So far, I think it's been good-to-excellent. Of the six episodes that have been broadcast so far, only one ("Attack of the Killer Apps," the eyePhone one) has fallen flat for me. They've collectively been better than any of the movies/season five except perhaps Into the Wild Green Yonder. None have been great, and it's sure not as good as it was in its last season, in which almost every episode was absolutely great. But it's been about as good as it was in its first run, which makes it better than almost every comedy on television right now.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Futurama so far
So far, I think it's been good-to-excellent. Of the six episodes that have been broadcast so far, only one ("Attack of the Killer Apps," the eyePhone one) has fallen flat for me. They've collectively been better than any of the movies/season five except perhaps Into the Wild Green Yonder. None have been great, and it's sure not as good as it was in its last season, in which almost every episode was absolutely great. But it's been about as good as it was in its first run, which makes it better than almost every comedy on television right now.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
this just in
Dear Friend,
With warm heart I offer my friendship, and my greetings, and I hope this letter meets you in good time. It will be surprising to you to receive this proposal from me since you do not know me personally.
I got your contact address through our mutual associate Signal NICK in my search for a reliable and trustworthy person who will assist me in a business investment venture in your country. I am Capt. WESTOPHER BROWNLY, the husband of Mrs. JUICY ROGER the former president of Tri Epsilon, fraternally located in the Central Alabama. My Wife is presently impeached from office on account of having left this country in May this year.
During my spousal regime as president of TRI EPISLON, I realized US$25.540 millions of dollars (Twenty-Five Million, Five Hundred and Forty Thousand US Dollars) from various blog projects I executed successfully via TRI EPSILON. I had planned to invest this money for heavy corn whiskey consumption.
Before my husband was accounted from office, I concretely and secretly deposited this money and declared it computer lremote cards with diplomatic security company that transports valuable goods/consignment through diplomatic . As a reward I have enormous offshore holdings of heavy corn whiskey.
I wish to discuss how much I will offer you if you will be willing to assist me claim the corn whiskey and invest it in your country. I want to assure you that all modalities are put in place and it is a risk free transaction. I'm trusting you as a God fearing person who will not sit on my lifesaving fund. This business demands absolute secrecy and confidentiality, thus all communications for now should be through e-mail because all my phone lines are connected to the TRI EPISLON telecommunication network services. I will furnish you with more details when I receive your positive response.
Execute your urgent reply, through the above email address:
wbrown@3e.org
Thanks.Best regards,
Dr (Capt.) Westopher Ingloria Brownly
With warm heart I offer my friendship, and my greetings, and I hope this letter meets you in good time. It will be surprising to you to receive this proposal from me since you do not know me personally.
I got your contact address through our mutual associate Signal NICK in my search for a reliable and trustworthy person who will assist me in a business investment venture in your country. I am Capt. WESTOPHER BROWNLY, the husband of Mrs. JUICY ROGER the former president of Tri Epsilon, fraternally located in the Central Alabama. My Wife is presently impeached from office on account of having left this country in May this year.
During my spousal regime as president of TRI EPISLON, I realized US$25.540 millions of dollars (Twenty-Five Million, Five Hundred and Forty Thousand US Dollars) from various blog projects I executed successfully via TRI EPSILON. I had planned to invest this money for heavy corn whiskey consumption.
Before my husband was accounted from office, I concretely and secretly deposited this money and declared it computer lremote cards with diplomatic security company that transports valuable goods/consignment through diplomatic . As a reward I have enormous offshore holdings of heavy corn whiskey.
I wish to discuss how much I will offer you if you will be willing to assist me claim the corn whiskey and invest it in your country. I want to assure you that all modalities are put in place and it is a risk free transaction. I'm trusting you as a God fearing person who will not sit on my lifesaving fund. This business demands absolute secrecy and confidentiality, thus all communications for now should be through e-mail because all my phone lines are connected to the TRI EPISLON telecommunication network services. I will furnish you with more details when I receive your positive response.
Execute your urgent reply, through the above email address:
wbrown@3e.org
Thanks.Best regards,
Dr (Capt.) Westopher Ingloria Brownly
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Whale Wednesday
1. The Sperm Whale - Multiple Record Holder: "Mind-boggling is the best word to describe how deep they dive. If no one had ever heard of Sperm Whales (or some of the other deep diving mammals) and you asked any sensible scientist or engineer to design an air breathing animal to dive several thousand feet into the ocean, they would tell you to forget it. Can't be done. "Impossible!" they'd shout."
2. The Killer in the Pool: "Eyewitness accounts and the sheriff's investigative report make it clear that Brancheau fought hard. She was a strong swimmer, a dedicated workout enthusiast who ran marathons. But she weighed just 123 pounds and was no match for a 12,000-pound killer whale. She managed to break free and swim toward the surface, but Tilikum slammed into her. She tried again. This time he grabbed her. Her water shoes came off and floated to the surface. "He started pushing her with his nose like she was a toy," said Paula Gillespie, one of the visitors at the underwater window. SeaWorld employees urgently ushered guests away. "Will she be OK?" one asked."
3. Giant whale-eating whale found:
2. The Killer in the Pool: "Eyewitness accounts and the sheriff's investigative report make it clear that Brancheau fought hard. She was a strong swimmer, a dedicated workout enthusiast who ran marathons. But she weighed just 123 pounds and was no match for a 12,000-pound killer whale. She managed to break free and swim toward the surface, but Tilikum slammed into her. She tried again. This time he grabbed her. Her water shoes came off and floated to the surface. "He started pushing her with his nose like she was a toy," said Paula Gillespie, one of the visitors at the underwater window. SeaWorld employees urgently ushered guests away. "Will she be OK?" one asked."
3. Giant whale-eating whale found:
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Justice
-The Just-World Fallacy
You want to feel in control, so you assume as long as you avoid bad behavior, you won’t be harmed. You feel safer when you believe those who engage in bad behavior end up on the street, or pregnant, or addicted, or raped.
It is infuriating when lazy cheats and con artists get ahead in the world while firemen and policemen put in long hours for little pay.
Deep down, you want to believe hard work and virtue will lead to success, and laziness, evil and manipulation will lead to ruin, so you go ahead and edit the world to match those expectations.
Yet, in reality, evil often prospers and never pays the price.
There are anecdotal accounts of people seeing the prisoners of concentration camps for the first time and assuming they must have been terrible criminals. The first place the mind goes is the place where the world is just.
Why do you do this?
Psychologists are unsure. Some say it is a need to be able to predict the outcome of your own behavior, or to feel secure in your past decisions. More research is needed.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Garbage island
An idea for the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. I'd think bigger, really big. Even though the Pacific is something like 20,000 feet deep where the plastic is, I think the nations of the world should commit to creating an enormous artificial island there. This would take decades if not centuries, but let's think long-term. A properly-shaped course-sand island, more like a wide reef curving to catch the ocean current, would naturally filter the ocean water, catching the tiny plastic pieces.
Besides the big advantage of catching the plastic, this island could also serve a function like a reef does, providing a spawning ground etc and alleviating the "ocean desert" aspect of so much of the Pacific. And, it's always nice to have more tropical islands, especially long curvy ones that are almost entirely beachfront. I'm not sure how wide such an island would have to be to support a variety of plant and animal life, but it's probably narrower than you'd expect.
