Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Monday, December 30, 2013

here look at this shit

The premier league season is halfway over. You can see how it's going here. I made this thing to illustrate how it's spread out. Truly, the middle class is dead.


Thursday, December 19, 2013

CRISIS GAMES

Cap'n's selections first:

Dec 21:
Washington State v. Colorado State
San Diego State v. Buffalo
ULL v. Tulane

Dec 24:
Oregon State v. Boise State

Dec 27:
Maryland v. Marshall
Washington v. BYU

Dec 28:
North Carolina v. Cincinnati

Jan 1:
North Texas v. UNLV
Wisconsin v. South Carolina

Jan 3:
Missouri v. Oklahoma State
The Ohio State University v. Clemson

Jan 6:
Florida State v. Auburn

Tie-breaker: Combined national title game score
Cap'n: 69
Charlie: 72

tha captainz choices

Gildan New Mexico Bowl
Colorado State vs. Washington State
Dec. 21
pretty good matchup, imo
tha captainz choice: wazzou

Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl
Fresno State vs. USC
Dec. 21
lane kiffin has the boys of troy playing pretty good, imo
tha captainz choice: usc

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Buffalo vs. San Diego State
Dec. 21
the boys from down south will be just giddy to play around in the snow and you don't lose when you're giddy, imo
tha captainz choice: teks

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Tulane vs. UL Lafayette
Dec. 21
this one's gonna be spicy, imo
tha captainz choice: cajuns

Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl
East Carolina vs. Ohio
Dec. 23
figured urban's boys would be in a better bowl than this after winning 24 straight. probably a little to bummed to show up for this one, imo
tha captainz choice: ecu

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Boise State vs. Oregon State
Dec. 24
where do you think they came up with beavers? probably a lot of beavers around, i guess.
tha captainz choice: beavers

Little Caesars Pizza Bowl
Bowling Green vs. Pittsburgh
Dec. 26
pizza, pizza! or in this case pitt-za, pitt-za! lmao, they'll lose.
tha captainz choice: bg

San Diego County CU Poinsettia Bowl
Northern Illinois vs. Utah State
Dec. 26
the "cu" up there stands for "credit union" but it could stand for jordan lynch and the boys sayin "c u later" to the boys from utah!
tha captainz choice: niu

Military Bowl
Marshall vs. Maryland
Dec. 27
i would trust randy "dirty randy" edsall with my life, much less beating a 1AA team like marshall.
tha captainz choice: terps

Texas Bowl
Minnesota vs. Syracuse
Dec. 27
minnesota misses their dome, i bet. they'll be in high cotton inside the houston dome, imo
tha captainz choice: gophers

Fight Hunger Bowl
BYU vs. Washington
Dec. 27
the boys from seattle will be galvanized after losing head coach tyrone willingham to notre dame, expect them to take the boys from provo behind the woodshed!
tha captainz choice: udubs

New Era Pinstripe Bowl
Notre Dame vs. Rutgers
Dec. 28
in 1869 these two teams played the first ever game of college football at the old yankee stadium. the boys in the golden domes took that game 5 - 2. it's like all real historians say: history repeats itself, imo.
tha captainz choice: irish

Belk Bowl
Cincinnati vs. North Carolina
Dec. 28
i can't remember tuberville winning a single belk bowl at auburn.
tha captainz choice: heels

Russell Athletic Bowl
Louisville vs. Miami, FL
Dec. 28
the boys from "the ville" will say "we must protect this house!" in the russell athletic bowl!
tha captainz choice: the lou

Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl
Kansas State vs. Michigan
Dec. 28
wings, beer, sports!
tha captainz choice: kstate

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
Middle Tennessee vs. Navy
Dec. 30
middle tennessee is the second worst third of tennessee, imo
tha captainz choice: america's navy force

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl
Georgia Tech vs. Ole Miss
Dec. 30
hugh "the riddler" freeze is the best recruiter in the nation, literally every player on the team is a 5 star freshman sensation that has lived up to every iota of hype, imo
tha captainz choice: old mist

Valero Alamo Bowl
Oregon vs. Texas
Dec. 30
will the boys in green be able to slow down mack brown's vaunted "mack attack" offense? always bet on green, imo!
tha captainz choice: ducks

