I remembered!

Whew!

Kentucky -14

Auburn +7.5

Alabama -7

Tennessee -20.5

UNC Charlotte +28

LSU -17.5

Mizzou -6.5

UAB +42

South Carolina -6

{v}

1. {v}200.00 on LSU -900 to win {v}22.22

Another day, another dime, another pick, another line

I am in a hurry picking, so this will be my most thoughtless pick of the year so far--guaranteeing success. 

Kentucky -14 vs Vanderbilt 

Auburn +7.5 vs TAMU 

Old Mist vs Alabama -7 

UTSA +20 vs. Tennessee

Charlotte vs Florida -28 

Arkansas vs LSU -17.5 

Memphis vs. Missouri -6.5

UAB +42 vs. Georgia 

Mississippi State +6 vs. South Carolina 

{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}148.50 on Kentucky -550, to win {v}27

Gimme {v}50.60 on Auburn +7.5, to win {v}46

"A line is the path of one point that is moving."

Kentucky -550, -14 vs Vanderbilt +400 T:50.5

Auburn +240 vs TAMU -300, -7.5 T:52.5

Old Mist +210 vs Alabama -275, -7 T:56.5

UTSA +750 vs. Tennessee -1200, -20.5 T:57.5

Charlotte +1800 vs Florida -5000, -28 T49.5

Arkansas +600 vs LSU -900, -17.5 T:55.5

Memphis +190 vs. Missouri -250, -6.5 T:51.5

UAB +8000 vs. Georgia -10000, -42 T:53.5

Mississippi State +200 vs. South Carolina -250, -6 T:50.5

all of 3e can agree: it is incredibly fun to mindlessly repeat "baby billy's bible bonkers" to no one in particular

Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers: 4-6 (12-15-1); {v}682.87

I don't know, like... PJ Masks or something?: 5-5 (13-14-1); {v}796.00

Keep it up, boners!

Tha Captainz Week Three (wow season's really flying by huh) Pix

Spooky! 

Kansas St. -5.5  Vampire

LSU -10  Dracula

South Carolina +27.5  Frankenstein

UL Monroe +36.5  Wolfman

Vanderbilt -4.5  Mummy

Tennessee -7  Swamp Thing

Kentucky -25.5  Zombie

BYU +8.5  Skeleton

Georgia Tech +20.5  Expectations

{v}

1. {v}142.30 on LSU -375 to win {v}37.95

2. {v}20.00 on BYU +275 to win {v}55.00

3. {v}17.95 on Georgia Tech +750 to win {v}134.63

buddy you believe it's week three(e)

Kansas State (-5.5) vs Missouri: Missouri has already let me down, and you know what they say, Missouri loves company. 

LSU (-10) vs Mississippi State: Maybe LSU is still mad? 

South Carolina vs Georgia (-27.5): It's hard to be confident about poor Spencer Rattler in this game

Alabama (-32.5) vs South Florida: Definitely mad Alabama

Louisiana-Monroe vs Texas A&M (-36.5): Did you know that Terry Tot Bowden is the head coach at ULM? Good for him.

Vanderbilt (-4.5) vs. UNLV: wait, at UNLV? 

Tennessee (-7) vs Florida: Is this a low line? Am I crazy? 

Akron vs Kentucky (-25.5): No way Kentucky looks as bad this week, right? 

BYU vs Arkansas (-8.5): man I don't know

Georgia Tech vs Old Mist (-20.5): This seems like the kind of game Lane either completely flops or runs away with.

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

THENICEBOOKIE

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

I'm trying some totals betting this week. 

GIMME {v}65 on LSU vs. Mississippi State going over 53.5, to win {v}59.09

GIMME {v}65 on Vanderbilt at UNLV going under 60.5, to win {v}59.09

GIMME {v}65 on on Tennessee (-250) beating Florida, to win {v}26

"a line is a one-dimension figure, which has length but no width"

Kansas State (-5.5, -200) vs Missouri (+165) T:48.5

LSU (-10, -375) vs Mississippi State (+290) T:53.5

South Carolina (+1800) vs Georgia (-27.5, -10000) T:54.5

Alabama (-32.5, -10000) vs South Florida (+2000) T: 61.5

Louisiana-Monroe (+2000) vs Texas A&M (-36.5, -10000) T:53.5

Vanderbilt (-4.5, -190) vs. UNLV (+155) T:60.5

Tennessee (-7, -250) vs Florida (+200) T:58.5

Akron (+1200) vs Kentucky (-25.5, -3000) T:49.5

BYU (+275) vs Arkansas (-8.5, -350) T:47.5

Georgia Tech (+750) vs Old Mist (-20.5, -1200) T:63.5

Bert & Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pan-Sexual Perverts is a onion thing i think about a lot

PAW Patrol: 3-5-1 (8-9-1); {v}753.78

Regular Dogs Squad: 4-4-1 (8-9-1); {v}721.00

yeeeesh!

It's funny... Starfield rhymes with Garfield... Now some Week 2 Picks

Week 2 reminds me of a story. When the MC Hammer song "2 Legit 2 Quit" came out I thought the lyrics were "2 the jit, 2 the jit 2 quit," believing that "the jit" was a place where MC Hammer was going to go and quit. Now, during this height of popularity we were given a school assignment that was something like "design a pro-reading flyer." Never one to miss out on a fad, I decided to make my flyer "2 the jit, 2 the jit 2 READ" ah see now the jit is a place one goes to curl up with a good book. Great flyer, Tha Captain!

Now, some of my less-stupid classmates pointed out that those are not the lyrics. So, not wanting to seem any more of a fool that I already did, I changed it to "2 legit, 2 legit 2 read" which is absolutely not what you want on a pro-reading flyer. Ah well. Keep at it, Cap'n.

I have no comment on any of these games, apparently.

Woke Forest -10

Ball State +42

Texas A&M -4.5

Old Mist -7.5

Kent State +37.5

Alabama -7

Mizzou -20.5

Arizona +10.5  

Auburn -6.5

{v}

{v}280.00 on Alabama -280 to win {v}100.00

think how this is going to work when Texas, Oklahoma, Florida State, Clemson, Virginia Tech, and Liberty are also in the SEC

Vanderbilt at Wake Forest (-10): Vandy: not great

Ball State at Georgia (-42): Absolutely sickening

Texas A&M at Miami (+4.5): I'm excited about this one because whoever loses is going to feel very bad about themselves.