Of course it's also possible such a formation would alter the ocean's currents and, I don't know, kill all the whales or something. But I think we're gonna kill most of them off anyway. Let's take a risk.
This would be extremely difficult and time-consuming to build. There are a couple of options. Ships could pass by and dump dirt or rocks or sand for the foundation, just everyone dropping at the same GPS location until the water was shallow enough to start construction of the filtering island. Or, you could bring up sand from, say, a few miles away on the ocean floor, where it's already super deep and getting deeper wouldn't really change things.
A related idea: create a smaller (a few square miles? a scientist would know how big was necessary), round artificial island in the shape of a bowl. Pump water into the bowl, and let the sand filter it.
So, there you go, UN. Get started.
Of course, none of this matters when the earth stops spinning.
Besides the big advantage of catching the plastic, this island could also serve a function like a reef does, providing a spawning ground etc and alleviating the "ocean desert" aspect of so much of the Pacific. And, it's always nice to have more tropical islands, especially long curvy ones that are almost entirely beachfront. I'm not sure how wide such an island would have to be to support a variety of plant and animal life, but it's probably narrower than you'd expect.
Of course it's also possible such a formation would alter the ocean's currents and, I don't know, kill all the whales or something. But I think we're gonna kill most of them off anyway. Let's take a risk.
This would be extremely difficult and time-consuming to build. There are a couple of options. Ships could pass by and dump dirt or rocks or sand for the foundation, just everyone dropping at the same GPS location until the water was shallow enough to start construction of the filtering island. Or, you could bring up sand from, say, a few miles away on the ocean floor, where it's already super deep and getting deeper wouldn't really change things.
A related idea: create a smaller (a few square miles? a scientist would know how big was necessary), round artificial island in the shape of a bowl. Pump water into the bowl, and let the sand filter it.
So, there you go, UN. Get started.
Of course, none of this matters when the earth stops spinning.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
reprinted without permish
An excerpt from Scott Varagona's The GTA Chronicles:
Friday, June 26, 2009 - Went with Sean to the “3E reunion” at Wes’s. It was beyond hilarious to hear him, Charles and John talking. I watched them play “Left for Dead.”
Saturday, June 27, 2009 - Today was the first day I ever cursed in front of my friends.
On this night, Sean somehow conned me into coming over to Wes’s “to see a movie,” without telling me the movie was actually the infamous Holy Mountain. Now, as fate would have it, a Charter cable guy had come to Wes’s apartment earlier to fix something, and he had pushed Wes’s TV table out of its proper place. That caused Kevin Tolliver’s viewing angle to be poor. So, Tolliver got up and started pulling the table back towards the wall. I decided to get up and help too, from the other side. But then, an object fell from the top of the TV. Instinctively, I reached out and caught it: turns out, it was an animal bone. Wes said: “I found that bone out in the woods... It’s never been washed.” I said: “It’s never been washed?... Son of a bitch!” and ran over to the sink to wash my hands like crazy. (And I mean, like CRAZY.) The others laughed and laughed. I’d never cursed like that around my friends before! There’s a first time for everything.
Friday, June 26, 2009 - Went with Sean to the “3E reunion” at Wes’s. It was beyond hilarious to hear him, Charles and John talking. I watched them play “Left for Dead.”
Saturday, June 27, 2009 - Today was the first day I ever cursed in front of my friends.
On this night, Sean somehow conned me into coming over to Wes’s “to see a movie,” without telling me the movie was actually the infamous Holy Mountain. Now, as fate would have it, a Charter cable guy had come to Wes’s apartment earlier to fix something, and he had pushed Wes’s TV table out of its proper place. That caused Kevin Tolliver’s viewing angle to be poor. So, Tolliver got up and started pulling the table back towards the wall. I decided to get up and help too, from the other side. But then, an object fell from the top of the TV. Instinctively, I reached out and caught it: turns out, it was an animal bone. Wes said: “I found that bone out in the woods... It’s never been washed.” I said: “It’s never been washed?... Son of a bitch!” and ran over to the sink to wash my hands like crazy. (And I mean, like CRAZY.) The others laughed and laughed. I’d never cursed like that around my friends before! There’s a first time for everything.
Other rivals include Arizona, BYU, and DeVry.
Phoenix Firebirds:
The University of Phoenix is the largest private university in America with over 200,000 students at branches nationwide. UP started in 1976, started athletics in 1980, and moved up to Division I in 1983.From the fantastic Sports Argument Wiki
In 1986, UP joined the WAC and won the conference championship in football its first four years, peaking as high as #8 in the poll in 1989. Phoenix, along with UNLV, dominated the NCAA Basketball scene in 1991 with amazing center Shaquille O'Neal. Phoenix peaked as high as #2 that year, but lost to UConn in a massive first round upset. With the amazing rise in Phoenix athletics and academics and with nearly one billion dollars in reserve, the Pac 10 extended an invitation in 1996, which it accepted.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
omg
Famously bad scene. Not new or noteworthy. But I did watch the entirety of Troll 2 today and the entire movie is approximately this poorly delivered. Recommended.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Threads from Teh F0rUm as performed on stage
Bowling Alley. CHARLES and WEST sit at one lane. TEDWBROWN sits behind at an adjacent lane, reading.
CHARLES: My idea for a tragicomedy: on the night of 9/10/01, guy has first sexual experience in Tower 2, up against the glass window, leaving his drippings and soiled condoms etc all over the place. Next day, hilarity ensues when people ask, "Did you hear what happened at the World Trade Center?"
WEST: You disgust me. 9/11 should never be used for comedy, only for heavy-handed political pandering.
CHARLES: I think Giuliani's recent flame out shows that boat has long since sailed out.
WEST: And I think his flame ups have shown the ineffectiveness of Preparation H.
CHARLES sighs.
TEDWBROWN: (Without turning around) I agree with wes and the pandering.
WEST: On the other hand, pandering is such a human thing to do. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the panda.
CHARLES and WEST high five.
CHARLES: Nice. Because my politics fall fairly well into the "fringe" category, sometimes the websites I visit, even mainstream ones like Reason, have a lot of 9/11 truth movement types. It is a testament to the human spirit, and its ability to be foolish.
WEST: Because my sexual tastes fall fairly well into the "fringe" category, sometimes the websites I visit, even mainstream ones like freeones have a lot of blah blah blah. It's a testament to the human penis, and it's ability to be stuck into things.
CHARLES: I'm going to take that seriously and ask, what's fringe about your sexual tastes?
TEDWBROWN finally puts down his book and turns around, interested.
TEDWBROWN: I'm curious too.
WEST: Boobs, sticking dicks in pussies, stuff like that.
WEST makes vulgar hand gestures.
CHARLES: I was thinking scatalogical.
WEST: Gross.
TEDWBROWN: Way gross.
TEDWBROWN turns back around.
WEST: Gabe Gross.
ATTRACTIVE BLONDE walks by, wearing a t-shirt that says "I am at four lipsticks." CHARLES points.
CHARLES: I am at four lipsticks!
TEDWBROWN: Then you're not a pitbull.
