Auburn @ Mizzou -4.5: Officially done
South Carolina @ Oklahoma -3: You can throw out the records when these two historic rivals meet on the gridiron.
Alabama - 3 @ Tennessee: two teams with lots of talent but also Problems
TAMU @ Mississippi St. +15.5: I was picking too many favorites.
LSU -2.5 @ Arkansas: Friend, do not fool yourself into thinking Arkansas is even decent.
Ball St. @ Vanderbilt -26: if this was about me, it would be a Balding State
Georgia @ Texas -3.5: It would be cool if the SEC brought in Texas and Oklahoma exclusively for ad dollars, but then the sports media market collapsed and Texas won 8 of the next ten conference titles.
Kentucky -1 @ Florida: whatever
Auburn +4.5
Oklahoma -3
Alabama -3
TAMU -15.5
Arkansas +2.5
Ball St. +26
Georgia +3.5
Florida +1
South Carolina +21 @ Alabama: I don't think them Cocks is gonna win, but Alabama might have some issues on defense [smash cut to Alabama's 51-3 victory]
Mizzou -27.5 @ (?) UMass: classic SEC match up
Texas -15 vs Oklahoma: [Collective Soul voice:] (that's where Red River goes)
Mississippi St. +34 @ Georgia: seems like a lot
Florida @ Tennessee -15.5: Leaning into the "bounce back game" narrative
Old Mist -3.5 @ LSU: seems that if LSU couldn't win last year with Video Game Numbers Jayden Daniels, they won't win now, right?
Vanderbilt +14 @ Kentucky: My thinking: this will either be a close Kentucky win/Vanderbilt win or an even bigger blowout than two touchdowns--either what Vandy is doing works or it doesn't.
Alabama -21
Mizzou -27.5
Oklahoma +15
Georgia -34
Tennessee -15.5
LSU +3.5
Vanderbilt +14
An Actual Captain of a Ship: 3-3 (33-22)
Tha Captain: 2-4 (24-31)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These are the seven seas:
Gulf of Mexico - South Carolina @ Alabama -21
Boston Harbor - Mizzou -27.5 @ (?) UMass
Red Sea (that's where the Red River goes) - Texas -15 vs Oklahoma
Mobile Bay - Mississippi St. @ Georgia -34
Tampa Bay (RIP) - Florida @ Tennessee -15.5
The Bayou - Old Mist -3.5 @ LSU
Kroger Field - Vanderbilt @ Kentucky -14 (this feels disrespectful?)
Mizzou @ TAMU -2: Let's see how stupid I am here. My initial impulse was, of course, Missouri is the better team. But when I looked at the schedules, I thought, well maybe not. Now I changed my pick. Am I moron? Time will tell.
Auburn +24 @ Georgia -24: Can't imagine how Auburn will conspire to lose this one in a fascinating and heartbreaking way. Wacky special teams and game delays are still in the mix, but a late-90s style beatdown from a superior East Division team is a good option too.
Old Mist -9.5 @ South Carolina: no idea about either one of these teams
Alabama -23 @ Vanderbilt: nah
Tennessee -13.5 @ Arkansas: Pittman's last game??
UCF @ Florida +2.5: This is my "glad if I'm wrong" pick
just kidding!
Old Mist -17.5
TAMU -3.5
Oklahoma -2.5
Mississippi St. + 38.5
Alabama +2
LSU -21.5
Kentucky @ Old Mist -17.5: Kentucky has proven me wrong (sort of) already this season, but this doesn't seem like the kind of game in which they can prosper.
Arkansas vs TAMU -3.5: I'm glad they play this game in Dallas, in a soulless corporate stadium
Oklahoma -2.5 @ Auburn: Several contradictory thoughts: I think this is a 50-50 game, and there is no way Auburn is going to win, and I am also surprised Oklahoma is not a bigger favorite.
Mississippi St. +38.5 @ Texas: Texas .... good???
Georgia @ Alabama +2: I hate this.
South Alabama +21.5 @ LSU: Jaguars baby, rawr
Something Good: 5-5 (26-17)
Something Related But Much Worse: 6-4 (17-26)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Kentucky @ Old Mist -17.5
Arkansas vs TAMU -3.5
Oklahoma -2.5 @ Auburn
Mississippi St. @ Texas -38.5
Georgia -2 @ Alabama
South Alabama @ LSU -21.5
So, my building has entrances on - get this - four different floors. Isn't that wild? How, you say? Well it's a combination of stairs and the natural topography of the coastal plain as it slopes toward the Alabama river.
Florida -5.5
Kentucky -20
Auburn -3
UCLA +24.5
Mizzou - 20.5
Oklahoma +7
TAMU -23
South Carolina -27.5
Old Mist -36
Texas -44.5
Florida -5.5 @ Mississippi St.: mmmm hmmm baby that's the stuff. We are looking at a The Most Fired Coach in America special. I think Florida is better than MSU, but if they lose this game, it's a Lane-on-the-tarmac situation.