Old Mist at Tulane (+7.5): I think Lane is taking them seriously, but Tulane is a good football team.

Kent State at Arkansas (-37.5): ok

Texas at Alabama (-7): The funniest outcome would be for Texas to win this game and the rest of September to start 5-0 and get to #3 in the country, then get blasted by Oklahoma and end up losing five of their last seven games.

Middle Tennessee State at Missouri (-20.5): Missouri seems roughly thirty points worse than Alabama, this makes sense. 

Arizona at Mississippi State (-10.5): Mississippi State is constantly playing games that make me say, "Oh, huh. Ok."

Auburn at Cal (+6.5): Verrrrrrry concerned about this one, kids. Feels like a 41-38 kind of game, and not the good way.

{v}{v}{v}THENICEBOOKIE{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}200 on Alabama (-280), to win {v}71.43

Gimme {v}200 on Wake Forest (-410), to win {v}48.78

Gimme {v}100 on Tulane (+275), to win {v}275

Week Two Presented by Poulan Weed-Eater

Vanderbilt (+320) at Wake Forest (-10, -410) T:57.5

Ball State (+8000) at Georgia (-42, -10000) T:52.5 

Texas A&M (-4.5, -205) at Miami (+170) T:51

Old Mist (-7.5, -345) at Tulane (+275) T:64

Kent State (+4000) at Arkansas (-37.5, -30000) T:57.5

Texas (+230) at Alabama (-7, -280)  T:56

Middle Tennessee State (+800) at Missouri (-20.5, -1300) T:49.5

Arizona (+320) at Mississippi State (-10.5, -410) T:60

Auburn (-6.5, -250) at Cal (+205) T:54.5

spooky season is here do not tell me it isn't

My kids picked out toy snakes and this is what they named them.

Whisker (you): 5-3 (5-4); {v}1,005.00

Animal Cracker (me): 4-4 (4-5); {v}1,001.00

Stranger Things. Let's start that this week. Week 1 is officially Stranger Things Week. Also every other week will be that. It's just how we do things 'round here.

oh this got out of hand

Florida +6.5  The native american johnny depp looking ass quarterback guy from utah is not playing. The line is like 4.5 now but both of those are more-than-a-field-goal-less-than-a-td. My point is that I'm very hungry.

Kentucky -25.5  Ball State is just a nickname. Their official name is Testicle State. Folks,

Virginia +27.5  Bronco "Bronck" Mendenhall is turning things around in Charlottesville. Okay, would everyone like to hear a largely pointless story? Don't care; story starting! So in fifth (5th) grade, the students at Thompson Elementary were treated to a trip to our nation's capital: Charlottesville, Va. Just kidding, I know the real capital is Richmond but we went to C-Vegas too. One of the big draws for that par-tick-ular hamlet is the birthplace of founding father (or as I call them the (democracy designing daddies (aka tha triple Ds)) Thomas Haley Jefferson: Monticello (pronounced in an offensively exaggerated Italian accent a-la Inglorious Basterds). Anyways, it's just a big stupid house where a bunch of slaves died but the real treat is that you can see a hill to the southwest. At the top of the hill stands some kind of building. See map below. Apparently the thing at the top of the hill (I know it's a 2D picture but the switchback road clearly suggests some sort of elevation change) is called "Montalto." Now, dear readers, as a naive and impressionable fifth (5th) grader I was told that "graduate students from UVA" lived there. Preposterous, I thought, as I watched a car traverse the winding path to the top. It seemed crazy at the time and it's something that haunts me to this day. The internet tells me that there is a wedding venue up there now and, hell, there may have been in 1993. I imagine the tour guide at Monticello mostly gets questions about where the slaves died and how many slaves died and how did the slaves die rather than "who lives at the top of that distant hill." Anyways, I learned a lot about democracy and how tour guides assume graduate students like living on mountains like dragons and trolls.

Auburn -34.5  Year 3 of the Harsin era or the "Renn-Harsin-ce" (Like Renaissance) as I and most of the people I talk to call it, gets off to a flying start. Minutemen? Yeah one minute is about how long it will take the patented "Har-fense" (Auburn's offense) scores some "Bryans" (points).

New Mexico +38.5  Jimbo probably wants to come out and show everyone how good his "24 points or bust" offense is.

South Carolina +2.5  Ol Head Ball Coach click clack

Alabama -40  Bryce Young is the best QB in cfb. Change my mind.

Florida St. +2.5  *badly mangles the seminole war chant* hiya humma hiya humma heap big football game

{v}

{v}500.00 on Alabama -50000 to win {v}1.00

The last real week one

Next year, the superconference era truly begins. And it's going to suck!

---

Florida (+6.5) at Utah: Utah's quarterback is out. This will probably be wrong!

Ball State at Kentucky (-25.5): Don't know. Don't care! 

Virginia at Tennessee (-27.5): I guess? Seems like Virginia should be a lot better at football than they are. 

UMass at Auburn (-34.5): lmao

New Mexico at TAMU (-38.5): picking a lot of favorites

North Carolina at South Carolina (+2.5): BBB--Beamer ball, baby

Middle Tennessee State at Alabama (-40): I am tired of doing the pick them now

LSU (-2.5,) vs. Florida State: This is a fun one

{v}{v}{v}THENICEBOOKIE{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}500 on Auburn -10000, to win {v}5.

hey buddy, here's some week one lines

We shall recover and glory.

Florida (+220) at Utah (-6.5, -270) T:45.5

Ball State (+1650) at Kentucky (-25.5, -6600) T:49.5

Virginia (+1800) at Tennessee (-27.5, -10000) T:56.5

UMass (+2000) at Auburn (-34.5, -10000) T:52.5

New Mexico (+4000) at TAMU (-38.5, -50000) T:48.5

North Carolina (-2.5, -135) at South Carolina (+115) T:64.5

Middle Tennessee State (+4000) at Alabama (-40, -50000) T:51.5

LSU (-2.5, -140) vs. Florida State (+120) T:56.5

We lost. We don't deserve to keep picking. Let's just see ourselves out, buddy.

Pathetic: 0-1 (0-1); {v}1000.00

Pathetic: 0-1 (0-1); {v}1000.00

Pathetic.

week 0 picks

The season is about to begin (meaning the season for harvesting cotton in the cotton field where I now work). I'm excited to begin the picking process (meaning picking cotton in the cotton field where I now work). I am also really looking forward to bowl season (meaning boll season, when it's time to harvest the cotton in the cotton field where I now work). 

