If everything goes one person's way today, the Auburn game will-of course-be the potential clincher tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
2019 3E BOWL PICK THEM SCORE BOARD: EXTREMELY SPECIAL "THE GUNS OF NAVARONE PART II" EDITION
Well that is interesting but today could swing it to "not interesting" very quickly.
If everything goes one person's way today, the Auburn game will-of course-be the potential clincher tomorrow.
If everything goes one person's way today, the Auburn game will-of course-be the potential clincher tomorrow.
Monday, December 30, 2019
2019 3E BOWL PICK THEM SCORE BOARD: SUPER SPECIAL "THE GUNS OF NAVARONE" EDITION
Friday went one way, then Saturday went the other. That's just how the cookie crumbles.
You can clinch the w/l portion NYE afternoon in the Sun Bowl. The confidence portion will have to wait until at least the Alamo Bowl that night. I'm just one or two results away from making sure that at least one portion goes to "The Big 20" aka 2020.
Today features one very pivotal Music City Bowl (CRISIS, 39 PP), a pretty significant 1st Responders Bowl (18 PP) and the very useless Redbox (1) and Orange (0) Bowls. I hope you enjoy them. Toodaloo!
You can clinch the w/l portion NYE afternoon in the Sun Bowl. The confidence portion will have to wait until at least the Alamo Bowl that night. I'm just one or two results away from making sure that at least one portion goes to "The Big 20" aka 2020.
Today features one very pivotal Music City Bowl (CRISIS, 39 PP), a pretty significant 1st Responders Bowl (18 PP) and the very useless Redbox (1) and Orange (0) Bowls. I hope you enjoy them. Toodaloo!
Friday, December 27, 2019
Thursday, December 26, 2019
2019 3E BOWL PICK THEM SCORE BOARD: Very Special "I'm Here So I Might As Well Make A Score Board" Edition
Heap big excitement. Fun Fact: Regardless of what happens in the two games today, if every game goes your way on Friday, Saturday, and Monday, the Belk Bowl on New Year's Eve will clinch both parts of the pick them for you.
Monday, December 23, 2019
2019 3E BOWL PICK THEM SCOREBOARD: EXTREMELY SPECIAL "CIRCLE THE WAGONS" EDITION
4 games went "the way of Charles" and 3 went "the way of tha Captain" but the fewest POWER POINTS you acquired in your four wins was 11. The largest POWER POINTS value of my three wins was 10. You do the math! NOT. I just did it for you.
Wednesday, December 18, 2019
CRISIS Awareness Post: Know Your CRISES
POWER POINTS at stake are in POWERentheses.
12/21
Boca Raton: SMU v FAU (10)
Las Vegas: Washington v Boise St. (27)
12/24 (sorry santa, we're busy!)
Hawaii: BYU v Hawaii (26)
12/27
Military: North Carolina v Temple (17)
Texas: TAMU v Oklahoma St. (26)
Holiday: Iowa v USC (37)
Cheez-It: Air Force v Washington St. (10)
12/28 (sorry Ed, we're busy!)
Fiesta: The Ohio St. v Clemson (6, the least pivotal CRISIS game of all time)
12/30
Music City: Mississippi St. v Louisville (39)
12/31
Belk: Kentucky v Virginia Tech (41)
Sun: Arizona St. v Florida St. (17)
Alamo: Utah v Texas (39)
1/1
Outback: Auburn v Minnesota (42)
Rose: Oregon v Wisconsin (33)
1/3
Potato: Ohio v Nevada (50)
Here are all the games ranked by POWER POINTS (as above, the combined points wagered in CRISIS games or the difference in wagers in agreed games). POWER POINTS are the driving force behind the POWER FACTOR. He who hath the most POWER POINTS wins.
For all games, the winner that would benefit you is listed first. For CRISES that's pretty clear. For agreed games: if you have more points on the line, a shared win benefits you so our mutual pick is listed first. If I have more wagered, you benefit if we lose. For agreed games, our mutual pick is italicized.
1. Potato: Ohio v Nevada, 50 POWER POINTS
2. Outback: Auburn v Minnesota, 42
3. Belk: Kentucky v Virginia Tech, 41
4. Music City: Mississippi St. v Louisville, 39
4. Alamo: Utah v Texas, 39
6. Holiday: Iowa v USC, 37
7. Rose: Oregon v Wisconsin, 33
8. Las Vegas: Washington v Boise St., 27
8. Cotton: Memphis v Penn St., 27
10. Hawaii: BYU v Hawaii, 26
10. Texas: TAMU v Oklahoma St., 26
10. Armed Forces: Tulane v Southern Mist, 26
13. Gator: Indiana v Tennessee, 18
14. Military: North Carolina v Temple, 17
14. Sun: Arizona St. v Florida St., 17
16. Pinstripe: Wake Forest v Michigan St., 15
16. Birmingham: Cincinnati v Boston College, 15
18. Bahamas: Buffalo v UNC-Charlotte, 14
18. 1st Responder: WMU v WKU, 14
20. Camellia: Arkansas St. v FIU, 13
21. Independence: Miami (FL) v La Tech, 12
21. Camping World: Iowa St. v Notre Dame, 12
23. Cure: Liberty v Georgia Southern, 11
24. Boca Raton: SMU v FAU, 10
24. Cheez-It: Air Force v Washington St., 10
26. Arizona: Georgia St. v Wyoming, 8
27. Gasparilla: UCF v Marshall, 7
27. Citrus: Michigan v Alabama, 7
27. Sugar: Baylor v Georgia, 7
37. Mobile: Miami (OH) v UL-Lafayette, 7
31. Fiesta: Ohio St. v Clemson, 6
32. Liberty: Navy v Kansas St., 5
33. Peach: Oklahoma v LSU, 4
34. Frisco: Utah St. v Kent St., 1
34. New Orleans: UAB v Appalachian St., 1
34. Quick Lane: Pitt v EMU, 1
34. Redbox: Cal v Illinois, 1
38. New Mexico: San Diego St. v Central Michigan, 0
38. Orange: Florida v Virginia, 0
12/21
Boca Raton: SMU v FAU (10)
Las Vegas: Washington v Boise St. (27)
12/24 (sorry santa, we're busy!)
Hawaii: BYU v Hawaii (26)
12/27
Military: North Carolina v Temple (17)
Texas: TAMU v Oklahoma St. (26)
Holiday: Iowa v USC (37)
Cheez-It: Air Force v Washington St. (10)
12/28 (sorry Ed, we're busy!)
Fiesta: The Ohio St. v Clemson (6, the least pivotal CRISIS game of all time)
12/30
Music City: Mississippi St. v Louisville (39)
12/31
Belk: Kentucky v Virginia Tech (41)
Sun: Arizona St. v Florida St. (17)
Alamo: Utah v Texas (39)
1/1
Outback: Auburn v Minnesota (42)
Rose: Oregon v Wisconsin (33)
1/3
Potato: Ohio v Nevada (50)
Here are all the games ranked by POWER POINTS (as above, the combined points wagered in CRISIS games or the difference in wagers in agreed games). POWER POINTS are the driving force behind the POWER FACTOR. He who hath the most POWER POINTS wins.
For all games, the winner that would benefit you is listed first. For CRISES that's pretty clear. For agreed games: if you have more points on the line, a shared win benefits you so our mutual pick is listed first. If I have more wagered, you benefit if we lose. For agreed games, our mutual pick is italicized.
1. Potato: Ohio v Nevada, 50 POWER POINTS
2. Outback: Auburn v Minnesota, 42
3. Belk: Kentucky v Virginia Tech, 41
4. Music City: Mississippi St. v Louisville, 39
4. Alamo: Utah v Texas, 39
6. Holiday: Iowa v USC, 37
7. Rose: Oregon v Wisconsin, 33
8. Las Vegas: Washington v Boise St., 27
8. Cotton: Memphis v Penn St., 27
10. Hawaii: BYU v Hawaii, 26
10. Texas: TAMU v Oklahoma St., 26
10. Armed Forces: Tulane v Southern Mist, 26
13. Gator: Indiana v Tennessee, 18
14. Military: North Carolina v Temple, 17
14. Sun: Arizona St. v Florida St., 17
16. Pinstripe: Wake Forest v Michigan St., 15
16. Birmingham: Cincinnati v Boston College, 15
18. Bahamas: Buffalo v UNC-Charlotte, 14
18. 1st Responder: WMU v WKU, 14
20. Camellia: Arkansas St. v FIU, 13
21. Independence: Miami (FL) v La Tech, 12
21. Camping World: Iowa St. v Notre Dame, 12
23. Cure: Liberty v Georgia Southern, 11
24. Boca Raton: SMU v FAU, 10
24. Cheez-It: Air Force v Washington St., 10
26. Arizona: Georgia St. v Wyoming, 8
27. Gasparilla: UCF v Marshall, 7
27. Citrus: Michigan v Alabama, 7
27. Sugar: Baylor v Georgia, 7
37. Mobile: Miami (OH) v UL-Lafayette, 7
31. Fiesta: Ohio St. v Clemson, 6
32. Liberty: Navy v Kansas St., 5
33. Peach: Oklahoma v LSU, 4
34. Frisco: Utah St. v Kent St., 1
34. New Orleans: UAB v Appalachian St., 1
34. Quick Lane: Pitt v EMU, 1
34. Redbox: Cal v Illinois, 1
38. New Mexico: San Diego St. v Central Michigan, 0
38. Orange: Florida v Virginia, 0
Tha Captainz Picks 2019: They're Just Right Here For All To See!!!!!