WEST: You're a hockey mom.
CHARLES: How is a pitbull like a hockey mom? I've secretly filmed both of them urinating!
WEST: And Michael Vick has both of them buried in his back yard!
WEST and CHARLES high five. WEST exits, grabbing a bowling ball. TEDWBROWN continues to read.
CHARLES: Niiiiiiice. Speaking of black men, I'm still sticking with my original prediction of an Obama win, but not as large as I had expected.
TEDWBROWN: I agree with you. And I think it's ridiculous.
Reveal SCOTT who has been drunkenly sleeping out of sight next to TEDWBROWN.
SCOTT: OBAMA!!!
SCOTT groggily looks around. Hold for laughter/applause.
CHARLES: Scott, I have been trying to subtly disabuse ted of the notion that an Obama win will bring improvement or any meaningful change to America, and you aren't helping.
TEDWBROWN: Scott knows what's good for us.
TEDWBROWN pats SCOTT on the head. SCOTT smiles, eyes closed.
CHARLES: You might say he has the right prescription.
CHARLES winks in an exaggerated manner.
TEDWBROWN: The prescription is in my pants. BOOYAH!
TEDWBROWN points at his pants.
SCOTT: We learned in class today that voting for Obama will cure the common cold. Obama - he'll fix your shit.
SCOTT vomits and passes out.
TEDWBROWN: That's awesome.
TEDWBROWN shifts one seat away from SCOTT.
CHARLES: I don't know that I would trust a secret Muslim Kenyan to be my doctor. So, Scott, you're out.
TEDWBROWN: But you trust open Muslim Kenyans?
CHARLES: Well, if they're honest, yeah.
Scene.
CHARLES: My idea for a tragicomedy: on the night of 9/10/01, guy has first sexual experience in Tower 2, up against the glass window, leaving his drippings and soiled condoms etc all over the place. Next day, hilarity ensues when people ask, "Did you hear what happened at the World Trade Center?"
WEST: You disgust me. 9/11 should never be used for comedy, only for heavy-handed political pandering.
CHARLES: I think Giuliani's recent flame out shows that boat has long since sailed out.
WEST: And I think his flame ups have shown the ineffectiveness of Preparation H.
CHARLES sighs.
TEDWBROWN: (Without turning around) I agree with wes and the pandering.
WEST: On the other hand, pandering is such a human thing to do. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the panda.
CHARLES and WEST high five.
CHARLES: Nice. Because my politics fall fairly well into the "fringe" category, sometimes the websites I visit, even mainstream ones like Reason, have a lot of 9/11 truth movement types. It is a testament to the human spirit, and its ability to be foolish.
WEST: Because my sexual tastes fall fairly well into the "fringe" category, sometimes the websites I visit, even mainstream ones like freeones have a lot of blah blah blah. It's a testament to the human penis, and it's ability to be stuck into things.
CHARLES: I'm going to take that seriously and ask, what's fringe about your sexual tastes?
TEDWBROWN finally puts down his book and turns around, interested.
TEDWBROWN: I'm curious too.
WEST: Boobs, sticking dicks in pussies, stuff like that.
WEST makes vulgar hand gestures.
CHARLES: I was thinking scatalogical.
WEST: Gross.
TEDWBROWN: Way gross.
TEDWBROWN turns back around.
WEST: Gabe Gross.
ATTRACTIVE BLONDE walks by, wearing a t-shirt that says "I am at four lipsticks." CHARLES points.
CHARLES: I am at four lipsticks!
TEDWBROWN: Then you're not a pitbull.
WEST: You're a hockey mom.
CHARLES: How is a pitbull like a hockey mom? I've secretly filmed both of them urinating!
WEST: And Michael Vick has both of them buried in his back yard!
WEST and CHARLES high five. WEST exits, grabbing a bowling ball. TEDWBROWN continues to read.
CHARLES: Niiiiiiice. Speaking of black men, I'm still sticking with my original prediction of an Obama win, but not as large as I had expected.
TEDWBROWN: I agree with you. And I think it's ridiculous.
Reveal SCOTT who has been drunkenly sleeping out of sight next to TEDWBROWN.
SCOTT: OBAMA!!!
SCOTT groggily looks around. Hold for laughter/applause.
CHARLES: Scott, I have been trying to subtly disabuse ted of the notion that an Obama win will bring improvement or any meaningful change to America, and you aren't helping.
TEDWBROWN: Scott knows what's good for us.
TEDWBROWN pats SCOTT on the head. SCOTT smiles, eyes closed.
CHARLES: You might say he has the right prescription.
CHARLES winks in an exaggerated manner.
TEDWBROWN: The prescription is in my pants. BOOYAH!
TEDWBROWN points at his pants.
SCOTT: We learned in class today that voting for Obama will cure the common cold. Obama - he'll fix your shit.
SCOTT vomits and passes out.
TEDWBROWN: That's awesome.
TEDWBROWN shifts one seat away from SCOTT.
CHARLES: I don't know that I would trust a secret Muslim Kenyan to be my doctor. So, Scott, you're out.
TEDWBROWN: But you trust open Muslim Kenyans?
CHARLES: Well, if they're honest, yeah.
Scene.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Threads from Teh F0rUm as performed on stage
3E common room. Mid afternoon. RAWJERS, TEDWBROWN, and WEST sit on couches, loveseat. RAWJERS is playing Halo and seems barely interested in his surroundings. Enter CHARLES.
CHARLES: Ricardo Montalban, dead! We are a poorer nation.
WEST: Oh my God. I'm glad we watched STII:TWOK while we had the chance.
TEDWBROWN: And it's sad to think some people only know his name from a Burger King commercial.
CHARLES: I didn't even know he was in a BK commercial.
TEDWBROWN: Well I'd show you guys, but I can't find it. The one with two lions talking about rolling their r's.
CHARLES: That sounds silly. I'm glad you couldn't find it. Everyone should watch STII:TWOK. It is so awesome.
All nod in agreement.
WEST: Apparently, only 4 people in Jon Clark's two calculus II classes knew who he was.
TEDWBROWN'S phone rings. Exit TEDWBROWN.
CHARLES: I imagine if you said Fantasy Island to most undergraduates today, they would assume it had something to do with sex/pornography.
WEST: They make the same assumption when I talk about Back Seat Bangers or Captain Stabbin'.
Scattered laughter.
RAWJERS: I mostly know him as the dead guy from the title of this discussion.
Others look confused at RAWJERS'S awkward word choices.
CHARLES: John! I hope you are back for good.
Others look confused at CHARLES'S awkward word choices.
WEST: I just hope he lets us know when he gets the rest of that handjob.
RAWJERS: Unfortunately, the other half just involves me.
CHARLES: Either way, that's a video I want to watch.
WEST and CHARLES high five. RAWJERS farts.
Scene.
CHARLES: Ricardo Montalban, dead! We are a poorer nation.
WEST: Oh my God. I'm glad we watched STII:TWOK while we had the chance.
TEDWBROWN: And it's sad to think some people only know his name from a Burger King commercial.
CHARLES: I didn't even know he was in a BK commercial.
TEDWBROWN: Well I'd show you guys, but I can't find it. The one with two lions talking about rolling their r's.