Unrelated, a football pick:

• Hawai'i at Vanderbilt (-17.5) (T:55.5): Hawaii is a dreadful football team even if I do like Timmy Chang coming back

*creed voice* i've created i've created i've created i've created i've created my own prisuuhn

*stranger things voice* i've created i've created i've created i've created i've created my own prisuuhn 

no

ah well what with the wildfires and all you really can only see this going one way. i will figure out what way that is in a little bit.

Vanderbilt -17.5

my analysis of this is that each player on each team deserves a new car. but all the same car. a fleet of shitty corrolas to herald the arrival of the commodores and rainbow warriors.

*creed voice* stranger things

this was AI. this is where we're going.

SEC PICK OFF BEGINS

The usual rules: 

• all picks are against the Vegas line
• starting with {v}1000, must bet at least 25% percent of your bank
• picks are due by 5:00 pm Central Time on Thursdays

The first picks of the year will be great ones:

Hawai'i at Vanderbilt (-17.5) (T:55.5) 

wow!

games

1. Lost for Swords, great

2. Starlynx, it's fine, missed a chance to call it StarFaux

3. TrioJam, good

4. Shogun Showdown, not bad

5. Ten Minutes till Dawn, is there a name for these kinds of games? I like them

heard this playing in an uber recently

Middle name: Toussaint L'Ouverture

Baby shooter games

 I'm not sure why this series reminds me of The Captain, but it does.

1. Gears of Babies

2. The Patriots

3. Wounded Summer

4. The Irish Baby Rifleman

"But then again, no"

there's a new Napoleon movie coming out

It doesn't look great, but this does.

We've got a wham, bam, shang-a-lang

Let 'em say we're crazy I don't care about that

(bubble sound) Pop Up Video: Lady Singer Songwriter Edition

It's a Kaleida Covers Friday

let's have some games

1. Die in the Dungeon - very good

2. Tiny Islands - good

3. Six-Sided Streets - pretty good

4. Flooded Caves - neat

5. Pelagium - good but gets tiring, needs a "win or keep playing?" mechanic

City idle

Great game.

Well, I never been to heaven / But I been to Oklahoma

Been on a 3DN kick lately.

Very compelling kind of a figure. Odd-looking duck, but there's something about his eyes. Hypnotic.

Contractually obligated



RIP Norm, we love you

Don't clash with the Titan who blast with a license

cannot believe the Deep State is moving against the patriot's true president

3/11 3:11 311

Everyone is helpful/ Everyone is kind / On the road to Shambala

better late than never actually no, this was a mistake shoulda just left it alone

 whatever!

Wakan Tanka, tunkasila

not an official scoreboard

it's gonna be a funky new year

Here's the song that sums up my approach to the Bowl Pick Them

Praise the Lord and pass the scotch

VERY SPECIAL: I'M JUST GOING TO KEEP DOING THESE EVERY DAY UNTIL THEY MAKE ME NOT COME TO WORK EDITION

 

hey bro i noticed your plot thickening

 

HEY WHY NOT ANOTHER SCORE BOARD

 *GONG CRASH*

*gong crash*

 

if you ask me, 2022 has been nothing but CRISES but what do i know

Your pick is first because they will come in first place (win the game).

12/16

Cure: Troy v UTSA

12/17

New Mexico: SMU v BYU

12/20

Boca Raton: Toledo v Li-bear-ty

12/23

Gasparilla: Mizzou v Wake Forest

12/27

Guaranteed Rate: Oklahoma St. v Wisconsin

12/29

Alamo: Texas v Washington

12/30

Gator: South Carolina v Notre Dame

Arizona: Ohio v Wyoming

Orange: Tennessee v Clemson

1/2

Reliaquest (you aren't fooling anybody, reliaquest, this is the outback bowl): Mississippi St v Illinois

Cotton: Tulane v USC

---

Here are all the games ranked by POWER POINTS. Everyone knows what POWER POINTS are by now.

For all games, the winner that would benefit you is listed first. For CRISES that's pretty clear. For agreed games: if you have more points on the line, a shared win benefits you so our mutual pick is listed first. If I have more wagered, you benefit if we lose. For agreed games, our mutual pick is italicized.

1. Gator - 68 - South Carolina v Notre Dame

2. Orange - 61 - Tennessee v Clemson

3. Outback - 50 - Mississippi St. v Illinois

4. Guaranteed Rate - 37 - Oklahoma St. v Wisconsin

5. Cotton - 36 - Tulane v USC

6. Alamo - 35 - Texas v Washington

7. Military - 30 - UCF v Duke

8. Myrtle Beach - 28 - UConn v Marshall

9. Arizona - 27 - Ohio v Wyoming

10. Boca Raton - 26 - Toledo v Li-Bear-Ty

10. Cheez-It - 26 - Oklahoma v Florida St.

10. Peach - 26 - Georgia v Ohio St.

13. New Mexico - 24 - SMU v BYU

14. LendingTree - 23 - Rice v Southern Miss

14. Camellia - 23 - Buffalo v Georgia Southern

16. Armed Forces - 21 - Air Force v Baylor

17. Frisco - 18 - North Texas v Boise St.

17. Independence - 18 - UL Lafayette v Houston

19. Gasparilla - 18 - Mizzou v Wake Forest

20. LA - 15 - Washington St. v Fresno St.

21. Potato - 12 - EMU v San Jose St.

21. Pinstripe - 12 - Syracuse v Minnesota

21. Sun - 12 - UCLA v Pitt

24. Bahamas - 11 - Miami OH v UAB

24. Li-Bear-Ty - 11 - Arkansas v Liberty

26. Las Vegas - 10 - Florida v Oregon St.

26. New Orleans - 10 - South Alabama v WKU

28. Cure - 8 - Troy v UTSA

28. Music City - 8 - Kentucky v Iowa

38. Rose - 8 - Penn St. v Utah

31. Hawaii - 7 - San Diego St. v MTSU

31. Quick Lane - 7 - Bowling Green v New Mexico St.

31. Texas - 7 - Old Mist v Texas Tech

31. Mayonnaise - 7 - NC St v Maryland

35. Citrus - 6 - Purdue v LSU

36. Birmingham - 5 - ECU v Coastal Carolina

36. Sugar - 5 - Alabama v Kansas St.

38. Fiesta - 4 - Michigan v TCU

39. Holiday - 2 - Oregon v North Carolina

40. Fenway - 1 - Cincinnati v Louisville

40. 1st Responder - 1 - Utah St. v Memphis

And in those days shall men seek Bowl Picks, and shall not find them; and shall desire to Pick Bowls, and Picks shall flee from them

BAHAMAS BOWL (at Nassau, Bahamas)

21 UAB vs. Miami (Ohio), 11:30 a.m., ESPN

 

CURE BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)

2 Troy vs. No. 25 UTSA, 3 p.m., ESPN

 

FENWAY BOWL (at Boston)

6 Louisville vs. Cincinnati, 11 a.m., ESPN

 

LAS VEGAS BOWL

5 Oregon State vs. Florida, 2:30 p.m., ESPN

 

L.A. BOWL (at Inglewood, Calif.)

