Metal Monday

3E approves

welcome back.

3E is unique and fluctuates

Your 3E:

Your 3E is EVERY ESSENTIAL ELEMENT that helps you function optimally. Your 3E is unique and fluctuates; so knowing how to find your 3E easily is useful. The 3E process engages your own wisdom to work on behalf of what you really want.

That's pretty accurate, I think, but this is my 3E. More:

The 3E design is a culmination of six years conditioning my world and personal view, 22 years professionally supporting fortune 500's, non-profits and social entreprenuerships, and one particularly clear headed and hearted morning with my journal. Since that day, 3E has supported an emergence of inner wisdom that surprises and guides me, EVERY DAY! It catches my drifting, procrastination, ultimate agendas and especially my enthusiasm to support new patterning and progress. This momentum shows up with ease and light-heartedness even as it directs me toward engaging with people who face considerable obstacles in their own self conditioning.

Why is everyone trying to steal our brand? Actually, I know why: it's because we're awesome. Also, I am thinking lawsuit. Or more likely, perhaps some kind of licensing deal -- most of that does describe 3E in its fullness. 3E is large; 3E contains multitudes.

the lil'est terr'ist

Adorable.

I would like to see something terrible happen to the dickhole who boxed up live cats, though.

Two geography things

1. Latitudes not Attitudes: I think this guy actually underestimates some foundational importance in terms of geography and civilization. Example the first: Eurasia runs mostly east-west, so you can easily transmit ideas along similarly hospitable climes. Africa and the Americans run north-south, meaning that culture will be divided by climate as deserts, jungles, etc split peoples up. Example the second: Europe has many, many more navigable river miles than Africa does. It's easy to get around most of Europe by boat (which until about 150 years ago was the fastest and cheapest way to move stuff), while it's almost impossible in most of Africa. So, I think he doesn't give enough importance to geography and the early forms of civilization.

But in other ways he overestimates it. The divergences between Western Europe and China in the 1800s and 1900s were not due to geography, at least not the way that he explains it. That had more to do with political and social competition, culture, and just plain luck of the draw. If anything, geographic advantages hindered Chinese gains -- they had everything they needed, why scrabble for advantage? Europeans, in a relatively poorer spot and with more capable competitors, faced a different situation.

2. You Have No Idea How Big Africa Really Is (But This Map Does): actually yes I did have an idea thank you internet.

west do something cool with this

Pi-Search Results: it's got numbers!

LOLCAMS

SOMEONE WITH MORE MOTIVATION, MAKE IT HAPPEN. IF IT HASN'T ALREADY. YOU COULD SAY FUNNY THINGS LIKE TACKLING UR DOIN IT WRONG, I CAN HAZ HEIZMAN?, OR I AM IN UR END ZONES STEALIN UR LAPTOPS OR OTHER HILARIOUS THINGS. SO CLEVER.

I once ate ten thousand lightning bugs

The Oatmeal, total sell-out

rock on, student section.

Dear Auburn Students,


No place rocks like Jordan-Hare Stadium. I know that and you know that, but others are taking notice. Here's what Chris Low of espn.com said about Jordan-Hare earlier this week:


"There are a lot of places that rock around the SEC, and there are a lot of places around this conference that hold noise and make you feel like your ear drums are about to explode. But it’s that way from the opening kickoff at Auburn and only picks up steam from there. I’ve been to just about all the stadiums in the league the last few years, and I say with confidence that Jordan-Hare Stadium is as consistently loud and electric throughout the game as any stadium I’ve been to, and I think it’s gotten even more intense this season."


I could not have said it any better myself. When I asked you to go "All In" earlier this season, you answered the challenge. I'm asking you to bring it even louder and stronger this Saturday as we host the LSU Tigers. It will be the toughest test we have faced all season, and the stakes could not be higher.


Student gates will open 45 minutes earlier than normal, starting at 11:45 a.m. So come early, be loud and stay late! You are the best student section in the country, and I can't tell you how much your support means to our players. Thanks again for making Jordan-Hare Stadium the loudest and most electric stadium in the country. Keep it up!


