werk twerk

Mississippi State (-9.5) not confident about that

Vanderbilt (-9) also not confident

Arkansas State (+36.5) idiot

Georgia (-10) going with what would be worse

Wyoming (+17) another tight one

Clemson (-12.5) statement game

Arkansas (-13) book it

Florida (-14) several favorites this week, seems like that's a mistake

MONEY THING

I have $940.91 and so have to bet at least $235.23. These odds come from Bovada as of 3:00pmish. Going to try to climb back up gradually in a week I don't see a lot of sure bets.

I'll bet $110 on Florida to beat Kentucky, to win $21
I'll bet $90 on Clemson to beat TAMU to win $22
I'll bet $40 on Georgia beating South Carolina, to win $11.50
I'll bet $10 on Mississippi State vs. Kansas to go under 54 points
I'll bet $10.91 on Missouri-Wyoming to go over 52 points

WEEK TWO: In honor of space mountain, i'm going to call this "space weekend"

space mountain is crazy I bet. roller coaster in the dark. wouldn't do that, myself. but, man. sounds crazy! that's kind of what picking all these great matchups is like for me!

Kansas State +9.5 Space Mountain Fact: space mountain was built in 1943.

Vanderbilt -9  Space Mountain Fact: space mountain is property of the Disney corp.

Alabama -36.5  Space Mountain Fact: space mountain is the darkest roller coaster in the world.

South Carolina +10  Space Mountain Fact: the first president to ride space mountain was ike Eisenhower.

Wyoming +17  Space Mountain Fact: 4 people have died in space mountain.

Clemson -12.5  Space Mountain Fact: space mountain is not actually in space, but rather it is at Disney.

Arkansas -13  Space Mountain Fact: no food or drinks are allowed on space mountain.

Kentucky +14  Space Mountain Fact: space mountain goes 100 miles per hour.


the wager of sin is death:
I am betting all $934.50 on Alabama to win straight up at -31050. I stand to win $3.01. This is the only way I will not lose money this weekend.


WELCOME TO SPACE WEEKEND

it's already exhausting

Chap Smear: 5-3 (5-3)
Caps Cheer: 5-3 (5-3)

This could be an interesting week, although I don't think it will be.

Mississippi State (-9.5) at Kansas State
Nevada at Vanderbilt (-9)
Arkansas State at Alabama (-36.5)
Georgia (-10) at South Carolina
Wyoming at Missouri (-17)
Clemson (12.5) at TAMU
Arkansas (-13) at Colorado State for some reason
Kentucky at Florida (-14)

The lineless: Auburn, Old Mist, LSU, Tennessee

"the nice bookie":
me: $940.91
you: $934.50

well let's get to it

Coastal Carolina (+29.5) Hard to guess it. I have to imagine South Carolina is looking ahead, right? But Will Muschamp wants to look spread-y. Hard. This is a game where, writing it right now, I feel like I am going to go back and change it tomorrow. (update: I did)

Old Mist (+2.5) I think this line is pro-Texas Tech because people think TTU is close to Houston, when really it's literally thousands of miles away.

Auburn (-1.5) I'm a fool.

West Virginia (-10) NEERS

Central Michigan (+17) I guess?

Vanderbilt (-2.5) Just thinking about betting this game makes me feel like a degenerate gambler.

Louisville (+24.5) This will not be a pretty football game. 35-13, exactly not covering the spread.

Miami (-3.5) I am tired of neutral-site games. I guess this is closer to LSU, but I don't think LSU is that good. LSU has more talent but I think worse coaching, which makes this tough. I kind of worry Miami will win but not cover, some 26-24 nonsense.

---NEW THING---

All of my bets this season will be based on odds recorded on my TheScore app.

My bets: Louisville-Alabama will go under 62.5 points ($150)
Washington-Auburn will go under 48.5 points ($100)

Can you believe its 2018 and there are still only 2 people competing in this thing

Before reading these, imagine me doing the thing where LeBron throws chalk up in the air before a game but it mostly just gets in my face and I'm sneezing for half an hour. Also I have the body of a horse and the head of a lion.

south Carolina -29.5 south Carolina was my top performer last year so this year I'm going to keep "riding the cocks." Computer erase that. ah, crap

old mist +2.5 the rebs will want to go a good job for their fans

Kentucky -17  Kentucky's stadium is called Kroger field.

Washington +1.5 I am so confident that I intentionally used the 1.5 point line instead of the more common 2.5. "We don't need any stinking points" - Washington

Tennessee +10 why is it in charlotte

Vanderbilt -2.5 Remember when Vanderbilt played Alabama last year and gameday was maybe there and then Alabama won like 40-0

BAM -24.5  Alabama has been a 12 and a 7 point favorite and covered the last two years against ultimately disappointing USC and Flo-Rida State teams. What does that tell me about this large point spread? Nothing; I refuse to learn anything new.

LSU +3.5 yo yo yo yo yooo yo yoooo yo brent Schaefer



ok here are my wagers.

$100 on Tennessee to win straight up (+300, I stand to win $300)
$100 on Washington to win straight up (+110, I stand to win $110)
$110 on under 48.5 points in Auburn/Washington (-110, I stand to win $100)
And last but not least, I wager my final $690 on Alabama to win straight up (-2000, I stand to win $34.50)

Wow. You can really tell I didn't feel like posting that last night.

But I wanted it out there. I wanted you to have plenty of time to plan.

Stuff I should have put in the post last night:

History:

2016:
Chard: 50-45-2, 51.55%
Tha Cab: 44-51-2, 45.36%

20-21-1 on agreed results.
30-24-1 to you on polite disagreements.

2017:
Chuckamauga: 49-46-3, 50%
Capybara: 45-50-3, 45.92%

28-29-1 when our minds were in sync.
21-17-2 in your favor when our friendship was on the brink.



I guess usually the picks should be in on Thursday afternoons at 5.

Wow, time for football and picks

These... are football games.


Coastal Carolina @ South Carolina (-29.5)

Old Mist vs Texas Tech (-2.5) @ Houston, TX

Washington vs Auburn (-1.5) @ Atlanta, GA

Tennessee vs West Virginia (-10) @ Charlotte, NC

Central Michigan @ Kentucky (-17)

Middle Tennessee @ Vanderbilt (-2.5)

Louisville vs Alabama (-24.5) @ Orlando, FL

Miami (-3.5) vs LSU @ Arlington, TX


You pick all those games ATS. Also, you have $1000. You have to wager at least 25% or $250. You can bet it however you want. I don't care. My dogs don't care. As long as it's a real bet you can place at a real sportsbook or casino or whatever. I don't know how bets work so this will be a disaster.

Glen Campbell & Carl Jackson DUELING BANJOS 1973

my threads are fresh and I'm lookin def

You was in the gymnasium while I was putting chainsaws to craniums

This is America, so Call Me Maybe

this is definitely a thing I can understand, how you could just kill a man

beautiful frog

Beautiful FrOg

by Porpentine
 
NEW FROG

FROG SETTINGS

(Jamaica accent) pro tek ya nek

if I spring a leak, she mends me

I think my back got scoliosis cause I swerved the lane

wanted

I'ma send you to the yard, get a stick, make a switch I can end a conversation real quick

it's no better to be safe than sorry

saw Deadpool 2

rebel just for kicks should be the name of this song

I really dig the way this nerd dresses in this video, but what kind of name is this band doing. what is this.