What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun? One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but MARF abideth for ever.
Old Mist -37.5
Mississippi St. -14
Georgia -10.5
Auburn -23.5
Mizzou -11
Kentucky -1.5
Arkansas -29.5
LSU -30.5
Lotta minuses up there, ha ha.
{v}
1. {v}294.25 on Auburn -3000 to win {v}9.81
2. {v}9.81 on Florida +325 to win {v}31.88
Louisiana-Monroe at Old Mist -37.5: That seems like a pick.
Southern Miss +14 at Mississippi State: okay
Georgia -10.5 at Tennessee: Georgia is good again.
New Mexico State +23.5 at Auburn: This line seems insanely high, but then Auburn has been playing really well lately. Tough.
Florida at Missouri -11: Weird for Florida to be so mid.
Kentucky -1.5 at South Carolina: Feels like another line I do not understand.
Florida International +29.5 at Arkansas: piggies vs panthers
Georgia State +30.5 at LSU: These are stupid games this week
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}400 on Georgia -400, to win {v}100 would love to be wrong
Gimme {v}77 on Kentucky -1.5, to win {v}70
Louisiana-Monroe +5000, at Old Mist -100000, -37.5 T:62.5
Southern Miss +425 at Mississippi State -600, -14 T:46.5
Georgia -400, -10.5 at Tennessee +310 T:58.5
New Mexico State +1200 at Auburn -3000, -23.5 T:48.5
Florida +325 at Missouri -450, -11 T:59.5
Kentucky -125, -1.5 at South Carolina +105 T:54.5
Florida International +3000 at Arkansas -10000, -29.5 T:51.5
Georgia State +3000 at LSU -10000, -30.5 T:71.5
MARF: 5-2 (39-40-2); {v}1,115.58
BARF: 5-2 (48-31-2); {v}1,216.22
Alabama, -10.5 at Kentucky: Alabama is good again.
Vanderbilt at South Carolina -13.5: Vanderbilt is bad again.
Tennessee -1 at Missouri: don't know
Auburn +3 at Arkansas: Seems like an insulting line, even worse that it's probably correct.
Old Mist at Georgia -10.5: I hate this.
Florida at LSU -13.5: Florida is not good.
Mississippi State +18.5 at TAMU: lol. lmao.
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}100 on Auburn +125, to win {v}125
Gimme {v}250 on Alabama -450, to win {v}55.56
Gimme {v}200 on Georgia -500, to win {v}40
MARF.
Alabama -10.5
South Carolina -13.5
Tennessee -1
Auburn +3
Georgia -10.5
LSU -13.5
Mississippi St. +18.5
{v}
MARF!
1. {v}225.70 on Alabama -450 to win {v}50.15
2 {v}50.15 on Auburn +125 to win {v}62.69
Alabama, -450, -10.5 at Kentucky +340 T:47.5
Vanderbilt +425 at South Carolina -600, -13.5 T:58.5
Tennessee -110, -1 at Missouri -110 T:58.5
Auburn +125 at Arkansas -150, -3 T:48
Old Mist +360 at Georgia -500, -10.5 T:58.5
Florida +450 at LSU -650, -13.5 T:63.5
Mississippi State +625 at TAMU -1000, -18.5 T:43
Arkansas +6 at Florida: I guess
Jacksonville State +15.5 at South Carolina: This is a weird line. Does RichRod have a little something for them????
UConn at Tennessee -35.5: This would be a heck of a women's college football game.
Texas A&M +at Old Mist -3: Lane hates Jimbo.
Missouri at Georgia -15.5: Georgia decided they are good now.
Auburn -12.5 at Vandy: This seems like the kind of game that Brother Hugh will use to run up the score and burnish his rep, or that Auburn will lose.
Kentucky -3.5 at Missississippi State: Feels like I'm missing something here with this line.
LSU +135 at Alabama -165, -3 T:60.5: tahd
{v} {v} {v} THE NICE BOOKIE {v} {v} {v}
{v} {v} {v} THE NICE BOOKIE {v} {v} {v}
{v} {v} {v} THE NICE BOOKIE {v} {v} {v}
Gimme {v}200 on Jacksonville State +15.5, to win {v}181.82
Gimme {v}100 on Auburn -12.5, to win {v}90.91
The toilet bank, that is!
Florida -6
Jacksonville St. + 15.5 Dick Rod leads Cocks against Cocks lol
Tennessee -35.5 If it were -36 it would be a no-brainer the other way
Old Mist -3
Mizzou +15.5 Tigers. Rawr.
Vanderbilt +12.5 Recalling how in 2008 gameday went to nashville for the auburn/vandy game. Auburn lost and - in a fit of rage and stupidity - I dumped my trash can into my washing machine. They say history repeats itself. I mean, idiots say that (per Varkham Markham) but I'm the guy who dumped his trash into his own washing machine so I definitely say that.
Kentucky -3.5
Alabama -3
{v}
1. {v}164.70 on Old Mist -160 to win {v}102.93
2. {v}113.88 on TAMU +135 to win {v}153.74
Arkansas +185 at Florida -225, -6 T:49.5
Jacksonville State +550 at South Carolina -800, -15.5 T:54.5
UConn +4000 at Tennessee -50000, -35.5 T:53.5
Texas A&M +135 at Old Mist -160, -3 T:53.5
Missouri +525 at Georgia -750, -15.5 T:54.5
Auburn -500, -12.5 at Vandy +360 T:49.5
Kentucky -165, -3.5 at Missississippi State +135 T:46
LSU +135 at Alabama -165, -3 T:60.5
Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
Professional Wrestling: 1-4 (28-37-1); {v}622.69
The Other Kind of Wrestling: 5-0 (38-27-1); {v}1,114.33
P.U.
South Carolina vs Texas A&M -14: Man do I hope South Carolina (the worst team in the SEC now?) wins this. It's not going to happen, but it would give TAMU some serious anxiety.
Georgia vs Florida +14.5: I'm glad that guy got hurt
Mississippi State +6.5 vs Auburn: 6.5, that reads more like the o/u for this one. Imagine trusting this Auburn team to do literally anything for you. This is going to be bad football, and I feel bad that I'm going to watch the entire thing.