CHARLES: That sounds silly. I'm glad you couldn't find it. Everyone should watch STII:TWOK. It is so awesome.
All nod in agreement.
WEST: Apparently, only 4 people in Jon Clark's two calculus II classes knew who he was.
TEDWBROWN'S phone rings. Exit TEDWBROWN.
CHARLES: I imagine if you said Fantasy Island to most undergraduates today, they would assume it had something to do with sex/pornography.
WEST: They make the same assumption when I talk about Back Seat Bangers or Captain Stabbin'.
Scattered laughter.
RAWJERS: I mostly know him as the dead guy from the title of this discussion.
Others look confused at RAWJERS'S awkward word choices.
CHARLES: John! I hope you are back for good.
Others look confused at CHARLES'S awkward word choices.
WEST: I just hope he lets us know when he gets the rest of that handjob.
RAWJERS: Unfortunately, the other half just involves me.
CHARLES: Either way, that's a video I want to watch.
WEST and CHARLES high five. RAWJERS farts.
Scene.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
From Tha Captainz Exploration Journal
1. Always moonless night.
2. Wet moss in ears.
Flecks of bark against my face, eyes. In my mouth. This has to be the last one, I've been out here for hours. No real concept of time, of course. I repress the urge to scream, to take my hand off the trunk. We're one now, mighty oak. Our bloods entwine, warming my hand, my arm all the way up to the shoulder. Flecks of bone against my face, eyes. In my mouth. The chainsaw finds release and the oak creaks and shudders as it begins its short trek inexorably towards the earth. The last one. Has to be. I don't have much arm left. I make camp and prepare for sleep.
1. Hot engine seals arm no more blood.
2. Lay down.
The morning will reveal the new forest. A humble forest no longer so vain as to reach toward the sky and away from the earth that nurtures it. A forest with a slope of zero rather than one undefined. The earth prefers her children not to divide by zero.
Friday, July 09, 2010
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Monday, July 05, 2010
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Eating
The specialization of production induces specialization of consumption. Patrons of the entertainment industry, for example, entertain themselves less and less and have become more and more passively dependent on commercial suppliers. This is certainly true also of patrons of the food industry, who have tended more and more to be mere consumers — passive, uncritical, and dependent. Indeed, this sort of consumption may be said to be one of the chief goals of industrial production. The food industrialists have by now persuaded millions of consumers to prefer food that is already prepared. They will grow, deliver, and cook your food for you and (just like your mother) beg you to eat it. That they do not yet offer to insert it, prechewed, into our mouth is only because they have found no profitable way to do so. We may rest assured that they would be glad to find such a way. The ideal industrial food consumer would be strapped to a table with a tube running from the food factory directly into his or her stomach.Wendell Berry, "The Pleasures of Eating"
Perhaps I exaggerate, but not by much. The industrial eater is, in fact, one who does not know that eating is an agricultural act, who no longer knows or imagines the connections between eating and the land, and who is therefore necessarily passive and uncritical — in short, a victim. When food, in the minds of eaters, is no longer associated with farming and with the land, then the eaters are suffering a kind of cultural amnesia that is misleading and dangerous. The current version of the "dream home" of the future involves "effortless" shopping from a list of available goods on a television monitor and heating precooked food by remote control. Of course, this implies and depends on, a perfect ignorance of the history of the food that is consumed. It requires that the citizenry should give up their hereditary and sensible aversion to buying a pig in a poke. It wishes to make the selling of pigs in pokes an honorable and glamorous activity. The dreams in this dream home will perforce know nothing about the kind or quality of this food, or where it came from, or how it was produced and prepared, or what ingredients, additives, and residues it contains — unless, that is, the dreamer undertakes a close and constant study of the food industry, in which case he or she might as well wake up and play an active an responsible part in the economy of food.
Friday, July 02, 2010
this just in
changes found on Uruguay's Wikipedia page:
teehee.
HANDBALL CHEATERS (pronounced /CHEEEEEEEE-TERS/ (listen), Spanish pronunciation: [uɾuˈɣwai]), officially the Oriental Republic of Soccer Cheating Uruguay[1][4]
teehee.
3E fan nonfiction
SCENE IV. The court.
Enter JUICEBOT, with BAGOT and GREEN at one door; and the DUKE OF AUMERLE at another
JUICEBOT
We did observe. Cousin Aumerle,
How far brought you high Hereford on his way?
DUKE OF AUMERLE
I brought high Hereford, if you call him so,
But to the next highway, and there I left him.
JUICEBOT
And say, what store of parting tears were shed?
DUKE OF AUMERLE
Faith, none for me; except the north-east wind,
Which then blew bitterly against our faces,
Awaked the sleeping rheum, and so by chance
Did grace our hollow parting with a tear.
JUICEBOT
What said our cousin when you parted with him?
DUKE OF AUMERLE
'Farewell:'
And, for my heart disdained that my tongue
Should so profane the word, that taught me craft
To counterfeit oppression of such grief
That words seem'd buried in my sorrow's grave.
Marry, would the word 'farewell' have lengthen'd hours
And added years to his short banishment,
He should have had a volume of farewells;
But since it would not, he had none of me.
JUICEBOT
He is our cousin, cousin; but 'tis doubt,
When time shall call him home from banishment,
Whether our kinsman come to see his friends.
Ourself and Bushy, Bagot here and Green
Observed his courtship to the common people;
How he did seem to dive into their hearts
With humble and familiar courtesy,
What reverence he did throw away on slaves,
Wooing poor craftsmen with the craft of smiles
And patient underbearing of his fortune,
As 'twere to banish their affects with him.
Off goes his bonnet to an oyster-wench;
A brace of draymen bid God speed him well
And had the tribute of his supple knee,
With 'Thanks, my countrymen, my loving friends;'
As were our England in reversion his,
And he our subjects' next degree in hope.
GREEN
Well, he is gone; and with him go these thoughts.
Now for the rebels which stand out in Ireland,
Expedient manage must be made, my liege,
Ere further leisure yield them further means
For their advantage and your highness' loss.
JUICEBOT
We will ourself in person to this war:
And, for our coffers, with too great a court
And liberal largess, are grown somewhat light,
We are inforced to farm our royal realm;
The revenue whereof shall furnish us
For our affairs in hand: if that come short,
Our substitutes at home shall have blank charters;
Whereto, when they shall know what men are rich,
They shall subscribe them for large sums of gold
And send them after to supply our wants;
For we will make for Ireland presently.
Enter BUSHY
Bushy, what news?
BUSHY
Old John of Gaunt is grievous sick, my lord,
Suddenly taken; and hath sent post haste
To entreat your majesty to visit him.
JUICEBOT
Where lies he?
BUSHY
At Ely House.
JUICEBOT
Now put it, God, in the physician's mind
To help him to his grave immediately!
The lining of his coffers shall make coats
To deck our soldiers for these Irish wars.
Come, gentlemen, let's all go visit him:
Pray God we may make haste, and come too late!
All
Amen.
Exeunt
Enter JUICEBOT, with BAGOT and GREEN at one door; and the DUKE OF AUMERLE at another
JUICEBOT
We did observe. Cousin Aumerle,
How far brought you high Hereford on his way?