There are 39 bowl games in honor of the 39 white men who signed the U.S. Constitution.
BAHAMAS
(5) Buffalo v UNC-Charlotte
Turner Gill finally got the Bulls turned around.
FRISCO
(28) Utah St. v Kent St.
How often is it the case that all of Auburn's 1A non-con opponents make bowl games? It didn't happen the previous two years and that's as far back as the ncaa's records go.
NEW MEXICO
(17) San Diego St. v Central Michigan
A duel of relatively uncontroversial native american mascots. boring.
CURE
(29) Georgia Southern v Liberty
Ah good another chance for me to mention "Li-Bear-ty" the Beanie Baby.
BOCA RATON
(8) FAU v SMU
idk
CAMELLIA
(10) Arkansas St. v FIU
Ah yes it's "those teams are definitely in the same conference in my brain" time of year
LAS VEGAS
(16) Boise St. v Washington
Spin the wheel, roll the dice... and let the chips fall where they may.
NEW ORLEANS
(39) Appalachian St. v UAB
That guy with the wooden App St. sign. Do you think he made it or do you think he found it in the toilet?
GASPARILLA
(32) UCF v Marshall
It should be easy to think of something to say about a football game but it sometimes it isn't.
HAWAII
(4) Hawaii v BYU
Look out! It's the Hawaii Bowl!
INDEPENDENCE
(22) Miami (Fl) v La Tech
Remember when the ACC expanded and everybody (me) thought that the ACCCGpbDr.P would be Florida St. vs Miami every year and then that hasn't even happened once? Both teams have played in the Independence Bowl more times than they've played each other for the ACC title.
QUICK LANE
(31) Pitt v EMU
There was a comic book guy named "Pitt." From wikipedia: "Pitt is a human/alien hybrid, created by an alien race known as the Creed, genetically engineered to serve as a killing machine. He appears more alien than human, with red pupil-less eyes, gray skin, absence of a nose, sharp oversized teeth and large talons." There's no punchline here, I'm not going to say something like "oh i'm sorry that was the wikipedia article on MY MOTHER IN LAW" or something like that. I'm also not going to say anything about how EMU is the word Emu. Let's just move on.
MILITARY
(12) Temple v North Carolina
Temple is so named because it was started in the basement of a Baptist temple. That's so stupid. The first classes were tutoring sessions for working-class citizens and were taught late at night. This is why their mascot is the Owl. That's less stupid i guess but it's not cool. gtfoh temple.
PINSTRIPE
(27) Michigan St. v Wake Forest
"Wow, Michigan St vs Wake Forest," he said, failing miserably to feign any interest.
TEXAS
(11) Oklahoma St. v TAMU
Let's circle this back to the 39 white dudes who signed the Constitution. 5 Williams, 4 Johns, 3 each of George and James. It's weird that a guy named Jared was there.
HOLIDAY
(23) USC v Iowa
Thinking of how in 2002 Iowa had "Brad Banks" yet in 2008 the whole country had "bad banks."
CHEEZ-IT
(1) Washington St. v Air Force
Washington St. throws the ball so much it is they who should be called Air Force. Copyright Tha Captain.
COTTON
(35) Penn St. v Memphis
A guy named Jared signed the Constitution. Still weird.
CAMPING WORLD
(33) Notre Dame v Iowa St.
Man, f*ck camping.
PEACH
(30) LSU v Oklahoma
I am not really 30 confident but the line is so large I had to inflate the number a little bit.
FIESTA
(3) Clemson v Ohio St.
Has anybody said that the cfb playoffs are like taco bell menu items where it's the same 6 or 7 ingredients combined 4 at a time in different formats and also most of the ingredients came from the toilet
1ST RESPONDER
(18) WKU v WMU
wtf
REDBOX
(19) Cal v Illinois
Illinois ruined their uniforms and I will never forgive them.
MUSIC CITY
(15) Louisville v Mississippi St.
Petrinoball.
ORANGE
(36) Florida v Virginia
"Hello, it's me Jared and I'm here to sign the Constitution." Messed up.
BELK
(25) Va Tech v Kentucky
Gotta think that Budsworth "Bud" Foster can figure out how to stop a team literally without a quarterback in literally his last game as a coach.
SUN
(7) Florida St. v Arizona St.
They should also have a moon bowl and play it at night.
LIBERTY
(6) Kansas St. v Navy
Thinking of course of dear "Li-bear-ty" the very famous Beanie Baby.
ARIZONA
(21) Wyoming v Georgia St.
It's the kind of game that makes you think "foot ball."
ALAMO
(14) Texas v Utah
I don't have to explain this to you or to anybody else. I will not be held responsible for it.
CITRUS
(38) Alabama v Michigan
Making a "rage face" thinking about this game.
OUTBACK
(9) Minnesota v Auburn
Cheering for whichever team is "Team Bloomin' Onion" because putting coconut on it is a petty and insensitive thing to do to a shrimp.
ROSE
(26) Wisconsin v Oregon
What a clash of styles. Wisconsin wears red whereas Oregon wears green.
SUGAR
(34) Georgia v Baylor
See above.
BIRMINGHAM
(20) Cincinnati v Boston College
Don't forget to check out the McWane Center, boys!
GATOR
(24) Tennessee v Indiana
Always Bet On Orange
POTATO
(13) Nevada v Ohio
Imagine how different our lives would be if we had sat on the Ohio side instead of the App. St. side. Imagine how different their little wooden sign would be.
ARMED FORCES
(2) Tulane v Southern Mist
What does the Venn Diagram of "Armed Forces" and "Military" look like?
MOBILE
(37) UL-Lafayette v Miami (OH)
I regret to inform you that we have to wait until January 6th to see UL-Lafayette play Miami of Ohio in Mobile, Alabama.
BAHAMAS
(5) Buffalo v UNC-Charlotte
Turner Gill finally got the Bulls turned around.
FRISCO
(28) Utah St. v Kent St.
How often is it the case that all of Auburn's 1A non-con opponents make bowl games? It didn't happen the previous two years and that's as far back as the ncaa's records go.
NEW MEXICO
(17) San Diego St. v Central Michigan
A duel of relatively uncontroversial native american mascots. boring.
CURE
(29) Georgia Southern v Liberty
Ah good another chance for me to mention "Li-Bear-ty" the Beanie Baby.
BOCA RATON
(8) FAU v SMU
idk
CAMELLIA
(10) Arkansas St. v FIU
Ah yes it's "those teams are definitely in the same conference in my brain" time of year
LAS VEGAS
(16) Boise St. v Washington
Spin the wheel, roll the dice... and let the chips fall where they may.
NEW ORLEANS
(39) Appalachian St. v UAB
That guy with the wooden App St. sign. Do you think he made it or do you think he found it in the toilet?
GASPARILLA
(32) UCF v Marshall
It should be easy to think of something to say about a football game but it sometimes it isn't.
HAWAII
(4) Hawaii v BYU
Look out! It's the Hawaii Bowl!
INDEPENDENCE
(22) Miami (Fl) v La Tech
Remember when the ACC expanded and everybody (me) thought that the ACCCGpbDr.P would be Florida St. vs Miami every year and then that hasn't even happened once? Both teams have played in the Independence Bowl more times than they've played each other for the ACC title.
QUICK LANE
(31) Pitt v EMU
There was a comic book guy named "Pitt." From wikipedia: "Pitt is a human/alien hybrid, created by an alien race known as the Creed, genetically engineered to serve as a killing machine. He appears more alien than human, with red pupil-less eyes, gray skin, absence of a nose, sharp oversized teeth and large talons." There's no punchline here, I'm not going to say something like "oh i'm sorry that was the wikipedia article on MY MOTHER IN LAW" or something like that. I'm also not going to say anything about how EMU is the word Emu. Let's just move on.
MILITARY
(12) Temple v North Carolina
Temple is so named because it was started in the basement of a Baptist temple. That's so stupid. The first classes were tutoring sessions for working-class citizens and were taught late at night. This is why their mascot is the Owl. That's less stupid i guess but it's not cool. gtfoh temple.
PINSTRIPE
(27) Michigan St. v Wake Forest
"Wow, Michigan St vs Wake Forest," he said, failing miserably to feign any interest.