24 Fresno State vs. Washington State, 3:30 p.m., ABC

 

LENDINGTREE BOWL (at Mobile, Ala.)

10 Southern Miss vs. Rice, 5:45 p.m., ESPN

 

NEW MEXICO BOWL (at Albuquerque, N.M.)

20 SMU vs. BYU, 7:30 p.m., ABC

 

FRISCO BOWL (at Frisco, Texas)

22 Boise State vs. North Texas, 9:15 p.m., ESPN

 

MYRTLE BEACH BOWL (at Conway, S.C.)

11 Marshall vs. UConn, 2:30 p.m., ESPN

 

FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO BOWL (at Boise, Idaho)

12 San Jose State vs. Eastern Michigan, 3:30 p.m., ESPN

 

BOCA RATON BOWL (at Boca Raton, Fla.)

19 Toledo vs. Liberty, 7:30 p.m., ESPN

 

NEW ORLEANS BOWL

23 South Alabama vs. Western Kentucky, 9 p.m., ESPN

ARMED FORCES BOWL (at Fort Worth, Texas)

4 Baylor vs. Air Force, 7:30 p.m., ESPN

 

INDEPENDENCE BOWL (at Shreveport, La.)

13 Houston vs. Louisiana-Lafayette, 3 p.m., ESPN

 

GASPARILLA BOWL (at Tampa, Fla.)

1 Wake Forest vs. Missouri, 6:30 p.m., ESPN

 

HAWAII BOWL (at Honolulu)

25 San Diego State vs. Middle Tennessee, 8 p.m., ESPN

 

QUICK LANE BOWL (at Detroit)

3 Bowling Green vs. New Mexico State, 2:30 p.m., ESPN

 

CAMELLIA BOWL (at Montgomery, Ala.)

7 Georgia Southern vs. Buffalo, noon, ESPN

FIRST RESPONDER BOWL (at Dallas)

18 Memphis vs. Utah State, 3:15 p.m., ESPN

 

BIRMINGHAM BOWL

17 East Carolina vs. Coastal Carolina, 6:45 p.m., ESPN

 

GUARANTEED RATE BOWL (at Phoenix)

8 Wisconsin vs. Oklahoma State, 10:15 p.m., ESPN

 

MILITARY BOWL (at Annapolis, Md.)

38 Central Florida vs. Duke, 2 p.m., ESPN

 

LIBERTY BOWL (at Memphis, Tenn.)

37 Arkansas vs. Kansas, 5:30 p.m., ESPN

 

HOLIDAY BOWL (at San Diego)

36 Oregon vs. North Carolina, 8 p.m., FOX

 

TEXAS BOWL (at Houston)

34 Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech, 9 p.m., ESPN

 

PINSTRIPE BOWL (at Bronx, N.Y.)

26 Minnesota vs. Syracuse, 2 p.m., ESPN

 

CHEEZ-IT BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)

27 Florida State vs. Oklahoma, 5:30 p.m., ESPN

 

ALAMO BOWL (at San Antonio)

32 Texas vs. Washington, 9 p.m., ESPN

 

DUKE’S MAYO BOWL (at Charlotte, N.C.)

9 Maryland vs. NC State, noon, ESPN

 

SUN BOWL (at El Paso, Texas)

28 UCLA vs. Pitt, 2 p.m., CBS

 

GATOR BOWL (at Jacksonville, Fla.)

31 Notre Dame vs. South Carolina, 3:30 p.m., ESPN

 

ARIZONA BOWL (at Tucson, Ariz.)

16 Ohio vs. Wyoming, 4:30 p.m., Barstool Sports

 

ORANGE BOWL (at Miami Gardens, Fla.)

33 Clemson vs. Tennessee, 8 p.m., ESPN

 

SUGAR BOWL (at New Orleans)

41 Alabama vs. Kansas State, noon, ESPN

 

MUSIC CITY BOWL (at Nashville, Tenn.)

15 Kentucky vs. Iowa, noon, ABC

 

FIESTA BOWL (at Glendale, Ariz.) — CFP SEMIFINAL

39 Michigan vs. TCU, 4 p.m., ESPN

 

PEACH BOWL (at Atlanta) — CFP SEMIFINAL

40 Georgia vs. Ohio State, 8 p.m., ESPN

 

RELIAQUEST BOWL (at Tampa, Fla.)

30 Mississippi State vs. Illinois, noon, ESPN2

 

COTTON BOWL CLASSIC (at Arlington, Texas)

14 USC vs. Tulane, 1 p.m., ESPN

 

CITRUS BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)

35 LSU vs. Purdue, 1 p.m., ABC

 

ROSE BOWL GAME (at Pasadena, Calif.)

29 Utah vs. Penn State, 5 p.m., ESPN

My tombstone will simply say "pick them"

Every single one of these, I'm looking at like whaaat. what are you doing here.

BAHAMAS

(32) UAB v Miami (OH)

CURE

(6) UTSA v Troy

FENWAY

(5) Cincinnati v Louisville

LAS VEGAS

(15) Oregon St. v Florida

LA

(9) Washington St. v Fresno St.

LENDINGTREE

(33) Southern Mist v Rice

NEW MEXICO

(4) BYU v SMU

FRISCO

(40) Boise St. v North Texas

MYRTLE BEACH

(39) Marshall v UConn

POTATO

(24) San Jose St. v EMU

BOCA RATON

(7) Li-bear-ty v Toledo

NEW ORLEANS

(13) South Alabama v WKU

ARMED FORCES

(25) Baylor v Air Force

INDEPENDENCE

(31) Houston v UL-Lafayette

GASPARILLA

(17) Woke Forest v Mizzou

H'A'W'A'I'I

(18) San Diego St. v MTSU

QUICK LANE

(10) New Mexico St. v Bowling Green

CAMELLIA

(30) Georgia Southern v Buffalo

FIRST RESPONDER

(19) Memphis v Utah St.