DUKE OF AUMERLE
I brought high Hereford, if you call him so,
But to the next highway, and there I left him.
JUICEBOT
And say, what store of parting tears were shed?
DUKE OF AUMERLE
Faith, none for me; except the north-east wind,
Which then blew bitterly against our faces,
Awaked the sleeping rheum, and so by chance
Did grace our hollow parting with a tear.
JUICEBOT
What said our cousin when you parted with him?
DUKE OF AUMERLE
'Farewell:'
And, for my heart disdained that my tongue
Should so profane the word, that taught me craft
To counterfeit oppression of such grief
That words seem'd buried in my sorrow's grave.
Marry, would the word 'farewell' have lengthen'd hours
And added years to his short banishment,
He should have had a volume of farewells;
But since it would not, he had none of me.
JUICEBOT
He is our cousin, cousin; but 'tis doubt,
When time shall call him home from banishment,
Whether our kinsman come to see his friends.
Ourself and Bushy, Bagot here and Green
Observed his courtship to the common people;
How he did seem to dive into their hearts
With humble and familiar courtesy,
What reverence he did throw away on slaves,
Wooing poor craftsmen with the craft of smiles
And patient underbearing of his fortune,
As 'twere to banish their affects with him.
Off goes his bonnet to an oyster-wench;
A brace of draymen bid God speed him well
And had the tribute of his supple knee,
With 'Thanks, my countrymen, my loving friends;'
As were our England in reversion his,
And he our subjects' next degree in hope.
GREEN
Well, he is gone; and with him go these thoughts.
Now for the rebels which stand out in Ireland,
Expedient manage must be made, my liege,
Ere further leisure yield them further means
For their advantage and your highness' loss.
JUICEBOT
We will ourself in person to this war:
And, for our coffers, with too great a court
And liberal largess, are grown somewhat light,
We are inforced to farm our royal realm;
The revenue whereof shall furnish us
For our affairs in hand: if that come short,
Our substitutes at home shall have blank charters;
Whereto, when they shall know what men are rich,
They shall subscribe them for large sums of gold
And send them after to supply our wants;
For we will make for Ireland presently.
Enter BUSHY
Bushy, what news?
BUSHY
Old John of Gaunt is grievous sick, my lord,
Suddenly taken; and hath sent post haste
To entreat your majesty to visit him.
JUICEBOT
Where lies he?
BUSHY
At Ely House.
JUICEBOT
Now put it, God, in the physician's mind
To help him to his grave immediately!
The lining of his coffers shall make coats
To deck our soldiers for these Irish wars.
Come, gentlemen, let's all go visit him:
Pray God we may make haste, and come too late!
All
Amen.
Exeunt
Friday links
Think you're fit? What about ZombieFit?
Unrelated: several 3E birthdays are coming up. Don't know what to get?
It would take 117 days to crack my password system.
Unrelated: several 3E birthdays are coming up. Don't know what to get?
It would take 117 days to crack my password system.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Robert Byrd could play the fiddle
The world would be better if more politicians spent their time as mediocre bluegrass musicians as opposed to narcissistic sociopaths.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Could you get any lamer
The new options for the Ole Miss mascot are an unsurprising mix of the silly and the predictable. Whatever they pick will probably be terrible.
If I were picking, they'd drop Rebels entirely. Instead, they'd be the Mississippi Rivers. A student dressed as a riverboat captain would be the sideline mascot. Every year before the Egg Bowl, the football team would catch an enormous catfish by hand and display it during the game in a big tank. If they won, they'd release the fish (who would be named Colonel Reb). If they lost, they feed it to a homeless shelter.
If I were picking, they'd drop Rebels entirely. Instead, they'd be the Mississippi Rivers. A student dressed as a riverboat captain would be the sideline mascot. Every year before the Egg Bowl, the football team would catch an enormous catfish by hand and display it during the game in a big tank. If they won, they'd release the fish (who would be named Colonel Reb). If they lost, they feed it to a homeless shelter.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Saturday links
1. Highlights Magazine: The Evil Version
2. 50 States in a Week's Vacation
3. Tarrare "was a French showman and soldier, noted for his unusual eating habits. Able to eat vast amounts of meat, he was constantly hungry; his parents were unable to provide for him, and he was turned out of the family home as a teenager [...] After falling under suspicion of eating a toddler he was ejected from the hospital."
4. Bigfoot Encounters
2. 50 States in a Week's Vacation
3. Tarrare "was a French showman and soldier, noted for his unusual eating habits. Able to eat vast amounts of meat, he was constantly hungry; his parents were unable to provide for him, and he was turned out of the family home as a teenager [...] After falling under suspicion of eating a toddler he was ejected from the hospital."
4. Bigfoot Encounters
Friday, June 25, 2010
lolz
Dear Prof Goeters Pat ,
In the course of a research at the Auburn University , I came across the dissertation:
‘ Torsionless Modules and Minimal Generating Sets for Ideals of Integral Domains ‘ written by your former student, BROWN WESLEY , in year 2006 .
As we would like to make the work available to a larger audience, I would be interested to get in touch with your former student to find out if he/she would like to submit the manuscript for review.
Therefore, I would be grateful if you would be so kind as to provide me with the email address or even simply forward this e-mail. Thank you.
Kind regards,
--
Kamini Gobin
Acquisition Editor
LAP Lambert Academic Publishing AG & Co. KG
Dudweiler Landstraße 99,
66123 Saarbrücken, Germany
Fon +49 681 3720-310
Fax +49 681 3720-3109
k.gobin@lappublishing.com / www.lappublishing.com
Handelsregister Amtsgericht Saarbrücken HRA 10752
Partner with unlimited liability
VDM Verwaltung Aktiengesellschaft
Handelsregister Amtsgericht Saarbrücken HRB 16777
Board of Directors: Dr. Wolfgang Müller (CEO), Christoph Schulligen and Esther von Krosigk
Supervisory Board: Prof. Dr. Johannes G. Bischoff (Chairman), RA Thomas Bischoff, RA André Gottschalk
In the course of a research at the Auburn University , I came across the dissertation:
‘ Torsionless Modules and Minimal Generating Sets for Ideals of Integral Domains ‘ written by your former student, BROWN WESLEY , in year 2006 .
As we would like to make the work available to a larger audience, I would be interested to get in touch with your former student to find out if he/she would like to submit the manuscript for review.
Therefore, I would be grateful if you would be so kind as to provide me with the email address or even simply forward this e-mail. Thank you.
Kind regards,
--
Kamini Gobin
Acquisition Editor
LAP Lambert Academic Publishing AG & Co. KG
Dudweiler Landstraße 99,
66123 Saarbrücken, Germany
Fon +49 681 3720-310
Fax +49 681 3720-3109
k.gobin@lappublishing.com / www.lappublishing.com
Handelsregister Amtsgericht Saarbrücken HRA 10752
Partner with unlimited liability
VDM Verwaltung Aktiengesellschaft
Handelsregister Amtsgericht Saarbrücken HRB 16777
Board of Directors: Dr. Wolfgang Müller (CEO), Christoph Schulligen and Esther von Krosigk
Supervisory Board: Prof. Dr. Johannes G. Bischoff (Chairman), RA Thomas Bischoff, RA André Gottschalk
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Do you know what happens tonight?