TEXAS
(11) Oklahoma St. v TAMU
Let's circle this back to the 39 white dudes who signed the Constitution. 5 Williams, 4 Johns, 3 each of George and James. It's weird that a guy named Jared was there.
HOLIDAY
(23) USC v Iowa
Thinking of how in 2002 Iowa had "Brad Banks" yet in 2008 the whole country had "bad banks."
CHEEZ-IT
(1) Washington St. v Air Force
Washington St. throws the ball so much it is they who should be called Air Force. Copyright Tha Captain.
COTTON
(35) Penn St. v Memphis
A guy named Jared signed the Constitution. Still weird.
CAMPING WORLD
(33) Notre Dame v Iowa St.
Man, f*ck camping.
PEACH
(30) LSU v Oklahoma
I am not really 30 confident but the line is so large I had to inflate the number a little bit.
FIESTA
(3) Clemson v Ohio St.
Has anybody said that the cfb playoffs are like taco bell menu items where it's the same 6 or 7 ingredients combined 4 at a time in different formats and also most of the ingredients came from the toilet
1ST RESPONDER
(18) WKU v WMU
wtf
REDBOX
(19) Cal v Illinois
Illinois ruined their uniforms and I will never forgive them.
MUSIC CITY
(15) Louisville v Mississippi St.
Petrinoball.
ORANGE
(36) Florida v Virginia
"Hello, it's me Jared and I'm here to sign the Constitution." Messed up.
BELK
(25) Va Tech v Kentucky
Gotta think that Budsworth "Bud" Foster can figure out how to stop a team literally without a quarterback in literally his last game as a coach.
SUN
(7) Florida St. v Arizona St.
They should also have a moon bowl and play it at night.
LIBERTY
(6) Kansas St. v Navy
Thinking of course of dear "Li-bear-ty" the very famous Beanie Baby.
ARIZONA
(21) Wyoming v Georgia St.
It's the kind of game that makes you think "foot ball."
ALAMO
(14) Texas v Utah
I don't have to explain this to you or to anybody else. I will not be held responsible for it.
CITRUS
(38) Alabama v Michigan
Making a "rage face" thinking about this game.
OUTBACK
(9) Minnesota v Auburn
Cheering for whichever team is "Team Bloomin' Onion" because putting coconut on it is a petty and insensitive thing to do to a shrimp.
ROSE
(26) Wisconsin v Oregon
What a clash of styles. Wisconsin wears red whereas Oregon wears green.
SUGAR
(34) Georgia v Baylor
See above.
BIRMINGHAM
(20) Cincinnati v Boston College
Don't forget to check out the McWane Center, boys!
GATOR
(24) Tennessee v Indiana
Always Bet On Orange
POTATO
(13) Nevada v Ohio
Imagine how different our lives would be if we had sat on the Ohio side instead of the App. St. side. Imagine how different their little wooden sign would be.
ARMED FORCES
(2) Tulane v Southern Mist
What does the Venn Diagram of "Armed Forces" and "Military" look like?
MOBILE
(37) UL-Lafayette v Miami (OH)
I regret to inform you that we have to wait until January 6th to see UL-Lafayette play Miami of Ohio in Mobile, Alabama.
Good bowl picks to all, and to all a good bowl picks
Gasparilla: UCF vs Marshall
My pick: I GOT IT ALL ON UCF 39
Partly this is Trusting the Bookies, but the play on the UHF lyrics is important here.
New Orleans: Appalachian St. vs UAB
My pick: APP STATE 38
Though we love them, UAB is not a good football team, and the bookies say this one’s a sure thing.
Potato: Ohio vs Nevada
My pick: OHIO 37
It seems like Nevada is very bad!
Orange: Florida vs Virginia
My pick: FLO RIDA 36
Virginia sucks!
Birmingham: Boston College vs Cincinnati
My pick: CINCY 35
BC sucks!
Independence: La Tech vs Miami (FL)
My pick: MIAMI 34
La Tech has not played anybody.
Outback: Minnesota vs Auburn
My pick: AUBURN 33
I became certain about this one when Derrick Brown said he was going to play. He’s a big name guy, and if he’s here for it, everyone will be.
Quick Lane: Pitt vs Eastern Michigan
My pick: PITTTTTTT 32
Hard not to get excited about these two alma maters of Pitt legend Dan Mariner.
Citrus: Michigan vs Alabama
My pick: alabama 31
Come on, man.
Mobile: UL-Lafayette vs Miami (OH)
My pick: ULLAF 30
UL-Lafayette is a big favorite in this one, but dang if I can figure out why. Apparently ULL is good? I assumed this was the Dollar General Bowl and tried to look up betting information under that name. It isn’t!
Frisco: Utah St. vs Kent St.
My pick: UTAH STATE 29
Kent State sucks!
Armed Forces: Southern Miss vs Tulane
My pick: TWO LANE 28
Hard not to get excited about this match-up of former (wait, is that right? they’re not in the same conference? oh, that’s right, they all moved around when those teams went up. huh) conference foes.
Sugar: Georgia vs Baylor
My pick: THUGA 27
Surely Georgia will not be overlooking an underdog from Texas after a disappointing SEC title loss, given, you know, the cool things that happened last year.
Peach: Oklahoma vs LSU
My pick: LSU 26
Oklahoma is pretty good, but LSU is better.
Alamo: Utah vs Texas
My pick: UTAH 25
Tough pick! On paper, Utah is a lot better, but then Texas is very talented with a big-game coach, but then both teams had very disappointing seasons and can’t be excited to be here. So, I don’t know. When everything is in doubt, Utah is a lot better. I don’t think Herman is a great game-to-game coach, though he is still relatively young I guess as head coaches go.
Music City: Mississippi St. vs Louisville
My pick: MISSISSISSISSISSIPPI STATE 24
Mississippi State’s not, you know, great, but I don’t think Louisville ended the season well.
Camellia: Florida International vs Arkansas St.
My pick: ARKANSAS STATE 23
This is where this game ended up in my list.
Hawaii: Hawaii vs BYU
My pick: BYU 22
Hard not to get excited about this match-up of states that shouldn’t be in the USA.
Camping World: Notre Dame vs Iowa St.
My pick: NOTRE DAME 21
Notre Dame seems pretty good.
Redbox: California vs Illinois
My pick: CAL 20
Two bad teams.
Bahamas: Buffalo vs UNC-Charlotte
My pick: BUFFALO 19
I am already forgetting why I picked this, and I looked it up! Probably something about statistics.
Cure: Liberty vs Georgia Southern
My pick: GEORGIA SOUTHERN 18
How much of this line is Liberty being Liberty?
New Mexico: Central Michigan vs San Diego St.
My pick: SAN DIEGO STATE 17
Central Michigan has looked extremely mediocre against decent defenses.
Belk: Virginia Tech vs Kentucky
My pick: KENTUCKY 16
I’m kind of surprised this didn’t up higher.
Texas: Oklahoma St. vs TAMU
My pick: TAMU 15
Hard not to get excited about this game between mediocre teams I’d probably dislike more if there weren’t dislikable programs constantly around them.
Holiday: USC vs Iowa
My pick: IOWA 14
They’re gonna fire that guy at USC, and they haven’t yet because it would cost too much.
Arizona: Wyoming vs Georgia St.
My pick: WYOMING 13
Georgia: Arizona vs Wyoming St. Wyoming: Georgia vs Arizona St.
Pinstripe: Michigan St. vs Wake Forest
My pick: MICHIGAN STATE 12
I don’t like either of these teams!
Las Vegas: Boise St. vs Washington
My pick: WASHINGTON 11
This seems like a weird game to pick, with the outgoing coach and all. I think Washington will want to send their beloved coach off with a win, and he will be taking the game seriously.
Sun: Florida St. vs Arizona St.
My pick: ARIZONA STATE 10
Hard not to get excited about this gridiron contest between two teams.
Cheez-It: Air Force vs Washington St.
My pick: AIR FORCE 9
This should be a fun one. The Cheez-It Bowl! How humiliating for America’s armed forces.
Cotton: Memphis vs Penn St.
My pick: PENN STATE 8
Penn State is better, but not that much better. Memphis will be all hopped up for their new coach; will Penn State be excited?
Rose: Oregon vs Wisconsin
My pick: OREGON 7
How much of this pick is that I don’t like Wisconsin, even though I think they’re the better team? A lot!
Gator: Indiana vs Tennessee
My pick: TENNESSEE 6
Remember that guy stepping on the Vanderbilt punter’s face? Cool.
Military: North Carolina vs Temple
My pick: NORTH CAROLINA 5
Seems like UNC is getting a lot of credit for not beating Clemson.
First Responder: Western Kentucky vs Western Michigan
My pick: WESTERN KENTUCKY 4
Western!
Fiesta: Clemson vs Ohio St.
My pick: OHIO STATE 3
This looks like a good game!
Boca Raton: SMU vs Florida Atlantic
My pick: SMU 2
Coaches leaving etc makes me uncertain about this one.
Liberty: Navy vs Kansas St.