Tennessee -3.5 vs Kentucky: Tennessee keeps hurting me, let's keep it up
Vanderbilt +24.5 vs Old Mist: Seems like a lot
{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}74.80 on Florida +14.5 to win {v}68
"Boo!" - a ghost (spooky)
"BOOOOOOO!" - people I don't even know while they read these wrong picks. they're throwing garbage at me.
South Carolina +14 Wrong.
Georgia -14.5 Nope. Wrong.
Auburn -6.5 Counting on Will "John" Rogers not playing. Wrong.
Tennessee -3.5 Way wrong.
Old Mist -24.5 Embarrassing. Hopeless. Wrong.
{v}
Time to lose some fake money.
1. {v}300.00 on Old Mist -3000 to win {v}10.00
Wrong.
South Carolina +425 vs Texas A&M -600, -14 T:53.5
Georgia -650, -14.5 vs Florida +450 T:47.5
Mississippi State +210 vs Auburn -275, -6.5 T:43.5
Tennessee -185, -3.5 vs Kentucky +150 T:51.5
Vanderbilt +1200 vs Old Mist -3000, -24.5 T:63.5
Lookin' Spiffy in a Tie: 4-1 (27-33-1); {v}629.49
Lookin' Stupid and Not Making a Rhyme or Doing Anything Clever or Interesting: 4-1 (33-27-1); {v}1,104.33
That's the largest bux lead ever after Week 8. Time to get even stupider.
These all seemed pretty easy. 5-0 fo sho.
Mississippi St. +6
Mizzou -7
Tennessee +8.5
Old Mist -6.5
LSU -30.5
{v}
1. {v}161.45 on Old Mist -250 to win {v}64.58
2. {v}64.58 on Mississippi St. +210 to win {v}135.62
Mississippi State +6 vs Arkansas: sure
South Carolina vs Missouri -7: Missouri seems to be peaking
Tennessee +8.5 vs Alabama: Feels like a game that's going to be lower scoring than predicted
Old Mist -6.5 vs Auburn : Look for me at the game; I'll be wearing orange and blue.
Army vs LSU -30.5: ???
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
The two games I feel most confident about are Missouri and Old Mist. Since Old Mist is on the road, that means Missourah.
Gimme {v}151.24 on Missouri -275, to win {v}55
Gimme {v}48.40 on South Carolina vs Missouri going over 59.5, to win {v}44
Mississippi State +210 vs Arkansas -275, -6 T:48.5
South Carolina +220 vs Missouri -275, -7 T:59.5
Tennessee +275 vs Alabama -350, -8.5 T:49
Old Mist -250, -6.5 vs Auburn +200 T:56.5
Army +2000 vs LSU -15000, -30.5 T:57.5
Some of these seem very wrong!
Georgia -31.5
Alabama -19.5
Florida +2.5
TAMU +3.5
Auburn +11.5
Kentucky -2.5
{v}
1. {v}163.65 on LSU -400 to win {v}40.91
2. {v}40.91 on Florida +110 to win {v}45.00
I'm now inspired to call my picks "the pearl of the Gulf." These picks are "the pearl of the Gulf."
Georgia vs. Vanderbilt +31.5: Seems like a lot
Arkansas vs Alabama -19.5: Recently learned that the Pit Man's buyout halves if he has a career record below .500. He is currently 21-21, with some tough sledding ahead. You'd think that would make me pick Arkansas, but no.
Florida +2.5 vs South Carolina: Is it more weird that Florida is an underdog to South Carolina, or more weird that it's not that surprising?
Texas A&M vs Tennessee -3.5: I originally wrote "that pudgy freak better not let me down this time," but I realize that doesn't really clarify which head coach I am talking about.
Auburn +11.5 vs LSU: I like Auburn coming off an off week, but not enough to pick them.
Missouri +115 vs Kentucky -140, -2.5 T:52.5: spooky
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
Not working with a lot of bux.
Gimme {v}126 on Tennessee -3.5 vs. TAMU, to win {v}114.55.
Georgia -20000, -31.5 vs. Vanderbilt +2200 T:55.5
Arkansas +700 vs Alabama -1100, -19.5 T:46.5
Florida +110 vs South Carolina -135, -2.5 T:51.5
Texas A&M +145 vs Tennessee -175, -3.5 T:55.5
Auburn Tigers +310 vs LSU -400, -11.5 T:60.5
Missouri +115 vs Kentucky -140, -2.5 T:52.5
I found a pearl in an oyster. Do not bite a pearl.
Bruce Pearl: 1-5 (20-29-1); {v}503.94
Pearl from MST3K: 4-2 (28-21-1); {v}818.22
I realized this morning that it would have been funny to include the Red River Shootout on the list of conference games.
LSU vs. Missouri +6.5: Feels like another barnburner
Western Michigan vs. Mississippi State -20.5: who cares
Alabama -2.5 vs. Texas A&M: Not buying it
Vanderbilt +18 vs. Florida: If Florida lost to Vanderbilt, would Louisiana Billy make it to the end of the season?
Kentucky +14.5 vs. Georgia: I think we're looking at a 20-10 kind of score here.
Arkansas vs. Old Mist -11.5: It's weird about Sam Pittman, because Arkansas fans seem to love him, but also they seem to think he's not a good coach and want him gone.
{v}{v}{v}
Betting time: guh! Working with {v}497.27. Time to go dumber.
Gimme {v}300 on Old Mist -450, to win {v}66.67
Gimme {v}60 on Missouri +200, to win {v}120
Doin' the old "Charlie Robot." All favorites, baby.
LSU -6.5
Mississippi St. -20.5
Alabama -2.5
Florida -18
Georgia -14.5
Old Mist -11.5
{v}
Terrible thing to do here. Reprehensible.