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Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
The Chase for 2 goals per game
First 16 games: 25 goals (1.5625 per game)
Second 16 games: 42 goals (2.625 per game)
Total: 67 goals (2.09375 per game)
Told you it would open up. The seven that Portugal put past Evil Korea helped. For reference, the all-time list:
5.385 : Switzerland 1954
4.667 : France 1938
4.118 : Italy 1934
4.000 : Brazil 1950
3.889 : Uruguay 1930
3.600 : Sweden 1958
2.969 : Mexico 1970
2.808 : Spain 1982
2.781 : Chile 1962
2.781 : England 1966
2.712 : United States 1994
2.684 : Argentina 1978
2.672 : France 1998
2.553 : West Germany 1974
2.538 : Mexico 1986
2.516 : Korea/Japan 2002
2.297 : Germany 2006
2.212 : Italy 1990
Note that the top six were the first six world cups.
Second 16 games: 42 goals (2.625 per game)
Total: 67 goals (2.09375 per game)
Told you it would open up. The seven that Portugal put past Evil Korea helped. For reference, the all-time list:
5.385 : Switzerland 1954
4.667 : France 1938
4.118 : Italy 1934
4.000 : Brazil 1950
3.889 : Uruguay 1930
3.600 : Sweden 1958
2.969 : Mexico 1970
2.808 : Spain 1982
2.781 : Chile 1962
2.781 : England 1966
2.712 : United States 1994
2.684 : Argentina 1978
2.672 : France 1998
2.553 : West Germany 1974
2.538 : Mexico 1986
2.516 : Korea/Japan 2002
2.297 : Germany 2006
2.212 : Italy 1990
Note that the top six were the first six world cups.
Edging Mike Leach and Tommy Tuberville in our hearts
Selections from the month of May from Jim Harbaugh's apparently real Twitter feed.
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead...
[...]
A lot of attention goes to our players on the field and in the classroom. But I am most proud of the moral character they display each day.
[...]
Congratulations to Newark (N.J.) Mayor @CoryBooker on his re-election! Proud Cardinal Football alum, Rhodes Scholar and world-changer.
My favorite 5 T.V. shows of all time: 1. The Rockford Files 2. "24" 3. The Twilight Zone (Rod Serling) 4. The Office 5. Curb Your Enthusiasm
Sept. 11 at UCLA - ESPN; Sept. 18 vs Wake Forest - ESPN2; Sept. 25 at Notre Dame - NBC; Oct. 2 at Oregon - ESPN; Oct. 9 vs USC - ABC.
Excited for the Cardinal program to have five straight games on national TV in our early 2010 season schedule. Unprecedented.
I am really looking forward to tonight's episode of 24. I am also contemplating changing my name to Jim HarBauer,
Monday, June 21, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Friday Map Link
Where Americans Are Moving: click on one county to see all the movement between that county and other counties. Not as useful as it could be, but still fun.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Stupid terrorists
But this view of the jihadist community is wildly off the mark. To be sure, some terrorists are steely and skilled—people like Mohamed Atta, the careful and well-trained head of the 9/11 hijackers. Their leaders and recruiters can be lethally subtle and manipulative, but the quiet truth is that many of the deluded foot soldiers are foolish and untrained, perhaps even untrainable. Acknowledging this fact could help us tailor our counterterrorism priorities—and publicizing it could help us erode the powerful images of strength and piety that terrorists rely on for recruiting and funding.
Nowhere is the gap between sinister stereotype and ridiculous reality more apparent than in Afghanistan, where it’s fair to say that the Taliban employ the world’s worst suicide bombers: one in two manages to kill only himself. And this success rate hasn’t improved at all in the five years they’ve been using suicide bombers, despite the experience of hundreds of attacks—or attempted attacks. In Afghanistan, as in many cultures, a manly embrace is a time-honored tradition for warriors before they go off to face death. Thus, many suicide bombers never even make it out of their training camp or safe house, as the pressure from these group hugs triggers the explosives in suicide vests. According to several sources at the United Nations, as many as six would-be suicide bombers died last July after one such embrace in Paktika.The Case for Calling Them Nitwits
Relax the sphincter....
release the fixtures. A little reminder of how rare it is that a soccer fan has to go more than a couple of months without a competitive game to watch. Less than two months til the new premier league season. Also too, a harsh reminder of how short the college football season is. Cherish the special moments.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
so far, so lame.
16 games played. 25 goals scored. It's early but no World Cup has ever averaged fewer than 2 goals per game. It should open up with the second dose of group games beginning this afternoon as many teams can no longer afford to play cagily for the draw.
Most impressive teams so far? Germany easily tops the list. South Korea was also solid. Can't be a coincidence that the crappiest of the bunch were Australia and Greece, the teams lucky enough to have witnessed the greatness of the Germans and Koreans. Argentina was probably better than the one goal they ended up scoring.
Upsets by Japan over Cameroon and Switzerland over Spain will reinforce the idea that the results of organized, defensive soccer can justify its mind-numbingness.
Most impressive teams so far? Germany easily tops the list. South Korea was also solid. Can't be a coincidence that the crappiest of the bunch were Australia and Greece, the teams lucky enough to have witnessed the greatness of the Germans and Koreans. Argentina was probably better than the one goal they ended up scoring.
Upsets by Japan over Cameroon and Switzerland over Spain will reinforce the idea that the results of organized, defensive soccer can justify its mind-numbingness.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Conference re-alignment becomes conference renaming
So, basically, the Big-10 and Big XII are just switching names?
Color me confused. I guess Nebraska and Colorado come out of this in better shape, plus whoever else joins the Pac-12. But why all the excitement?
Color me confused. I guess Nebraska and Colorado come out of this in better shape, plus whoever else joins the Pac-12. But why all the excitement?
Monday, June 14, 2010
Monday C+H
In the movie Fight Club, the real name of the protagonist (Ed Norton's character) is never revealed. And while some feel the only reason behind this is to give the character more of an "everyman" quality, I say, do not be deceived. Because it's obvious to anyone with working eyes that "Jack" is actually someone whom many of us grew up with, someone who might've been present at all your childhood breakfasts of Sugar Frosted Chocolate Bombs. You see, "Jack" from Fight Club and Calvin from the greatest comic strip ever, "Calvin and Hobbes," are in fact the exact same person! You have doubts, I'm sure. Well, that's to be expected. But laugh now, for by the time you finish reading this page, I will prove to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ed Norton is indeed playing the part of grown-up Calvin.Calvin & Hobbes vs. Fight Club
It's very similar to Garfield minus Garfield, but Calvin minus Hobbes has a totally different (and depressing) flavor.
Travel plans
So, before last weekend, my general rule was that I would fly anywhere that I had to travel alone if the drive were more than 8 hours. Thanks to the massive incompetence of Delta and US Air, now that limit has been bumped up to 10-12 hours. Thanks, airline retards!