BIRMINGHAM

(12) ECU v Coastal Carolina

GUARANTEED RATE

(29) Wisconsin v Oklahoma St.

MILITARY

(8) UCF v Duke

LI-BEAR-TY

(26) Arkansas v Urkansas

HOLIDAY

(34) Oregon v North Carolina

TEXAS

(27) Old Mist v Texas Tech

PINSTRIPE

(38) Minnesota v Syracuse

CHEEZ-IT

(1) Oklahoma v Florida St.

ALAMO

(3) Washington v Texas

MAYONNAISE

(2) NC State v Maryland

SUN

(16) UCLA v Pitt

GATOR

(37) Notre Dame v South Carolina

ARIZONA

(11) Wyoming v Ohio

ORANGE

(28) Clemson v Tennessee

SUGAR

(36) Alabama v Urkansas St.

MUSIC CITY

(23) Iowa v Kentucky

FIESTA

(35) Michigan v TCU

PEACH

(14) Georgia v Ohio St.

RELIAQUEST

(20) Illinois v Mississippi St.

COTTON

(22) USC v Tulane

CITRUS

(41) LSU v Purdue

ROSE

(21) Penn St. v Utah

It's Bowl Line Up Time Baby, Let's Not Die 2022

All times Eastern, not going to bother changing them.

Friday, Dec. 16

BAHAMAS BOWL (at Nassau, Bahamas)

UAB (-10, o/u 44½) vs. Miami (Ohio), 11:30 a.m., ESPN

CURE BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)

No. 24 Troy (-1, o/u 54½) vs. No. 25 UTSA, 3 p.m., ESPN

Saturday, Dec. 17

FENWAY BOWL (at Boston)

Louisville (-1½, o/u 44½) vs. Cincinnati, 11 a.m., ESPN

LAS VEGAS BOWL

No. 14 Oregon State (-10½, o/u 52) vs. Florida, 2:30 p.m., ESPN

L.A. BOWL (at Inglewood, Calif.)

Fresno State (-1½, o/u 54½) vs. Washington State, 3:30 p.m., ABC

LENDINGTREE BOWL (at Mobile, Ala.)

Southern Miss (-7, o/u 46½) vs. Rice, 5:45 p.m., ESPN

NEW MEXICO BOWL (at Albuquerque, N.M.)

SMU (-1½, o/u 70½) vs. BYU, 7:30 p.m., ABC

FRISCO BOWL (at Frisco, Texas)

Boise State (-10, o/u 56½) vs. North Texas, 9:15 p.m., ESPN

Monday, Dec. 19

MYRTLE BEACH BOWL (at Conway, S.C.)

Marshall (-10, o/u 40½) vs. UConn, 2:30 p.m., ESPN

Tuesday, Dec. 20

FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO BOWL (at Boise, Idaho)

San Jose State (-3½, o/u 54½) vs. Eastern Michigan, 3:30 p.m., ESPN

BOCA RATON BOWL (at Boca Raton, Fla.)

Toledo (-4½, o/u 53½) vs. Liberty, 7:30 p.m., ESPN

Wednesday, Dec. 21

NEW ORLEANS BOWL

South Alabama (-7½, o/u 54½) vs. Western Kentucky, 9 p.m., ESPN

Thursday, Dec. 22

ARMED FORCES BOWL (at Fort Worth, Texas)

Baylor (-6½, o/u 49½) vs. Air Force, 7:30 p.m., ESPN

Friday, Dec. 23

INDEPENDENCE BOWL (at Shreveport, La.)

Houston (-6½, o/u 60½) vs. Louisiana-Lafayette, 3 p.m., ESPN

GASPARILLA BOWL (at Tampa, Fla.)

Wake Forest (-2½, o/u 63) vs. Missouri, 6:30 p.m., ESPN

Saturday, Dec. 24

HAWAII BOWL (at Honolulu)

San Diego State (-7, o/u 49½) vs. Middle Tennessee, 8 p.m., ESPN

Monday, Dec. 26

QUICK LANE BOWL (at Detroit)

Bowling Green (-2½, o/u 48) vs. New Mexico State, 2:30 p.m., ESPN

Tuesday, Dec. 27

CAMELLIA BOWL (at Montgomery, Ala.)

Georgia Southern (-3½, o/u 67½) vs. Buffalo, noon, ESPN

FIRST RESPONDER BOWL (at Dallas)

Memphis (-7, o/u 62½) vs. Utah State, 3:15 p.m., ESPN

BIRMINGHAM BOWL

East Carolina (-9½, o/u 59½) vs. Coastal Carolina, 6:45 p.m., ESPN

GUARANTEED RATE BOWL (at Phoenix)

Wisconsin (-3, o/u 43) vs. Oklahoma State, 10:15 p.m., ESPN

Wednesday, Dec. 28

MILITARY BOWL (at Annapolis, Md.)

Central Florida (pick ’em, o/u 62½) vs. Duke, 2 p.m., ESPN

LIBERTY BOWL (at Memphis, Tenn.)

Arkansas (-4, o/u 68½) vs. Kansas, 5:30 p.m., ESPN

HOLIDAY BOWL (at San Diego)

No. 15 Oregon (-12, o/u 71) vs. North Carolina, 8 p.m., FOX

TEXAS BOWL (at Houston)

Ole Miss (-4, o/u 70) vs. Texas Tech, 9 p.m., ESPN

Thursday, Dec. 29

PINSTRIPE BOWL (at Bronx, N.Y.)

Minnesota (-7½, o/u 42) vs. Syracuse, 2 p.m., ESPN

CHEEZ-IT BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)

No. 13 Florida State (-7½, o/u 65) vs. Oklahoma, 5:30 p.m., ESPN

ALAMO BOWL (at San Antonio)

No. 20 Texas (-6, o/u 68½) vs. No. 12 Washington, 9 p.m., ESPN

Friday, Dec. 30

DUKE’S MAYO BOWL (at Charlotte, N.C.)

Maryland (-1, o/u 48) vs. No. 23 NC State, noon, ESPN

SUN BOWL (at El Paso, Texas)

No. 18 UCLA (-7, o/u 57½) vs. Pitt, 2 p.m., CBS

GATOR BOWL (at Jacksonville, Fla.)