Ohio + 20 @ Kentucky: Stoops should have been fired for punting at the end of the UGA game.
Arkansas @ Auburn -3: Obviously we never pick against our awful pervert and murderer coaching staff, but Arkansas is going to win this game.
UCLA +24.5 @ LSU: Too many initials here. Am I watching a football game or New Deal legislation?
Vanderbilt @ Mizzou -20.5: It Just Means More
Tennessee -7 @ Oklahoma: cool
Bowling Green @ TAMU -23: BG almost beating Penn State means that TAMU will take them more seriously, right?
Akron @ South Carolina -27.5: Akron has not had an Inspiring Season so far. South Carolina had a win stolen from them against LSU.
Georgia Southern @ Old Mist -36: yuck
Louisiana-Monroe +44.5 @ Texas: They should go to ten conference games a season.
I was hopeful that this was the first time anyone has had a 10 game lead at the end of a week, but alas, I had a 10 game lead after week 9 last year.
It's impressive that you have built this after three weeks. I'm excited to see where you go from here! Previously, the largest lead after three weeks was 5 games by me in 2019. That year you clawed your way back (you had a 3 game lead by week 11!) but I won in a tiebreaker.
How Ground Coffee Smells: 10-3 (21-12)
How Brewed Coffee Tastes: 5-8 (11-22)
---------------------------------
Florida -5.5 @ Mississippi St.
Ohio @ Kentucky -20
Arkansas @ Auburn -3
UCLA @ LSU -24.5
Vanderbilt @ Mizzou -20.5
Tennessee -7 @ Oklahoma
Bowling Green @ TAMU -23
Akron @ South Carolina -27.5
Georgia Southern @ Old Mist -36
Louisiana-Monroe @ Texas -44.5
Al of Bama (-16) @ Wisconsin: can't bring myself to care
LSU @ South Care of Lina (+7): baby you know we click clackin
Busty College @ Mizzou (-17): another classic SEC-ACC match up / alt: when do classes start???
Tulane @ Okl of Homa (-14): One of these teams deserved an SEC invite, and it wasn't Oklahomer. [The almost-sent-in-error text this week started out something like, "Wishful thinking on Tulane's conference affiliation there buddy".]
TAMU (-4) @ Flor of Da: both of these teams have lost my Incoherent Quip privileges for the time being
UAB (+24.5) @ Arkansas: blazers!!
Old Mist (-23) @ Wake Forest: How many of these do I have to pick? It just keeps going!
UTSA @ UTA (-35): pretty good. pret-ty good.
Vanderbilt (-10.5) @ Georgia St.: Vanderbilt will beat Auburn
Georgia @ Kentucky (+24): Not sure this season that Kentucky has even the above-replacement-level mediocrity we've all come to hate about the Stoops coaching tenure.
New Mexico @ Auburn (-28): wrong
Toledo (+11.5) @ Miss of Sippi St.: I am 100% certain that this pick is the product of some stupid part of me still hoping that Auburn will be able to win at least one conference game this year.
Kent St. @ Tenn of See (-49): Tennessee might be good, like Real Good
Wisconsin +16 who am i and what am i doing?
South Carolina +7 I saw a South Carolina fan wearing a hat that just said "Cocks" and I was like uh, buddy... who wants to tell him...
Busty College +17 In the 5 minutes since I typed this, I have forgotten who they are playing!
Oklahoma - 14
Florida +4
Arkansas -24.5 Trent Dilfer
Old Mist -23
Regular Texas -35 Hug 'Em Horns
Vanderbilt -10.5
Georgia -24 Kroger Field
Auburn -28 haha
Mississippi St. -11.5 In this case, they will be Totrailo. Because they are going to have fewer points.
Kent St. +49 That is a lot of points.
*shivers*
Al of Bama (-16) @ Wisconsin
LSU (-7) @ South Care of Lina
Busty College @ Mizzou (-17)
Tulane @ Okl of Homa (-14)
TAMU (-4) @ Flor of Da
UAB @ Arkansas (-24.5)
Old Mist (-23) @ Wake Forest
UTSA @ UTA (-35)
Vanderbilt (-10.5) @ Georgia St.
Georgia (-24) @ Kentucky
New Mexico @ Auburn (-28)
Toledo @ Miss of Sippi St. (-11.5)
Kent St. @ Tenn of See (-49)
Michigan +7.5
Oklahoma St. -7.5
Cal +13
Kentucky -10
MTSU +41 So on the new cfb video game, I started a new guy who is a middle linebacker who signed with MTSU. Edison Grady and his teammates beat Old Mist 23-10 in this game. So, life imitates art, you know?