Labels:
complaints,
hijacking an airplane,
summer plans,
travel
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Nintendo Saturday
Nintendo8, which has a bunch of NES games you can play right in that dang old internet browser. It also has links to other game sites like Dos Dose. Their games aren't quite as awesome as the orignals (Bubble Bobble needs two players to be enjoyable) but it's still pretty fun.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Elephants
TUCSON, AZ—Cheers, laughter, and applause filled the big top tent at the Ringling Bros. Circus Saturday as children of all ages were captivated by the savage enslavement of Topsy the elephant.Children Of All Ages Delighted By Enslavement Of Topsy The Elephant
Whether young or just young at heart, thrilled audience members watched with glee as a circus trainer forced the frightened Topsy to perform tricks by brutally poking and prodding the traumatized 4-year-old pachyderm.
"He's such a funny happy elephant," said 8-year-old Madison Helms, referring to the abused creature that spends the majority of his time chained up in a cramped, feces-covered enclosure. "He loves being in the circus!"
The crowd reportedly let out loud gasps and vigorously clapped when Topsy stood up on his hind legs, an unnatural and excruciatingly painful movement that stresses and permanently damages the 8,000-pound elephant's joints.
Labels:
animals,
legitimate news sources,
links,
The Onion
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Intellectual property rights
This Tuesday, millions of eyes will be glued to the season finale of Glee — a popular musical comedy airing on Fox. Excitement is building among the show’s viewership, but my own enthusiasm for Glee has recently given way to confusion over its message.Copyright: The Elephant in the Middle of the Glee Club
The fictional high school chorus at the center of the show has a huge problem, you see — nearly a million dollars in potential legal liability. For a show that regularly tackles thorny issues like teen pregnancy and alcohol abuse, it’s surprising that a million dollars worth of lawbreaking would go unmentioned. But it does, and week after week, those zany Glee kids rack up the potential to pay higher and higher fines.
In one recent episode, the AV Club helps cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester film a near-exact copy of Madonna’s Vogue music video (the real-life fine for copying Madonna’s original? up to $150,000). Just a few episodes later, a video of Sue dancing to Olivia Newton-John’s 1981 hit Physical is posted online (damages for recording the entirety of Physical on Sue’s camcorder: up to $300,000). And let’s not forget the glee club’s many mash-ups — songs created by mixing together two other musical pieces. Each mash-up is a “preparation of a derivative work” of the original two songs’ compositions – an action for which there is no compulsory license available, meaning (in plain English) that if the Glee kids were a real group of teenagers, they could not feasibly ask for — or hope to get — the copyright permissions they would need to make their songs, and their actions, legal under copyright law. Punishment for making each mash-up? Up to another $150,000 — times two.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Monday, June 07, 2010
Dragon
This thing is pretty cool, but I just really wanted to point out that it's Grand Illusions selling their most popular item, Dragon Illusion, making this a Grand Dragon Illusion.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Vexillological World Cup: Semis
England 2 - 2 Denmark
(Denmark wins 4 - 3 on penalties)
Germany 1 - 3 Slovakia
SUSPENSE!
(Denmark wins 4 - 3 on penalties)
Germany 1 - 3 Slovakia
SUSPENSE!
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Friday, June 04, 2010
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Vexillological World Cup: Quarters
Aw shit. Surrious.
Uruguay 0 - 3 England
Is England really that good? No!
Denmark 2 - 1 Switzerland
Yeah, we like crossy type flags. BUT TOUCH THE EDGES.
Argentina 2 - 3 Germany
Fuck you, jews.
Slovakia 3 - 1 Honduras
Again, we hang it on our wall.
Semifinals:
England
Denmark
Germany
Slovakia
It was always going to be Eurocentric unless Botswana or Trinidad somehow made it this far.
Uruguay 0 - 3 England
Is England really that good? No!
Denmark 2 - 1 Switzerland
Yeah, we like crossy type flags. BUT TOUCH THE EDGES.
Argentina 2 - 3 Germany
Fuck you, jews.
Slovakia 3 - 1 Honduras
Again, we hang it on our wall.
Semifinals:
England
Denmark
Germany
Slovakia
It was always going to be Eurocentric unless Botswana or Trinidad somehow made it this far.
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Two math links
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Hobbit model Saturday
This is some pretty impressive scale modeling.
My name is Maddie Chambers and this all began when I was a young child and read the Hobbit for the first time. I believe I was about 10 and I was instantly hooked. My Nanan lent me her copy of the Lord of the Rings about 1 year later and I remember thinking that the trilogy leaped into a far more complex world and one that I completely lost myself in. I have read Lord of the Rings about 20+ times now and each time it holds as much magic as the first time.Example:
Friday, May 28, 2010
Poets in government
This formal and clever poet must find some such sense of the comic necessary, as he changes places each morning with that formal and intelligent commissioner of Social Security—since, as you’ve probably already guessed, they are one and the same person. Michael J. Astrue is the best poet ever to hold a truly major appointed position in the American government. And A.M. Juster is the best senior civil servant of whom American poetry can boast."Regard the Scuttlebutt as True"
The question, of course, is why this double life of a public persona? Why has this former head of a major biotech firm, a lawyer, and a public servant chosen to share the same shadow as this very private poet with the sensitivity of a W.H. Auden mixed with the scathing wit of a Jonathan Swift? An even more fascinating question is why Astrue has for so long insisted on keeping these two identities separate. Years ago, when the poet X.J. Kennedy asked him why he insisted on using a pseudonym, Astrue told him that the main reason was that he didn’t want to be known as a novelty act—which, in truth, is more a dodge than an answer.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Spintrias
Ancient Roman coins with sex scenes:
They were used in ancient Rome to request and pay for different “services” in brothels and from prostitutes on the street. Since there were a lot of foreigners coming to the city that did not speak the language and most of the prostitutes were slaves captured from other places the coins made the transactions easy and efficient. One side of these coins showed what the buyer wanted and the other showed the amount of money to be paid for the act.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
A Conference Expansion Post
Everyone is treating the current round of conference expansion as if it's a given that the Big 10 will act, the SEC will respond, and the ACC/Big 12/Big East will scramble to recover.
That's probably true. But I think that it's time to strike for the little conferences. This is particularly true for the ACC, which risks losing some members should the SEC get hungry. The ACC model as it stands clearly isn't working -- their hilariously half-filled conference championship football games and dearth of legitimate national title contenders being the best examples. In football, the ACC is broken.
Basketball-wise, though, it's working pretty well. So the ACC should act with three things in mind:
1. Strengthen or at least don't further dilute your football brand.
2. Improve your conference's basketball prestige.
3. Prepare for the inevitable incursions of the SEC (and, possibly, the Big 10).
With that in mind, the ACC should consider expansion early, while it can get the drop on folks. I doubt the ACC will, because expansion was a mistake last time, and they got a bad reputation from it. But, as I said above, the conference obviously needs fixing. Further, who cares what people think?
If I were in charge of the ACC, we'd go for sixteen teams divided into two north-south divisions.
The Southern would include FSU, Miami, Clemson, Georgia Tech, and the four North Carolina schools. This would be the stronger division in both football and (especially) basketball.
The Northern Division would include current members Virginia Tech, Virginia, Maryland, and Boston College. Four additional teams would be added. I would make an offer to Penn State first, agreeing to pretty much whatever they want, but they wouldn't move. Instead, I'd have to raid the Big East for Pittsburgh, Louisville, West Virginia, and UConn.