No. 21 Notre Dame (-3½, o/u 52) vs. No. 19 South Carolina, 3:30 p.m., ESPN

ARIZONA BOWL (at Tucson, Ariz.)

Ohio (-1, o/u 43) vs. Wyoming, 4:30 p.m., Barstool Sports

ORANGE BOWL (at Miami Gardens, Fla.)

No. 7 Clemson (-7, o/u 64) vs. No. 6 Tennessee, 8 p.m., ESPN

Saturday, Dec. 31

SUGAR BOWL (at New Orleans)

No. 5 Alabama (-3½, o/u 54½) vs. No. 9 Kansas State, noon, ESPN

MUSIC CITY BOWL (at Nashville, Tenn.)

Kentucky (-2½, o/u 31½) vs. Iowa, noon, ABC

FIESTA BOWL (at Glendale, Ariz.) — CFP SEMIFINAL

No. 2 Michigan (-7½, o/u 59) vs. No. 3 TCU, 4 p.m., ESPN

PEACH BOWL (at Atlanta) — CFP SEMIFINAL

No. 1 Georgia (-6½, o/u 61½) vs. No. 4 Ohio State, 8 p.m., ESPN

Monday, Jan. 2

RELIAQUEST BOWL (at Tampa, Fla.)

No. 22 Mississippi State (-1, o/u 46½) vs. Illinois, noon, ESPN2

COTTON BOWL CLASSIC (at Arlington, Texas)

No. 10 USC (-2, o/u 62) vs. No. 16 Tulane, 1 p.m., ESPN

CITRUS BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)

No. 17 LSU (-10, o/u 58) vs. Purdue, 1 p.m., ABC

ROSE BOWL GAME (at Pasadena, Calif.) 

No. 8 Utah (-2½, o/u 52) vs. No. 11 Penn State, 5 p.m., ESPN

guess we should wrap this up huh stranger things

loser with class: 45-51-1, {v}0.00 (ha ha)

winner with class too: 53-43-1, {v}1,300.00

see you in the pick them

stranger things

really not feeling good. hopefully that means i mess this up very badly.

Old Mist -2.5

Arkansas -3

Florida +9.5

Georgia Tech +38.5

Clemson -14.5

Kentucky -3.5

Auburn +21.5

LSU -10

Tennessee -14

{v} let's make it a little interesting, maybe

1. {v}273.65 on Georgia -30000 to win {v}0.91.

2. {v}68.17 on Caddy +1053 to win {v}717.83.

hail mary time

Meaning, of course, it's time to convert to Catholicism.

Mississippi State (+2.5) at Old Mist: I'm willing to believe that Old Mist is distracted. Finally off the Old Mist train, so they'll probably win by 35.

Arkansas (-3) at Missouri: Seems low

Florida at Florida State (-9.5): Florida has lost my approval

Georgia Tech at Georgia (-38.5): No

South Carolina at Clemson (-14.5): Tennessee losing did a lot for playoff hopefuls trying to get their team serious about a rival

Louisville (+3.5) at Kentucky: kind of funny vibes in this one

Auburn (+21.5) at Alabama: Believing

LSU (-10) at TAMU: It looks like I may be wrong about how well Brian Kelly was going to fit in at LSU.

Tennessee (-14) at Vanderbilt: who cares

{v}{v}{v}

GIMME {v}655.39 on Auburn covering (-21.5), to win {v}595.81

rivalry week (stranger things reference)

Mississippi State (+116) at Old Mist (-2.5, -139) (T:59)

Arkansas (-3, -158) at Missouri (+132) (T:56)

Florida (+292) at Florida State (-9.5, -371) (T:58)

Georgia Tech (+10000) at Georgia (-38.5, -30000) (T:48.5)

South Carolina (+449) at Clemson (-14.5, -628) (T:50.5)

Louisville (+144) at Kentucky (-3.5, -173) (T:43)

Auburn (+1053) at Alabama (-21.5, -2205) (T:49)

LSU (-10, -374) at TAMU (+294) (T:46.5)

Tennessee (-14, -560) at Vanderbilt (+411) (T:66)

seems a done deal

delightful

stranger things: 3-4 (43-44-1); {v}655.39

a different tv show, i don't care: 4-3 (49-38-1); {v}1,367.26

So I was peeing next to a guy and his phone went off and it was the song from the Stranger Things opening credits

*Wailing horridly* Time to make some picks.

Florida -14

UMass +33.5 I don't care how bad UMass is, do we really think tam-poo can score 34 points

Kentucky +22.5

Auburn -5.5 

Tennessee -21.5

Old Mist -2.5

LSU -14.5 Fun Fact: LSU has never lost a non-conference game at Tiger Stadium

{v}

I'm Ride or Die for Caddy.

1. {v}941.32 on Auburn -221 to win {v}425.94

Week Twelve Is Still A Stranger Things Reference And It Will Never Die

Florida (-14) at Vanderbilt: foolish

UMass at TAMU (-33.5): It's easy to imagine Jimbo trying to run it up big in this game to prove he can still coach offense. This is an insultingly low over/under that I very nearly bet under.

Georgia at Kentucky (+22.5): seems like a lot

Western Kentucky at Auburn (-5.5): We're in full I BELIEVE mode

Tennessee (-21.5) at South Carolina: Hypothesis: Tennessee wants to lay on every point, to look good for the potential playoff spot. 

Old Mist (-2.5) at Arkansas: Most Old Mist lines look wrong to me this year, and then I'm usually the idiot. I refuse to learn anything from this fact. 

UAB at Lsu (-14.5): Looks like I am mostly picking favorites, that's fine

{v}N{v}I{v}C{v}E{v}

Gimme {v}249.70 on Old Mist covering (-2.5), to win {v}227

Week 12 (stronger things reference)

SoCon Saturday etc etc

Florida (-14, -623) at Vanderbilt (+445) (T:57.5)

UMass (+4000) at TAMU (-33.5, -30000) (T:47.5)

Georgia (-22.5, -2565) at Kentucky (+1143) (T:49.5)

Western Kentucky (+181) at Auburn (-5.5, -221) (T:52.5)

Tennessee (-21.5, -2109) at South Carolina (+1039) (T:66)

Old Mist (-2.5, -135) at Arkansas (+113) (T:60.5)

UAB (+454) at Lsu (-14.5, -638) (T:52.5)

for some reason i had to explain the not SWAC thing this weekend

it was easy because i am so familiar with it.

white claw: 4-2-1 (40-40-1), {v}905.09

the aldi kind (gross): 3-3-1 (45-35-1), {941.32}

Stringer Thangs

Missouri at Tennessee (-20.5): tough to care

Vanderbilt at Kentucky (-17.5): Vanderbilt is Not Good.

