I'll put a gun to a bunny like choose Say somethin' funny or bunny go boom

comics I like

Cyanide & Happiness

 

Well I guess what they say is true I could never spend my life with a man like you

I'm gonna get myself I'm gonna get myself I'm gonna get myself connected

"Guy wouldn't know majesty if it came up and bit him in the face." / "That happened once!"

 

So I said, Johnny, whatcha doing tonight? He looked at me with a face full of fright

There was a summer I was pretty obsessed with this song.

You let me change lanes / While I was driving in my car

comics I like

Nancy

me, whenever somebody says "It's been"

P, lemme hear you say "Uhh"

How

I guess I just really paid attention to football this season.

Depending on how you evaluate the tied game, I either had the best ever pick them merely one of the best ever. 

WIN PERCENTAGE:

Tha Captain 2020 (tie thrown out): 75.0%

Charles 2019: 74.4%

Charles 2012: 74.3%

Tha Captain 2020 (tie counted as .5): 74.0%

Tha Captain 2020 (tie counted as not-a-win): 72.0%

It does not matter how you evaluate the tied game, you had the worst pick them of all time. I'm very sorry.

What are bowls? We just don't know

Peach Bowl

Cincinnati (+7) vs Georgia

2021 is going to be better than 2020. I think Like Pickles is a good coach. 

Citrus Bowl

Auburn (+3.5) vs Northwestern

Vrbo? What kind of idiot name is Vrbo? Anyway, this is a stupid pick, but I have a brand to maintain

Rose Bowl

Notre Dame vs Alabama (-20)

I might take Alabama -30. "Eff" the Rose Bowl for giving up their traditional match-ups. I hope nobody watches this game. 

Sugar Bowl

Ohio St. (+7.5) vs Clemson

Tony Elliott was my favorite for the Auburn job. Harsin seems fine, but I think Clemson will miss Elliott. I assume he is the grandson of former Alabama congressman Carl Elliott. 

Gator Bowl

NC St. (+2.5) vs Kentucky

Seems like a thing. I'm fairly certain I didn't watch NC State at all this year. 

 

Outback Bowl

Old Mist (+8.5) vs Indiana 

I think ole Kiffy is playing up the Covid problems, but I am probably wrong. 

Fiesta Bowl

Oregon (+4) vs Iowa St.

You can throw out the records when these two rivals meet "on the gridiron".

Orange Bowl

North Carolina (+7.5) vs TAMU

I for one am glad TAMU didn't make the play-offs. 7 points would be a much harder pick than 7.5. 

You can't concede, you're going to win!

It's weird that "screw the pooch" is accepted as a normal thing you can say. But anyways, time for me to completely mess this up.

Peach

Georgia -7

Georgia... Peaches... you can't make this stuff up

Citrus

Northwestern -3.5

porple power

Rose

Alabama -20

wailing, gnashing, yadda yadda yadda

Sugar

Ohio St. +7.5

extremely O H and incredibly I O

Gator

NC St. + 2.5

singing "wooolf pack" to the tune of love shack

Outback

Old Mist +8.5

lane train

Fiesta

Oregon +4

quack attack

Orange

TAMU -7.5

the tamu flu

Batch 3(E)

Get em hot n ready by 2 of clock.

January 1

Peach Bowl

Cincinnati vs Georgia (-7)

January 1

Citrus Bowl

Auburn vs Northwestern (-3.5)

January 1

Rose Bowl

Notre Dame vs Alabama (-20)

January 1

Sugar Bowl

Ohio St. vs Clemson (-7.5)

January 2

Gator Bowl

NC St. vs Kentucky (-2.5)

January 2

Outback Bowl

Old Mist vs Indiana (-8.5)

January 2

Fiesta Bowl

Oregon vs Iowa St. (-4)

January 2

Orange Bowl

North Carolina vs TAMU (-7.5)

extremely bowl pick them and incredibly not close at this point but you never know!

I might have already won, we'll just have to wait and see.