Alabama -31
Mizzou -34.5
NC St. +8
Oklahoma -30
Mississippi St. +6.5
Texas (-7.5) @ Michigan: infuriating
Arkansas @ Oklahoma St. (-7.5): ????
Cal of Fornia @ Auburn (-13): Arnold Schwarzenegger voice
South Carolina @ Kentucky (-10): The name's Field. Kroger Field.
MTSU @ Old Mist (-41): filing this one under "O" for "ooof"
USF @ Alabama (-31): Seems like USF should be unable to avoid being at least a decent football team, like it should just happen based on geography and such. But you'd think the same thing about regular Florida, and they look like a bunch of braindick morons out there.
Buffalo @ Mizzou (-34.5): I'm picking all favorites, seems fine
Tennessee (-8) v NC St.: Actually, yeah, let's pick all favorites.
Houston @ Oklahoma (-30): I thought Big Willie would be off to a better start, but getting pantsed by UNLV is not a good look.
Mississippi St. @ Arizona St. (-6.5): I actually think Mississippi State will cover and maybe win, but I feel committed to the bit.
The World's Beaniest Baby: 5-5 (5-5)
The World's 2nd Beaniest Baby: 3-7 (3-7)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Texas (-7.5) @ Michigan
Arkansas @ Oklahoma St. (-7.5)
Cal of Fornia @ Auburn (-13)
South Carolina @ Kentucky (-10)
MTSU @ Old Mist (-41)
USF @ Alabama (-31)
Buffalo @ Mizzou (-34.5)
Tennessee (-8) v NC St.
Houston @ Oklahoma (-30)
Mississippi St. @ Arizona St. (-6.5)
Look at all those SEC pick off labels. In 2008, there's no way I thought I would still be alive to do picks in 2024, and now, I still don't believe it.
Temple @ Oklahoma -42.5: Sure????
Clemson +13.5 v Georgia: Already letting emotions get in the way
Virginia Tech -13 @ Vanderbilt: lol this sucks
Colorado St. @ Texas -32.5: SEC TITANS FACE OFF
Miami (FL) @ Florida +2.5: The closest thing this week to a game I give one roasted cat turd about
Old Dominion @ South Carolina -21: yeah click clack
WKU @ Alabama -31.5: ???
Notre Dame +3 @ TAMU: Two kinds of people who should not be allowed to vote, featured in this game: Texans and farmers.
Southern Miss @ Kentucky -28: Would have been a cool game in 1995
USC v LSU -4.5: actually this might be pretty good. I think LSU wins it pretty easy though
Temple +42.5 That is a lot of points and Bobby Wallace has the Owls primed for a big year.
Georgia -13.5 Bowden Bowl!
Virginia Tech -13 Vandy needs to lose the zero (current coach) and get with a hero (Turner Gill).
Colorado St. + 32.5 Lotta horns here.
Florida +2.5 Miami will never again reach the dizzying heights of the Mark Richt era.
South Carolina -21 This weekend at my mom's birthday party, someone asked who the coach was at South Carolina and I said "Beamer Ball" and everyone just looked at me blankly. There were no follow up questions.
Alabama -31.5 No ma'am.
Notre Dame +3 Well, TAMU can do, but Notre Dame wins the game.
Southern Mist +28 Kroger Field.
LSU -4.5 Aaahh Gaaahrohnteee
Why was there a spread for Eastern Kentucky @ Mississippi State? I had to look up if EKU had made the jump. Apparently not. Therefore... it ain't here, Chief. We live by a strict code 'round these parts.
Just make picks whenever! No {v} Nice Bookie {v}! We're very flexible and open to change 'round these parts!
Temple @ Oklahoma -42.5
Clemson v Georgia -13.5
Virginia Tech -13 @ Vanderbilt
Colorado St. @ Texas -32.5
Miami (FL) -2.5 @ Florida
Old Dominion @ South Carolina -21
WKU @ Alabama -31.5
Notre Dame @ TAMU -3
Southern Miss @ Kentucky -28
USC v LSU -4.5
Had these lined up for a while, but it's been a busy time, so I don't remember if any of them are actually good.
1. Bases Loaded - hit it
2. City Blocks - merge things
3. Looper - it is a game called Looper
As an Alpha Male, I will not be explaining myself and most and first and importantly and foremost of all, I WILL NOT BE APOLOGIZING
MYRTLE BEACH: (32) Georgia Southern / Ohio
Walt, masculinely gnawing on a $4 cigar, "let's go georgia southern! I'm a big idiot!"
NEW ORLEANS: (8) UL-Lafayette / Jacksonville St.