See you Saturday.


War Eagle!


Gene Chizik

Head Football Coach

Calvin and Hobbes

Here's a (the?) list of 25 great Calvin and Hobbes strips. You could, of course, pick 25 random strips and have just as good a list, because that's how good Calvin and Hobbes was.

(the above is one of my favorites)

pink elephants

west you didn't tell me you bought Madden

You suck, corn growers

Corn Subsidies** in the United States totaled $73.8 billion from 1995-2009. In 2009, the top 10 percent of recipients were paid 61 percent of all USDA subsidies.

That whole website is depressing.

Don't be kind, don't be rude, just shake your boots and let it all get loose

Ole Miss football

Ole Miss, Completely Out of Character, Selects a Black:

Ole Miss has made its selection for mascot, turning away from the somewhat racially uncomfortable Colonel Reb, and instead embracing the regionally indigenous black bear.   The proposed design shows that the bear itself is not actually black, but instead kinda brown.  I would argue that, at Ole Miss, being black is a state of mind.

see, because they destroy pigs. soooooey.

Friday links

1. Television Tunes

II. Middle Earth

c. My Jello Americans (have these ready for our next 3E reunion)

2 touchdowns?

Dear Auburn Students,



This weekend, we will face our most difficult challenge so far this season when the 12th-ranked Arkansas Razorbacks visit Jordan-Hare Stadium. Just like our football team, you as students have risen to every challenge we've put in front of you.



It's difficult to quantify how valuable our student section and fans are, but in my mind, it's a two-touchdown advantage. If not for your energy and excitement, we may not have been able to capture victories against Clemson and South Carolina.



I want to challenge you again this Saturday. We need you in Jordan-Hare Stadium early and for you to be loud and energetic the entire game. Arkansas has the top-ranked passing offense in the Southeastern Conference and nothing is more difficult on a passing team than a loud crowd. Student gates will open 45 minutes earlier than normal, starting at 11:45 a.m. Come early, and stay late!



As you know, the game will be the marquee matchup in the SEC this weekend and will air before a national audience on CBS. Let's show college football fans across the country and everyone in Jordan-Hare Stadium that Auburn has the loudest and most energetic students in the nation.



I also want you to know how much I appreciate the class and sportsmanship that you demonstrate each and every week. Auburn is a special place, and we need you to help us keep it that way.



War Eagle!



Gene Chizik

Wednesday to do list: rock down to Electric Avenue

Johnny Horton shout out

Place names

All vernacular place names, personal names, and names of roads or rivers encode important knowledge. Some of that knowledge is a thumbnail history; for example Maiden Lane denotes the lane where five spinster sisters once lived, while Cider Hill Road is the road up the hill where the Cider Mill and orchard once stood. At one time, when the name became fixed, it was probably the most relevant and useful name for local inhabitants. Other names refer to geographical features: Mica Ridge Road, Bare Rock Road, Ball Brook Road. The sum of roads and place names in a small place, in fact, amounts to something of a local geography and history if one knows the stories, features, episodes, and family enterprises encoded within them.

For officials who require a radically different form of order, such local knowledge, however quaint, is illegible. It privileges particular knowledge over synoptic, standardized knowledge. In the case of colonial rule, when the conquerors speak an entirely different language, the unintelligibility of the vernacular landscape is a nearly insurmountable obstacle to effective rule. Renaming much of the landscape therefore is an essential step of imperial rule. This explains why the British Ordinance Survey of Ireland in the 1830s recorded and rendered many local Gaelic place names (e.g., Bun na hAbhann, Gaelic for “mouth of the river”) in a form (Burnfoot) more easily understood by the rulers.

The Trouble With the View from Above

Mario Fusion

I want to play this game but can't figure out how to get it or if it is even real. Spartan Armor Mario is adorable!

Friday zombie games

Stop the Zombies! is dumb, but Zombie4 is awesome. Kids don't need all these fancy graphics.