A THIRD NUMBER APPEARS

There's a first TIE-me for everything lol

GOING GREAT

Christmas

That's right it's bowl picks

Camellia Bowl

Marshall vs Buffalo (-3)

I totally forgot that Marshall had been in the MAC, and I wondered why these teams had played each other so much before. That makes this a case of Former conference mates collide. 

Dec. 26

Cure Bowl

Libearty vs Coastal Carolina (-6)

LIBEARTY! I get it, joyous humor. I HOPE IT MAKES A REAPPEARANCE.

Dec. 26

First Responder Bowl

Louisiana-Lafayette (-13) vs UTSA

I still can never remember which Louisiana school is which. LSU? Who's that?

Dec. 26

LendingTree Bowl

Western Kentucky vs Georgia State (-4.5)

LendingTree huh. Ladd-Peebles is a good stadium name. 

Dec. 29

Cheez-It Bowl

Oklahoma St. vs Miami (FL) (+3)

This is a pretty good match up. I'd pick Miami straight up (skrait up). 

Dec. 29

Alamo Bowl

Texas vs Colorado (+12.5)

Buddy, you better believe it: Former conference mates collide. 

Dec. 30

Duke's Mayo Bowl

Wake Forest vs Wisconsin (-7)

Calling it right now: Future conference mates collide. 

Dec. 30

Music City Bowl

Iowa vs Missouri (+14)

I wonder if people call him "The Drink." I would. But not right now. I initially wrote "Former conference mates collide" because it felt true, and it was! Both are former members of the Western Interstate University Football Association (1892-1897). That's a catchy name! 

Dec. 30

Cotton Bowl

Florida (-3) vs Oklahoma

Did you know these teams played for the national title???? And they did it earlier this month??????? 

Dec. 31

Armed Forces Bowl

Tulsa (-2.5) vs Mississippi St.

1. LOL. 2. This is, as usual, an insult to The Troops. 

Dec. 31

Arizona Bowl

Balls St. vs San Jose St. (-7)

SJS is going to go down in the record books as the last team to ever beat a Bryan Harsin-coached team. Reading this back, it seems like a threat! 

Dec. 31

Libearty Bowl

West Virginia (-9) vs Tennessee Army (+9)

WHOA HO! WE MEET AGAIN. A CHUCKLE AND A TIP OF THE HAT TO YOU, GOOD SIR. 

Dec. 31

Texas Bowl

Arkansas  (+6) vs TCU

Formless confrontation mutts confer.  I thought the Pitt Man should have been SEC Coach of the Year. 

Picks Part II root doot doot doooo

rootin, tootin, high pollutin (this is in reference to a butt which is where I found these games and picks and this whole mess we're in)

Buffalo -3

We Are Buffalo (this is a reference to a movie about a plane crash which is what these picks will become)

UL Lafayette -13

Raging (about) Cagings (this is a reference to the school's mascot and also what the libs did about President Trump's border policies)

Western Kentucky +4.5

Best Western Kentucky (sponsorship, baby)

Libs Erty +6

When I was a little kid, the girl next door wanted to go to Liberty. I wonder if she did. She also had a boyfriend (possibly fake (she was home-schooled)) with maybe an Italian-sounding name (or at least Italian-sounding to an 8 year old). My friend Jake (from down the street) called him "Chicken Primavera."

Oklahoma St. -3

typing this with my hands in finger guns configuration

Texas -12.5

typing this with my face as I place my fingers atop my head to give myself "the horns of a steer"

Wisconsin -7

Wisconsin is one of only 4 power5 schools not to have a baseball team. the others are, you guessed em, Colorado, Iowa St., and Syracuse

Iowa -14

I meant to pick Missouri but i'm not changing it.

Oklahoma +3

Big Game Bob will have the sooners ready to rock n roll.

Mississippi St. +2.5

Mike Leach is good in bowl games. This is another thing I believe because I stopped being capable of learning A New Thing About Football in like 2006.

San Jose St. -7

watched the series finale of Silicon Valley last night. pretty funny.

Army +9

bumper sticker I saw the other day: "Proud Parent of a Soldier." get a life, man.

Arkansas +6

they should put a little curly tail on the back of their pants. TCU, I mean.