wow week five season's really flying by huh

Old Mist -6.5

Alabama -17.5

TAMU +4

Auburn +8

Mizzou +28

{v}

This is cheating.

1. {v}672.99 on Mississippi St. -154 to win {v}437.01

2. {v}427.01 on TAMU +160 to win {v}683.22

I wish there was a Five Guys here

Kentucky at Old Mist (-6.5): an established Lane Believer

Alabama at Arkansas (+17.5): Seem like a lot of points for what might be a slog of a game

TAMU at Mississippi State (-4): Who cares

LSU (-8) at Auburn : Auburn has not covered in a single game this year. Going for the reverse letdown. 

Georgia (-28): Missouri is a dumb team of bad players. I am going to feel stupid for not betting the over on a game that's going to be like 63-28.

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}THE NICE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

I got {v}931.49. Is this the week I finally get back into the black? Probably not! 

Gimme {v}100 on Old Mist straight up (-227), to win {v}44.05

Gimme {v}32.87 on LSU-Auburn going over (T:45.5), to win {v}29.88

Gimme {v}100 on LSU straight up (-312), to win {v}32.05

Week I Got Five On It Lines

Week Five does not have that many games with lines.

Kentucky (+210) at Old Mist (-6.5, -227) (T:54.5)

Alabama (-17.5, -769) at Arkansas (+600) (T:61.5)

TAMU (+160) at Mississippi State (-4, -154) (T:45.5)

LSU (-8, -312) at Auburn (+290) (T:45.5)

Georgia (-28, -5000) at Missouri (+2000) (T:54.5)

Week Four Re-Sults clap clap clapclapclap

Charles: 4-6 (22-18), {v}931.49

Tha Captain: 8-2 (25-15), {v}1,100.00

unbelievable i stole an extra day and still forgot until the last minute

just calling it like it see it right at this moment

Mississippi St. -29

Kent St. +46

Mizzou +7

Florida +10.5

Old Mist -21

Northern Illinois +25

TAMU -2.5

Alabama -40.5

South Carolina -22

LSU -30

{v}

had to to plug this in to THA CAPTAINZ SPECIAL

1. {v}212.75 on Old Mist -1111 to win {v}19.15

2. {v}76.62 on Mizzou +230 to win {v}176.22

not ashamed to admit that I made some picks

In a hurry today!

Bowling Green at Mississippi State (-29): Declined

Kent State  at Georgia (-46): going to be a truly miserable football season

Missouri at Auburn (-7): good heavens I'm stupid

Florida at Tennessee (-10.5): I'm just about ready to become a Tennessee believer

Tulsa at Old Mist (-21): I'm also about to become an Old Mist believer

Northern Illinois at Kentucky (-25): No, Illinois! let me down last time

Arkansas (+2.5) at TAMU: Feels like a dumb pick

Vanderbilt (-40.5) at Alabama: Another dumb one

Bad Charlotte  at South Carolina (-22): cocks

New Mexico at LSU (-30): Time for Kelly to reassure the restless natives by beating a team from a state that shouldn't even exist

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

Let's get {v}904.50 up slightly higher. Clawing back. 

Gimmer {v}10.00 on Arkansas straight up (+120), to win {v}12.00

Gimme {v}50.00 on Tennessee straight up (-345), to win {v}14.49

Gimme {v}250.00 on Old Mist straight up (-1111), to win {v}22.50

Week 4 lines apparently

Fun fact: for Week Four, every home team is a favorite, something that has never happened for an SEC football week before.

Bowling Green (+2500) at Mississippi State (-29, -10000) (T: 52.5)

Kent State  (+5000) at Georgia (-46, -10000) (T: 63)

Missouri (+230)  at Auburn (-7, -270) (T: 51)

Florida (+320) at Tennessee (-10.5, -345) (T: 62.5)

Tulsa (+900) at Old Mist (-21, -1111) (T: 65.5)

Northern Illinois (+1700) at Kentucky (-25, -3333) (T: 53.5)

Arkansas (+120) at TAMU (-2.5, -128) (T: 48.5)

Vanderbilt (+5000) at Alabama (-40.5, -10000) (T: 59)

Bad Charlotte (+1280) at South Carolina (-22, -1250) (T: 69.5)