Metal Monday

Rock in Black

We need to buy one of these

I think this would totally be worth $250. Depending on how many people chipped in for photos, we could get it down to double-dollar-digits each.

Sample image:

wait what

what. that's it wikipedia, we're through. you too, ireland.

Monkey Monday

Best description of Les Miles' luck

Somewhere, there’s a portrait of Les Miles losing close game after close game.

here

Pill traders report rimjob trading 'surprisingly active'

Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Exceeds Two Hand Jobs

I fucked him up bad in the libarry. But, hey, that's the way the market's gonna be for a while.

metal monday

metal monday

my morning commute

jump!

The Simpsons does every Tennessee football game in 2010

Tennessee 32 UAB 29 (2OT) - Sober Up

saturday live thread aka things i would have txtd the chuckwagon had i not dropped my phone in the toilet last night

What a terrible bunch of early games.

Actually, I guess that's it. Bye!

UPDATE: Tennessee is bad. Poor lil UAB kicker.

UPDATE: "It's not gonna be a run if it's a pass." -Chris Spielman

UPDATE: Is UCLA good? Who cares.

actual student work.... mine!

that's a REAL panda.

Never Say No To Panda - watch more funny videos

I like the part where it's Always Sunny

you know what tonight is

this just in

happy equinox, nerds.

RIP Irvin Penfield

I hope the football team wears black this weekend.

3E party footage

Really, Satisfaktion? Couldn't think of anything to add?

tears of joy

This is the greatest thing that civilization has produced.

I think you'll get the joke

Winnipegg Kilpatrick
Yellohnyfe O'Brien
Thundar Bai McNulty
Saskatune Donnegan
Northwest Turritoriez O'Flaherty
Halifacks McGilicutty

etc.

this guy's pretty bizarre, gus

what's troubling gus

Dear Auburn students,

I am writing you today with a challenge. I want to challenge the Auburn Family to go "All In" for Auburn. This Saturday, we host Clemson in a nationally televised game that has the chance to give us some real momentum as we head toward the middle part of what will be a long season.

As you probably know by now, ESPN's College Football GameDay will be our guest in Auburn this weekend. Hosting GameDay is a great opportunity to show the nation what the Auburn Family is all about.

To start things off, I want to invite you to meet me on the green space between The Village Dining Hall and the Student Entrance at Auburn Arena at 8:00 p.m. tonight, Wednesday, Sept. 15. I look forward to this chance to speak to you, to thank you and to let you know how much your support means to our players.

We want Jordan-Hare to be rocking Saturday night well before kickoff, but we also want to show the nation how strong the Auburn spirit is when GameDay begins its live broadcasts Saturday morning at 8 a.m. on the east side of the stadium. So bring your signs, show your spirit and help us send the message that Auburn is a special place.

It's still early, and we have a lot of big games ahead of us, but let's get fired up and ready for the Clemson Tigers.

Thanks for being the best student section in the country. I hope to see you tonight as we talk about what "Auburn Family, All In" really means.

War Eagle!

Coach Gene Chizik

Hewitt-Trussvile representin'

I made fun of Brandon Cox, too, until he graduated and then Auburn sucked. :(

PS suck it florida fans, Tebow's rhino-build can't match Auburn's glass-limbed white boys. And don't talk to me about Brantley.

highest rated comment:

He seems so agile. Surprising! I would have thought his enormous balls would have got in his way more.

why does weezer suck so bad?

Metal Monday

I wish I'd known about the Summer of Mallett sooner

Was glad that some of the skanks I ran into this weekend exhibited better ball security than we did on Saturday. #skanks

NOT Ryan Mallett

Watermelon face

Driving in front of me yesterday

Goat matin'?

History maps links

A. One

B. Two

World air travel

College football experience etc

This is fantastic. Why didn't the WSJ put this out earlier?

Protips: Human Centipede

S - E - C!

this shit is precambrian

I can't stop listening to this album. Somebody help plz.

Best touchdown of day one

WTF??? STUPIDITY!