LSU (-3) at Arkansas: I would say "letdown" except Arkansas lost to Liberty last week.

Alabama at Old Mist (+11.5): too good to be true but I hope

South Carolina (+7.5) at Florida: It's hard to get a handle on Florida this year, probably because I haven't watched them much and hate them, but it seems like a reasonable guess that they're also Not Good, though not to the extent Vandy (see above) is not good. 

Georgia (-16.5) at Mississippi State: Only good scenario left in college football is Georgia getting upset in some random remaining game (not going to happen), then losing to a two-loss SEC West champion (also not going to happen), and the SEC gets left out of the playoffs entirely (also too not going to happen). 

TAMU at Auburn (-1.5): lol

{v}{v}{v}{v}THENICEBOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}

I hope I lose the Georgia bet and lose the pick them, it will be worth it

Gimme {v}50 on Old Mist covering (+11.5), to win {v}45.45

Gimme {v}425 on Georgia straight up (-850), to win {v}50

Week Eleven is so cool because it's basically the Stranger Things week

Stranger Things is a show about strangers.

Tennessee -20.5

Kentucky -17.5

LSU -3

Alabama -11.5

Florida -7.5

Georgia -16.5

TAMU +1.5

{v}

1. {v}223.32 on Alabama -465 to win {v}48.03

Strangers Things (Week Eleven Reference)

You guessed it: lines

Missouri Loves Company (+890) at Tennessee (-20.5, -1700) T:56.5

Vanderbilt (+170) at Kentucky (-17.5, -1250) T:48.5

LSU (-3, -164) at Arkansas (+136) T:63.5

Alabama (-11.5, -465) at Old Mist (+350) T:63.5

South Carolina (+250) at Florida (-7.5, -315) T:58.5

Georgia (-16.5, -850) at Mississippi State (+570) T:53.5

TAMU (+100) at Auburn (-1.5, -120) T:48.5

Just sitting here at work hootin n hollerin, carryin on all crazy-like...

... tryin to convine folks i'm swac. ain't workin.

Not SWAC: 4-3, (36-38); {v}809.64

Definitely not SWAC: 5-2 (42-32); {v}893.65

The nice bookie is not paying out {v}85 on a {v}20 spread bet so I fixed that for you. cheater.

Week Ten (Stranger Things reference)

Florida +3.5

Kentucky -1.5

Tennessee +8

Li-Bear-Ty +13.5

Alabama -13

South Carolina -7

Auburn +13.5

{v}

1. {v}255.59 on Alabama -500 to win {v}51.12

2. {v}42.17 on Auburn +425 to win {v}179.22

a perfect week 10 picks

Florida at TAMU (-3.5): Not sure why I feel like it's impossible TAMU will lose this many in a row, but many things once seemed impossible.

Kentucky (-1.5) at Missouri: Funny and insulting line to Kentucky, though they are a team that seems to be in decline.

Tennessee (+8) at Georgia: I believe

Liberty Bear (+13.5) at Arkansas: sure

Alabama (-13) at Lsu: I'd like to think I am wrong, but as much as people talk about how scary Baton Rouge is blah blah blah, it seems like Alabama goes down there and sets a freshman rushing record or something every few years.

South Carolina (-7) at Vanderbilt: another vaguely insulting line. Just realized I picked mostly road teams.

Auburn (+13.5) at Mississippi State: the bad man is gone

{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}50 on Liberty-Arkansas going over 64, to win {v}45.45

Gimme {v}120 on Alabama straight up (-500), to win {v}24

Gimme {v}20 on South Carolina-Vanderbilt going over 48.5, to win {v}18.18

Gimme {v}20 on Auburn covering +13.5, to win {v}85

Tri Epsilon Is Now a Scientology-Free Zone

Florida (+140) at TAMU (-3.5, -165) T:54.5

Kentucky (-1.5, -125) at Missouri (+105) T:41.5

Tennessee (+240) at Georgia (-8, -290) T:66

Liberty Bear (+360) at Arkansas (-13.5, -450) T:64

Alabama (-13, -500) at Lsu (+380) T:58

South Carolina (-7, -275) at Vanderbilt (+225) T:48.5

Auburn (+425) at Mississippi State (-13.5, -550) T:52

With 94 percent of precincts reporting, we are ready to make the projection...

... still not SWAC.

Eufaula's Finest: 2-3 (32-35), {v}943.28

Can't think of anything: 3-2 (37-30), {v}1,191.05

no thought just pickz

Arkansas at Auburn (+3.5)

Florida (+23) vs Georgia

Missouri at South Carolina (-4)

Kentucky (+13) at Tennessee 

Old Mist (-2.5) at TAMU

{v}A NICE BOOKIE{v}

GIMME {v}200 on Tennessee straight up (-450), to win {v}44.44

GIMME {v}200 on Georgia straight up (-2000), to win {v}10

GIMME {v}10 on Old Mist straight up (-140), to win {v}7.14

Coffee? Now that's a mean bean, baby.

Doing this nice and early so I make a lot of stupid picks and lose.

Arkansas -3.5

Florida +23

South Carolina -4

Tennessee -13

TAMU +2.5

{v}

1. 294.09 on Georgia -2000 to win a measly {v}14.70

Week Nine-Nine-Nine (RIP Herman Cain)

Herman Cain went to a "we don't need to stop Covid-19" rally, got Covid-19, and died. Rest in Power.

Arkansas (-3.5, -165) at Auburn (+140) (T:61)

Florida (+1100) vs Georgia (-23, -2000) (T:56.5)

Missouri (+170) at South Carolina (-4, -200) (T:47.5)

Kentucky (+360) at Tennessee (-13, -450) (T:63)

Old Mist (-2.5, -140) at TAMU (+120) (T:55)

happy birthday blog

She's fourteen. Soon, she'll be getting fingerbanged at the movies. #proud

Auburn is going to hire Jimbo

Nope. Still not SWAC.