If you asked 100 non-Alabamians where is "Jacksonville State University" I bet a bunch of them would spit in your face. It's in Alabama, they'd say through clenched teeth. Whar tha hell else would it be, they'd yammer. I'm not even from thar and *spits* ah reckon you ain't never killed a boar have ye?
CURE: (36) Appalachian St. / Miami (OH)
There's guys with signs and then there's THAT GUY with THAT SIGN.
NEW MEXICO: (24) New Mexico St. / Fresno St.
ahkhh
LA: (7) Boise St. / UCLA
It was called Boyse St. until Avril Lavigne dropped her hit song "Skater Boi." Then THE DARKENING happened and we all know where it went from there!
INDEPENDENCE: (9) Texas Tech / Cal of fornia
pew pew *blows smoke from fake pistol, several toddlers lie in pools of real blood*
FAMOUS TOASTERY WHAT THE HELL: (13) WKU / ODU
A mad lib where it's three questions and they're all "what is a letter" and at the end, boom, you have a university... *record scratch* that last one's gotta be "u" sis!
FRISCO: (38) UTSA / Marshall
UTSA would be a big favorite over the other members of the paw patrol too.
BOCA RATON: (14) USF / Syracuse
USF would be a big favorite over the other city-states of ancient Sicily too.
GASPARILLA: (10) UCF / Georgia Tech
Gusparilla
BIRMINGHAM: (22) Troy / Duke
I thought they decided Troy vs Duke... *tries to figure out which duke was involved in the Iliad*
CAMELLIA QUEEN OF THE BOWLS: (26) Arkansas St. / Northern Illinois
speaking of huskies *rocks back and forth, whistling, like 1923 mickey mouse*
ARMED FORCES: (27) Jim Madison / Air Force
air planes! vroom.
POTATO: (2) Utah St. / Georgia St.
*sunken eyes, a hollow and gaunt face*
MOBILE: (39) South Alabama / EMU
Joey Jones left BSC to coach South Alabama and I blame him for "The Muckup on The Hilltop"
LAS VEGAS: (37) Utah / Northwestern
Roll the dice and spin the wheel! These two teams came to PLAY!
HAWAII: (33) San Jose St. / Coastal Carolina
Sir, we're running out of carolinas to name bad football teams after, the secretary of states said to the president.
QUICK LANE: (23) Minnesota / Bowling Green
They should be called Bowling Orange/Brown. Thank you
FIRST RESPONDER: (15) Texas St. / Rice
First Responder? I hardly know her!
GUARANTEED RATE: (35) Kansas / UNLV
The only guaranteed rate here is the rate I will be enjoying this game which is 4.
MILITARY: (4) Tulane / Virginia Tech
Tulane undergoing massive upgrades on campus. Pretty soon they're going to be Fourlane! Thank you
DUKE'S MAYO: (3) North Carolina / West Virginia
West Virginia should make a legitimate push for Virginia to call itself East Virginia.
HOLIDAY: (5) USC / Louisville
If this is a holiday, I'd rather be at work! Yeesh.
TEXAS: (18) Oklahoma St. / TAMU
Everything's stupider in Texas.
FENWAY: (34) SMU / Boston College
Catholics vs Convicts
POP TART: (29) Kansas St. / NC St.
Pop Tarts: The Other White Meat
ALAMO: (20) Oklahoma / Arizona
You would think this would be easy. Two football teams.
GATOR: (30) Clemson / Kentucky
Right? I mean, right?
SUN: (25) Notre Dame / Oregon St.
Beavers, haha. That's rich.
LIBERTY: (16) Iowa St. / Memphis
Libearty. The bear.
COTTON: (21) Ohio St. / Mizzou
His name should be Eli Coachwitz. Unless he's a drinker. Then his name is fine. I don't care.
PEACH: (31) Penn St. / Old Mist
The guardians of The Old Ways (pedophilia and institutional racism).
MUSIC CITY: (1) Auburn / Maryland
There was reportedly an extended cut of the hell-orgy scene in Event Horizon but the footage was lost. No reason I'm talking about that here.
ORANGE: (41) Georgia / Florida St.
*draws in deep breath in preparation of explaining why Florida St. should be in the playoff* lol, lmao
ARIZONA: (12) Toledo / Wyoming
Holy Toledo!
RELIAQUEST: (17) LSU / Wisconsin
*Will Smith slaps Chris Rock* Take Reliaquest out of your mouth! Welcome to Earth!
CITRUS: (6) Iowa / Tennessee
I know it's supposed to be citrus, but this one seems like a lemon! In that my children will want to taste it and make performative faces about how "spicy" it is.
FIESTA: (40) Oregon / Liberty
This is for all the Tostitos! For Oregon that means Subarus and weird craft beers. For Liberty that means January 6th.
ROSE: (19) Alabama / Michigan
See above, kinda.