The Discovery Channel gunman went crazy because of shows like Jon and Kate Plus Eight. When the news came out I thought it was fake.

1. The Discovery Channel and it's affiliate channels MUST have daily television programs at prime time slots based on Daniel Quinn's "My Ishmael" pages 207-212 where solutions to save the planet would be done in the same way as the Industrial Revolution was done, by people building on each other's inventive ideas. Focus must be given on how people can live WITHOUT giving birth to more filthy human children since those new additions continue pollution and are pollution. A game show format contest would be in order. Perhaps also forums of leading scientists who understand and agree with the Malthus-Darwin science and the problem of human overpopulation. Do both. Do all until something WORKS and the natural world starts improving and human civilization building STOPS and is reversed! MAKE IT INTERESTING SO PEOPLE WATCH AND APPLY SOLUTIONS!!!!

This is my favorite part:

FIND SOLUTIONS JUST LIKE THE BOOK SAYS! Humans are supposed to be inventive. INVENT, DAMN YOU!!

That's the part that made me assume this was a fake, some kind of new reality show.

Whatever this crazy actually wanted to accomplish, all he's done is started a new internet meme.

You know what today is

You know what today is

somebody just got shat on

more.

this just in

That's pretty accurate, I'd say.

It begins

Game week, nerds.

Metal Monday

Bonus Metal Monday link

Simpsons Saturday

One of my favorites: What's a gym?

Friday game

Creeper World Training Sim. It's good enough that I briefly considered buying the full version. Of course I didn't because I am cheap and poor, but I did consider it.

now we know what happens...

when tha captainz away from his rudder. Weather posts.

Never a good sign

They said on the news this morning that the high temperature for the week is going to be 94, and I thought to myself how much cooler and more comfortable that sounded.

I'm ready for winter to be here.

3E approves

Jive

Saturday Buddy Holly

University bloat

Enrollment at America’s leading universities has been increasing dramatically, rising nearly 15 percent between 1993 and 2007. But unlike almost every other growing industry, higher education has not become more efficient. Instead, universities now have more administrative employees and spend more on administration to educate each student. In short, universities are suffering from “administrative bloat,” expanding the resources devoted to administration significantly faster than spending on instruction, research and service.

Between 1993 and 2007, the number of full-time administrators per 100 students at America’s leading universities grew by 39 percent, while the number of employees engaged in teaching, research or service only grew by 18 percent. Inflation-adjusted spending on administration per student increased by 61 percent during the same period, while instructional spending per student rose 39 percent. Arizona State University, for example, increased the number of administrators per 100 students by 94 percent during this period while actually reducing the number of employees engaged in instruction, research and service by 2 percent. Nearly half of all full-time employees at Arizona State University are administrators.

A significant reason for the administrative bloat is that students pay only a small portion of administrative costs. The lion’s share of university resources comes from the federal and state governments, as well as private gifts and fees for non-educational services. The large and increasing rate of government subsidy for higher education facilitates administrative bloat by insulating students from the costs. Reducing government subsidies would do much to make universities more efficient.

Administrative Bloat at American Universities

BBC Dimensions

I can't remember if we've featured something like this before, but it's fun.

Speaking maps: here's another.

this just in

Juicebot sighted recently in outdoor exhibit



Please stay tuned for more updates

Justin Beiber week lives

it never really ended

3E Field Trip Report

Success!

Christmas wish list update

Three Wednesday evening links

1. Separated by a common language

2. Why Some Countries Drive on the Right and Some Countries Drive on the Left

3. These Are Their Stories (my favorite)

man where I been

Busy, so here's something for West.

The end of an era

Birmingham Bowl, indeed.

Breathe easy, Birmingham. No more of this:

3E approves

Except John. He's dead to us.

THE HELL WE DO

WHAT IS THIS SHIT?



NO WE DON'T!