1. {v}119.33 on Alabama -140 to win {v}85.23
2. {v}85.23 on TAMU +120 to win {v}102.28
LSU -6.5, -240 vs. Missouri +200 T:63.5
Western Michigan +900 vs. Mississippi State -20.5, -1500 T:58.5
Alabama -2.5, -140 vs. Texas A&M +120 T:49.5
Vanderbilt +625 vs. Florida -18, -950 T:54.5
Kentucky +475 vs. Georgia -14.5, -650 T:47.5
Arkansas +350 vs. Old Mist -11.5, -450 T:62.5
The Animaniacs from the show: 3-4 (19-24-1); {v}497.27
The Animaniacs convicted of "The Animaniacs Murders": 4-3 (24-19-1); {v}818.22
Florida vs Kentucky -2.5: Extremely difficult to get a read on this one, mostly because I am ignorant and not particularly concerned.
Texas A&M vs Arkansas +6.5: It's been a long time since one of these games that you could call an easy win for either team.
Georgia -14.5 vs Auburn: Absolutely baffling line, implying that TAMU and Georgia are about the same.
Missouri -13.5 vs Vanderbilt: the classic SEC match up we all know and love
LSU -2.5 vs Old Mist: This is the kind of line, like UGA above, that makes me think I've missed something this season.
South Carolina +12.5 vs Tennessee: Beamer Ball Baby
Alabama -14 vs Mississippi State: no
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}YIKES BUDDY{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
Working with a slim {v}659.27.
Gimme {v}247 on Georgia -650, to win {v}38
Gimme {v}200 on LSU -130, to win {v}153.85
here's the sound:
Florida +2.5
TAMU -6.5
Georgia -14.5
Mizzou -13.5
LSU -2.5
Tennessee -12.5
Alabama -14
and here's the fury:
1. {v}177.67 on Georgia -650 to win {v}27.33
2. {v}27.33 on Florida +120 to win {v}32.80
but, honestly, what has this all meant?
Florida +120 vs Kentucky -145, -2.5 T:44
Texas A&M -250, -6.5 vs Arkansas T:55.5
Georgia -650, -14.5 vs Auburn +450 T: 47.5
Missouri -550, -13.5 vs Vanderbilt +400 T:56.5
LSU -130, -2.5 vs Old Mist +110 T:66.5
South Carolina +350 vs Tennessee -500, -12.5 T:63.5
Alabama -700, -14 vs Mississippi State +500 T:46.5
Brilliant, yet Sincere: 4-5 (16-20-1); {v}659.27
Counting Pennies to Buy Beer: 7-2 (20-16-1); {v}818.22
We can do this. We can pick more football games.
But I remembered!
Whew!
Kentucky -14
Auburn +7.5
Alabama -7
Tennessee -20.5
UNC Charlotte +28
LSU -17.5
Mizzou -6.5
UAB +42
South Carolina -6
{v}
1. {v}200.00 on LSU -900 to win {v}22.22
I am in a hurry picking, so this will be my most thoughtless pick of the year so far--guaranteeing success.
Kentucky -14 vs Vanderbilt
Auburn +7.5 vs TAMU
Old Mist vs Alabama -7
UTSA +20 vs. Tennessee
Charlotte vs Florida -28
Arkansas vs LSU -17.5
Memphis vs. Missouri -6.5
UAB +42 vs. Georgia
Mississippi State +6 vs. South Carolina
{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}148.50 on Kentucky -550, to win {v}27
Gimme {v}50.60 on Auburn +7.5, to win {v}46
Kentucky -550, -14 vs Vanderbilt +400 T:50.5
Auburn +240 vs TAMU -300, -7.5 T:52.5
Old Mist +210 vs Alabama -275, -7 T:56.5
UTSA +750 vs. Tennessee -1200, -20.5 T:57.5
Charlotte +1800 vs Florida -5000, -28 T49.5
Arkansas +600 vs LSU -900, -17.5 T:55.5
Memphis +190 vs. Missouri -250, -6.5 T:51.5
UAB +8000 vs. Georgia -10000, -42 T:53.5
Mississippi State +200 vs. South Carolina -250, -6 T:50.5
Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers: 4-6 (12-15-1); {v}682.87
I don't know, like... PJ Masks or something?: 5-5 (13-14-1); {v}796.00
Keep it up, boners!
Spooky!
Kansas St. -5.5 Vampire
LSU -10 Dracula
South Carolina +27.5 Frankenstein
UL Monroe +36.5 Wolfman
Vanderbilt -4.5 Mummy
Tennessee -7 Swamp Thing
Kentucky -25.5 Zombie
BYU +8.5 Skeleton
Georgia Tech +20.5 Expectations
{v}
1. {v}142.30 on LSU -375 to win {v}37.95
2. {v}20.00 on BYU +275 to win {v}55.00
3. {v}17.95 on Georgia Tech +750 to win {v}134.63
Kansas State (-5.5) vs Missouri: Missouri has already let me down, and you know what they say, Missouri loves company.
LSU (-10) vs Mississippi State: Maybe LSU is still mad?
South Carolina vs Georgia (-27.5): It's hard to be confident about poor Spencer Rattler in this game
Alabama (-32.5) vs South Florida: Definitely mad Alabama
Louisiana-Monroe vs Texas A&M (-36.5): Did you know that Terry Tot Bowden is the head coach at ULM? Good for him.
Vanderbilt (-4.5) vs. UNLV: wait, at UNLV?
Tennessee (-7) vs Florida: Is this a low line? Am I crazy?
Akron vs Kentucky (-25.5): No way Kentucky looks as bad this week, right?
BYU vs Arkansas (-8.5): man I don't know
Georgia Tech vs Old Mist (-20.5): This seems like the kind of game Lane either completely flops or runs away with.
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
THENICEBOOKIE
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
I'm trying some totals betting this week.