*SOAD VOICE* SUGAR: (11) Texas / Washington
Alamo Bowl ass semifinal
You (a fool): I believe in the tradition, the sanctity, of college football's bowl games.
Me (wise): lets watch the pop tart bowl
Myrtle Beach Bowl Georgia Southern -3.5 vs Ohio Dec. 16 10:00 am
R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl Jacksonville St. -3 vs Louisiana Dec. 16 1:15pm
Cure Bowl Miami(Ohio) vs Appalachian St. -5.5 Dec. 16 2:30 pm
New Mexico Bowl New Mexico State -3 vs. Fresno State Dec. 16 4:45 pm
LA Bowl UCLA -2 vs Boise St. Dec. 16 6:30 pm
Radiance Tech Independence Bowl California vs Texas Tech -3 Dec. 16 8:15 pm
Famous Toastery Bowl Western Kentucky vs Old Dominion -2.5 Dec. 18 1:30 pm
Scooter’s Coffee Frisco Bowl UTSA -10 vs Marshall Dec. 19 8:00 pm
RoofClaim.com Boca Raton Bowl USF vs Syracuse -3 Dec. 21 7:00 pm
Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl UCF -5 vs Georgia Tech Dec. 22 5:30 pm
Birmingham Bowl Duke vs Troy -7.5 Dec. 23 11:00 am
Camellia Bowl Arkansas St vs NIU -1 Dec. 23 11:00 am
Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl James Madison -3 vs Air Force Dec. 23 2:30 pm
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl Utah State -1 vs. Georgia State Dec. 23 2:30 pm
68 Ventures Bowl South Alabama -16 vs Eastern Michigan Dec. 23 6:00 pm
SRS Distribution Las Vegas Bowl Utah -7 vs Northwestern Dec. 23 6:30 pm
EasyPost Hawaii Bowl Coastal Carolina vs San Jose St. -9.5 Dec. 23 9:30 pm
Quick Lane Bowl Bowling Green vs Minnesota -4 Dec. 26 1:00 pm
SERVPRO First Responder Bowl Texas State -4 vs Rice Dec. 26 4:30 pm
Guaranteed Rate Bowl Kansas -12.5 vs UNLV Dec. 26 8:00 pm
Military Bowl Virginia Tech -7.5 vs Tulane Dec. 27 1:00 pm
Duke’s Mayo Bowl North Carolina vs West Virginia -3 Dec. 27 4:30 pm
Holiday Bowl Louisville -8 vs USC Dec. 27 7:00 pm
TaxAct Texas Bowl Texas A&M vs Oklahoma St -3. Dec. 27 8:00 pm
Wasabi Fenway Bowl Boston College vs SMU -11.5 Dec. 28 10:00 am
Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl Rutgers vs Miami(FL) -2 Dec. 28 1:15 pm
Pop-Tarts Bowl NC State vs Kansas St. -3 Dec. 28 4:45 pm
Valero Alamo Bowl Arizona -3 vs Oklahoma Dec. 28 8:15 pm
TaxSlayer Gator Bowl Clemson -7 vs Kentucky Dec. 29 11:00 am
Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl Notre Dame -8 vs Oregon St. Dec. 29 1:00 pm
AutoZone Liberty Bowl Memphis vs Iowa St. -8.5 Dec. 29 2:30 pm
Goodyear Cotton Bowl Missouri -2.5 vs Ohio St. Dec. 29 7:00 pm
Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl Ole Miss vs Penn St. -3.5 Dec. 30 11:00 am
TransPerfect Music City Bowl Auburn -2.5 vs Maryland Dec. 30 1:00 pm
Capital One Orange Bowl Florida St vs Georgia -14 Dec. 30 3:00 pm
Barstool Sports Arizona Bowl Toledo vs Wyoming -3 Dec. 30 3:30 pm
ReliaQuest Bowl Wisconsin vs LSU -10.5 Jan. 1 11:00 am
Cheez-It Citrus Bowl Iowa vs Tennessee -8.5 Jan. 1 12:00 pm
VRBO Fiesta Bowl Oregon -16 vs Liberty Jan. 1 12:00 pm
Rose Bowl(Playoff) Michigan -1.5 vs Alabama Jan. 1 4:00 pm
Allstate Sugar Bowl(Playoff) Washington vs Texas -4 Jan. 1 7:45 pm
Cruel, cruel MARF.
MARF: 5-4 (47-49-2); {v}1,040.08
marf: 5-4 (56-40-2); {v}1,425.25
I don't mean to alarm anyone, but that means the all-time records are tied.
MARF: 382-353-11
marf: 382-353-11
wow.
Old Mist at Mississippi State +11: It was close last year, right?
Missouri -7.5 at Arkansas: ok
Kentucky at Louisville -7: Kentucky seems to be falling apart.