Auburn is going to hire Deion: 2-2 (30-32); {v}881.70

Auburn is going to hire Hugh Freeze: 2-2 (34-28); {v}1,176.35

The Noble Eightfold Path, taught to use by the Buddha, refers to Week 8 picks

Old Mist (+1.5) at Lsu: Surprising line imho

Vanderbilt at Missouri (-14): raucous 

Mississippi State at Alabama (-21): they mad

TAMU at South Carolina (+3.5) cocks

{v}{v}{v} How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Nice Bookie {v}{v}{v}

GIMME {v}49.52 on Old Mist straight up (+105) to win {v}52

GIMME {v}252 on Alabama straight up (-1800) to win {v}14

GIMME {v}104.50 on Missouri straight up (-550) to win {v}19

Four games... four horsemen of the apocalypse... this canNOT be a coincidence

Old Mist +1.5

Vanderbilt +14

Alabama -21

TAMU -3.5

{v}

1. {v} 1,080.00 on Alabama -1800 to win {v}60.00

Weik Eeght

Light schedule this week!

Old Mist (+105) at Lsu (-1.5, -125) (T: 66.5)

Vanderbilt (+425) at Missouri (-14, -550) (T: 52.5)

Mississippi State (+1000) at Alabama (-21, -1800) (T: 62)

TAMU (-3.5, -175) at South Carolina (+150) (T: 44.5)

*to the tune of rocky top* blog blog blog blog blog blog blogblogblog

Clearly, we ain't SWAC.

Swimming in Doubloons: 1-5 (28-30); {v}898.22

Soiling his Pantaloons: 2-4 (32-26); {v}1,116.35

get their corn from a jar

The Tennessee Volunteers (oh, how I hate them) losing streak to Alabama was older than this humble blog.

Wish that I was on ol' Rocky Top

Down in the Tennessee hills

Ain't no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top

Ain't no telephone bills

Once I had a girl on Rocky Top

Half bear, other half cat

Wild as a mink, but sweet as soda pop

I still dream about that

Rocky Top, you'll always be

Home sweet home to me

Good ol' Rocky Top

Rocky Top, Tennessee

Rocky Top, Tennessee

Once two strangers climbed ol' Rocky Top

Lookin' for a moonshine still

Strangers ain't come down from Rocky Top

Reckon they never will

Corn won't grow at all on Rocky Top

Dirt's too rocky by far

That's why all the folks on Rocky Top

Get their corn from a jar

Rocky Top, you'll always be

Home sweet home to me

Good ol' Rocky Top

Rocky Top, Tennessee

Rocky Top, Tennessee

I've had years of cramped-up city life

Trapped like a duck in a pen

All I know is it's a pity life

Can't be simple again

Rocky Top, you'll always be

Home sweet home to me

Good ol' Rocky Top

Rocky Top, Tennessee

Rocky Top, Tennessee

Rocky Top, Tennessee

Seventh Heaven (is probably a reference I made before)

 Auburn at Old Mist (-14.5): lol. lmao.

Alabama (-7) at Tennessee: don't get your hopes up, idiots

Vanderbilt (+38) at Georgia: wrong

Arkansas (-1.5) at BYU: tough pick

LSU at Florida (-2.5): also tough, going with the home team.

Mississippi State (-6.5) at Kentucky: funny that Auburn is going to lose to both Mississippi teams this year

{v}{v}{v}

Now that I am out of debt, time to lose money again.

Gimme {v}129.80 on Mississippi State at Kentucky going over (T:46.5), to win {v}118

Gimme {v}129.80 on Old Mist straight up (-650), to win {v}118

I wonder how Mr. Steven is doing

These are not to be second-guessed.

Old Mist -14.5

Alabama -7

Vanderbilt +38

BYU +1.5

LSU +2.5

Kentucky +6.5

{v} 

this seems fine to me

1. {v}268.75 on Old Moist -650 to win {v}41.35

Week 7? That doesn't sound right

Auburn (+475) at Old Mist (-14.5 -650) (T:54)

Alabama (-7 -270) at Tennessee (+220) (T:65)

Vanderbilt (n/a) at Georgia (-38 n/a) (T:58.5)

Arkansas (-1.5 -120) at BYU (even) (T:66.5)

LSU (+115) at Florida (-2.5 -135) (T:51.5)

Mississippi State (-6.5 -250) at Kentucky (+210) (T:46.5)

whole lotta dwindling going on (i am talking about my leads)

 A beautiful fall afternoon in upstate New York picking apples: 4-3 (27-25), {v}1,008.05

The new hellraiser movie: 2-5 (30-22), {v}1,075.00

mr steven is awake now and he says he would like chik fil a

mr steven wakes up hungry

Arkansas +8

Florida -11

LSU +3

Auburn +30 oh no

Old Mist -18

Kentucky -10.5

TAMU +24 oh god

{v}

1. {v}442.86 on Alabama -2000 to win {v}22.14

2. {v}57.14 on Arkansas +250 to win {v}142.86 (it should actually be 142.85 but this bookie... he's very nice and he likes things to come out to round numbers)

(yelling as loud as I can) IT'S WEEK SIX

Arkansas at Mississippi State (-8): I think this line is dropping, but I'm impressed with Mississippi State so far.

Missouri (+11) at Florida: Two teams I don't trust
Tennessee (-3) at LSU: LSU got lucky to beat Auburn, the worst thing I can say about a team
Auburn (+30) at Georgia: Auburn is a garbage team but that's a lot of points
Old Mist (-18) at Vanderbilt: I'd take Old Mist at -24
Sakerlina at Kentucky (-10.5): Guessing they're mad
TAMU at Alabama (-24): Guessing they're mad

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}A NICE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}300 on Old Mist straight up (-900), to win {v}33.33

Gimme {v}25 on Tennesse to cover (-3), to win {v}22.73

Gimme {v}22.73 on Alabama to cover (-24), to win {v}20.66

Week The Smallest Perfect Number

Since I have not been consistent with sourcing, I will note: these lines etc come from TheScore app.

Arkansas (+250) at Mississippi State (-8, -300) T:62
Missouri (+360) at Florida (-11 -450) T:55
Tennessee (-3, -145) at LSU (+125) T:64
Auburn (+2500) at Georgia (-30, -7500) T:49
Old Mist (-18, -900) at Vanderbilt (+600) T:62
Sakerlina (+340) at Kentucky (-10.5, -425) T:49.5
TAMU (+1100) at Alabama (-24, -2000) T:51

W5R

can't think of any creative names, i have some kind of stomach virus or something

Charles: 1-4 (23-22), {v}974.72

Tha Captain: 3-2 (28-17), {v}1,110.00