Friday links

1. Tebow Tebow comments

2. Annoying sound

3. Doodle Or Die is so fun

Mike Tyson song

bc a guy died

a guy who isn't in this video. but a guy nonetheless.



UPDATE: BETTER!

SEC PICK THEMS POST

by my haphazard and (DARE I SAY) slapdash calculation I'm at 51 - 11 strait up which is xtrakrzy because that's a different total than Charlos's 54 - 9. It doesn't matter. I'm certainly not trying to figger out my ATS reck.

UPDATE: Since Charles won't count I'm going to assume I missed a win.

52 - 11.

UPDATE: Just noticed that Charles's strait up and ATS records don't total to the same thing. Maybe I AM a mere 51 - 11.

UPDATE: 62 games have been picked. I'm going to be the better man and admit that my original 51 - 11 was correct and that other asshole is cooking the books ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.

UPDATE: you've only got 9 losses, bro. EVERYONE, CHARLES IS ONLY 53 - 9.

PICK UMZ

Vanderbilt (+14) at Florida
New Mexico State (+33.5) at Georgia
Ole Miss (-2) at Kentucky
Middle Tennessee State (+20.5) at Tennessee
South Carolina (+5) at ARKANSAS
Louisiana St. (+4.5) at ALABAMA

Week 10 pickums

Last week I went 4-1 straight-up and 3-2 against the line. That puts me at 54-9 and 32-30, respectively, for the season overall. Once again for this week, bold to win, caps to cover the line.

Unlike some weeks, when it feels like the line would be free money (especially for Alabama games), to me this looks like the toughest week yet. If I were putting real money down, this week I would not bet on any games except Ole Miss. Maybe Arkansas.

Vanderbilt (+14) at Florida
New Mexico State (+33.5) at Georgia
OLE MISS (-2) at Kentucky
Middle Tennessee State (+20.5) at TENNESSEE
South Carolina (+5) at ARKANSAS
LSU (+4.5) at Alabama

Mississippi State is playing an FCS opponent.

acc football presents: this just in

Wealth inequality

In lieu of the rule of law — the equal application of rules to everyone — what we have now is a two-tiered justice system in which the powerful are immunized while the powerless are punished with increasing mercilessness. As a guarantor of outcomes, the law has, by now, been so completely perverted that it is an incomparably potent weapon for entrenching inequality further, controlling the powerless, and ensuring corrupted outcomes.

The tide that was supposed to lift all ships has, in fact, left startling numbers of Americans underwater. In the process, we lost any sense that a common set of rules applies to everyone, and so there is no longer a legitimizing anchor for the vast income and wealth inequalities that plague the nation.

That is what has changed, and a growing recognition of what it means is fueling rising citizen anger and protest. The inequality under which so many suffer is not only vast, but illegitimate, rooted as it is in lawlessness and corruption. Obscuring that fact has long been the linchpin for inducing Americans to accept vast and growing inequalities. That fact is now too glaring to obscure any longer.

Immunity and Impunity in Elite America

more halloween

halloween

apropos

metal monday: baby metal!

top comment: RELEASE THE PEDOBEAR!!!!

I'm the first mammal to wear pants

on time and on a dime!

Arkansas (-10) at Vanderbilt

Georgia (-3) vs. Florida
Ole Miss (+12.5) at Auburn
Mississippi State (-10) at Kentucky
South Carolina (-3.5) at Tennessee

Oi, again with the home dogs!

Week 9 picks on time for once

Last week I went 4-0 straight-up and a gross 1-3 against the line. That puts me at 50-8 and 29-28, respectively, for the season overall. Once again for this week, bold to win, caps to cover the line.

ARKANSAS (-10) at Vanderbilt
GEORGIA (-3) vs. Florida
Ole Miss (+12.5) at AUBURN
MISSISSIPPI STATE (-10) at Kentucky
South Carolina (-3.5) at Tennessee

Octopus intelligence

Only recently have scientists accorded chimpanzees, so closely related to humans we can share blood transfusions, the dignity of having a mind. But now, increasingly, researchers who study octopuses are convinced that these boneless, alien animals—creatures whose ancestors diverged from the lineage that would lead to ours roughly 500 to 700 million years ago—have developed intelligence, emotions, and individual personalities. Their findings are challenging our understanding of consciousness itself.

I had always longed to meet an octopus. Now was my chance: senior aquarist Scott Dowd arranged an introduction. In a back room, he would open the top of Athena’s tank. If she consented, I could touch her. The heavy lid covering her tank separated our two worlds. One world was mine and yours, the reality of air and land, where we lumber through life governed by a backbone and constrained by jointed limbs and gravity. The other world was hers, the reality of a nearly gelatinous being breathing water and moving weightlessly through it. We think of our world as the “real” one, but Athena’s is realer still: after all, most of the world is ocean, and most animals live there. Regardless of whether they live on land or water, more than 95 percent of all animals are invertebrates, like Athena.