GIMME {v}65 on LSU vs. Mississippi State going over 53.5, to win {v}59.09
GIMME {v}65 on Vanderbilt at UNLV going under 60.5, to win {v}59.09
GIMME {v}65 on on Tennessee (-250) beating Florida, to win {v}26
Kansas State (-5.5, -200) vs Missouri (+165) T:48.5
LSU (-10, -375) vs Mississippi State (+290) T:53.5
South Carolina (+1800) vs Georgia (-27.5, -10000) T:54.5
Alabama (-32.5, -10000) vs South Florida (+2000) T: 61.5
Louisiana-Monroe (+2000) vs Texas A&M (-36.5, -10000) T:53.5
Vanderbilt (-4.5, -190) vs. UNLV (+155) T:60.5
Tennessee (-7, -250) vs Florida (+200) T:58.5
Akron (+1200) vs Kentucky (-25.5, -3000) T:49.5
BYU (+275) vs Arkansas (-8.5, -350) T:47.5
Georgia Tech (+750) vs Old Mist (-20.5, -1200) T:63.5
PAW Patrol: 3-5-1 (8-9-1); {v}753.78
Regular Dogs Squad: 4-4-1 (8-9-1); {v}721.00
yeeeesh!
Week 2 reminds me of a story. When the MC Hammer song "2 Legit 2 Quit" came out I thought the lyrics were "2 the jit, 2 the jit 2 quit," believing that "the jit" was a place where MC Hammer was going to go and quit. Now, during this height of popularity we were given a school assignment that was something like "design a pro-reading flyer." Never one to miss out on a fad, I decided to make my flyer "2 the jit, 2 the jit 2 READ" ah see now the jit is a place one goes to curl up with a good book. Great flyer, Tha Captain!
Now, some of my less-stupid classmates pointed out that those are not the lyrics. So, not wanting to seem any more of a fool that I already did, I changed it to "2 legit, 2 legit 2 read" which is absolutely not what you want on a pro-reading flyer. Ah well. Keep at it, Cap'n.
I have no comment on any of these games, apparently.
Woke Forest -10
Ball State +42
Texas A&M -4.5
Kent State +37.5
Alabama -7
Mizzou -20.5
Arizona +10.5
Auburn -6.5
{v}
{v}280.00 on Alabama -280 to win {v}100.00
Vanderbilt at Wake Forest (-10): Vandy: not great
Ball State at Georgia (-42): Absolutely sickening
Texas A&M at Miami (+4.5): I'm excited about this one because whoever loses is going to feel very bad about themselves.
Old Mist at Tulane (+7.5): I think Lane is taking them seriously, but Tulane is a good football team.
Kent State at Arkansas (-37.5): ok
Texas at Alabama (-7): The funniest outcome would be for Texas to win this game and the rest of September to start 5-0 and get to #3 in the country, then get blasted by Oklahoma and end up losing five of their last seven games.
Middle Tennessee State at Missouri (-20.5): Missouri seems roughly thirty points worse than Alabama, this makes sense.
Arizona at Mississippi State (-10.5): Mississippi State is constantly playing games that make me say, "Oh, huh. Ok."
Auburn at Cal (+6.5): Verrrrrrry concerned about this one, kids. Feels like a 41-38 kind of game, and not the good way.
{v}{v}{v}THENICEBOOKIE{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}200 on Alabama (-280), to win {v}71.43
Gimme {v}200 on Wake Forest (-410), to win {v}48.78
Gimme {v}100 on Tulane (+275), to win {v}275
Vanderbilt (+320) at Wake Forest (-10, -410) T:57.5
Ball State (+8000) at Georgia (-42, -10000) T:52.5
Texas A&M (-4.5, -205) at Miami (+170) T:51
Kent State (+4000) at Arkansas (-37.5, -30000) T:57.5
Texas (+230) at Alabama (-7, -280) T:56
Middle Tennessee State (+800) at Missouri (-20.5, -1300) T:49.5
Arizona (+320) at Mississippi State (-10.5, -410) T:60
Auburn (-6.5, -250) at Cal (+205) T:54.5
My kids picked out toy snakes and this is what they named them.
Whisker (you): 5-3 (5-4); {v}1,005.00
Animal Cracker (me): 4-4 (4-5); {v}1,001.00
oh this got out of hand
Florida +6.5 The native american johnny depp looking ass quarterback guy from utah is not playing. The line is like 4.5 now but both of those are more-than-a-field-goal-less-than-a-td. My point is that I'm very hungry.
Kentucky -25.5 Ball State is just a nickname. Their official name is Testicle State. Folks,
Virginia +27.5 Bronco "Bronck" Mendenhall is turning things around in Charlottesville. Okay, would everyone like to hear a largely pointless story? Don't care; story starting! So in fifth (5th) grade, the students at Thompson Elementary were treated to a trip to our nation's capital: Charlottesville, Va. Just kidding, I know the real capital is Richmond but we went to C-Vegas too. One of the big draws for that par-tick-ular hamlet is the birthplace of founding father (or as I call them the (democracy designing daddies (aka tha triple Ds)) Thomas Haley Jefferson: Monticello (pronounced in an offensively exaggerated Italian accent a-la Inglorious Basterds). Anyways, it's just a big stupid house where a bunch of slaves died but the real treat is that you can see a hill to the southwest. At the top of the hill stands some kind of building. See map below. Apparently the thing at the top of the hill (I know it's a 2D picture but the switchback road clearly suggests some sort of elevation change) is called "Montalto." Now, dear readers, as a naive and impressionable fifth (5th) grader I was told that "graduate students from UVA" lived there. Preposterous, I thought, as I watched a car traverse the winding path to the top. It seemed crazy at the time and it's something that haunts me to this day. The internet tells me that there is a wedding venue up there now and, hell, there may have been in 1993. I imagine the tour guide at Monticello mostly gets questions about where the slaves died and how many slaves died and how did the slaves die rather than "who lives at the top of that distant hill." Anyways, I learned a lot about democracy and how tour guides assume graduate students like living on mountains like dragons and trolls.
Auburn -34.5 Year 3 of the Harsin era or the "Renn-Harsin-ce" (Like Renaissance) as I and most of the people I talk to call it, gets off to a flying start. Minutemen? Yeah one minute is about how long it will take the patented "Har-fense" (Auburn's offense) scores some "Bryans" (points).
New Mexico +38.5 Jimbo probably wants to come out and show everyone how good his "24 points or bust" offense is.
South Carolina +2.5 Ol Head Ball Coach click clack
Alabama -40 Bryce Young is the best QB in cfb. Change my mind.