National University Holiday Bowl
Arizona State vs. Texas Tech
Dec. 30
expect points when these two high flying teams collide, imo. a fun game is to change the first letters of "kliff kingsbury" from a "k" to any other letter and get a star wars character's name.
tha captainz choice: asu

AdvoCare V100 Bowl
Arizona vs. Boston College
Dec. 31
catholics vs convicts! teams coached by rich "the mexican taco" rodriquez are notoriously felonious, imo.
tha captainz choice: zona

Hyundai Sun Bowl
UCLA vs. Virginia Tech
Dec. 31
hokie hokie hokie hi? more like hokie hokie hokie bye! expect the boys from bel air to leave "fresh prints" all over the corpses of the boys from blacksburg.
tha captainz choice: ucla

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Mississippi State vs. Rice
Dec. 31
dan mullins has the boys in maroon trending up, up, up.
tha captainz choice: the people's university

Chick-fil-A Bowl
Duke vs. Texas A&M
Dec. 31
when you're talking chick-fil-a, expect the more bigoted bunch to "bring home the chicken."
tha captainz choice: tamu

TaxSlayer.com Gator Bowl
Georgia vs. Nebraska
Jan. 1
my favorite new years tradition is junior driving his taxslayer race car onto the field during halftime. the fans go bonkers, the players sneak peeks from the locker rooms. makes you proud to live in this great land, imo
tha captainz choice: uga

Heart of Dallas Bowl
North Texas vs. UNLV
Jan. 1
what
tha captainz choice: unt

Capital One Bowl
South Carolina vs. Wisconsin
Jan. 1
can't wait for all of steve spurrier's jabs about bert bielema's weight! but they'll only serve to fire up the boys in red. jadaveon clowney? more like jadaveon downey because he is soft! lmao
tha captainz choice: 'consin

Outback Bowl
Iowa vs. LSU
Jan. 1
the boys from the bayou remember the last play of the '05 citrus bowl, so watch out hawkeyes, it's payback time!
tha captainz choice: lsu

Rose Bowl Game
Michigan State vs. Stanford
Jan. 1
neither team will score an they'll call the game on account of darkness.
tha captainz choice: trees

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
Baylor vs. UCF
Jan. 1
since usf is in tampa, ucf should be in pensacola or something, imo
tha captainz choice: baylor

Allstate Sugar Bowl
Alabama vs. Oklahoma
Jan. 2
might need two traditionometers for this bad boy.
tha captainz choice: tide

AT&T Cotton Bowl Classic
Missouri vs. Oklahoma State
Jan. 3
these two teams know each other all too well, the kids grew up playing each other. and like the old saying goes: familiarity breeds content... hot web content, that is! expect content about this game.
tha captainz choice: the zou

Discover Orange Bowl
Clemson vs. Ohio State
Jan. 3
dabo will be off to texas by the time this one kicks off
tha captainz choice: america's ohio state university

BBVA Compass Bowl
Houston vs. Vanderbilt
Jan. 4
they should play the pizza bowl at the new barons stadium, imo
tha captainz choice: vando

GoDaddy Bowl
Arkansas State vs. Ball State
Jan. 5
can't wait for the racy godaddy commershes and the even racier unrated web versions! probably some filthy innuendo about "balls" state and how arkansas state are the "red" wolves (red is the color of period blood).
tha captainz choice: balls state

BCS National Championship Game
Florida State vs. Auburn
Jan. 6
gus will be off to texas by the time this one kicks off
tha captainz choice: noles 
pointz: 69

C picks the games

so many bowls

Gildan New Mexico Bowl
Colorado State (4.5) vs. Washington State
Dec. 21
I like Mike Leach, a lot, but I feel like his offense is easier to stop when you've got time to prepare for it. Plus, Washington State seems to be one of those teams that hasn't gotten better during the season. I feel like (although I will not go back and check) Leach lets me down in bowl games.
My Pick: COLORADO STATE

Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl
Fresno State (7) vs. USC
Dec. 21
USC is free of the Kiffin burden, so they're better than the record indicates. I am also (without a shred of evidence) a believer that teams play better when they know they have to impress a new coach.
My pick: USC