Inside the mind of an octopus

Another fun North Korean dance music video

hawaiian dances are stupid

Arkansas (-15.5) at Ole Miss
Auburn (+21) at Louisiana St.
Army (+11) at Vanderbilt
Tennessee (+29.5) at ALABAMA

Would have liked to have disagreed more, but oh well.

week 8 real late my bad

Last week I went 5-0 straight-up and 3-2 against the line. That puts me at 46-8 and 28-25, respectively, for the season overall. Once again for this week, bold to win, caps to cover the line.

ARKANSAS (-15.5) at Ole Miss
Auburn (+21) at Lsu
Army (+11) at Vanderbilt
Tennessee (+29.5) at ALABAMA

Kentucky is playing Jax State, which probably is a pick 'em.

Bohemian Shatner

avengers

Everyone around here is getting ready for Klanoween

He sprang to his Chevy, to his team gave a purr,
And away they all flew, all screaming out slurs.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of town,
"Best to get all them darkies out here 'fore sundown!"

this just in

I am not generally a Kill Bill fan but this is a great scene

this is where i predict the future

OH MY GOD.

South Carolina (-3) at Mississippi State
Louisiana St (-17) at Tennessee
Alabama (-25.5) at Ole Miss
Georgia (-11) at Vanderbilt
Florida (-2) at Auburn

THASSA LOTTA HOME DOGS.

Week 7 Picks subtitled I am doing worse against the line than I expected I would

Last week I went 4-2 straight-up and 3-3 against the line. That puts me at 41-8 and 25-23, respectively, for the season overall. Once again for this week, bold to win, caps to cover the line.

SOUTH CAROLINA (-3) at Mississippi State
LSU (-17) at Tennessee
ALABAMA (-25.5) at Ole Miss
Georgia (-11) at Vanderbilt
Florida (-2) at Auburn

efficient resource management

56 06 39

SEC expansion

Here's an idea about what the SEC could do with regards to expansion, since it's apparently a thing now. The SEC should add to what it has by picking up WVU, Louisville, Kansas, Kansas State, and Missouri, for a total of 18 teams.

So, the football divisions would be the nine schools in Alabama, Mississippi, Florida, Tennessee, Louisiana, and Georgia in one division, Kentucky and all the new pick-ups since 1992 (the five listed above plus South Carolina, Arkansas, Texas A&M) in the other. This means a lot of travel for the new schools, but football and basketball can afford it. The division made up of the older SEC teams would be the football division, the new one a basketball division.

The conference would play nine conference games in football: round-robin schedule against the other eight teams in your division, plus a team in the other division. I would give schools freedom to schedule the inter-division game: Tennessee and Kentucky want to play every year? Sure! Florida wants to rotate three teams? Whatever.

In basketball, I'd subdivide the divisions. Play a home-and-home with your four biggest rivals in the division every year, one game against each team in the rest of the division, and a rotation of six games against teams in the opposite division (for a total 18 conference games). This would have everyone play their biggest rivals twice a season, their other division rivals once a year, and get regular games against the rest of the conference.

All other sports would ignore the divisions, perhaps playing in pods or protected rivalries with rotating games. This would cut down on travel costs and let rivalries in individual sports to flourish.

Such an expansion would protect all the important football rivalries. It would put the SEC on TV sets stretching from Texas and Kansas in the west to Pennsylvania and Florida in the east. It would create unquestionably the strongest athletic conference in the country; for basketball and especially football, you'd have divisions as strong as any other conference.

It would also protect and nourish the weaker halves of the two money sports. Missouri, for example, can build and improve their football program without having to play Florida or LSU every year. Basketball is slightly more evenly divided, but it would help (say) Mississippi State's basketball team to not have to necessarily play Kansas, Kentucky, and Louisville all in one year.

There are some big downsides. The new additions probably won't add as much money, even with the new TV contracts, as they'll take.

More importantly, it will change the football product. The SEC probably will never have another undefeated season. No matter how good (for example) Auburn ever is, they will not win every game against the average LSU, Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, and Alabama team in one season.

The football title game would also be much less important and impressive. You'd have a three or four loss Georgia or Florida beating the pants off a one or two loss Texas A&M or West Virginia every year.

Gang Fight! Gang Fight! The gang is down to fight, yeah

roomba

I've got to admit, my heart just isn't in this.

Mississippi St. (-18.5) at UAB
Kentucky (+21) at South Carolina
Florida (+13.5) at Louisiana St.
Vanderbilt (+29) at ALABAMA
Auburn (+10) at Arkansas
Georgia (-1.5) at TENNESSEE

Not only will Tennessee win, they'll cover.

Some call it Week 6 picks

Last week I went a gross 4-3 straight-up and 3-4 against the line. That puts me at 37-6 and 22-20, respectively, for the season overall. Once again for this week, bold to win, caps to cover the line.