Florida St. +2.5 *badly mangles the seminole war chant* hiya humma hiya humma heap big football game
{v}
{v}500.00 on Alabama -50000 to win {v}1.00
Next year, the superconference era truly begins. And it's going to suck!
---
Florida (+6.5) at Utah: Utah's quarterback is out. This will probably be wrong!
Ball State at Kentucky (-25.5): Don't know. Don't care!
Virginia at Tennessee (-27.5): I guess? Seems like Virginia should be a lot better at football than they are.
UMass at Auburn (-34.5): lmao
New Mexico at TAMU (-38.5): picking a lot of favorites
North Carolina at South Carolina (+2.5): BBB--Beamer ball, baby
Middle Tennessee State at Alabama (-40): I am tired of doing the pick them now
LSU (-2.5,) vs. Florida State: This is a fun one
{v}{v}{v}THENICEBOOKIE{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}500 on Auburn -10000, to win {v}5.
We shall recover and glory.
Florida (+220) at Utah (-6.5, -270) T:45.5
Ball State (+1650) at Kentucky (-25.5, -6600) T:49.5
Virginia (+1800) at Tennessee (-27.5, -10000) T:56.5
UMass (+2000) at Auburn (-34.5, -10000) T:52.5
New Mexico (+4000) at TAMU (-38.5, -50000) T:48.5
North Carolina (-2.5, -135) at South Carolina (+115) T:64.5
Middle Tennessee State (+4000) at Alabama (-40, -50000) T:51.5
LSU (-2.5, -140) vs. Florida State (+120) T:56.5
Pathetic: 0-1 (0-1); {v}1000.00
Pathetic: 0-1 (0-1); {v}1000.00
Pathetic.
The season is about to begin (meaning the season for harvesting cotton in the cotton field where I now work). I'm excited to begin the picking process (meaning picking cotton in the cotton field where I now work). I am also really looking forward to bowl season (meaning boll season, when it's time to harvest the cotton in the cotton field where I now work).
Unrelated, a football pick:
*stranger things voice* i've created i've created i've created i've created i've created my own prisuuhn
no
ah well what with the wildfires and all you really can only see this going one way. i will figure out what way that is in a little bit.
Vanderbilt -17.5
my analysis of this is that each player on each team deserves a new car. but all the same car. a fleet of shitty corrolas to herald the arrival of the commodores and rainbow warriors.
*creed voice* stranger things
this was AI. this is where we're going.
The usual rules:
1. Lost for Swords, great
2. Starlynx, it's fine, missed a chance to call it StarFaux
3. TrioJam, good
4. Shogun Showdown, not bad
5. Ten Minutes till Dawn, is there a name for these kinds of games? I like them
I'm not sure why this series reminds me of The Captain, but it does.
2. The Patriots
1. Die in the Dungeon - very good
2. Tiny Islands - good
3. Six-Sided Streets - pretty good
4. Flooded Caves - neat
5. Pelagium - good but gets tiring, needs a "win or keep playing?" mechanic
BAHAMAS BOWL (at Nassau, Bahamas)
21 UAB vs. Miami (Ohio), 11:30 a.m., ESPN
CURE BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)
2 Troy vs. No. 25 UTSA, 3 p.m., ESPN
FENWAY BOWL (at Boston)
6 Louisville vs. Cincinnati, 11 a.m., ESPN
LAS VEGAS BOWL
5 Oregon State vs. Florida, 2:30 p.m., ESPN
L.A. BOWL (at Inglewood, Calif.)
24 Fresno State vs. Washington State, 3:30 p.m.,
ABC
LENDINGTREE BOWL (at Mobile, Ala.)
10 Southern Miss vs. Rice, 5:45 p.m., ESPN
NEW MEXICO BOWL (at Albuquerque, N.M.)
20 SMU vs. BYU, 7:30 p.m., ABC
FRISCO BOWL (at Frisco, Texas)
22 Boise State
vs. North Texas, 9:15 p.m., ESPN
MYRTLE BEACH BOWL (at Conway, S.C.)
11 Marshall vs. UConn, 2:30 p.m., ESPN
FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO BOWL (at Boise, Idaho)
12 San Jose State vs. Eastern Michigan, 3:30 p.m., ESPN
BOCA RATON BOWL (at Boca Raton, Fla.)
19 Toledo vs. Liberty, 7:30 p.m., ESPN
NEW ORLEANS BOWL
23 South Alabama vs. Western Kentucky, 9 p.m., ESPN
ARMED FORCES BOWL (at Fort Worth, Texas)
4 Baylor vs. Air Force, 7:30 p.m., ESPN
INDEPENDENCE BOWL (at Shreveport, La.)
13 Houston vs. Louisiana-Lafayette, 3 p.m., ESPN
GASPARILLA BOWL (at Tampa, Fla.)
1 Wake Forest vs. Missouri, 6:30 p.m., ESPN
HAWAII BOWL (at Honolulu)
25 San Diego State vs. Middle Tennessee, 8 p.m., ESPN
QUICK LANE BOWL (at Detroit)
3 Bowling Green vs. New Mexico State, 2:30 p.m.,
ESPN
CAMELLIA BOWL (at Montgomery, Ala.)
7 Georgia Southern vs. Buffalo, noon, ESPN
FIRST RESPONDER BOWL (at Dallas)
18 Memphis vs. Utah State, 3:15 p.m., ESPN
BIRMINGHAM BOWL
17 East Carolina vs. Coastal Carolina, 6:45 p.m., ESPN
GUARANTEED RATE BOWL (at Phoenix)
8 Wisconsin vs. Oklahoma State, 10:15 p.m.,
ESPN
MILITARY BOWL (at Annapolis, Md.)
38 Central Florida vs. Duke, 2 p.m., ESPN
LIBERTY BOWL (at Memphis, Tenn.)
37 Arkansas vs. Kansas, 5:30 p.m., ESPN
HOLIDAY BOWL (at San Diego)
36 Oregon vs. North Carolina, 8 p.m., FOX
TEXAS BOWL (at Houston)
34 Ole Miss vs. Texas Tech, 9 p.m., ESPN
PINSTRIPE BOWL (at Bronx, N.Y.)