Friday games

1. Daytraders of the Dead

2. The super-awesome Freeway Fury

3. Not particularly fun, but, Halo 2600

Nutritious vegetables

Eating all your vegetables was a lot better for you in the '50s. Store-bought veggies weren't as pretty back then, but according to USDA data, they were packed with a lot more nutrients than their modern counterparts. The likely reason for the nutritional drop is that hybrid crops are often bred for size and color, not nutrients. Below, the stats for a few crops that have gone to seed.

Looks Great, Less Nutritious? | Don Kenn

OFFICIAL

Tha Captainz 2010 Auburn predictions:

Auburn loses to:
Alabama
Georgia
Two(2) of Miss St., Ole Miss, and Kentucky
Two(2) of Clemson, South Carolina, Arkansas, and LSU
ppj.c bowl to West Virginia

6 - 7. Heartwarming.

untitled

Impossibly bright, ground-zero bright, the seven AM sun blasts through the bank of uninterrupted windows.

“Hell of a way to wake up… Shouldn’t someone be cooking bacon or something?” Wes doesn’t so much say this. It is more of an expulsion. Like the words themselves are at the same time unpleasant yet necessary and somehow connected to the action of rolling over on the couch.

Other bodies stir on the floor, one rising and the other falling as the air mattress and its occupants seesaw to life.

The Black One covers his eyes with his tattooed arm. “Why is that so bright?” One arm being insufficient, now raising the other. Agitated and increasingly high pitched. “Did we do something wrong?”

The White One, significantly more composed, says something indifferent and muffled by his pillow.

There is no use trying to fall back asleep as each soon realizes. The pair on the floor slowly gain enough consciousness to reach that critical moment that males often experience when waking up after a long night of drinking and find themselves in a bedspace with a fellow (and usually only casually acquainted) male. White One to the loveseat and the moment is handled adequately.

“Wes, I want you to know I’m still pissed off that you didn’t come talk to those girls at the country-western biker bar last night,” the Black One says, rubbing his eyes and checking his phone.

“Those cougars?”

“Those girls were in college.”

“Whatever, I didn’t have my glasses. Doesn’t matter, though.”

The Black One sighs. The White One turns on the TV. Despite the abundance of channels, the most interesting thing on (but perhaps only interesting precisely because it isn’t interesting) is the BYU Network (this exists!), showing classic gymnastics.

“This exists.” Says the Black One, starting to giggle uncontrollably.

The White One has produced (oh, what’s this now?) a bottle of Jagermeister from his duffel and holds it, mischievously grinning. “A shot every half-hour until everybody else wakes up?”

The Black One giggles even harder. Wes eyes the White One and narrows his eyes. They have competed before. “Every half-hour? What are we? Mincing, turtleneck-wearing faggots? Every five minutes.”

And so it begins. Predictably, classic BYU gymnastics becomes genuinely rather than ironically interesting. Wes and the White One keep up the pace while the Black One becomes rather more engrossed in sending a text message to one of the non-cougars from the previous night. After much deliberation, the ideal text is decided to simply read “moist.” It does not illicit an immediate response.

As the clock approaches eight, the Jager approaches extinction. Stirring is heard elsewhere in the house. “I have a flask of bourbon in my bag. Well, blended bourbon. It isn’t very good,” Wes’s intonation at the end of this last sentence somehow makes it sound like an endorsement.

And so it continues. Just as the flask joins the Jager bottle in emptiness, footsteps on the stairs. Somewhat needlessly (no shame in an eight AM drunk), a silent agreement is made to act sober.

Our mystery footsteps belong to the Lord of the Manor as it were, the gracious host of the three groggy imbibers. “Good morning, boys. Hope the sun didn’t wake you.” Somehow, the three share a knowing glance without actually looking at each other.

“Mr. Palumbo, you haven’t shaved.” The Black One, despite drinking the least is the most inebriated. However, drunk as he may be, his observation is spot-on.

“Yeah, I’ve never seen you like this. You look DRUNK.” A calculated risk by Wes, gambling that the Black One wouldn’t explode in a fit of drunken giggles. Admirable restraint and the gamble pays off.

“Good heavens, you’re right!” Mr. Palumbo, a slight man with olive skin and dark features (Jewish? Mid-forties? Who knows…) reaches for his face with a look of abject terror and sprints down the hall and back up the stairs.