MISSISSIPPI STATE (-18.5) at UAB
Kentucky (+21) at South Carolina
Florida (+13.5) at LSU
Vanderbilt (+29) at ALABAMA
Auburn (+10) at Arkansas
Georgia (-1.5) at Tennessee

You see, you dont have to live like a refugee

in soviet russia...

Privacy

Say you're a 26-year-old who just got hired as a middle school teacher. You love your new job. Your students are great. But what if they Google you and make it to the third page of results, where there's a link to a sexually explicit column you wrote years ago for a now defunct Web magazine? Awkward. Maybe even a threat to your career. Alas, the erstwhile editor of the site won't remove the piece. And even if he did it would live on -- it's hard to remove anything from the Internet.

Or maybe what vexes someone is photo-tagging. When John Doe attended that gay pride parade while visiting New York City, he never realized his image would be captured in a huge crowd, his Sacramento Kings cap atop his head, or that technology would make it possible to zoom in on his features, or that facial recognition software would tag the photo as him. Now he's back in Fresno freaking out. What if people at the plant where he works figure out that he's closeted? So he takes to the Web. Photoshops himself into all sorts of unlikely places. Tienanmen Square. The gold medal platform at the 1976 Summer Olympics. In the crowd for "The Shot Heard Round the World." All while wearing that same cap. Suddenly the gay pride parade shot is just one more iteration on the photo meme that he or some prankster buddy made.

A Plausible Thought About the Future

I'd better go take a swim and see if I can cool down a little bit

And with a pH-value of 4.5

diiiiiiiicks

Texas A&M (-2.5) at Arkansas
Mississippi State (+7) at GEORGIA
Kentucky (+30.5) at LSU
Buffalo (+28.5) at TENNESSEE
Auburn (+10) at South Carolina
Alabama (-3.5) at Florida
Ole Miss (+3) at FRESNO STATE

piiiiiiiiiiiiiicks

Last week I went 7-0 straight-up and 4-3 against the line. That puts me at 33-3 and 19-16, respectively, for the season overall. Once again for this week, bold to win, caps to cover the line.

TEXAS A&M (-2.5) at Arkansas
Mississippi State (+7) at Georgia
Kentucky (+30.5) at Lsu
Buffalo (+28.5) at TENNESSEE
Auburn (+10) at South Carolina
ALABAMA (-3.5) at Florida
Ole Miss (+3) at FRESNO STATE

It looks like for the second straight week, I didn't pick any upsets.

yer humble bloggers

Nork party video

video description: "Ain't no party like a Pyongyang party, 'cause a Pyongyang party is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY"

NFL WEEK 3 FANTASY STIR FRY RESULTS

TERIYAKI 18
SUGAR SNAP PEAS 16
DELUXE 13 (TIE)
SPICY GARLIC 13 (TIE)
GINGER 12
BRANDON JACOBS 7
GINGER 6
HONG KONG 5
THAI 2

may we humbly recommend...

13 - Crabmeat Curry

A Maison D'3E original. It's really good. Best paired with something to get your drink on. Seriously, it's really, really good. Mushrooms, garbanzo beans, medium curry sauce, and if imitation is the most sincere form of flattery then all crabs should be blushing right now. Those Alaska pollock know how to imitate. Anyway, I know everyone else in the world will think this is gross, but it's so, so good. You may be wondering "why didn't tha captain take a picture after it had been plated? certainly would have been more aesthetically pleasing." BECAUSE I ATE IT OUT OF THE SKILLET.

GEORGIA (-10) at Ole Miss Arkansas (+11) at Alabama Florida Atlantic (+31.5) at Auburn La Tech (+19.5) at MISSISSIPPI STATE FLORIDA (-19.5) at Kentuck

Georgia (-10) at Ole Miss
Arkansas (+11) at ALABAMA
Florida Atlantic (+31.5) at Auburn
La Tech (+19.5) at MISSISSIPPI STATE
Florida (-19.5) at Kentucky
Vanderbilt (+15.5) at SOUTH CAROLINA
Louisiana St. (-5.5) at West Virginia

Slightly late picks week 4

Last week I went 6-2 straight-up and 4-4 against the line. That puts me at 26-3 and 15-13, respectively, for the season overall. Once again for this week, bold to win, caps to cover the line.

GEORGIA (-10) at Ole Miss
Arkansas (+11) at Alabama
Florida Atlantic (+31.5) at Auburn
La Tech (+19.5) at MISSISSIPPI STATE
FLORIDA (-19.5) at Kentucky
Vanderbilt (+15.5) at South Carolina
LSU (-5.5) at West Virginia

Friday illusion

this just in

things could be worse

here is the working acknowledgements section for my dissertation

Props to: Boots, Baby, Simon, Taylor, Zoe, Toonces, Betsy, Banjo, Harper, Jonah, Iggy, Rizzo, Rufus, Madison, Anubis, Dexter, Bennett, Delilah, Wesley, Malcolm, and even Samantha despite her bitchiness. I know it was never personal, girlfriend.