Texas A&M +11 at LSU : Video game number guy looks to have video game numbers.
Alabama at Auburn +14.5: The amount of coping excuse making from Auburn fans about the New Mexico State loss specifically and in general Hugh Freeze, who has had a first season characterized by everything that those opposed to his hire expected, has been embarrassing as a fan base.
Vanderbilt at Tennessee -26.5: ok
Florida State -6.5 at Florida: A drunk Florida State fan on Tuesday night told me that the back-up for Florida State is just as good as the starter was, and he then explained to me how the concept of substitutions in football works.
Clemson -7 at South Carolina: Dabo is mad about last year.
Georgia -24.5 at Georgia Tech: ok
{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}150 on Clemson -300 to win {v}50
Gimme {v}148.50 on Louisville -275 to win {v}54
Old Mist -450, -11 at Mississippi State +300 T:55.5
Missouri -300, -7.5 at Arkansas +240 T:54.5
Kentucky +225 at Louisville -275, -7 T:50.5
Texas A&M +340 at LSU -450, -11 T:66.5
Alabama -700, -14.5 at Auburn +500 T:49
Vanderbilt +1400 at Tennessee -5000, -26.5 T:56.5
Florida State -275, -6.5 at Florida +225 T:50.5
Clemson -300, -7 at South Carolina +240 T:51.5
Georgia -3000, -24.5 at Georgia Tech +1200 T:60.5
and i am a MARF-terial girl.
Madonna: 3-5 (42-45-2); {v}1,138.58
Yourdonna: 3-5 (51-36-2); {v}912.16
What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun? One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but MARF abideth for ever.
Old Mist -37.5
Mississippi St. -14
Georgia -10.5
Auburn -23.5
Mizzou -11
Kentucky -1.5
Arkansas -29.5
LSU -30.5
Lotta minuses up there, ha ha.
{v}
1. {v}294.25 on Auburn -3000 to win {v}9.81
2. {v}9.81 on Florida +325 to win {v}31.88
Louisiana-Monroe at Old Mist -37.5: That seems like a pick.
Southern Miss +14 at Mississippi State: okay
Georgia -10.5 at Tennessee: Georgia is good again.
New Mexico State +23.5 at Auburn: This line seems insanely high, but then Auburn has been playing really well lately. Tough.
Florida at Missouri -11: Weird for Florida to be so mid.
Kentucky -1.5 at South Carolina: Feels like another line I do not understand.
Florida International +29.5 at Arkansas: piggies vs panthers
Georgia State +30.5 at LSU: These are stupid games this week
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}400 on Georgia -400, to win {v}100 would love to be wrong
Gimme {v}77 on Kentucky -1.5, to win {v}70
Louisiana-Monroe +5000, at Old Mist -100000, -37.5 T:62.5
Southern Miss +425 at Mississippi State -600, -14 T:46.5
Georgia -400, -10.5 at Tennessee +310 T:58.5
New Mexico State +1200 at Auburn -3000, -23.5 T:48.5
Florida +325 at Missouri -450, -11 T:59.5
Kentucky -125, -1.5 at South Carolina +105 T:54.5
Florida International +3000 at Arkansas -10000, -29.5 T:51.5
Georgia State +3000 at LSU -10000, -30.5 T:71.5
MARF: 5-2 (39-40-2); {v}1,115.58
BARF: 5-2 (48-31-2); {v}1,216.22
Alabama, -10.5 at Kentucky: Alabama is good again.
Vanderbilt at South Carolina -13.5: Vanderbilt is bad again.
Tennessee -1 at Missouri: don't know
Auburn +3 at Arkansas: Seems like an insulting line, even worse that it's probably correct.
Old Mist at Georgia -10.5: I hate this.
Florida at LSU -13.5: Florida is not good.
Mississippi State +18.5 at TAMU: lol. lmao.
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}100 on Auburn +125, to win {v}125
Gimme {v}250 on Alabama -450, to win {v}55.56
Gimme {v}200 on Georgia -500, to win {v}40
MARF.
Alabama -10.5
South Carolina -13.5
Tennessee -1
Auburn +3
Georgia -10.5
LSU -13.5
Mississippi St. +18.5
{v}
MARF!
1. {v}225.70 on Alabama -450 to win {v}50.15
2 {v}50.15 on Auburn +125 to win {v}62.69
Alabama, -450, -10.5 at Kentucky +340 T:47.5
Vanderbilt +425 at South Carolina -600, -13.5 T:58.5
Tennessee -110, -1 at Missouri -110 T:58.5
Auburn +125 at Arkansas -150, -3 T:48
Old Mist +360 at Georgia -500, -10.5 T:58.5
Florida +450 at LSU -650, -13.5 T:63.5
Mississippi State +625 at TAMU -1000, -18.5 T:43
Arkansas +6 at Florida: I guess
Jacksonville State +15.5 at South Carolina: This is a weird line. Does RichRod have a little something for them????