The dam breaks and the giggles roll. “And get that wife of yours to cook us some damn bacon!” the White One yells after the flustered host. Now in an exaggerated whisper, “You wanted bacon, right Wes?”

“I don’t know. I think I’m a vegetarian.” Wes rolls off the couch. Interestingly, it’s taken this long for his traditional morning erection to subside. Stumbling toward the kitchen, “How much beer do you think these people have?”

I hope that when the bombs fall this is the only thing that survives

From Tha Captainz Exploration Journal

Left for dead in this swamp (or is it a slough?) Only crawfish for company. He underestimates me. I’ve been gutshot before. A cuckolded husband’s scorn (how did he know?) can be as blinding as a woman’s can be furious.

This far into the muck, the crawfish have been known to grow quite large. Big enough? Have to be. Deep breath, now start digging. Mud mingles with blood and bowels. Further and further downward. Hand feels carapace. Not quite big enough yet. Keep digging before he can turn around. Not big enough to wear, but big enough that I don’t want to get to know him too well.

My insides are more mud than man, what’s left of my lungs burn, and my eyes (why open? dark in here) roll back in my head. Need to find this big fucker quick.

…and whaddaya know there he is. Gotta work quick. Knife out. God, the carapace is hard. It takes all my strength just to dent it and now he knows exactly where I am. SNAP. A claw the size of a VCR misses my leg by inches. I stab again and through. With an upward motion I gut the bastard. SNAP. His death throes succeed where his conscious efforts failed as that one cleanly lops off my left hand. With what little strength I have left, I pry him open and let the carapace envelop me. Somehow, it doesn’t seem so dark and unwelcoming down here anymore…

UPWARD UPWARD POWERFUL TAIL AND MANY ARMS PUMP THIS IS STRENGTH OUR VENGENCE WILL BE SATISFYING AND SLOW HE WILL KNOW OUR STRENGTH WE BREAK THE SURFACE HARSH BURNING SUNLIGHT NOW SPECKLED WITH AN EXPLOSION OF WONDERFUL COOL MUD THE TIME FOR OUR VENGENCE WILL COME BUT FOR NOW SOMETHING COMPELS US NOT TO LEAVE THIS SWAMP THIS HOME MAYBE BACK UNDER THE MUD FOR JUST A LITTLE WHILE MAYBE A LONG WHILE THIS HOME…

Inspiration/atmosphere:

Animal treatment

As it is, the subject hardly comes up at all among conservatives, and what commentary we do hear usually takes the form of ridicule directed at animal-rights groups. Often conservatives side instinctively with any animal-related industry and those involved, as if a thing is right just because someone can make money off it or as if our sympathies belong always with the men just because they are men.

I had an exchange once with an eminent conservative columnist on this subject. Conversation turned to my book and to factory farming. Holding his hands out in the “stop” gesture, he said, “I don’t want to know.” Granted, life on the factory farm is no one’s favorite subject, but conservative writers often have to think about things that are disturbing or sad. In this case, we have an intellectually formidable fellow known to millions for his stern judgments on every matter of private morality and public policy. Yet nowhere in all his writings do I find any treatment of any cruelty issue, never mind that if you asked him he would surely agree that cruelty to animals is a cowardly and disgraceful sin.

And when the subject is cruelty to farmed animals—the moral standards being applied in a fundamental human enterprise—suddenly we’re in forbidden territory and “I don’t want to know” is the best he can do. But don’t we have a responsibility to know? Maybe the whole subject could use his fine mind and his good heart.

Fear Factories

omg

oh my god

Fluffy's Last Stand - watch more funny videos

Metal Monday

don't say you haven't thought about it too.

Why the seal attempted to have sex with the penguin is unclear. But the scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal.

penguinfucker.

have you ever wondered...

what the first image google would spit back from an image search for 'surprising boner?' It's this:


How fun!

Congratulations, Hugh and Lisa

Lisa's Wedding