Sucks to the rest of you.

and sadly...

groin-grabbingly sadly, I've had this song in my head.

http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

Really starting to get into this crunkcore stuff too. So tight.



So, seriously, there's a bear drinking a forty.

this song has been stuck in my head

Tuesday links

1. A Note on Maps "No matter which one you prefer, or why, that’s what they both are and do. And it’s not even that these are particularly ideological maps, as opposed to other maps: all maps are broadly ideological in the sense that they pretend to show you what’s empirically there by framing, editing, and re-perspectivizing those empirical “facts” in ways that will both lead to a particular way of seeing the land (that, in this case, implies the political realization of the particular vision at stake)."

2. Sound by Gloumouth1

3. I'm helping

4.

ACC: listening to me, sort of

My recommendation was to pick up Pitt, Louisville, West Virginia, and UConn. They've just picked up Syracuse (presumably for the New York markets) and Pitt. Okay, now you need two more. I would recommend two of UConn, Louisville, and West Virginia. Rutgers is your back-up.

Syracuse hurts the football product. West Virginia would help that, so I would pick them first. UConn, a more natural ACC team, would be my second pick.

HOME UNDERDOGS ALWAYS COVER

Charles, please calculate my terrible, terrible record.

Louisiana State (-3.5) at Mississippi State
Auburn (+3) at Clemson
Ole Miss (-1.5) at Vanderbilt
Tennessee (+9.5) at Florida
Navy (+17) at South Carolina
Louisville (+5.5) at KENTUCKY
North Texas (+45.5) at ALABAMA
Troy (+22.5) at Arkansas


I love picking Kentucky to cover, it would appear.

Week 3 picks by me

Last week I went 8-1 straight-up and 6-2 against the line. That puts me at 20-1 and 11-9, respectively, for the season overall. Once again for this week, bold to win, caps to cover the line.

LSU (-3.5) at Mississippi State
AUBURN (+3) at Clemson
Ole Miss (-1.5) at Vanderbilt
Tennessee (+9.5) at Florida
Navy (+17) at South Carolina
Louisville (+5.5) at Kentucky
North Texas (+45.5) at ALABAMA
Troy (+22.5) at ARKANSAS

Georgia is playing a scrub.

Bat Monkey Pig

apparently it is video day

Football in Europe

65,000 players doubtlessly includes many professionals, but I wonder who the first college coach will be to have a special international recruiting budget.

Ray Charles covering "Ring of Fire"

metal monday

The questions run too deep for such a simple man

i'm going to kentucky for my cousin's wedding and will be way

ching the game at the murray plaza lodge. or on the internet. or something. tweet at me brahs. #winechugggggggg

Simpson's Paradox

A common example of Simpson's Paradox involves the batting averages of players in professional baseball. It is possible for one player to hit for a higher batting average than another player during a given year, and to do so again during the next year, but to have a lower batting average when the two years are combined. This phenomenon can occur when there are large differences in the number of at-bats between the years. (The same situation applies to calculating batting averages for the first half of the baseball season, and during the second half, and then combining all of the data for the season's batting average.)

A real-life example is provided by Ken Ross and involves the batting average of two baseball players, Derek Jeter and David Justice, during the baseball years 1995 and 1996:

Simpson's Paradox

here are some WORSE picks

I don't know how I did last week and I don't care. Your god will be the only judge of me.

Central Michigan (+10.5) at KENTUCKY
MSU (-6.5) at Auburn
Cincinnati (+5) at TENNESSEE
Alabama (-10) at Penn State
South Carolina (-3) at Georgia
New Mexico (+36) at ARKANSAS
Uab (+23.5) at FLORIDA
UCONN (+1.5) at Vandy

Charles picking week 2

Last week I went 12-0 straight up and an unfortunate 5-7 against the spread. Once again for this week, bold to win, caps to cover the line.

Central Michigan (+10.5) at Kentucky
MSU (-6.5) at Auburn
Cincinnati (+5) at TENNESSEE
ALABAMA (-10) at Penn State
SOUTH CAROLINA (-3) at Georgia
New Mexico (+36) at ARKANSAS
Uab (+23.5) at FLORIDA
UConn (+1.5) at VANDY

No line on Southern Illinois at Ole Miss or Northwestern State at LSU.

almost certainly the handiwork of you-know-who

Tuesday chart-o-graphs

1. Ancestry

2. Wrestlers

3. Stool

carry on my wayward skank

Cooking with Norm

No one else in the world says segment an orange.

"Räumen."

"Steuerung klar?"
"Ist klar."
"Treibwerk klar?"
"Ist klar."
"Luftlage klar."
"Schlüssel auf SCHIESSEN."
"Schlüssel steht auf SCHIESSEN."
"Durchschalten."
"Luftlage klar."
"1st durchgeschaltet."
"Beluftung klar."
"Zundung klar."
"Vorstufe klar."