UConn at Tennessee -35.5: This would be a heck of a women's college football game.
Texas A&M +at Old Mist -3: Lane hates Jimbo.
Missouri at Georgia -15.5: Georgia decided they are good now.
Auburn -12.5 at Vandy: This seems like the kind of game that Brother Hugh will use to run up the score and burnish his rep, or that Auburn will lose.
Kentucky -3.5 at Missississippi State: Feels like I'm missing something here with this line.
LSU +135 at Alabama -165, -3 T:60.5: tahd
{v} {v} {v} THE NICE BOOKIE {v} {v} {v}
{v} {v} {v} THE NICE BOOKIE {v} {v} {v}
{v} {v} {v} THE NICE BOOKIE {v} {v} {v}
Gimme {v}200 on Jacksonville State +15.5, to win {v}181.82
Gimme {v}100 on Auburn -12.5, to win {v}90.91
The toilet bank, that is!
Florida -6
Jacksonville St. + 15.5 Dick Rod leads Cocks against Cocks lol
Tennessee -35.5 If it were -36 it would be a no-brainer the other way
Old Mist -3
Mizzou +15.5 Tigers. Rawr.
Vanderbilt +12.5 Recalling how in 2008 gameday went to nashville for the auburn/vandy game. Auburn lost and - in a fit of rage and stupidity - I dumped my trash can into my washing machine. They say history repeats itself. I mean, idiots say that (per Varkham Markham) but I'm the guy who dumped his trash into his own washing machine so I definitely say that.
Kentucky -3.5
Alabama -3
{v}
1. {v}164.70 on Old Mist -160 to win {v}102.93
2. {v}113.88 on TAMU +135 to win {v}153.74
Arkansas +185 at Florida -225, -6 T:49.5
Jacksonville State +550 at South Carolina -800, -15.5 T:54.5
UConn +4000 at Tennessee -50000, -35.5 T:53.5
Texas A&M +135 at Old Mist -160, -3 T:53.5
Missouri +525 at Georgia -750, -15.5 T:54.5
Auburn -500, -12.5 at Vandy +360 T:49.5
Kentucky -165, -3.5 at Missississippi State +135 T:46
LSU +135 at Alabama -165, -3 T:60.5
Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?
Professional Wrestling: 1-4 (28-37-1); {v}622.69
The Other Kind of Wrestling: 5-0 (38-27-1); {v}1,114.33
P.U.
South Carolina vs Texas A&M -14: Man do I hope South Carolina (the worst team in the SEC now?) wins this. It's not going to happen, but it would give TAMU some serious anxiety.
Georgia vs Florida +14.5: I'm glad that guy got hurt
Mississippi State +6.5 vs Auburn: 6.5, that reads more like the o/u for this one. Imagine trusting this Auburn team to do literally anything for you. This is going to be bad football, and I feel bad that I'm going to watch the entire thing.
Tennessee -3.5 vs Kentucky: Tennessee keeps hurting me, let's keep it up
Vanderbilt +24.5 vs Old Mist: Seems like a lot
{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}
{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}74.80 on Florida +14.5 to win {v}68
"Boo!" - a ghost (spooky)
"BOOOOOOO!" - people I don't even know while they read these wrong picks. they're throwing garbage at me.
South Carolina +14 Wrong.
Georgia -14.5 Nope. Wrong.
Auburn -6.5 Counting on Will "John" Rogers not playing. Wrong.
Tennessee -3.5 Way wrong.
Old Mist -24.5 Embarrassing. Hopeless. Wrong.
{v}
Time to lose some fake money.
1. {v}300.00 on Old Mist -3000 to win {v}10.00
Wrong.
South Carolina +425 vs Texas A&M -600, -14 T:53.5
Georgia -650, -14.5 vs Florida +450 T:47.5
Mississippi State +210 vs Auburn -275, -6.5 T:43.5
Tennessee -185, -3.5 vs Kentucky +150 T:51.5
Vanderbilt +1200 vs Old Mist -3000, -24.5 T:63.5
Lookin' Spiffy in a Tie: 4-1 (27-33-1); {v}629.49
Lookin' Stupid and Not Making a Rhyme or Doing Anything Clever or Interesting: 4-1 (33-27-1); {v}1,104.33
That's the largest bux lead ever after Week 8. Time to get even stupider.
These all seemed pretty easy. 5-0 fo sho.