My pick: KANSAS STATE 1
???
Monday, December 09, 2019
3E BOWL PICK THEM HISTORY: PAY ATTENTION YOU MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING
CHECK IT OUT
CONFIDENCE THING
2016: You - 508/820, 62.0%
Me - 569/820, 69.4%
2017: You - 482/780, 61.8%
Me - 481/780, 61.7%
2018: You - 416/749, 55.5%
Me - 434/756, 57.4%
CONFIDENCE THING
2016: You - 508/820, 62.0%
Me - 569/820, 69.4%
2017: You - 482/780, 61.8%
Me - 481/780, 61.7%
2018: You - 416/749, 55.5%
Me - 434/756, 57.4%
3E BOWL PICK THEM 2019: SORRY, TOLEDO
Read 'em and weep. Let's get 'em in by December 18th at the stroke of 5 pm. Ain't nuthin' wrong with that.
Friday, December 20th
Friday, December 20th
- Bahamas: Buffalo vs UNC-Charlotte
- Frisco: Utah St. vs Kent St.
- New Mexico: Central Michigan vs San Diego St.
- Cure: Liberty vs Georgia Southern
- Boca Raton: SMU vs Florida Atlantic
- Camellia: Florida International vs Arkansas St.
- Las Vegas: Boise St. vs Washington
- New Orleans: Appalachian St. vs UAB
- Gasparilla: UCF vs Marshall
- Hawaii: Hawaii vs BYU
- Independence: La Tech vs Miami (FL)
- Quick Lane: Pitt vs Eastern Michigan
- Military: North Carolina vs Temple
- Pinstripe: Michigan St. vs Wake Forest
- Texas: Oklahoma St. vs TAMU
- Holiday: USC vs Iowa
- Cheez-It: Air Force vs Washington St.
- Camping World: Notre Dame vs Iowa St.
- Cotton: Memphis vs Penn St.
- Peach: Oklahoma vs LSU
- Fiesta: Clemson vs Ohio St.
- First Responder: Western Kentucky vs Western Michigan
- Redbox: California vs Illinois
- Music City: Mississippi St. vs Louisville
- Orange: Florida vs Virginia
- Belk: Virginia Tech vs Kentucky
- Sun: Florida St. vs Arizona St.
- Liberty: Navy vs Kansas St.
- Arizona: Wyoming vs Georgia St.
- Alamo: Utah vs Texas
- Citrus: Michigan vs Alabama
- Outback: Minnesota vs Auburn
- Rose: Oregon vs Wisconsin
- Sugar: Georgia vs Baylor
- Birmingham: Boston College vs Cincinnati
- Gator: Indiana vs Tennessee
- Potato: Ohio vs Nevada
- Armed Forces: Southern Miss vs Tulane
- Mobile: UL-Lafayette vs Miami (OH)
Sunday, December 08, 2019
Thursday, December 05, 2019
extremely good tiebreaking picks
LSU -7.5: You know what I think.
Regular Tie Breaker:
First team to punt from the opponent's territory: UGA
First team to call a fair catch on a punt or kickoff: LSU
First team to concede a first down by penalty: LSU
First team to have a non-zero, even number of points at the time of a kickoff or free kick (so having 6 points after a td but before a made xp would not count): LSU
Number of combined punts in the first quarter: 1
Number of combined turnovers in the first half: 1
Combined points scored on kicks (fgs, xps) in the first 20 minutes of game time: 6
The Ultra-Tiebreaker: UGA 13 LSU 21
Regular Tie Breaker:
First team to punt from the opponent's territory: UGA
First team to call a fair catch on a punt or kickoff: LSU
First team to concede a first down by penalty: LSU
First team to have a non-zero, even number of points at the time of a kickoff or free kick (so having 6 points after a td but before a made xp would not count): LSU
Number of combined punts in the first quarter: 1
Number of combined turnovers in the first half: 1
Combined points scored on kicks (fgs, xps) in the first 20 minutes of game time: 6
The Ultra-Tiebreaker: UGA 13 LSU 21
I think we are going to disagree on the pick so the Byzantine contingency bets won't matter
What a ride!
Georgia +7.5
Georgia +7.5
- First team to punt from the opponent's territory: UGA
- First team to call a fair catch on a punt or kickoff: YOU WOULD THINK THAT THIS WOULD BE CLOSELY TIED TO #1 BUT I AM A WILD MAN UGA
- First team to concede a first down by penalty: LSU
- First team to have a non-zero, even number of points at the time of a kickoff or free kick (so having 6 points after a td but before a made xp would not count): LSU
- Number of combined punts in the first quarter: 2
- Number of combined turnovers in the first half: 1
- Combined points scored on kicks (fgs, xps) in the first 20 minutes of game time: 6
Tuesday, December 03, 2019
breakin the tie / breakin the tie (like breakin the law)
As my infant son would say: "wow"
Shaun Shivers: 5-4 (50-44-3)
The Alabama Guy's Helmet: 6-3 (50-44-3)
As I posited, if we disagree on the pick ATS, then that's it. That's the whole enchilada.
Georgia vs LSU -7.5
However, in the event of disagreement, the 2019 SEC Pick Off shall be won by he whom picks the most of the following in a manner of correctness:
$$$ The Nice Bookie Has Crowned His Prince $$$
The Wise Pauper: $1,698.00
The Moneyed Fool: $1,768.53
We should really gamble, obviously.
Shaun Shivers: 5-4 (50-44-3)
The Alabama Guy's Helmet: 6-3 (50-44-3)
As I posited, if we disagree on the pick ATS, then that's it. That's the whole enchilada.
Georgia vs LSU -7.5
However, in the event of disagreement, the 2019 SEC Pick Off shall be won by he whom picks the most of the following in a manner of correctness:
- First team to punt from the opponent's territory
- First team to call a fair catch on a punt or kickoff
- First team to concede a first down by penalty
- First team to have a non-zero, even number of points at the time of a kickoff or free kick (so having 6 points after a td but before a made xp would not count)
- Number of combined punts in the first quarter
- Number of combined turnovers in the first half
- Combined points scored on kicks (fgs, xps) in the first 20 minutes of game time
- Predicted score at halftime. Winner will be the lowest average of the following:
- Difference between LSU predicted points and LSU actual points
- Difference between UGA predicted points and UGA actual points
- Difference between predicted margin and actual margin
- Difference between LSU predicted points and LSU actual points: 69-21=48
- Difference between UGA predicted points and UGA actual points: 69-14=55
- Difference between predicted margin and actual margin: 7-0=7
- Average: 48+55+7=36.67
$$$ The Nice Bookie Has Crowned His Prince $$$
The Wise Pauper: $1,698.00
The Moneyed Fool: $1,768.53
We should really gamble, obviously.
Thursday, November 28, 2019
when its gotta be rivalries, its gotta be week fourteen picks baby
Humbly hoping to win three games this week as well!
Old Mist +2.5 The EggBowl®️ is traditionally a torpedoing of whichever team has the slightly less modest aspirations.
Mizzou -11.5 I don't think anybody involved wants to play this game.
Georgia -28 This is what college football is all about.
Kentucky -3 This is just more of what college football is all about.
Clemson -26.5 If you want to know what college football is all about, look no further!
Alabama -4 The IronBowl®️ is traditionally a time of great weeping.
Tennessee -21.5 ABoO®️. Feels like this is the least I can do for Jeremy and the boys after they won $582.19 in delicious, fake moolah for me this season.
LSU -17 LSU seems focused? I don't know.
Florida -17 Dang ol' favorites really appealing to me apparently.
$$$ NiceBookie®️ $$$
$1,953.55 in my stash. Time to splash the cash! And do the mooonster mash lol. An astute reader will notice that both win/lose scenarios result in the same bankroll ($1,768.53). This is because I consider Georgia Tech winning and Auburn winning to be equally likely events.
Old Mist +2.5 The EggBowl®️ is traditionally a torpedoing of whichever team has the slightly less modest aspirations.
Mizzou -11.5 I don't think anybody involved wants to play this game.
Georgia -28 This is what college football is all about.
Kentucky -3 This is just more of what college football is all about.
Clemson -26.5 If you want to know what college football is all about, look no further!
Alabama -4 The IronBowl®️ is traditionally a time of great weeping.
Tennessee -21.5 ABoO®️. Feels like this is the least I can do for Jeremy and the boys after they won $582.19 in delicious, fake moolah for me this season.
LSU -17 LSU seems focused? I don't know.
Florida -17 Dang ol' favorites really appealing to me apparently.
$$$ NiceBookie®️ $$$
$1,953.55 in my stash. Time to splash the cash! And do the mooonster mash lol. An astute reader will notice that both win/lose scenarios result in the same bankroll ($1,768.53). This is because I consider Georgia Tech winning and Auburn winning to be equally likely events.
- $297.38 on DawgsWoofWoof at -4961. Wins $5.99.
