My thoughts on the immigration debate

Summed up pretty well here.

Happy Memorial Day, chumps

Hobbit model Saturday

This is some pretty impressive scale modeling.

My name is Maddie Chambers and this all began when I was a young child and read the Hobbit for the first time. I believe I was about 10 and I was instantly hooked. My Nanan lent me her copy of the Lord of the Rings about 1 year later and I remember thinking that the trilogy leaped into a far more complex world and one that I completely lost myself in. I have read Lord of the Rings about 20+ times now and each time it holds as much magic as the first time.

Example:

Poets in government

This formal and clever poet must find some such sense of the comic necessary, as he changes places each morning with that formal and intelligent commissioner of Social Security—since, as you’ve probably already guessed, they are one and the same person. Michael J. Astrue is the best poet ever to hold a truly major appointed position in the American government. And A.M. Juster is the best senior civil servant of whom American poetry can boast.

The question, of course, is why this double life of a public persona? Why has this former head of a major biotech firm, a lawyer, and a public servant chosen to share the same shadow as this very private poet with the sensitivity of a W.H. Auden mixed with the scathing wit of a Jonathan Swift? An even more fascinating question is why Astrue has for so long insisted on keeping these two identities separate. Years ago, when the poet X.J. Kennedy asked him why he insisted on using a pseudonym, Astrue told him that the main reason was that he didn’t want to be known as a novelty act—which, in truth, is more a dodge than an answer.

"Regard the Scuttlebutt as True"

Tractor fight!

Spintrias

Ancient Roman coins with sex scenes:

They were used in ancient Rome to request and pay for different “services” in brothels and from prostitutes on the street. Since there were a lot of foreigners coming to the city that did not speak the language and most of the prostitutes were slaves captured from other places the coins made the transactions easy and efficient. One side of these coins showed what the buyer wanted and the other showed the amount of money to be paid for the act.

not a real disease

A Conference Expansion Post

Everyone is treating the current round of conference expansion as if it's a given that the Big 10 will act, the SEC will respond, and the ACC/Big 12/Big East will scramble to recover.

That's probably true. But I think that it's time to strike for the little conferences. This is particularly true for the ACC, which risks losing some members should the SEC get hungry. The ACC model as it stands clearly isn't working -- their hilariously half-filled conference championship football games and dearth of legitimate national title contenders being the best examples. In football, the ACC is broken.

Basketball-wise, though, it's working pretty well. So the ACC should act with three things in mind:

1. Strengthen or at least don't further dilute your football brand.

2. Improve your conference's basketball prestige.

3. Prepare for the inevitable incursions of the SEC (and, possibly, the Big 10).

With that in mind, the ACC should consider expansion early, while it can get the drop on folks. I doubt the ACC will, because expansion was a mistake last time, and they got a bad reputation from it. But, as I said above, the conference obviously needs fixing. Further, who cares what people think?

If I were in charge of the ACC, we'd go for sixteen teams divided into two north-south divisions.

The Southern would include FSU, Miami, Clemson, Georgia Tech, and the four North Carolina schools. This would be the stronger division in both football and (especially) basketball.

The Northern Division would include current members Virginia Tech, Virginia, Maryland, and Boston College. Four additional teams would be added. I would make an offer to Penn State first, agreeing to pretty much whatever they want, but they wouldn't move. Instead, I'd have to raid the Big East for Pittsburgh, Louisville, West Virginia, and UConn.

The South is tougher either way. But I think it's a big improvement over the current conference in football, for a couple of reasons. First, while the South is a lot stronger, the North is deeper -- there's nobody that is a pit of football despair like Duke. Second, the conference championship game is almost certainly going to include one of the Florida teams, Clemson, or Georgia Tech, which should improve ratings and attendance.

As far as basketball goes, who cares how even the divisions are?

Vexillological World Cup: Knockout Stage

Don't remember what the flags look like? Fuck you!

Uruguay 2 - 1 Greece

England 3 - 3 Serbia
(England win 5 - 4 on penalties)

Denmark 2 - 0 New Zealand

Portugal 0 - 1 Switzerland

Argentina 2 - 1 France

Germany 3 - 2 Algeria

Slovakia 4 - 1 Holland

Honduras 1 - 0 North Korea



So, our quarterfinals look (if you could remember what they look like!) like this:

Uruguay
England

Denmark
Switzerland

Argentina
Germany

Slovakia
Honduras

Pretty stupid!

I can't stop watching the slow motion part

ISIS week

Metal Monday

ISIS week

Slightly less old shit:

ISIS week

Old shit:

I feel fine. I'm talking 'bout peace of mind.

ISIS week

ISIS have broken up. Thus, videos.

Two related zombie games

Zombie Baseball and the far superior Zombie Cricket.

Bananas

The humble banana almost seems like a miracle of nature. Colourful, nutritious, and much cherished by children, monkeys and clowns, it has a favoured position in the planet’s fruitbowls. The banana is vitally important in many regions of the tropics, where different parts of the plant are used for clothing, paper and tableware, and where the fruit itself is an essential dietary staple. People across the globe appreciate the soft, nourishing flesh, the snack-sized portions, and the easy-peel covering that conveniently changes colour to indicate ripeness. Individual fruit—or fingers—sit comfortably in the human hand, readily detached from their close-packed companions. Indeed, the banana appears almost purpose-designed for efficient human consumption and distribution. It is difficult to conceive of a more fortuitous fruit.

The banana, however, is a freakish and fragile genetic mutant; one that has survived through the centuries due to the sustained application of selective breeding by diligent humans. Indeed, the “miraculous” banana is far from being a no-strings-attached gift from nature. Its cheerful appearance hides a fatal flaw— one that threatens its proud place in the grocery basket. The banana’s problem can be summed up in a single word: sex.

The Unfortunate Sex Life of the Banana

2012 Olympics

Have you seen the new Olympic mascots for the 2012 London games?



Ye gods. You can't really tell from that picture, but the one on the right (I think he's the one for the special Olympics) is wearing a crotchless leotard. The other one has the famous "Lisa Simpson giving a blowjob" logo on the front.

You can tell in the even stupider costumes, though.



Goodness that is terrifying. I am fairly certain that blue one fought Godzilla in a special child-rape episode. This is shaping up to be the least aesthetic event ever in that orgy of nationalism, corruption, and waste.

The worst part is that the two symbols of England are the lion and the bulldog, two of the most awesome animals out there. It's even worse than when the Olympics were in Atlanta* and the mascot wasn't a failing inner-city school system.

*I still have an Izzy key chain, though I don't use it.

Vexillological World Cup: Knockout Stage

The bracket (imagine there's a bracket):

Uruguay (Gp A Winner)
Greece (Gp B Runner-Up)

England (Gp C Winner)
Serbia (Gp D Runner-Up)

Denmark(Gp E Winner)
New Zealand (Gp F Runner-Up)

Portugal (Gp G Winner)
Switzerland (Gp H Runner-Up)

Argentina (Gp B Winner)
France (Gp A Runner-Up)

Germany (Gp D Winner)
Algeria (Gp C Runner-Up)

Slovakia (Gp F Winner)
Holland (Gp E Runner-Up)

Honduras (Gp H Winner)
North Korea (Gp G Runner-Up)