26 Minnesota vs. Syracuse, 2 p.m., ESPN
CHEEZ-IT BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)
27 Florida State vs. Oklahoma, 5:30 p.m., ESPN
ALAMO BOWL (at San Antonio)
32 Texas vs. Washington, 9 p.m., ESPN
DUKE’S MAYO BOWL (at Charlotte, N.C.)
9 Maryland vs. NC State, noon, ESPN
SUN BOWL (at El Paso, Texas)
28 UCLA vs. Pitt, 2 p.m., CBS
GATOR BOWL (at Jacksonville, Fla.)
31 Notre Dame vs. South Carolina, 3:30 p.m.,
ESPN
ARIZONA BOWL (at Tucson, Ariz.)
16 Ohio vs. Wyoming, 4:30 p.m., Barstool Sports
ORANGE BOWL (at Miami Gardens, Fla.)
33 Clemson vs. Tennessee, 8 p.m., ESPN
SUGAR BOWL (at New Orleans)
41 Alabama vs. Kansas State, noon, ESPN
MUSIC CITY BOWL (at Nashville, Tenn.)
15 Kentucky vs. Iowa, noon, ABC
FIESTA BOWL (at Glendale, Ariz.) — CFP SEMIFINAL
39 Michigan vs. TCU, 4 p.m., ESPN
PEACH BOWL (at Atlanta) — CFP SEMIFINAL
40 Georgia vs. Ohio State, 8 p.m., ESPN
RELIAQUEST BOWL (at Tampa, Fla.)
30 Mississippi State vs. Illinois, noon, ESPN2
COTTON BOWL CLASSIC (at Arlington, Texas)
14 USC vs. Tulane, 1 p.m., ESPN
CITRUS BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)
35 LSU vs. Purdue, 1 p.m., ABC
ROSE BOWL GAME (at Pasadena, Calif.)
29 Utah vs. Penn State, 5 p.m., ESPN
Every single one of these, I'm looking at like whaaat. what are you doing here.
BAHAMAS
(32) UAB v Miami (OH)
CURE
(6) UTSA v Troy
FENWAY
(5) Cincinnati v Louisville
LAS VEGAS
(15) Oregon St. v Florida
LA
(9) Washington St. v Fresno St.
LENDINGTREE
(33) Southern Mist v Rice
NEW MEXICO
(4) BYU v SMU
FRISCO
(40) Boise St. v North Texas
MYRTLE BEACH
(39) Marshall v UConn
POTATO
(24) San Jose St. v EMU
BOCA RATON
(7) Li-bear-ty v Toledo
NEW ORLEANS
(13) South Alabama v WKU
ARMED FORCES
(25) Baylor v Air Force
INDEPENDENCE
(31) Houston v UL-Lafayette
GASPARILLA
(17) Woke Forest v Mizzou
H'A'W'A'I'I
(18) San Diego St. v MTSU
QUICK LANE
(10) New Mexico St. v Bowling Green
CAMELLIA
(30) Georgia Southern v Buffalo
FIRST RESPONDER
(19) Memphis v Utah St.
BIRMINGHAM
(12) ECU v Coastal Carolina
GUARANTEED RATE
(29) Wisconsin v Oklahoma St.
MILITARY
(8) UCF v Duke
LI-BEAR-TY
(26) Arkansas v Urkansas
HOLIDAY
(34) Oregon v North Carolina
TEXAS
(27) Old Mist v Texas Tech
PINSTRIPE
(38) Minnesota v Syracuse
CHEEZ-IT
(1) Oklahoma v Florida St.
ALAMO
(3) Washington v Texas
MAYONNAISE
(2) NC State v Maryland
SUN
(16) UCLA v Pitt
GATOR
(37) Notre Dame v South Carolina
ARIZONA
(11) Wyoming v Ohio
ORANGE
(28) Clemson v Tennessee
SUGAR
(36) Alabama v Urkansas St.
MUSIC CITY
(23) Iowa v Kentucky
FIESTA
(35) Michigan v TCU
PEACH
(14) Georgia v Ohio St.
RELIAQUEST
(20) Illinois v Mississippi St.
COTTON
(22) USC v Tulane
CITRUS
(41) LSU v Purdue
ROSE
(21) Penn St. v Utah
All times Eastern, not going to bother changing them.
Friday, Dec. 16
BAHAMAS BOWL (at Nassau, Bahamas)
UAB (-10, o/u 44½) vs. Miami (Ohio), 11:30 a.m., ESPN
CURE BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)
No. 24 Troy (-1, o/u 54½) vs. No. 25 UTSA, 3 p.m., ESPN
Saturday, Dec. 17
FENWAY BOWL (at Boston)
Louisville (-1½, o/u 44½) vs. Cincinnati, 11 a.m., ESPN
LAS VEGAS BOWL
No. 14 Oregon State (-10½, o/u 52) vs. Florida, 2:30 p.m., ESPN
L.A. BOWL (at Inglewood, Calif.)
Fresno State (-1½, o/u 54½) vs. Washington State, 3:30 p.m., ABC
LENDINGTREE BOWL (at Mobile, Ala.)
Southern Miss (-7, o/u 46½) vs. Rice, 5:45 p.m., ESPN
NEW MEXICO BOWL (at Albuquerque, N.M.)
SMU (-1½, o/u 70½) vs. BYU, 7:30 p.m., ABC
FRISCO BOWL (at Frisco, Texas)
Boise State (-10, o/u 56½) vs. North Texas, 9:15 p.m., ESPN
Monday, Dec. 19
MYRTLE BEACH BOWL (at Conway, S.C.)
Marshall (-10, o/u 40½) vs. UConn, 2:30 p.m., ESPN
Tuesday, Dec. 20
FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO BOWL (at Boise, Idaho)
San Jose State (-3½, o/u 54½) vs. Eastern Michigan, 3:30 p.m., ESPN
BOCA RATON BOWL (at Boca Raton, Fla.)