- $191.01 on TideSplishSplosh at -170. Wins $112.36.
quick picks
Traveling soon, so these are the least thought-through picks of the year. That means I should do better than usual!
Mississippi State (-2.5)
Missouri (-11.5) The worst team in the conference is the cure for what ails Missouri
Georgia (-28)
Kentucky (-3)
South Carolina (+26.5)
Auburn (+4) I INEXPLICABLY STILL BELIEVE
Tennessee (-21.5)
LSU (-17)
Florida (-17)
$$$$$$$$$
$1610
Give me $1,500 on Clemson at -5000 to win $30.
Give me $40 on Auburn at +145 to win $58.
Mississippi State (-2.5)
Missouri (-11.5) The worst team in the conference is the cure for what ails Missouri
Georgia (-28)
Kentucky (-3)
South Carolina (+26.5)
Auburn (+4) I INEXPLICABLY STILL BELIEVE
Tennessee (-21.5)
LSU (-17)
Florida (-17)
$$$$$$$$$
$1610
Give me $1,500 on Clemson at -5000 to win $30.
Give me $40 on Auburn at +145 to win $58.
Tuesday, November 26, 2019
Ribaldry Week
A Rival for Hercules Himself: 3-0 (44-41-3)
A Rival with Hurting Knees Who Smells: 1-2 (45-40-3)
Old Mist at Mississippi State (-2.5) (Thoisdee)
Missouri (-11.5) at Arkansas (Frydee)
Georgia (-28) at Georgia Tech
Louisville at Kentucky (-3)
Clemson (26.5) at South Carolina
Alabama (-4) at Auburn
Vanderbilt at Tennessee (-21.5)
TAMU at LSU (-17)
Florida State at Florida (-17)
$$$$$$$$$
Rich Man: $1953.55
Comfortable Man: $1610
We are so good at gambling.
A Rival with Hurting Knees Who Smells: 1-2 (45-40-3)
Old Mist at Mississippi State (-2.5) (Thoisdee)
Missouri (-11.5) at Arkansas (Frydee)
Georgia (-28) at Georgia Tech
Louisville at Kentucky (-3)
Clemson (26.5) at South Carolina
Alabama (-4) at Auburn
Vanderbilt at Tennessee (-21.5)
TAMU at LSU (-17)
Florida State at Florida (-17)
$$$$$$$$$
Rich Man: $1953.55
Comfortable Man: $1610
Thursday, November 21, 2019
We need picks. Lots of picks.
I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of picks. You're afraid of bowls. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how about The Nice Bookie. I'm going to schedule these picks, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules or controls, borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is going to be a Bowl Pick Them.
Georgia (-13): The Matrix, a surprise hit thanks to its glorification of violence and for being what stupid people think smart movies sound like.
Arkansas (+43.5): The Matrix Reloaded, a confusing and even stupider follow-up that completely misses the already-overhyped charm of its predecessors while leaving too many questions still unanswered.
Mizzou (-4.5): The Matrix Revolutions, an unnecessary and disappointing conclusion.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
MEANWHILE IN ZION
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
With $1510 to bet, I face a gruesome set of choices.
Gimme $475 on Georgia to beat TAMU, to win $100.
Arkansas (+43.5): The Matrix Reloaded, a confusing and even stupider follow-up that completely misses the already-overhyped charm of its predecessors while leaving too many questions still unanswered.
Mizzou (-4.5): The Matrix Revolutions, an unnecessary and disappointing conclusion.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
MEANWHILE IN ZION
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
With $1510 to bet, I face a gruesome set of choices.
Gimme $475 on Georgia to beat TAMU, to win $100.
*screeching* WEEK THIRTEEN PICKS
WOOF WOOF DOG POUND BABY
TAMU +13
ARKANSAS +43.5
TENNESSEE +4.5
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT ETC
$$$
$1,750.00 is more money than i'll ever have in my whole life. That's why i'm so careful/cautious.
TAMU +13
ARKANSAS +43.5
TENNESSEE +4.5
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT ETC
$$$
$1,750.00 is more money than i'll ever have in my whole life. That's why i'm so careful/cautious.
- $1,657.80 on LSWhom at -3928(?). Wins $42.20.
- $92.20 on Tennessee (ABoO (Always Bet on Orange)) at +175. Wins $161.35.
Tuesday, November 19, 2019
Week Thirteen: Slim Pickins
Last Week:
TAMU @ Georgia (-13)
Arkansas @ LSU (-43.5)
Tennessee @ Mizzou (-4.5)
$$$ Bookie McNice $$$
- The Aesthetic Choice: 4-1-1 (44-38-3)
- The Functional Consequence: 4-1-1 (41-41-3)
TAMU @ Georgia (-13)
Arkansas @ LSU (-43.5)
Tennessee @ Mizzou (-4.5)
$$$ Bookie McNice $$$
- Honor, Courage, Integrity: $1,510.00
- The Opposites of the Three Qualities Above: $1,750.00
Friday, November 15, 2019
I stroke it to the east
Let me ask you something
How long has it been since you made love, huh?
Did you make love yesterday?
Did you make love last week?
Did you make love last year?
Or maybe it might be that you plannin' on makin' love tonight?
Thursday, November 14, 2019
I should have done a Stranger Things joke last week since I've seen it now
Alabama (-21) I thought both Morehood and Morris were great hires. I'm a dodo!
Florida (-7) Never forgive Missouri for joining this conference.
Auburn (+3) I BELIEVE, STILL
Kentucky (-8.5) that's a game alright
LSU (-21) Lots of road favorites today.
Texas A&M (-10) Here's a home favorite!
I'm sure it's fine that the only underdog I picked was Auburn. Sure, great.
$$$$$$$$$
Got me $1470. Going to spread the luv here.
I'm betting $200 on Alabama to beat Mississippi State, to win $20.
I'm betting $100 on Auburn to beat Georgia, to win $120.
I'm betting $40 on Kentucky to beat Vanderbilt, to win $10.
I'm betting $150 on LSU to beat Ole Miss, to win $10.
I'm betting $110 on TAMU to cover 10 points against South Carolina, to win $100.
Florida (-7) Never forgive Missouri for joining this conference.
Auburn (+3) I BELIEVE, STILL
Kentucky (-8.5) that's a game alright
LSU (-21) Lots of road favorites today.
Texas A&M (-10) Here's a home favorite!
I'm sure it's fine that the only underdog I picked was Auburn. Sure, great.
$$$$$$$$$
Got me $1470. Going to spread the luv here.
I'm betting $200 on Alabama to beat Mississippi State, to win $20.
I'm betting $100 on Auburn to beat Georgia, to win $120.
I'm betting $40 on Kentucky to beat Vanderbilt, to win $10.
I'm betting $150 on LSU to beat Ole Miss, to win $10.
I'm betting $110 on TAMU to cover 10 points against South Carolina, to win $100.
this is a placeholder title so my picks don't show up! NOT CHANGING IT (WEEK 12 PICKS)
Last week my betting was "T3H SUXORS." This week I'm aiming for worse.
Mississippi St. +21 The line is like 17 now, so I've got to do this, right? Even though Mississippi State is "T3H SUXORS."
Florida -7 Florida does really well in cold weather I bet.
Georgia -3 Easy money.
Kentucky -8.5 The line is like 10.5 now, so I've got to do this, right? Even though both of these teams are "T3H SUXORS" and I have no idea how to bet on things.
Old Mist +21 No.
TAMU -10 I don't remember anything TAMU has done since the Auburn game. Or the Alabama game. I don't even remember which one was first. What are birds?
$$$ NOS Bookie $$$
They're having a fire sale on Alabama and baby I am here for it. Going to sling my entire wad ($1,615.78) this week.
Mississippi St. +21 The line is like 17 now, so I've got to do this, right? Even though Mississippi State is "T3H SUXORS."
Florida -7 Florida does really well in cold weather I bet.
Georgia -3 Easy money.
Kentucky -8.5 The line is like 10.5 now, so I've got to do this, right? Even though both of these teams are "T3H SUXORS" and I have no idea how to bet on things.
Old Mist +21 No.
TAMU -10 I don't remember anything TAMU has done since the Auburn game. Or the Alabama game. I don't even remember which one was first. What are birds?
$$$ NOS Bookie $$$
They're having a fire sale on Alabama and baby I am here for it. Going to sling my entire wad ($1,615.78) this week.
- $1,590.91 on Alabama to get 'r done Tua or no at -1000. Wins $159.09.
- $24.87 on South Carolina (nobody circles the wagons like Muschamp) to get 'r done at +400. Wins $99.48.