...

"Haupstufe."
"Haupstufe ist gegeben."

...

"Stecker 1 und 2 gefallen."

...

The Stotz plugs lie blasted on the ground, tossing in a splash of flame. On gravity feed, the flame is bright yellow. Then the turbine begins to roar. The flame suddenly turns blue. The sound of it grows to full cry.

The Rocket stays a moment longer on the steel table, then slowly, trembling, furiously muscular, it begins to rise.

You Can't Spell EPIC FAIL without EPL: This is what will happen!

Srsly, write this in your journals. This is what the table will look like come mid-may. Now that all the transfer deadline day craziness is over, I've been able to settle down and, in a fury of knowledge, crap out this almost completely shot-in-the-dark prediction. After the top six... it's as clusterfucky as clusterfucks get.

1. Manchester United
2. Manchester City
3. Chelsea
4. Liverpool
5. Arsenal
6. Tottenham Hotspur
7. Stoke City
8. Newcastle United
9. Sunderland
10. Aston Villa
11. Bolton Wanderers
12. Everton
13. Fulham
14. Queens Park Rangers
15. Wolverhampton Wanderers
16. Wigan Athletic
17. West Bromwich Albion
18. Blackburn Rovers
19. Norwich City
20. Swansea City

Tha Captain will be working tirelessly this weekend with comments about all of the teams. I mean, what else will I be doing during an off-weekend for the premier league?

HINT: I WILL BE WATCHING FOOTBALL HOLY GOD WELCOME BACK FOOTBALL

ok real pix

Miss. St. (-30) at Memphis
Kent State (+38) at ALABAMA
Missouri State (+42) at Arkansas
Utah State (+21) at AUBURN
Florida Atlantic (+35) at Florida
Boise St. (-3) vs. Georgia
Oregon (-3) vs. LSU
Brigham Young (-3) at Ole Miss
East Carolina (+20.5) vs. South Carolina
Montana (+28) at Tennessee
Elon (+12.5) at VANDERBILT
KENTUCKY (-18) vs. Western Kentucky

Home underdogs ALWAYS cover. WKU doesn't count because the game is in Nashville or something.

ThaCaptainzPix: Just something to hold you over until Ted's picks.

Following the pattern, bold's a winnah, cap's a coverah!

Miss. St. (-30) at Memphis
Kent State (+38) at Alabama
Missouri State (+42) at Arkansas
Utah State (+21) at Auburn
Florida Atlantic (+35) at Florida
Boise St. (-3) vs. Georgia
Oregon (-3) vs. Louisiana St.
Brigham Young (-3) at Ole Miss
East Carolina (+20.5) vs. South Carolina
Montana (+28) at Tennessee
Elon (+12.5) at Vanderbilt

Dogs be barkin. Got a good feeling about it.

3E Introduces the 2011 3E SEC Pick-Off: Charlie's picks

So this is a thing. I am doing it like this: bold to win, caps to cover the line.

MISSISSIPPI STATE (-30) at Memphis
Kent State (+38) at Alabama
Missouri State (+42) at ARKANSAS
Utah State (+21) at AUBURN
Florida Atlantic (+35) at Florida
BOISE STATE (-3) vs. Georgia
Oregon (-3) vs. LSU
BYU (-3) at Ole Miss
East Carolina (+20.5) vs. SOUTH CAROLINA
Montana (+28) at TENNESSEE
Elon (+12.5) at VANDY

UPDATE!: Forgot KENTUCKY (-18) vs. Western Kentucky

Disney was hardcore

they let little kids watch this?

in response to a comment tha captain made earlier

I thought this was your ringtone

It's a good life

Aunt Amy was out on the front porch, rocking back and forth in the highbacked chair and fanning herself, when Bill Soames rode his bicycle up the road and stopped in front of the house.

Perspiring under the afternoon "sun," Bill lifted the box of groceries out of the big basket over the front wheel of the bike, and came up the front walk.

Little Anthony was sitting on the lawn, playing with a rat. He had caught the rat down in the basement--he had made it think that it smelled cheese, the most rich-smelling and crumbly-delicious cheese a rat had ever thought it smelled, and it had come out of its hole, and now Anthony had hold of it with his mind and was making it do tricks.

When the rat saw Bill Soames coming, it tried to run, but Anthony thought at it, and it turned a flip-flop on the grass, and lay trembling, its eyes gleaming in small black terror.

Bill Soames hurried past Anthony and reached the front steps, mumbling. He always mumbled when he came to the Fremont house, or passed by it, or even thought of it. Everybody did. They thought about silly things, things that didn't mean very much, like two-and-two-is-four-and-twice-is-eight and so on; they tried to jumble up their thoughts to keep them skipping back and forth, so Anthony couldn't read their minds. The mumbling helped. Because if Anthony got anything strong out of your thoughts, he might take a notion to do something about it--like curing your wife's sick headaches or your kid's mumps, or getting your old milk cow back on schedule, or fixing the privy. And while Anthony mightn't actually mean any harm, he couldn't be expected to have much notion of what was the right thing to do in such cases.