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Buffalo (1) vs. San Diego State
Dec. 21
Buffalo lost to Ohio State by 20; San Diego State lost by 35. I am comfortable predicting a 15 point Buffalo win.
My pick: BISON

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Tulane (-1.5) vs. UL Lafayette
Dec. 21
Both of these teams lost handily to South Alabama.
My pick: TULANE

Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl
East Carolina (-13.5) vs. Ohio
Dec. 23
ECU has the best midfield logo in sports. Did you know they were moving to the AAC? I didn't. Ohio seems like a team on the decline, losing three in a row before their season-ending win over noted rival UMass.
My pick: EAST CAROLINA, COME ON NOW RAISE UP

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Boise State (3) vs. Oregon State
Dec. 24
Boise State hasn't really beaten anyone, but Oregon State's best game is probably their one-point loss to Oregon, which is not a lot to hang your hat on. If Boise were a state, it would have a population smaller than all fifty states, DC, and Puerto Rico. Among American territories, only Guam, the Virgin Islands, American Samoa, and Northern Mariana Islands would be smaller. So, the chances for Boise's statehood are, in my mind, very low.
My pick: BOISE STATE

Little Caesars Pizza Bowl
Bowling Green (-5) vs. Pittsburgh
Dec. 26
I am deeply, deeply disappointed that Pitt is not playing in Birmingham. Bowling Green is pretty good. Pitt, less so.
My pick: BOWLING GREEN

San Diego County CU Poinsettia Bowl
Northern Illinois (-1.5) vs. Utah State
Dec. 26
Northern Illinois will be disappointed to be in this game. But Utah State is still without their starting QB. Theory: NIU plays hard anyway, to be the school record winners.
My pick: NORTHERN ILLINOIS

Military Bowl
Marshall (-2.5) vs. Maryland
Dec. 27
I was kind of surprised Maryland had bowl eligibility. I do not think Andy Redsall is a particularly good coach. Plus, Eddy Randsell will probably have trouble keeping his team's head in the game, since this isn't exactly an exciting trip from College Park (which is a cool town). But it's hard to say either one of these is a particularly good team. I don't have a good reason to pick anything, either in this particular Pick Them selection or in life in general.
My pick: MARSHALL

Texas Bowl
Minnesota (-4) vs. Syracuse
Dec. 27
The seizure guy. Ol' Seizy.
My pick: MINNESODA

Fight Hunger Bowl
BYU (3) vs. Washington
Dec. 27
I believe I'm on record as being against this bowl name, not because I disagree with the goal of fighting hunger, but because the name is stupid. BYU is pretty good. Bronc(Obama) Mendenhall is a good coach.
My pick: BYU

New Era Pinstripe Bowl
Notre Dame (-15.5) vs. Rutgers
Dec. 28
Rutgers is statistically one of the worst pass-defending teams in the country. Notre Dame's not great, but they're not as bad as Rutgers, who is just barely better than Arkansas (a bad team who is bad at football).
My pick: NOTRE DAME

Belk Bowl
Cincinnati (3) vs. North Carolina
Dec. 28
Tommy! UNC just drilled right through five mediocre ACC teams in a row, which impresses me not a whit. It seems like people are expecting UNC to win this, and our boy Tommy does best as an underdog.
My pick: CINCY

Russell Athletic Bowl
Louisville (-3.5) vs. Miami, FL
Dec. 28
Teddy Bridgewater wants to look good for the pro scouts. Miami has shown themselves vulnerable to competent passing attacks and also Virginia Tech. I don't think either team is as good as their records indicate.
My pick: LOUISVILLE

Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl
Kansas State (-3.5) vs. Michigan
Dec. 28
Bill Snyder, I would hazard to offer, is the best coach in college football, or at least, he's done as good a job in the last few years as anybody else in American anywhere else has. Neither one of these teams has a big win; probably for Michigan, the best game is probably losing to Ohio State (?). I do really like Michigan's "A Bunch of Big Fat Guys Coaching Staff" strategy, but Snyder vs. Hoke is no contest.
My pick: KANSAS STATE

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
Middle Tennessee (6) vs. Navy
Dec. 30
My dad was in the Navy. So, there's that.
My pick: NAVY