Tuesday, November 12, 2019
Week 12
Art: 1-6 (37-40-2)
Carbuncle: 5-2 (40-37-2)
games, games, games
Alabama (-21) st Mississippi State
Florida (-7) at Missouri
Georgia (-3) at Auburn
Kentucky (-8.5) at Vanderbilt
LSU (-21) at Old Mist
South Carolina at Texas A&M (-10)
$$$$$$$$$
a tricky ploy: $1615.78
a sticky boy: $1470
Carbuncle: 5-2 (40-37-2)
games, games, games
Alabama (-21) st Mississippi State
Florida (-7) at Missouri
Georgia (-3) at Auburn
Kentucky (-8.5) at Vanderbilt
LSU (-21) at Old Mist
South Carolina at Texas A&M (-10)
$$$$$$$$$
a tricky ploy: $1615.78
a sticky boy: $1470
Saturday, November 09, 2019
Thursday, November 07, 2019
Weak Wet Elven
Florida (-26) Less that I am confident about Florida than that I am not confident about Wandy.
Western Kentucky (+2.5) lmao
Alabama (-6) I'm ready to be hurt
Old Mist (-28.5) seems like a big line, but New Mexico State is so bad. There are several teams that I think should drop down a level and become more competitive, and New Mexico State is right at the top of that list.
Mizzou (+17) toughest pick of the week
Appalachian St. (+5) I love underdogs!
Tennessee (-1) sure
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$BOOKIE, DANNO$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Playing with $1315, not seeing a lot of value this week.
Betting $55 to win $50 on New Mexico St vs Ole Miss going under 64 points.
Betting $400 to win $10 that Florida will beat Vanderbilt.
Betting $50 to win $95 that Appalachian State beats South Carolina.
Western Kentucky (+2.5) lmao
Alabama (-6) I'm ready to be hurt
Old Mist (-28.5) seems like a big line, but New Mexico State is so bad. There are several teams that I think should drop down a level and become more competitive, and New Mexico State is right at the top of that list.
Mizzou (+17) toughest pick of the week
Appalachian St. (+5) I love underdogs!
Tennessee (-1) sure
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$BOOKIE, DANNO$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Playing with $1315, not seeing a lot of value this week.
Betting $55 to win $50 on New Mexico St vs Ole Miss going under 64 points.
Betting $400 to win $10 that Florida will beat Vanderbilt.
Betting $50 to win $95 that Appalachian State beats South Carolina.
Week Eleven: Wherein Things Get Wet N Wild
Surf's up, fellas! Let's talk deli meats!!!
Vanderbilt +26 Turkey - Ooooh baby, gimme that sweet gobbler!
Arkansas -2.5 Roast Beef - Mamma Mia, gimma that spicy roast-a beef-a!
Alabama -6 Ham - Oi, Vey! Gimma that on a bagel widda smyeeaah!
NM St. +28.5 Chicken - Ack, I gotta have my bird!
Mizzou +17 Salami - Ah sooo! Me rikey! *gong crash*
South Carolina -5 That's all the deli meats.
Tennessee -1 Always bet on orange.
$$$ The EXTREMELY Nice Bookie, like way too nice $$$
This maneuver is known as "The Stevedore's Gambit." It is also known as "Cheating."
Vanderbilt +26 Turkey - Ooooh baby, gimme that sweet gobbler!
Arkansas -2.5 Roast Beef - Mamma Mia, gimma that spicy roast-a beef-a!
Alabama -6 Ham - Oi, Vey! Gimma that on a bagel widda smyeeaah!
NM St. +28.5 Chicken - Ack, I gotta have my bird!
Mizzou +17 Salami - Ah sooo! Me rikey! *gong crash*
South Carolina -5 That's all the deli meats.
Tennessee -1 Always bet on orange.
$$$ The EXTREMELY Nice Bookie, like way too nice $$$
This maneuver is known as "The Stevedore's Gambit." It is also known as "Cheating."
- At one sportsbook, give me $1,102.83 on The Tahd straight up at -215. This pays $512.94.
- At another book, give me $497.16 on LSWho straight up at +225. This pays $1,118.61.
Wednesday, November 06, 2019
Tuesday, November 05, 2019
Week Buhleven
Taking a break from decorating for Veteran's Day in order to make this post.
$$$ ok bookie (like ok boomer (topical)) $$$
- Charles the Bold: 3-3 (35-35-2)
- Captain Doofus: 2-4 (36-34-2)
- Vanderbilt @ Florida (-26)
- Western Kentucky @ Arkansas (-2.5) teehee
- LSU @ Alabama (-6)
- New Mexico St. @ Old Mist (-28.5)
- Mizzou @ Georgia (-17)
- Appalachian St. @ South Carolina (-5)
- Tennessee (-1) @ Kentucky
$$$ ok bookie (like ok boomer (topical)) $$$
- Ice Cold Killa: $1,315.00
- Warm, Fuzzy Doofus: $1,600.00
Saturday, November 02, 2019
Thursday, October 31, 2019
Please Enjoy My WTP (Week Ten Picks)
UTSA +38 Seriously, what on earth does a man of stable disposition and upstanding character do with a line like this?
Florida +6.5 It's called the cocktail party because the trophy is 7 seven shrimp.
Arkansas +7.5 Time to Hog Up.
Tennessee -11.5 Always bet on orange.
Auburn -18.5 I can't believe I picked that yesterday. Can't change it now though.
Vanderbilt +15 Did a lot of research on this.
$$$ Bookums $$$
$1,766.03 moolah to splash. Time for a very grindy "Tha Captainz Special."
Florida +6.5 It's called the cocktail party because the trophy is 7 seven shrimp.
Arkansas +7.5 Time to Hog Up.
Tennessee -11.5 Always bet on orange.
Auburn -18.5 I can't believe I picked that yesterday. Can't change it now though.
Vanderbilt +15 Did a lot of research on this.
$$$ Bookums $$$
$1,766.03 moolah to splash. Time for a very grindy "Tha Captainz Special."
- $274.87 on Jimbo N Tha Boyz straight up at -45000. This will pay me a handsome sum of $0.61.
- $166.64 on Arkansas N Tha Boyz to finally win an SEC game at +250. This far-fetched fantasy would pay me $416.60.
we(t)e(n)k
I'm expecting to be at the Auburn game this weekend, so I probably won't see how many of these I get wrong.
TAMU (-38): sure
Georgia (-6.5): >:(
Mississippi State (-7.5): Mississippi State is bad but Arkansas is terrible.
UAB (+11.5): blayzuhs!
Auburn (-18.5): Auburn is good against the spread, and Gus has the m.o. of smashing the bad teams.
South Carolina (-15): sure
$$$$$$$$$$$
Working with $1264.
Gimme $400 on TAMU beating UTSA to win $1
Gimme $550 on Auburn to win $50
TAMU (-38): sure
Georgia (-6.5): >:(
Mississippi State (-7.5): Mississippi State is bad but Arkansas is terrible.
UAB (+11.5): blayzuhs!
Auburn (-18.5): Auburn is good against the spread, and Gus has the m.o. of smashing the bad teams.
South Carolina (-15): sure
$$$$$$$$$$$
Working with $1264.
Gimme $400 on TAMU beating UTSA to win $1
Gimme $550 on Auburn to win $50
Tuesday, October 29, 2019
Week (Rude) Teen
Big Dubs: 34-30-2
Little Cubs: 32-32-2
Lots of big lines this week.
UTSA at TAMU (-38)
Georgia (-6.5) at Florida
Mississippi State (-7.5) at Arkansas
UAB at Tennessee (-11.5)
Old Mist at Auburn (-18.5)
Vandy at South Carolina (-15)
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
A people's champion: $1766.03
A people's chimpion: $1264
Little Cubs: 32-32-2
Lots of big lines this week.
UTSA at TAMU (-38)
Georgia (-6.5) at Florida
Mississippi State (-7.5) at Arkansas
UAB at Tennessee (-11.5)
Old Mist at Auburn (-18.5)
Vandy at South Carolina (-15)
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
A people's champion: $1766.03
A people's chimpion: $1264
Monday, October 28, 2019
Thursday, October 24, 2019
Week of Nine
Mississippi St. +10.5: TAMU is going to cost me this one.
LSU -10.5: LSU is going to tear Auburn to pieces :(
South Carolina -4: lol
Alabama -32: Alabama will want to work out the kinks with a back-up quarterback against the worst team in the conference. Murder time.
Mizzou -10.5: I feel like Missouri is going to mess up because they've lost weird games on the road twice, but I also think the Vandy game made them mad (?).
$$$$$$$$
WHO'S A NICE BOOKIE? YOU ARE, YES YOU ARE!
$$$$$$$$
Spending $1,219.00. I don't see a lot of value, as the bookies say, in any of these lines or totals. The closest thing I can see is LSU covering against Auburn, but then I see it's supposed to be bad weather. So, let's go with The Cap'n Special.
I'll bet $900 on Alabama beating Arkansas, to win $15.
I'll bet $10 on Kentucky beating Missouri, to win $30.
LSU -10.5: LSU is going to tear Auburn to pieces :(
South Carolina -4: lol
Alabama -32: Alabama will want to work out the kinks with a back-up quarterback against the worst team in the conference. Murder time.