That was if he liked you. He might try to help you, in his way. And that could be pretty horrible.

If he didn't like you ... well, that could be worse.

It's a Good Life

Metal Monday Means More Mastadon

I just really wish I hadn't watched this.

UPDATE: that screencap is so great, don't ruin it by watching.

I haven't watched this and I'm probably not going to.

glad it's out there, though.




also this:

..

3E approves

Vodka

Unemployment once again has crept past 9 percent. GDP growth fell below 2 percent this last quarter. Inflation is up. Home values are down. There’s talk of a double-dip recession. According to one market analyst, “We’re on the verge of a great, great depression.” But through it all, there is one constant, a commodity that has not only survived during these harsh economic times, but even thrived.

Vodka.

The next time you visit a bar, see if you can count on one hand the number of vodkas on the shelf. Chances are you’ll need both hands, and possibly feet. The bar at the original Pizzeria Uno in downtown Chicago contains 13 different vodkas: one bottle of Skyy, one bottle of Smirnoff, four flavors of Stolichnaya, five flavors of Absolut, one Ketel One, and one Grey Goose. At the T.G.I. Friday’s in Reagan National Airport outside Washington, two shelves are devoted to 14 varieties of vodka. Meanwhile, Boston’s übertrendy 28 Degrees restaurant boasts an astounding 22 bottles (13 brands, 15 flavors).

According to the Distilled Spirits Council of the United States, there are currently about a thousand different brands of vodka in existence. Keep in mind that the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau defines vodka as “neutral spirits [alcohol produced from any material at or above 190 degrees proof] so distilled, or so treated after distillation with charcoal or other materials, as to be without distinctive character, aroma, taste, or color.” Which means that a brand must often go to absurd lengths to distinguish itself from the rest of the pack. Consider Crystal Head Vodka, co-created by actor Dan Aykroyd, dispensed from a crystal skull and based on a mystical legend. Nostalgic for the Roaring Twenties? Pour yourself a glass of Tommy Guns Vodka, straight out of a bottle in the shape of a Thompson submachine gun. (Just ignore the fact that few Americans actually drank vodka in the 1920s.) Devotion Vodka contains a protein called casein, which contributes to a better “mouthfeel.” More important, it’s received the endorsement of Jersey Shore’s Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. And of course, there’s the quintuple-distilled Trump Vodka: As its website proclaims, “Finally, a vodka worthy of the Trump name.”

Vodka Nation

Metal Monday

Thursday games

1. Kingdom Rush

2. Torus (a round Tetris it is awesome)

Miami football scandal

Oh man, if you haven't been following this Miami football thing, you should. It is vast and fascinating. It is bigger than all the allegations and proven violations by USC, Ohio State, UConn, Tennessee, Auburn, etc, put together. By one count:

• 66 current and former Miami football players.

• 25 former NFL draft picks, including 13 first-rounders. Among the most high-profile names: Devin Hester, Vince Wilfork, D.J. Williams, Jonathan Vilma, Willis McGahee, Andre Johnson, Frank Gore, Kellen Winslow Jr. and the late Sean Taylor.

• 16 players listed on the current Miami roster, including starting quarterback Jacory Harris and All-ACC linebacker Sean Spence.

• 7 players who now play for other schools, including Florida wide receiver Andre Debose and Kansas State running back Bryce Brown, a one-time Miami commit who was ranked as the No. 1 incoming prospect in the country in 2009.

• 7 former assistant coaches with alleged "knowledge or direct participation" in violating NCAA rules.

• 2 first-round picks, Jon Beason and Vince Wilfork, who signed to an agency Shapiro allegedly co-owned, Axcess Sports & Entertainment.

Players got paid bonuses for getting celebration penalties and hurting opposing players. Kellen Winslow crashed a boat into another boat, and it was paid for. A booster bought the suit Willis McGahee wore to the Heisman ceremony. One player knocked up a stripper, who got an abortion without his knowledge. Also, it was a Ponzi-scheming convicted felon behind it. I don't see how this doesn't get the death penalty, or something identical in all but name, for both the football and basketball teams.

French toast

It's a legitimate concern

So, I am doing job applications, and when I don't recognize a school I google it. Here is the (currently) first Google review for Wiley College:

If you is a nigga the hoes are not at this skool Wiley may have abt 10 bad bitches on a good day! But it u is a gay girl u will not be alone most of are skool is gay! And abt 3/4 of the niggas are gay at this skool too so witch yo bck!

Two stars.

"Whether the New World Order is using Al-Qaeda or the other way around I'm not sure."