Toledo (-4½, o/u 53½) vs. Liberty, 7:30 p.m., ESPN
Wednesday, Dec. 21
NEW ORLEANS BOWL
South Alabama (-7½, o/u 54½) vs. Western Kentucky, 9 p.m., ESPN
Thursday, Dec. 22
ARMED FORCES BOWL (at Fort Worth, Texas)
Baylor (-6½, o/u 49½) vs. Air Force, 7:30 p.m., ESPN
Friday, Dec. 23
INDEPENDENCE BOWL (at Shreveport, La.)
Houston (-6½, o/u 60½) vs. Louisiana-Lafayette, 3 p.m., ESPN
GASPARILLA BOWL (at Tampa, Fla.)
Wake Forest (-2½, o/u 63) vs. Missouri, 6:30 p.m., ESPN
Saturday, Dec. 24
HAWAII BOWL (at Honolulu)
San Diego State (-7, o/u 49½) vs. Middle Tennessee, 8 p.m., ESPN
Monday, Dec. 26
QUICK LANE BOWL (at Detroit)
Bowling Green (-2½, o/u 48) vs. New Mexico State, 2:30 p.m., ESPN
Tuesday, Dec. 27
CAMELLIA BOWL (at Montgomery, Ala.)
Georgia Southern (-3½, o/u 67½) vs. Buffalo, noon, ESPN
FIRST RESPONDER BOWL (at Dallas)
Memphis (-7, o/u 62½) vs. Utah State, 3:15 p.m., ESPN
BIRMINGHAM BOWL
East Carolina (-9½, o/u 59½) vs. Coastal Carolina, 6:45 p.m., ESPN
GUARANTEED RATE BOWL (at Phoenix)
Wisconsin (-3, o/u 43) vs. Oklahoma State, 10:15 p.m., ESPN
Wednesday, Dec. 28
MILITARY BOWL (at Annapolis, Md.)
Central Florida (pick ’em, o/u 62½) vs. Duke, 2 p.m., ESPN
LIBERTY BOWL (at Memphis, Tenn.)
Arkansas (-4, o/u 68½) vs. Kansas, 5:30 p.m., ESPN
HOLIDAY BOWL (at San Diego)
No. 15 Oregon (-12, o/u 71) vs. North Carolina, 8 p.m., FOX
TEXAS BOWL (at Houston)
Ole Miss (-4, o/u 70) vs. Texas Tech, 9 p.m., ESPN
Thursday, Dec. 29
PINSTRIPE BOWL (at Bronx, N.Y.)
Minnesota (-7½, o/u 42) vs. Syracuse, 2 p.m., ESPN
CHEEZ-IT BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)
No. 13 Florida State (-7½, o/u 65) vs. Oklahoma, 5:30 p.m., ESPN
ALAMO BOWL (at San Antonio)
No. 20 Texas (-6, o/u 68½) vs. No. 12 Washington, 9 p.m., ESPN
Friday, Dec. 30
DUKE’S MAYO BOWL (at Charlotte, N.C.)
Maryland (-1, o/u 48) vs. No. 23 NC State, noon, ESPN
SUN BOWL (at El Paso, Texas)
No. 18 UCLA (-7, o/u 57½) vs. Pitt, 2 p.m., CBS
GATOR BOWL (at Jacksonville, Fla.)
No. 21 Notre Dame (-3½, o/u 52) vs. No. 19 South Carolina, 3:30 p.m., ESPN
ARIZONA BOWL (at Tucson, Ariz.)
Ohio (-1, o/u 43) vs. Wyoming, 4:30 p.m., Barstool Sports
ORANGE BOWL (at Miami Gardens, Fla.)
No. 7 Clemson (-7, o/u 64) vs. No. 6 Tennessee, 8 p.m., ESPN
Saturday, Dec. 31
SUGAR BOWL (at New Orleans)
No. 5 Alabama (-3½, o/u 54½) vs. No. 9 Kansas State, noon, ESPN
MUSIC CITY BOWL (at Nashville, Tenn.)
Kentucky (-2½, o/u 31½) vs. Iowa, noon, ABC
FIESTA BOWL (at Glendale, Ariz.) — CFP SEMIFINAL
No. 2 Michigan (-7½, o/u 59) vs. No. 3 TCU, 4 p.m., ESPN
PEACH BOWL (at Atlanta) — CFP SEMIFINAL
No. 1 Georgia (-6½, o/u 61½) vs. No. 4 Ohio State, 8 p.m., ESPN
Monday, Jan. 2
RELIAQUEST BOWL (at Tampa, Fla.)
No. 22 Mississippi State (-1, o/u 46½) vs. Illinois, noon, ESPN2
COTTON BOWL CLASSIC (at Arlington, Texas)
No. 10 USC (-2, o/u 62) vs. No. 16 Tulane, 1 p.m., ESPN
CITRUS BOWL (at Orlando, Fla.)
No. 17 LSU (-10, o/u 58) vs. Purdue, 1 p.m., ABC
ROSE BOWL GAME (at Pasadena, Calif.)
No. 8 Utah (-2½, o/u 52) vs. No. 11 Penn State, 5 p.m., ESPN
loser with class: 45-51-1, {v}0.00 (ha ha)
winner with class too: 53-43-1, {v}1,300.00
see you in the pick them
really not feeling good. hopefully that means i mess this up very badly.
Old Mist -2.5
Arkansas -3
Florida +9.5
Georgia Tech +38.5
Clemson -14.5
Kentucky -3.5
Auburn +21.5
LSU -10
Tennessee -14
{v} let's make it a little interesting, maybe
1. {v}273.65 on Georgia -30000 to win {v}0.91.
2. {v}68.17 on Caddy +1053 to win {v}717.83.
Meaning, of course, it's time to convert to Catholicism.
Mississippi State (+2.5) at Old Mist: I'm willing to believe that Old Mist is distracted. Finally off the Old Mist train, so they'll probably win by 35.
Arkansas (-3) at Missouri: Seems low
Florida at Florida State (-9.5): Florida has lost my approval
Georgia Tech at Georgia (-38.5): No
South Carolina at Clemson (-14.5): Tennessee losing did a lot for playoff hopefuls trying to get their team serious about a rival
Louisville (+3.5) at Kentucky: kind of funny vibes in this one
Auburn (+21.5) at Alabama: Believing
LSU (-10) at TAMU: It looks like I may be wrong about how well Brian Kelly was going to fit in at LSU.