Mizzou -10.5: I feel like Missouri is going to mess up because they've lost weird games on the road twice, but I also think the Vandy game made them mad (?).
$$$$$$$$
WHO'S A NICE BOOKIE? YOU ARE, YES YOU ARE!
$$$$$$$$
Spending $1,219.00. I don't see a lot of value, as the bookies say, in any of these lines or totals. The closest thing I can see is LSU covering against Auburn, but then I see it's supposed to be bad weather. So, let's go with The Cap'n Special.
I'll bet $900 on Alabama beating Arkansas, to win $15.
I'll bet $10 on Kentucky beating Missouri, to win $30.
Hey man yall got any of those week 9 picks
Every one of these seemed obvious to me. That's probably a good sign.
Mississippi St. +10.5 Fimbo Jisher is a Star Wars®️ name.
LSU -10.5 Boe Jurrow vs No Bix.
Tennessee +4 Back on the Tennessee bandwagon.
Alabama -32 Auburn beat Arkansas by more than this and I have to think that Alabama's backup QBs are as good or better than Bo Nix. I have to think that.
Kentucky +10.5 Froger Kield, baby.
$$$ Bet's, Bet's, Bet's $$$
Mississippi St. +10.5 Fimbo Jisher is a Star Wars®️ name.
LSU -10.5 Boe Jurrow vs No Bix.
Tennessee +4 Back on the Tennessee bandwagon.
Alabama -32 Auburn beat Arkansas by more than this and I have to think that Alabama's backup QBs are as good or better than Bo Nix. I have to think that.
Kentucky +10.5 Froger Kield, baby.
$$$ Bet's, Bet's, Bet's $$$
- $595.24 on the nefarious Tide straight up at -12500 to win $4.76.
- $604.76 on the nefarious LSU straight up at -375 to win $161.27.
Tuesday, October 22, 2019
Week Nine... Feelin' Fine.
Last Week (overalls)
The Guy With The Things: 5-2 (31-28-2)
The Dude With the Stuff: 3-4 (31-28-2)
The theme of this week's games is you guessed it The Sinai Peninsula.
Mississippi St. @ TAMU -10.5 S is for Sinai, the peninsula we all know
Auburn @ LSU -10.5 I is for the Israelites, who never get no snow
South Carolina -4 @ Tennessee N is for the Nubians, as black as night can be
Arkansas @ Alabama -32 A is for Amenhotep, who said "it's all about me!"
Mizzou -10.5 @ Kentucky I is for It's the end of this list and the rhyme scheme was AABBB
$$$ DAMN THASSA NICE BOOKIE $$$
Normal Guy: $1,219.00
Guy Normal: $1,600.00
The Guy With The Things: 5-2 (31-28-2)
The Dude With the Stuff: 3-4 (31-28-2)
The theme of this week's games is you guessed it The Sinai Peninsula.
Mississippi St. @ TAMU -10.5 S is for Sinai, the peninsula we all know
Auburn @ LSU -10.5 I is for the Israelites, who never get no snow
South Carolina -4 @ Tennessee N is for the Nubians, as black as night can be
Arkansas @ Alabama -32 A is for Amenhotep, who said "it's all about me!"
Mizzou -10.5 @ Kentucky I is for It's the end of this list and the rhyme scheme was AABBB
$$$ DAMN THASSA NICE BOOKIE $$$
Normal Guy: $1,219.00
Guy Normal: $1,600.00
Saturday, October 19, 2019
Thursday, October 17, 2019
The Seven Deadly Picks
Week Eight Picks as which of the Seven Deadly Sins best fits my reaction to it. The first sin is if I only allow myself to use each sin one time. The parenthetical sin is me allowing re-use of sins.
Auburn (-18.5): Pride (Wrath). Obvious reasons, I think.
Florida (-6): Lust (Wrath). Did this one last.
LSU (-19): Envy (Wrath). LSU has a fantastic passing offense. Auburn used to have a good offense. I remember it, like a dream. This is a tough pick because LSU is really good and Mississippi State seems to be cratering, but it's also got "look ahead/let down" written all over it. Seems like the over is a good bet here.
Missouri (-21.5): Greed (Sloth). They're rich at Vanderbilt, and Missouri was greedy to join the SEC, where they don't have a good fit and gave up their traditional rivalries to make more TV money.
Georgia (-24.5): Sloth (Wrath). That's how Georgia looked last week, and that accurately captures my total inability to muster any concern about this game.
Texas A&M (-6) (Sloth): Gluttony. The Grove or whatever.
Tennessee (+34.5): Wrath (double Wrath). The most obvious reasons, I think. Of course, Auburn beating Alabama is what's most important, but Alabama fans get such pleasure from their streak against Tennessee that I almost want that to end as much as I want Auburn to win the Iron Bowl. Although, Tennessee sucks and I hate them, too.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Still at $1130. Well! Let's get busy.
Gimme $625 on Auburn to beat Arkansas, to win $50.
Gimme $105 to win $50 on Florida to beat South Carolina. This seems like such a good bet to me that I must be missing something.
Gimme $11 on LSU-Mississippi State going over 61 points, to win $10.
Auburn (-18.5): Pride (Wrath). Obvious reasons, I think.
Florida (-6): Lust (Wrath). Did this one last.
LSU (-19): Envy (Wrath). LSU has a fantastic passing offense. Auburn used to have a good offense. I remember it, like a dream. This is a tough pick because LSU is really good and Mississippi State seems to be cratering, but it's also got "look ahead/let down" written all over it. Seems like the over is a good bet here.
Missouri (-21.5): Greed (Sloth). They're rich at Vanderbilt, and Missouri was greedy to join the SEC, where they don't have a good fit and gave up their traditional rivalries to make more TV money.
Georgia (-24.5): Sloth (Wrath). That's how Georgia looked last week, and that accurately captures my total inability to muster any concern about this game.
Texas A&M (-6) (Sloth): Gluttony. The Grove or whatever.
Tennessee (+34.5): Wrath (double Wrath). The most obvious reasons, I think. Of course, Auburn beating Alabama is what's most important, but Alabama fans get such pleasure from their streak against Tennessee that I almost want that to end as much as I want Auburn to win the Iron Bowl. Although, Tennessee sucks and I hate them, too.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Still at $1130. Well! Let's get busy.
Gimme $625 on Auburn to beat Arkansas, to win $50.
Gimme $105 to win $50 on Florida to beat South Carolina. This seems like such a good bet to me that I must be missing something.
Gimme $11 on LSU-Mississippi State going over 61 points, to win $10.
Week 8 Picks: We're Pickin' Week 8 (Time to Pick Week 8, Baby)
Awoooga. Awooooooooga.
Arkansas +18.5 Awooooooga. This pick is my brand. Arkansas isn't good and Gus hates them, sure. However, this game is at 11 am and I was always told that nothing good happens after 2 am.
Florida - 6 Awooga. Let's face it, Kyle Trask is incapable of a Jake-Fromm-style meltdown. He'll forge his own unique brand of meltdown but not in this game or at least not enough to matter.
LSU -19 Awoooooooooooooooooga. Wooga. This is the year LSU scores against Alabama.
Vanderbilt +21.5 Awoooooga. Awooga. Vanderbilt just lost by 24 or something to UNLV.
Georgia -24.5 Grrrr. mad.
Old Mist +6 Putting some but not all of my chips on Jimbo being as bad as you seem to think he is.
Alabama -34.5 Alabama has already covered a spread this size twice this season, so whatever. This game is so late! Imagining Nick Saban coaching in pajamas/nightcap and carrying around a rapidly melting candle. Awooga. I forgot I was doing that. I forgot I was saying awooga for some reason.
$$$ here be bets starting with $1,721.24 $$$
Arkansas +18.5 Awooooooga. This pick is my brand. Arkansas isn't good and Gus hates them, sure. However, this game is at 11 am and I was always told that nothing good happens after 2 am.
Florida - 6 Awooga. Let's face it, Kyle Trask is incapable of a Jake-Fromm-style meltdown. He'll forge his own unique brand of meltdown but not in this game or at least not enough to matter.
LSU -19 Awoooooooooooooooooga. Wooga. This is the year LSU scores against Alabama.
Vanderbilt +21.5 Awoooooga. Awooga. Vanderbilt just lost by 24 or something to UNLV.
Georgia -24.5 Grrrr. mad.
Old Mist +6 Putting some but not all of my chips on Jimbo being as bad as you seem to think he is.
Alabama -34.5 Alabama has already covered a spread this size twice this season, so whatever. This game is so late! Imagining Nick Saban coaching in pajamas/nightcap and carrying around a rapidly melting candle. Awooga. I forgot I was doing that. I forgot I was saying awooga for some reason.
$$$ here be bets starting with $1,721.24 $$$
- $577.78 on Georgia straight up at -2600 to win $22.22.
- $143.46 on Old Mist straight up at +205 to win $294.09.