Sarah Palin's identity is fabricated. Obama was positioned to win the election by a landslide. I think even McCain was picked as the opponent for Obama. If you want to get a guy elected, why not elect who he is going to run against? This is why "Sarah Palin" was strategically planted as McCain's running mate. By fabricating her history Al-Qaeda, or NWO, wouldn't know if she was on their team which would create chatter and flush out those who are part of Obama's "organized community." The feds continued with this online code by wrapping it around "Sarah Palin" to gather intelligence.

"Sarah Palin" claims to be a Maverick. John McCain claims to be a Maverick The person in the Rich Jerk videos online appears to be Dallas Maverick's Mark Cuban. Sarah coined the term "mama" grizzly. Under investigation for insider trading of company called Mamma was Mark Cuban. The first forum to attack and hack me online was a forum called Friends In Business Scams 101 with the owner named Mama. Cuban is also known for financing a movie through Magnolia Pictures named "Redacted." This is anti war movie that many thought was treasonous. I imagine the release of Sarah Palin's emails, many of which were "red"acted, was timed with the Mavericks's playoff games.

[...]

Sarah's entire background is fabricated. I'm not sure how they did it, but Alaska is about half the size of the continental United States. It's also one of least densely populated, most remote areas in the US, like Hawaii in some ways. It wouldn't be difficult to build a background for her, and swap her name in anywhere the real Alaska Governor's name existed. The feds had several months to pull this off. When Sarah was announced as McCain's running mate the voice they used was similar to the voice used in video of a seminar to announce Dan Kennedy, another online expert claiming to be a copywriter.

[...]

Last, through endless interrogations it's been implied that the person who wrote the sales pitch at the Rich Jerk website is Tina Fey. Sarah Palin's "mother in law" is named "Faye" Palin. I believe that Tina Fey didn't play the look alike for Sarah Palin, but Sarah Palin was chosen as McCain's running mate, whoever she is, because she's the look alike for Tina Fey. This isn't the only reason though, she was also picked to play the average American hockey mom who could pass for a Miss Alaska pageant contestant. It looks like the only thing "Sarah" is being used for is to discredit the media. A media that is being heavily controlled now by the feds.

The feds think people are too ignorant to connect the dots and too lazy to do anything about it. Keep in mind that even they were shown this. A military Coup, or coup d'etat began with Sarah Palin in 2008. The feds acted upon all my information and much of Sarah Palin's identity is fabricated around my family and history to generate chatter from this group.

The 2012 Elections

Warning: Nobody beats Gene

Self reliance

I read the other day some verses written by an eminent painter which were original and not conventional. The soul always hears an admonition in such lines, let the subject be what it may. The sentiment they instil is of more value than any thought they may contain. To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, — that is genius. Speak your latent conviction, and it shall be the universal sense; for the inmost in due time becomes the outmost,—— and our first thought is rendered back to us by the trumpets of the Last Judgment. Familiar as the voice of the mind is to each, the highest merit we ascribe to Moses, Plato, and Milton is, that they set at naught books and traditions, and spoke not what men but what they thought. A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. Great works of art have no more affecting lesson for us than this. They teach us to abide by our spontaneous impression with good-humored inflexibility then most when the whole cry of voices is on the other side. Else, to-morrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.

There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried. Not for nothing one face, one character, one fact, makes much impression on him, and another none. This sculpture in the memory is not without preestablished harmony. The eye was placed where one ray should fall, that it might testify of that particular ray. We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents. It may be safely trusted as proportionate and of good issues, so it be faithfully imparted, but God will not have his work made manifest by cowards. A man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise, shall give him no peace. It is a deliverance which does not deliver. In the attempt his genius deserts him; no muse befriends; no invention, no hope.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

had a pretty good trip

the car in front of me at Winn Dixie

Now I may be just be a simple country Hyper-Chicken, but I think that says "Tee Tee," as in, the thing little kids call urination.

The city's ablaze, the town's on fire

tha captain announces his new book

apparently the Hotspur are made about something

guess where i'm going!

Hint: not a phish concert!

That's right! UT football game!

Computer chess

"Even among the skeptics who insisted it was a trick, there was disagreement about how the automaton worked, leading to a series of claims and counterclaims," writes author Tom Standage. "Did it rely on mechanical trickery, magnetism, or sleight of hand? Was there a dwarf, or a small child, or a legless man hidden inside it?"

Well, all of the above—or below, actually. In the rear bottom interior of the box sat a flesh-and-blood operative (by necessity a small one) who followed the human contender's moves from below and maneuvered The Turk's right hand across the table board. Nonetheless, the machine became "the most famous automaton in history," Standage notes, commented on by Charles Babbage, Edgar Allan Poe, Benjamin Franklin, and Napoleon Bonaparte.

More importantly, The Turk whetted the West's appetite for real devices that could do such things. Over two centuries later, this project culminated in Deep Blue—the IBM computer that bested Russian chess champion Gary Kasparov in 1997.