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl
Georgia Tech (3) vs. Ole Miss
Dec. 30
You gotta give this one to old misty. I think Hugh Freeze is familiar enough with read offenses, and has enough time to prepare, that he can handle the option. I would hesitate because Ole Miss seemed to close the season poorly, but Georgia Tech did the same thing.
My pick: OLD MIST

Valero Alamo Bowl
Oregon (-13.5) vs. Texas
Dec. 30
Just eyeballing it, this should be the biggest blowout besides the Baylor-UCF game, right? Oregon has had kind of a disappointing season, but, that's nothing compared to what Texas had.
My pick: OREGON

National University Holiday Bowl
Arizona State (-14) vs. Texas Tech
Dec. 30
Arizona State scores more points and allows fewer per game than Texas Tech. TTU, on a big losing streak, is also prone to turnovers.
My pick: ARIZONA STATE

AdvoCare V100 Bowl
Arizona (-7.5) vs. Boston College
Dec. 31
Was Arizona's surprise Oregon blowout more a sign that Arizona could be a good team, or that Oregon was reeling? I incline to the latter. Still, that's better than BC, who managed to beat the middle of the ACC road. I can see plenty of reasons to pick Arizona in this game, and few for BC.
My pick: ARIZONA

Hyundai Sun Bowl
UCLA (-7) vs. Virginia Tech
Dec. 31
I cannot pick a team which willingly hired Scot Loeffler, after watching what happened to Auburn last season. It indicates, I can only assume, sabotage or perhaps suicidal thinking.
My pick: UCLA

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Mississippi State (-7) vs. Rice
Dec. 31
I think the middle of the SEC is better than the top of C-USA.
My pick: MISSISSISSISSIPPI STATE

Chick-fil-A Bowl
Duke (12.5) vs. Texas A&M
Dec. 31
My inclination is that none of the New Year's Eve bowl games will be close. I expect TAMU to win handily. Duke is pretty good for Duke, and I like David Cutcliffe, but Texas A&M has so much better an offense. The worst team that Texas A&M lost to is either LSU or Missouri.
My pick: TAMU

TaxSlayer.com Gator Bowl
Georgia (-9) vs. Nebraska
Jan. 1
I remember this game! My inclination is to pick Georgia to win 45-31. I do not like Georgia. Bo is on his way out. He could be proverbially coaching for his life, but I think he's more the type to get self-destructively angry in those circumstances.
My pick: THUGA

Heart of Dallas Bowl
North Texas (-6.5) vs. UNLV
Jan. 1
pretty quotidian match-up, imo
My pick: UNLV

Capital One Bowl
South Carolina (1) vs. Wisconsin
Jan. 1
Wisconsin hasn't had as good of a season as I thought, and I am surprised they are favored. They mostly beat the teams they were better than in the Big 10. South Carolina mostly beat the teams they were better than in the Southeastern Conference. S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C!
My pick: YEAH CLICK CLACK

Outback Bowl
Iowa (7) vs. LSU
Jan. 1
LSU is both more talented and better coached than Iowa, and they play in a tougher conference.
My pick: LSU

Rose Bowl Game
Michigan State (5) vs. Stanford
Jan. 1
I think I've made it clear, by this point, that I don't think the Big 10 is a very impressive football conference this season. Stanford has a couple of surprising losses, but MSU lost to Notre Dame. I think Arizona State and Oregon are probably either one as good as Michigan State, though in very different ways.
My pick: SAMFORD

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
Baylor (-16.5) vs. UCF
Jan. 1
If Baylor takes this remotely seriously: bloodbath. Even if they don't take it seriously at all: likely bloodbath.
My pick: BAY, LORD OF THE BEARS

Allstate Sugar Bowl
Alabama (-15) vs. Oklahoma
Jan. 2
we all know how this goes
My pick: ALABAMA

AT&T Cotton Bowl Classic
Missouri (-1) vs. Oklahoma State
Jan. 3
Despite puzzling losses to Oklahoma and West Virginia (!), I think OSU is the better team in a median game. Then again, Missouri only lost while heavily injured and closely to South Carolina, and to an Auburn team playing perhaps the best game of rushing offense in recent history. Of the teams I have watched with any frequency or interest, this is the game I am least sure about.
My pick: OKLAHOMA STATE