New Mexico (+2800) at LSU (-30, -5000) (T: 45.5)

*screaming stupidly*

 aahhh

Big Guy with a Plan: 6-3 (18-12); {v}904.50

Ignoring the Weather Advice of James Spann: 7-2 (17-13); {v}1157.47

cool Tom's Diner (Tim's Doner would be a good name for a cover band) cover

ok making progress it was 3:50 when i remembered to do this today

Georgia -24

Penn St. -3

Vanderbilt +3  i still belieVe

Alabama -48.5  why not

Old Mist -15.5

LSU +2.5

Akron +47.5

Florida -24.5

TAMU -5

{v}

1. {v}133.93 on Georgia -2000 to win {v}6.70.

2. {v}119.20 on LSU +116 to win {v}138.27

Week Threediocre

Georgia (-24) at South Carolina: yuck!

Penn State at Auburn (+3): You can purchase my new book, Bet To Lose, at airport bookstores everywhere

Vanderbilt at Northern Illinois (-3): I still instinctively assume that Michael Turner, who was born before I was and played his last NFL season in 2012, is still playing at Northern Illinois.

La-Mo at Alabama (-48.5): I guess the assumption is that Alabama will be mad, sure

Old Mist (-15.5) at Georgia Tech: Is this really low? Am I an idiot? I thought they were about to fire Goff Ceollins.

Mississississippi St at LSU (+2.5): Let's see what Krian Belly (a name I just made up as a nickname for LSU head football coach Brian Kelly) can do

Akron (+47.5) at Tennessee: That's a lot of points. 

South Florida (+24.5) at Florida: Not sold on Florida

Miami at TAMU (-5): don't care, hope they lose

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}812.67{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

That's right I've got {v}812.67. 

Gimme {v}80 on Old Mist to cover 15.5 at Georgia Tech, to win {v}72.73

Gimme {v}10 on LSU to win straight up (+116) vs Mississippi State, to win {v}11.60

Gimme {v}150 on Georgia to win straight up (-2000) at South Carolina, to win {v}7.50

Week Three(E) lines

Georgia (-24, -2000) at South Carolina (+1450) (T:52)

Penn State (-3, -150) at Auburn (+130) (T:47)

Vanderbilt (+128) at Northern Illinois (-3, -135) (T:58.5)

La-Mo (+5000) at Alabama (-48.5, -10000) (T:60.5)

Old Mist (-15.5, -625) at Georgia Tech (+500) (T:63.5)

Mississississippi St (-2.5, -120) at LSU (+116) (T: 53)

Akron (+5000) at Tennessee (-47.5, 10000) (T: 66)

South Florida (+1550) at Florida (-24.5, -2000) (T: 59)

Miami (+190) at TAMU (-5, -250) (T:45)

Week Two Results: Going Great

Last Week (Overall), COVIDBUX

Better Than Ezra: 5-4 (12-9), {v}812.67

Ezra: 2-7 (10-11), {v}1,012.50

one week i'm going to remember to do this before 3:45 on thursday but actually no i'm not

Vanderbilt +10    I BELIEVE

Alabama -20

South Carolina +7.5

Mizzou +9

App St. +18.5

Pitt +6.5

Florida -6

Auburn -23

Mississippi ST. -10.5

{v}

TIME TO GRIND

GIVE ME {V}250 ON AUBURN -2000 TO WIN {V}12.5

wow some picks, cool

Week Two Picks:

Wake Forest (-10, -350) at Vanderbilt (+280) (T:64): Vanderbilt is not good. 

Alabama (-20, -1667) at Texas (+900) (T:64.5): This line opened at like 14 points and Alabama has still gotten all the picks. 

South Carolina (+270) at Arkansas (-7.5, -340) (T:53): I would take Arkansas at 10 points, I think. 

Missouri (+270) at Kansas State (-9, -340) (T:57): Missouri's not good, right

Appalachian State (+700) at TAMU (-18.5, -1000) (T:52.5): sure

Tennessee (-6.5, -240) at Pittsburg (+200) (T:66): Seems like a pick. Tennessee vs. Pittsburg is a good game to be playing, on principle.

Kentucky (+175) at Florida (-5, -213) (T:52.5): I feel like this is a stupid pick. Not changing it. 