The South is tougher either way. But I think it's a big improvement over the current conference in football, for a couple of reasons. First, while the South is a lot stronger, the North is deeper -- there's nobody that is a pit of football despair like Duke. Second, the conference championship game is almost certainly going to include one of the Florida teams, Clemson, or Georgia Tech, which should improve ratings and attendance.
As far as basketball goes, who cares how even the divisions are?
That's probably true. But I think that it's time to strike for the little conferences. This is particularly true for the ACC, which risks losing some members should the SEC get hungry. The ACC model as it stands clearly isn't working -- their hilariously half-filled conference championship football games and dearth of legitimate national title contenders being the best examples. In football, the ACC is broken.
Basketball-wise, though, it's working pretty well. So the ACC should act with three things in mind:
1. Strengthen or at least don't further dilute your football brand.
2. Improve your conference's basketball prestige.
3. Prepare for the inevitable incursions of the SEC (and, possibly, the Big 10).
With that in mind, the ACC should consider expansion early, while it can get the drop on folks. I doubt the ACC will, because expansion was a mistake last time, and they got a bad reputation from it. But, as I said above, the conference obviously needs fixing. Further, who cares what people think?
If I were in charge of the ACC, we'd go for sixteen teams divided into two north-south divisions.
The Southern would include FSU, Miami, Clemson, Georgia Tech, and the four North Carolina schools. This would be the stronger division in both football and (especially) basketball.
The Northern Division would include current members Virginia Tech, Virginia, Maryland, and Boston College. Four additional teams would be added. I would make an offer to Penn State first, agreeing to pretty much whatever they want, but they wouldn't move. Instead, I'd have to raid the Big East for Pittsburgh, Louisville, West Virginia, and UConn.
The South is tougher either way. But I think it's a big improvement over the current conference in football, for a couple of reasons. First, while the South is a lot stronger, the North is deeper -- there's nobody that is a pit of football despair like Duke. Second, the conference championship game is almost certainly going to include one of the Florida teams, Clemson, or Georgia Tech, which should improve ratings and attendance.
As far as basketball goes, who cares how even the divisions are?
Vexillological World Cup: Knockout Stage
Don't remember what the flags look like? Fuck you!
Uruguay 2 - 1 Greece
England 3 - 3 Serbia
(England win 5 - 4 on penalties)
Denmark 2 - 0 New Zealand
Portugal 0 - 1 Switzerland
Argentina 2 - 1 France
Germany 3 - 2 Algeria
Slovakia 4 - 1 Holland
Honduras 1 - 0 North Korea
So, our quarterfinals look (if you could remember what they look like!) like this:
Uruguay
England
Denmark
Switzerland
Argentina
Germany
Slovakia
Honduras
Pretty stupid!
Uruguay 2 - 1 Greece
England 3 - 3 Serbia
(England win 5 - 4 on penalties)
Denmark 2 - 0 New Zealand
Portugal 0 - 1 Switzerland
Argentina 2 - 1 France
Germany 3 - 2 Algeria
Slovakia 4 - 1 Holland
Honduras 1 - 0 North Korea
So, our quarterfinals look (if you could remember what they look like!) like this:
Uruguay
England
Denmark
Switzerland
Argentina
Germany
Slovakia
Honduras
Pretty stupid!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Bananas
The humble banana almost seems like a miracle of nature. Colourful, nutritious, and much cherished by children, monkeys and clowns, it has a favoured position in the planet’s fruitbowls. The banana is vitally important in many regions of the tropics, where different parts of the plant are used for clothing, paper and tableware, and where the fruit itself is an essential dietary staple. People across the globe appreciate the soft, nourishing flesh, the snack-sized portions, and the easy-peel covering that conveniently changes colour to indicate ripeness. Individual fruit—or fingers—sit comfortably in the human hand, readily detached from their close-packed companions. Indeed, the banana appears almost purpose-designed for efficient human consumption and distribution. It is difficult to conceive of a more fortuitous fruit.The Unfortunate Sex Life of the Banana
The banana, however, is a freakish and fragile genetic mutant; one that has survived through the centuries due to the sustained application of selective breeding by diligent humans. Indeed, the “miraculous” banana is far from being a no-strings-attached gift from nature. Its cheerful appearance hides a fatal flaw— one that threatens its proud place in the grocery basket. The banana’s problem can be summed up in a single word: sex.
2012 Olympics
Have you seen the new Olympic mascots for the 2012 London games?

Ye gods. You can't really tell from that picture, but the one on the right (I think he's the one for the special Olympics) is wearing a crotchless leotard. The other one has the famous "Lisa Simpson giving a blowjob" logo on the front.
You can tell in the even stupider costumes, though.

Goodness that is terrifying. I am fairly certain that blue one fought Godzilla in a special child-rape episode. This is shaping up to be the least aesthetic event ever in that orgy of nationalism, corruption, and waste.
The worst part is that the two symbols of England are the lion and the bulldog, two of the most awesome animals out there. It's even worse than when the Olympics were in Atlanta* and the mascot wasn't a failing inner-city school system.
*I still have an Izzy key chain, though I don't use it.
Ye gods. You can't really tell from that picture, but the one on the right (I think he's the one for the special Olympics) is wearing a crotchless leotard. The other one has the famous "Lisa Simpson giving a blowjob" logo on the front.
You can tell in the even stupider costumes, though.
Goodness that is terrifying. I am fairly certain that blue one fought Godzilla in a special child-rape episode. This is shaping up to be the least aesthetic event ever in that orgy of nationalism, corruption, and waste.
The worst part is that the two symbols of England are the lion and the bulldog, two of the most awesome animals out there. It's even worse than when the Olympics were in Atlanta* and the mascot wasn't a failing inner-city school system.
*I still have an Izzy key chain, though I don't use it.
Vexillological World Cup: Knockout Stage
The bracket (imagine there's a bracket):
Uruguay (Gp A Winner)
Greece (Gp B Runner-Up)
England (Gp C Winner)
Serbia (Gp D Runner-Up)
Denmark(Gp E Winner)
New Zealand (Gp F Runner-Up)
Portugal (Gp G Winner)
Switzerland (Gp H Runner-Up)
Argentina (Gp B Winner)
France (Gp A Runner-Up)
Germany (Gp D Winner)
Algeria (Gp C Runner-Up)
Slovakia (Gp F Winner)
Holland (Gp E Runner-Up)
Honduras (Gp H Winner)
North Korea (Gp G Runner-Up)
Uruguay (Gp A Winner)
Greece (Gp B Runner-Up)
England (Gp C Winner)
Serbia (Gp D Runner-Up)
Denmark(Gp E Winner)
New Zealand (Gp F Runner-Up)
Portugal (Gp G Winner)
Switzerland (Gp H Runner-Up)
Argentina (Gp B Winner)
France (Gp A Runner-Up)
Germany (Gp D Winner)
Algeria (Gp C Runner-Up)
Slovakia (Gp F Winner)
Holland (Gp E Runner-Up)
Honduras (Gp H Winner)
North Korea (Gp G Runner-Up)
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
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