Tennessee (-14) at Vanderbilt: who cares
{v}{v}{v}
GIMME {v}655.39 on Auburn covering (-21.5), to win {v}595.81
delightful
stranger things: 3-4 (43-44-1); {v}655.39
a different tv show, i don't care: 4-3 (49-38-1); {v}1,367.26
Florida (-14) at Vanderbilt: foolish
UMass at TAMU (-33.5): It's easy to imagine Jimbo trying to run it up big in this game to prove he can still coach offense. This is an insultingly low over/under that I very nearly bet under.
Georgia at Kentucky (+22.5): seems like a lot
Western Kentucky at Auburn (-5.5): We're in full I BELIEVE mode
Tennessee (-21.5) at South Carolina: Hypothesis: Tennessee wants to lay on every point, to look good for the potential playoff spot.
Old Mist (-2.5) at Arkansas: Most Old Mist lines look wrong to me this year, and then I'm usually the idiot. I refuse to learn anything from this fact.
UAB at Lsu (-14.5): Looks like I am mostly picking favorites, that's fine
{v}N{v}I{v}C{v}E{v}
Gimme {v}249.70 on Old Mist covering (-2.5), to win {v}227
SoCon Saturday etc etc
Florida (-14, -623) at Vanderbilt (+445) (T:57.5)
UMass (+4000) at TAMU (-33.5, -30000) (T:47.5)
Georgia (-22.5, -2565) at Kentucky (+1143) (T:49.5)
Western Kentucky (+181) at Auburn (-5.5, -221) (T:52.5)
Tennessee (-21.5, -2109) at South Carolina (+1039) (T:66)
Old Mist (-2.5, -135) at Arkansas (+113) (T:60.5)
UAB (+454) at Lsu (-14.5, -638) (T:52.5)
it was easy because i am so familiar with it.
white claw: 4-2-1 (40-40-1), {v}905.09
the aldi kind (gross): 3-3-1 (45-35-1), {941.32}
Missouri at Tennessee (-20.5): tough to care
Vanderbilt at Kentucky (-17.5): Vanderbilt is Not Good.
LSU (-3) at Arkansas: I would say "letdown" except Arkansas lost to Liberty last week.
Alabama at Old Mist (+11.5): too good to be true but I hope
South Carolina (+7.5) at Florida: It's hard to get a handle on Florida this year, probably because I haven't watched them much and hate them, but it seems like a reasonable guess that they're also Not Good, though not to the extent Vandy (see above) is not good.
Georgia (-16.5) at Mississippi State: Only good scenario left in college football is Georgia getting upset in some random remaining game (not going to happen), then losing to a two-loss SEC West champion (also not going to happen), and the SEC gets left out of the playoffs entirely (also too not going to happen).
TAMU at Auburn (-1.5): lol
{v}{v}{v}{v}THENICEBOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}
I hope I lose the Georgia bet and lose the pick them, it will be worth it
Gimme {v}50 on Old Mist covering (+11.5), to win {v}45.45
Gimme {v}425 on Georgia straight up (-850), to win {v}50
Stranger Things is a show about strangers.
Tennessee -20.5
Kentucky -17.5
LSU -3
Alabama -11.5
Florida -7.5
Georgia -16.5
TAMU +1.5
{v}
1. {v}223.32 on Alabama -465 to win {v}48.03
You guessed it: lines
Missouri Loves Company (+890) at Tennessee (-20.5, -1700) T:56.5
Vanderbilt (+170) at Kentucky (-17.5, -1250) T:48.5
LSU (-3, -164) at Arkansas (+136) T:63.5
Alabama (-11.5, -465) at Old Mist (+350) T:63.5
South Carolina (+250) at Florida (-7.5, -315) T:58.5
Georgia (-16.5, -850) at Mississippi State (+570) T:53.5
TAMU (+100) at Auburn (-1.5, -120) T:48.5
... tryin to convine folks i'm swac. ain't workin.
Not SWAC: 4-3, (36-38); {v}809.64
Definitely not SWAC: 5-2 (42-32); {v}893.65
The nice bookie is not paying out {v}85 on a {v}20 spread bet so I fixed that for you. cheater.
Florida +3.5
Kentucky -1.5
Tennessee +8
Li-Bear-Ty +13.5
Alabama -13
South Carolina -7
Auburn +13.5
{v}
1. {v}255.59 on Alabama -500 to win {v}51.12
2. {v}42.17 on Auburn +425 to win {v}179.22
Florida at TAMU (-3.5): Not sure why I feel like it's impossible TAMU will lose this many in a row, but many things once seemed impossible.
Kentucky (-1.5) at Missouri: Funny and insulting line to Kentucky, though they are a team that seems to be in decline.
Tennessee (+8) at Georgia: I believe
Liberty Bear (+13.5) at Arkansas: sure
Alabama (-13) at Lsu: I'd like to think I am wrong, but as much as people talk about how scary Baton Rouge is blah blah blah, it seems like Alabama goes down there and sets a freshman rushing record or something every few years.
South Carolina (-7) at Vanderbilt: another vaguely insulting line. Just realized I picked mostly road teams.
Auburn (+13.5) at Mississippi State: the bad man is gone
{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}50 on Liberty-Arkansas going over 64, to win {v}45.45
Gimme {v}120 on Alabama straight up (-500), to win {v}24
Gimme {v}20 on South Carolina-Vanderbilt going over 48.5, to win {v}18.18
Gimme {v}20 on Auburn covering +13.5, to win {v}85
Florida (+140) at TAMU (-3.5, -165) T:54.5
Kentucky (-1.5, -125) at Missouri (+105) T:41.5
Tennessee (+240) at Georgia (-8, -290) T:66
Liberty Bear (+360) at Arkansas (-13.5, -450) T:64
Alabama (-13, -500) at Lsu (+380) T:58
South Carolina (-7, -275) at Vanderbilt (+225) T:48.5
Auburn (+425) at Mississippi State (-13.5, -550) T:52