San Jose St. (+1100) at Auburn (-23, -2000) (T:50.5): Update: no one cares

Mississippi State (-10.5, -425) at Arizona (+340) (T:59.5): This game made me recheck it again, after rechecking it before, because: why is this happening. Cannot imagine betting on this. 

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}THE NICE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

{v}861.11 to play with, which means I need to bet at least {v}215.28.

GIMME {v}75 on Arkansas straight up (-340), to win {v}22.06.

GIMME {v}75 on Alabama straight up (-1667), to win {v}4.50.

GIMME {v}75 on Auburn to cover (-23), to win {v}68.18.

Looks like they're doing another week of football. Can you believe these guys?

Wake Forest (-10, -350) at Vanderbilt (+280) (T:64)

Alabama (-20, -1667) at Texas (+900) (T:64.5)

South Carolina (+270) at Arkansas (-7.5, -340) (T:53)

Missouri (+270) at Kansas State (-9, -340) (T:57)

Appalachian State (+700) at TAMU (-18.5, -1000) (T:52.5)

Tennessee (-6.5, -240) at Pittsburg (+200) (T:66)

Kentucky (+175) at Florida (-5, -213) (T:52.5)

San Jose St. (+1100) at Auburn (-23, -2000) (T:50.5)

Mississippi State (-10.5, -425) at Arizona (+340) (T:59.5)

Unlined: Samford at Georgia; Central Arkansas at Old Mist; Southern at LSU

goodness at all the scores and what not

wow, what a week of results. my wife took my son to the store and they bought a plastic skeleton and now he wants to take it everywhere with him.

The Skeleton's Name is Narple: 7-4 (7-5)

The Guy Who Would Have Named It, Like, "Bone Idiot" Or Something: 7-4 (8-4)

{v}

Cool Guy With A Lot Of Swagger: {v}861.11

Goes To A Rolling Stones Concert And Screams For Them To Play The Maroon 5 Song "Moves Like Jagger:" {v}1000.00

more frantic nonsense

When your instincts are as honed as mine, you don't need to spend a lot of time thinking about picks.

Tennessee -35.5

Mizzou -19.5

Oregon +17.5

Cincinnati +6

Troy +22.5

Florida +3

Kentucky -16.5

Alabama -41.5

Memphis +15

South Carolina -12.5

LSU -3

{v}

I will put {v}100 on Cincinnati +190 to win {v}190.

I will also put {v}800 on Kentucky -800 to win {v}100

I will not be taking questions at this time.

Week One Is the Week Won

I'm going to pick some football games, I'm happy to do it.

Ball State at Tennessee (-35.5): Big Boy is going to try to get that offense hummin'.

La. Tech at Missouri (-19.5): 2036 SEC title game preview

Oregon (+17.5) vs Georgia: I definitely, definitely, definitely Hate This.

Cincinnati at Arkansas (-6): I think Sam and the boys got a little something for 'em.

Troy at Old Mist (-22.5): I think Lane and the boys got a little something for 'em.

Utah at Florida (+3): I read on The Internet that Utah is a slow-starting team, that's my pick.

Miami at Kentucky (-16.5): I don't like that pudgy jerk who coaches Kentucky, but he seems pretty competent. Him fighting with the basketball coach via twitter was funny. 

Utah State (+41.5) at Alabama: (Italian accent) that's a lotta da points!

Memphis at Mississippi State (-15): Revenge game maybe?

Georgia St. at South Carolina (-12.5, -450): A funny and disrespectful line that is pretty hard to pick

Florida State vs LSU (-3): family

{v} {v} {v} THE NICE BOOKIE {v} {v} {v} 

GIMME {v}100 on LSU to win straight up (-155), to win {v}64.52

GIMME {v}100 on Georgia to win straight up (-900), to win {v}11.11

GIMME {V}50 on Old Mist to cover (-22.5), to win {v}45.45

week zero result

 wow this is wild

cell phone user: 0-1 (0-1)

giant moron who still uses one of those bag phones and also he eats aluminum foil because he doesn't know how else to get it off of the hot pocket that he microwaved with aluminum foil wrapped around it: 1-0 (1-0)

{v}

we got all our money, baby