Mississippi St. +6
Mizzou -7
Tennessee +8.5
Old Mist -6.5
LSU -30.5
{v}
1. {v}161.45 on Old Mist -250 to win {v}64.58
2. {v}64.58 on Mississippi St. +210 to win {v}135.62
Mississippi State +6 vs Arkansas: sure
South Carolina vs Missouri -7: Missouri seems to be peaking
Tennessee +8.5 vs Alabama: Feels like a game that's going to be lower scoring than predicted
Old Mist -6.5 vs Auburn : Look for me at the game; I'll be wearing orange and blue.
Army vs LSU -30.5: ???
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
The two games I feel most confident about are Missouri and Old Mist. Since Old Mist is on the road, that means Missourah.
Gimme {v}151.24 on Missouri -275, to win {v}55
Gimme {v}48.40 on South Carolina vs Missouri going over 59.5, to win {v}44
Mississippi State +210 vs Arkansas -275, -6 T:48.5
South Carolina +220 vs Missouri -275, -7 T:59.5
Tennessee +275 vs Alabama -350, -8.5 T:49
Old Mist -250, -6.5 vs Auburn +200 T:56.5
Army +2000 vs LSU -15000, -30.5 T:57.5
Some of these seem very wrong!
Georgia -31.5
Alabama -19.5
Florida +2.5
TAMU +3.5
Auburn +11.5
Kentucky -2.5
{v}
1. {v}163.65 on LSU -400 to win {v}40.91
2. {v}40.91 on Florida +110 to win {v}45.00
I'm now inspired to call my picks "the pearl of the Gulf." These picks are "the pearl of the Gulf."
Georgia vs. Vanderbilt +31.5: Seems like a lot
Arkansas vs Alabama -19.5: Recently learned that the Pit Man's buyout halves if he has a career record below .500. He is currently 21-21, with some tough sledding ahead. You'd think that would make me pick Arkansas, but no.
Florida +2.5 vs South Carolina: Is it more weird that Florida is an underdog to South Carolina, or more weird that it's not that surprising?
Texas A&M vs Tennessee -3.5: I originally wrote "that pudgy freak better not let me down this time," but I realize that doesn't really clarify which head coach I am talking about.
Auburn +11.5 vs LSU: I like Auburn coming off an off week, but not enough to pick them.
Missouri +115 vs Kentucky -140, -2.5 T:52.5: spooky
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
Not working with a lot of bux.
Gimme {v}126 on Tennessee -3.5 vs. TAMU, to win {v}114.55.
Georgia -20000, -31.5 vs. Vanderbilt +2200 T:55.5
Arkansas +700 vs Alabama -1100, -19.5 T:46.5
Florida +110 vs South Carolina -135, -2.5 T:51.5
Texas A&M +145 vs Tennessee -175, -3.5 T:55.5
Auburn Tigers +310 vs LSU -400, -11.5 T:60.5
Missouri +115 vs Kentucky -140, -2.5 T:52.5
I found a pearl in an oyster. Do not bite a pearl.
Bruce Pearl: 1-5 (20-29-1); {v}503.94
Pearl from MST3K: 4-2 (28-21-1); {v}818.22
I realized this morning that it would have been funny to include the Red River Shootout on the list of conference games.
LSU vs. Missouri +6.5: Feels like another barnburner
Western Michigan vs. Mississippi State -20.5: who cares
Alabama -2.5 vs. Texas A&M: Not buying it
Vanderbilt +18 vs. Florida: If Florida lost to Vanderbilt, would Louisiana Billy make it to the end of the season?
Kentucky +14.5 vs. Georgia: I think we're looking at a 20-10 kind of score here.
Arkansas vs. Old Mist -11.5: It's weird about Sam Pittman, because Arkansas fans seem to love him, but also they seem to think he's not a good coach and want him gone.
{v}{v}{v}
Betting time: guh! Working with {v}497.27. Time to go dumber.
Gimme {v}300 on Old Mist -450, to win {v}66.67
Gimme {v}60 on Missouri +200, to win {v}120
Doin' the old "Charlie Robot." All favorites, baby.
LSU -6.5
Mississippi St. -20.5
Alabama -2.5
Florida -18
Georgia -14.5
Old Mist -11.5
{v}
Terrible thing to do here. Reprehensible.
1. {v}119.33 on Alabama -140 to win {v}85.23
2. {v}85.23 on TAMU +120 to win {v}102.28
LSU -6.5, -240 vs. Missouri +200 T:63.5
Western Michigan +900 vs. Mississippi State -20.5, -1500 T:58.5
Alabama -2.5, -140 vs. Texas A&M +120 T:49.5
Vanderbilt +625 vs. Florida -18, -950 T:54.5
Kentucky +475 vs. Georgia -14.5, -650 T:47.5
Arkansas +350 vs. Old Mist -11.5, -450 T:62.5
The Animaniacs from the show: 3-4 (19-24-1); {v}497.27
The Animaniacs convicted of "The Animaniacs Murders": 4-3 (24-19-1); {v}818.22