Discover Orange Bowl
Clemson (2.5) vs. Ohio State
Jan. 3
So I went into this pick thinking Clemson was pretty good, but, looking at their schedule, they only played strong teams - UGA (at the beginning of the season, before all the injuries), FSU, and South Carolina. They went 1-3, and the two losses were both pretty big. That said, Ohio State has close wins against the Big 10's middle class and a loss to Michigan State. So who the heck knows. I think Ohio State is the better team, but they'll be emotionally volatile after not playing for the national title. Clemson has more to gain from a redemptive bowl performance.
My pick: CLEMPSON

BBVA Compass Bowl
Houston (2.5) vs. Vanderbilt
Jan. 4
Houston's best win is probably Rice. Eh, whatever.
My pick: VANDY

GoDaddy Bowl
Arkansas State (8.5) vs. Ball State
Jan. 5
Ball State won a bunch of games, some of them against teams better than Arkansas State.
My pick: Ball State

BCS National Championship Game
Florida State (-8.5) vs. Auburn
Jan. 6
Either outcome will end up being a surprise to me. On paper Florida State is the better team by some margin. But Auburn has an apparently unstoppable rushing attack and has that "team of destiny" feel to it. I am doing it, I am going with my heart.
My pick: AUBURN!
O/U: 72

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

What happened during the hiatus?

These are the only thing meaningful things you missed:

1.


2. CVS Bangers

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

WE BACK HOES

We're also backhoes.

Gildan New Mexico Bowl
Colorado State vs. Washington State
Dec. 21

Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl
Fresno State vs. USC
Dec. 21

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
Buffalo vs. San Diego State
Dec. 21

R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Tulane vs. UL Lafayette
Dec. 21

Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl
East Carolina vs. Ohio
Dec. 23

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Boise State vs. Oregon State
Dec. 24

Little Caesars Pizza Bowl
Bowling Green vs. Pittsburgh
Dec. 26

San Diego County CU Poinsettia Bowl
Northern Illinois vs. Utah State
Dec. 26

Military Bowl
Marshall vs. Maryland
Dec. 27

Texas Bowl
Minnesota vs. Syracuse
Dec. 27

Fight Hunger Bowl
BYU vs. Washington
Dec. 27

New Era Pinstripe Bowl
Notre Dame vs. Rutgers
Dec. 28

Belk Bowl
Cincinnati vs. North Carolina
Dec. 28

Russell Athletic Bowl
Louisville vs. Miami, FL
Dec. 28

Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl
Kansas State vs. Michigan
Dec. 28

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
Middle Tennessee vs. Navy
Dec. 30

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl
Georgia Tech vs. Ole Miss
Dec. 30

Valero Alamo Bowl
Oregon vs. Texas
Dec. 30

National University Holiday Bowl
Arizona State vs. Texas Tech
Dec. 30

AdvoCare V100 Bowl
Arizona vs. Boston College
Dec. 31

Hyundai Sun Bowl
UCLA vs. Virginia Tech
Dec. 31

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Mississippi State vs. Rice
Dec. 31

Chick-fil-A Bowl
Duke vs. Texas A&M
Dec. 31

TaxSlayer.com Gator Bowl
Georgia vs. Nebraska
Jan. 1

Heart of Dallas Bowl
North Texas vs. UNLV
Wed., Jan. 1

Capital One Bowl
South Carolina vs. Wisconsin
Jan. 1

Outback Bowl
Iowa vs. LSU
Jan. 1

Rose Bowl Game
Michigan State vs. Stanford
Jan. 1

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
Baylor vs. UCF
Jan. 1

Allstate Sugar Bowl
Alabama vs. Oklahoma
Jan. 2

AT&T Cotton Bowl Classic
Missouri vs. Oklahoma State
Jan. 3

Discover Orange Bowl
Clemson vs. Ohio State
Jan. 3

BBVA Compass Bowl
Houston vs. Vanderbilt
Jan. 4

GoDaddy Bowl
Arkansas State vs. Ball State
Jan. 5

BCS National Championship Game
Florida State vs. Auburn
Jan. 6