But what's most fascinating about "Mastering the Game," the Computer History Museum's computer chess exhibit, is that it frames the rise of the automated chess playing as a debate between two philosophies of computing. One emphasized the "brute force" approach, taking advantage of algorithmic power offered by ever more powerful processors available to programmers after the Second World War. The other has foregrounded the importance of teaching chess computers to select strategies and even to learn from experience—in other words, to play more like humans.

Brute Force or Intelligence? The Slow Rise of Computer Chess

Friday links

1. Museum of Hoaxes

2. Agnes the aging suit

3. Paula Deen and Craig Ferguson:

I have no idea how pointless I am, and I don't even know I'm gonna die

This makes me laugh.

That's some funky lemonade you got going there babe

CFB Dictator: the Postseason

If I were given dictatorial power to make changes in the college football landscape -- like the ancient Romans, perhaps some great crisis comes along and they concentrate all power in one man -- here is what I would do with regards to college football's postseason:

There shouldn't be a BCS, and the bowls should go back to their old tie-ins, with the major bowls played on or very close to New Year's Day. With the exception of conference champions, I would forbid bowl games from hosting teams from the same two conferences two years in a row. The following bowl games would represent conference tie-ins:

The Rose Bowl: PAC-12 vs B1G 10
The Sugar Bowl: SEC vs at-large
Orange Bowl: ACC vs at-large
Fiesta Bowl: Big East vs at-large
Cotton Bowl: The Big 12 (or whatever replaces it) vs at-large

If a minor conference team or independent goes undefeated and is ranked higher than any major conference champion, then one of the bowls must take that team. If none of the bowls with open spots are willing to do so, then the decision is made by lot.

ON PLAY-OFFS/THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP:

The push for a play-off in college football is motivated in large part by the idea that there is an inherent value in crowning a national champion. As professional baseball has the World Series, as pro football has the Super Bowl, etc etc, people think that college football must, like any other competitive sporting event, pick one team at the end of the competitive schedule and claim that team as the best team in the country.

I do not agree with this. There's no inherent value in picking a national champion, whatever the method you use. It's only important so far as the methods used to pick that champion are themselves worthwhile. Let's use the ACC football title as an example. The inherent value of being the champion of the ACC has not changed since the creation of a conference championship game following the ACC's expansion. But the mediocre games, lame match-ups, and half-empty stadiums have the ACC look bad. I think the 2008 game is the best example, a snoozer between BC and Virginia played in front of 27,000 paying customers.

Having a championship, of any kind, is only worthwhile if there is some other value in it. I don't think there's sufficient value in a college football championship game or declaration of "national champion," at least not more value than we currently have in the bowl system/regional loyalties that college football currently boasts.* No matter how fun a ten-team playoff might be, there's too much that would be lost from the current system in pursuit of a goal that's just not, when you get right down to it, that important.

That said,

IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP:

The bowls play in the first day or two of the new year. The next week, take the conference champions who won their bowl games and seed them 1-4 as based on whatever rankings you want to use (we can keep the BCS, or use the polls, but I would favor strength of schedule). In the unlikely event that all five bowl games see conference champions win their games, then use whatever ranking system you're using to pick the four candidates.

Take the other winners of the bowl games and rank them 2-4 as needed. These four teams are your playoff.

The first round would be played the first Saturday that is five or more days after the bowls are finished, and each game will be played at the home stadium of the higher ranked team. The championship game would be played the following week at a rotating location that, to avoid home fieldish advantage or a let-down-type ticket situation, cannot be the same as any of the locations use for a bowl game, conference championship game, or neutral site game that season.

So, using 2010 as an example, the major bowl match-ups might have been as follows:

The Rose Bowl: Oregon vs Ohio State
The Sugar Bowl: Auburn vs Wisconsin
Orange Bowl: Virginia Tech vs Arkansas
Fiesta Bowl: UConn vs Stanford
Cotton Bowl: Oklahoma vs TCU

Note that in this case because TCU is a conference champion, if they win, they get to the first round of conference teams eligible for the play-offs. Let's say Oregon, Auburn, Arkansas, Stanford, and TCU won. First seeding the conference champions who won their bowls, we get Auburn, Oregon, TCU seeded 1-3. Second, we need one more team, so we take Stanford, as the hypothetically highest ranked winning team besides the conference champs. The playoff would see Auburn hosting Stanford and Oregon hosting TCU. The winner of those games would meet at a neutral site for the national championship.

*This is the same reason that SEC expansion into Oklahoma or West Virginia or Virginia is a bad idea. If you were building a new conference right now, you wouldn't have two teams in Mississippi or Alabama or Tennessee, but that geographic continuity results in a social and cultural similarity that strengthens the conference and thus its football product. The SEC is more than the sum of its parts, and expansion scenarios should keep that in mind.