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Harry Potter and the SEC Pick-Off
A Song of Nice Man Power: A Game He Owns: 3-3-1 (28-24-2)
The Slob Fit: A Bum, Rejected Early: 3-3-1 (26-26-2)
You're lying if you say that ties are bad. Speaking of which, here are some games.
Auburn (-18.5) at Arkansas
Florida (-6) at South Carolina
LSU (-19) at Mississippi State
Missouri (-21.5) at Waaanderbilt
Kentucky at Georgia (-24.5)
Texas A&M (-6) at Old Mist
Tennessee at Alabama (-34.5)
It appears that this is the first time we've had all fourteen conference teams playing in conference games this season.
$$$$$$$$
West, Heroes: $1721.24 (!!!!)
Dildo Draggins: $1130
The Slob Fit: A Bum, Rejected Early: 3-3-1 (26-26-2)
You're lying if you say that ties are bad. Speaking of which, here are some games.
Auburn (-18.5) at Arkansas
Florida (-6) at South Carolina
LSU (-19) at Mississippi State
Missouri (-21.5) at Waaanderbilt
Kentucky at Georgia (-24.5)
Texas A&M (-6) at Old Mist
Tennessee at Alabama (-34.5)
It appears that this is the first time we've had all fourteen conference teams playing in conference games this season.
$$$$$$$$
West, Heroes: $1721.24 (!!!!)
Dildo Draggins: $1130
Saturday, October 12, 2019
Thursday, October 10, 2019
week .... seven?
South Carolina (+24.5)
That's a big line!
Mississippi St. (-6.5) I see Missississississippi State bouncing back, I guess?
TAMU (+17) Clemson won by 14, and Alabama is two points better than Clemson.
Vanderbilt (-14.5) I don't know anything about UNLV, but they look really bad. Feels like a dumb pick.
Mizzou (-11) now that's an apple picking
Arkansas (+6.5) Also feels like a dumb pick.
LSU (-13) Let's don't act like Florida beat Auburn because they're good.
*************
A BOOKIE WHO I WOULD FRANKLY CHARACTERIZE AS NICE
*************
Working with $1130. That's a lotta moolah.
I will bet $400 to win $50 that Alabama beats TAMU. You won't be surprised but I think Alabama against TAMU at -800 is easy money.
I will bet $50 to win $10 that Mississippi State beats Tennessee. I am taking my Alabama win to bet on this one, which makes sense?
Mississippi St. (-6.5) I see Missississississippi State bouncing back, I guess?
TAMU (+17) Clemson won by 14, and Alabama is two points better than Clemson.
Vanderbilt (-14.5) I don't know anything about UNLV, but they look really bad. Feels like a dumb pick.
Mizzou (-11) now that's an apple picking
Arkansas (+6.5) Also feels like a dumb pick.
LSU (-13) Let's don't act like Florida beat Auburn because they're good.
*************
A BOOKIE WHO I WOULD FRANKLY CHARACTERIZE AS NICE
*************
Working with $1130. That's a lotta moolah.
I will bet $400 to win $50 that Alabama beats TAMU. You won't be surprised but I think Alabama against TAMU at -800 is easy money.
I will bet $50 to win $10 that Mississippi State beats Tennessee. I am taking my Alabama win to bet on this one, which makes sense?
Thinking - of course - of "The Seven Kevins"
Numbers are like bullet points.
$$$ Here are a couple of wagers that would make any Kevin proud $$$
- Georgia -24.5 Kevin I: Kevin Nealon - The primogenitor Kevin. He from whom all Kevins are descended. He was in Happy Gilmore (1996).
- Tennessee +6.5 Kevin II: Kevin Costner - Best known for playing Wyatt Earp in the box office bomb Waterworld (1995).
- Alabama -17 Kevin III: Kevin Bacon - Obscure actor who left show business after a harrowing experience on the set of Friday the 13th (1980).
- UNLV +14.5 Kevin IV: Kevin Sorbo - Played the titular role on television's Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (1995-99). Delighted audiences with his trademark catchphrase wherein he would clap childishly and recite his character's name over and over.
- Mizzou -11 Kevin V: Kevin Spacey - Great actor. Everyone loved American Beauty (1999). Seems like a nice guy.
- Kentucky -6.5 Kevin VI: Kevin Federline - The inspiration for Kid Rock's ubiquitous anthem American Bad Ass (2000).
- Florida +13 Kevin VII: Kevin McCallister - Awful, spoiled rich child. Subject of the documentary Home Alone (1990) and its sequels. Deceased. No male heirs, thus ending the Kevin bloodline.
$$$ Here are a couple of wagers that would make any Kevin proud $$$
- $849.60 on the Tahd straight up at -800. Wins $106.20.
- $200.40 on the Vahls straight up at +210. Wins $420.84.
Tuesday, October 08, 2019
Week Kevin
Last Week (Overalls)
Knotted Muscles: 2-3 (23-23-1)
Potted Mussels: 4-1 (25-21-1
This week's matchups are brought to you by the letter "M" for "Man dang lookit these matchups."
Only our beleaguered TigerBoys sit this one out. They deserve it. It was probably very warm and muggy in the Swamp.
$$$ Nice Boogie $$$
Humanities Hero: $1,130.00
STEM Idiot: $1,194.20
That's the most combined moolah we've ever had so this week will probably be a bloodbath of red ink.
Knotted Muscles: 2-3 (23-23-1)
Potted Mussels: 4-1 (25-21-1
This week's matchups are brought to you by the letter "M" for "Man dang lookit these matchups."
- South Carolina @ Georgia (-24.5)
- Mississippi St. (-6.5) @ Tennessee
- Alabama (-17) @ TAMU
- UNLV @ Vanderbilt (-14.5)
- Old Mist @ Mizzou (-11)
- Arkansas @ Kentucky (-6.5)
- Florida @ LSU (-13)
Only our beleaguered TigerBoys sit this one out. They deserve it. It was probably very warm and muggy in the Swamp.
$$$ Nice Boogie $$$
Humanities Hero: $1,130.00
STEM Idiot: $1,194.20
That's the most combined moolah we've ever had so this week will probably be a bloodbath of red ink.
Thursday, October 03, 2019
Wick Seex
An ugly slate of games! I've never felt more set up for failure, except often in day-to-day interactions and other picks on this website.
Utah State (+26) Seems like a big line, but who knows.
Auburn (-3) CALL ME A BELIEV' MAN
Troy (+25.5) Trojans!
Georgia (-25) I went back and forth on this one. Tennessee is a garbage team, but this seems like a giant line. Kirby is a conservative coach. But but Tennessee is also apparently very bad against the spread in their last few games. Has Tennessee given up?
Ole Miss (-7.5) I don't think Vanderbilt is very good, and Ole Miss seems fine. They looked OK against Alabama, except when they didn't.
$$$$$$
A NICEST BOOKIE
Playing with fire (a.k.a. $1121) means playing it safe on this, the most difficult picks of the season.
Give me $315 on LSU to beat Utah State, to win $9.
Utah State (+26) Seems like a big line, but who knows.
Auburn (-3) CALL ME A BELIEV' MAN
Troy (+25.5) Trojans!
Georgia (-25) I went back and forth on this one. Tennessee is a garbage team, but this seems like a giant line. Kirby is a conservative coach. But but Tennessee is also apparently very bad against the spread in their last few games. Has Tennessee given up?
Ole Miss (-7.5) I don't think Vanderbilt is very good, and Ole Miss seems fine. They looked OK against Alabama, except when they didn't.
$$$$$$
A NICEST BOOKIE
Playing with fire (a.k.a. $1121) means playing it safe on this, the most difficult picks of the season.
Give me $315 on LSU to beat Utah State, to win $9.
Week Six: Are you serious with all these off weeks c'mon man.
Really feeling like I'm on the verge of something terrible.
LSU -26 Eagerly anticipating an all-sec-qb Heisman ceremony (Joe Burrow, Bo Nix, and Kyle Trask).
Florida +3 chomp chomp
Troy +25.5 Troy's nickname "Trojans" comes from the inhabitants of the ancient Anatolian city of Troja.
Georgia -25 I'm officially off the Tennessee bandwagon.
Old Mist -7.5 I'm officially off the Vanderbilt bandwagon. Done with the whole state.
$$$
The wagers of sin... is death. The wagers of the captain... are as follows:
LSU -26 Eagerly anticipating an all-sec-qb Heisman ceremony (Joe Burrow, Bo Nix, and Kyle Trask).
Florida +3 chomp chomp
Troy +25.5 Troy's nickname "Trojans" comes from the inhabitants of the ancient Anatolian city of Troja.
Georgia -25 I'm officially off the Tennessee bandwagon.
Old Mist -7.5 I'm officially off the Vanderbilt bandwagon. Done with the whole state.
$$$
The wagers of sin... is death. The wagers of the captain... are as follows:
- $815.52 on UGA straight up at -2365. I stand to win $34.38.
- $84.48 on Flo-Rida straight up at +130. I stand to win $109.82.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)