Sunday, November 30, 2008

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Iron Bowl results

Remember laughter?

Nice pass.


Washington & Jefferson: 35
Millsucks: 20

Washington & Jefferson, the eyes of the nation are upon you. The bell tolls for thee! Will you heed destiny's pealing call? FULFILL YOUR DESTINY.

Friday, November 28, 2008

3E Approves.

To Daves Neal, Baker, Archer, and Rowe: Godspeed sweet princes.

Iron Bowl week VI

Iron Bowl week V

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Saturday, November 22, 2008

New phone

I am a high-tech businessperson.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Weekend Menu

In that order. Also too, assorted fruits and vegetables to balance it all out, Mom.

It could have happened to any of us

Wes, let me know if you need help with bail money. I'm not sure what the conversion rate on Australian dollars is, but I will try to find out.

It's Friday. I'm in love.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Three teams in the BCS: It could happen

Here's how: "BCS rules stipulate that no more than two schools from one conference can receive BCS bowl bids, yet rules also state that conference champions must receive an automatic bid and that No. 1 and No. 2 in the BCS standings must meet in the title game." I like the idea of 11-1 USC in the Holiday Bowl. Lucky you, Oklahoma State!

Tha Captain Approves...

Since I'm not self-righteous enough to believe I can speak for all of 3E...

3E Presents: Thursdizzle

My bedroom looks just like that kid's at the beginning of the video, except instead of Snoop Dogg, it's Waylon Jennings.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Tuesdays with Ted

Ted crouched in the bathroom stall, the hunter become the hunted.

In the abandoned ballroom the WB raged vainly, a creature searching for the scent too like its own to be detected.

Ted considered calling in a tactical strike. He even reached for his radio but pulled back. The WB would no doubt sense the radio signal and find him. Anyway, nuclear weapons had only a 70% success rate against even the early imperfect clones, and the strongest missiles had long since been shot. A nuclear strike at best had a 50-50 chance. Ted wouldn't risk.

Outside, a table hit the ceiling and crashed back down. It was making enough noise that Ted could safely move around the restroom, getting his thoughts in order. It would never hear him over the sounds of its own destructive impotence.

He stepped out the stall as the lights flickered. Why were the lights on? No doubt some panicked engineer -- or more, likely, some unlucky survivor impressed into plant duty -- had forgotten to properly shut everything down. No matter. This had to be the original. Its path had been more linear, its hunts more frequent, its killings more vicious, its desecration of the corpses more depraved. Ted was certain.

He stood up, looking at himself in the cracked mirror. Slim and muscular with a body any forty-year-old would be proud of, but his face, weathered by stress and hunger and losing that which you love, looked two decades older. He stood habitually with his left shoulder forward, making his missing right arm less apparent.

Ted was struck by doubts, not only about his next steps, but about his past decisions. Had he made the right ones? The doctors had insisted he apply the experimental serum. It was the only way, they told him.

Leave the past in the past, he told himself. The original was fifty feet away. His concentration had to be perfect. He would only have one shot at killing it, and he had to forget that it once was his own ...

Or was it? If it wasn't, the clones had become so close to perfect that there was no chance of survival. He pulled a small metal box out of his bag, pressed his thumb to the pad, and entered the code. It popped open, and he brought out one of only six surviving packages.

Like father, like son, he thought. Ted eased the restroom door open, peering out. The WB was on the other side of the room, but it was obvious it had caught the scent, even before the bag was open. Ted held the package in his teeth and ripped it open, freeing the decades-old flavor of Hormel Individually Sliced Pepperoni Snacks. Across the ballroom, the WB began to walk, then run toward him. Ted flung the pepperoni to his right; the WB followed as slices rolled across the floor.

The WB eyed Ted as it greedily scooped up the meat, aware in what remained of its mind that it was risking its life but unable to stop. Each bite revealed the bright pink mouth, its only weak spot. Ted carefully took aim with his pulse rifle.

"I'm sorry, William," he whispered as he pulled the trigger.

Before it even hit the ground, Ted knew it was the original. It did not begin to dissolve like the clones did; it was over, for good. The room filled with a sickening smell as its bowels evacuated in death. But Ted had to see the body. He crept forward and carefully pulled the protective carapice off the back of the WB's head. There, as he had expected, as he had found after every other quest, was the inexplicable symbol:


The prophecies were true. Seven down, five to go. But he was so exhausted! He tried to think of how he could keep going, when each test had been more difficult than the last. Almost as soon as he began to question himself, though, he pushed the worries out of his mind. He would keep going, and he would fulfill the prophecy. Some day, Tuesday would be called Tedsday. He would make sure of it.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I wasn't aware...

but they made a movie out of my life.

Talkin' titles

The odds I would give on each team winning the ADT National Championship Trophy (seriously that is what it is called. Tradition!), in order of current AP ranking. I don't think anyone ranked below Penn State has a realistic chance at winning the national title.

Alabama: 5-1 They've got to beat Auburn, who has won six in a row in the series and, for all their problems, seems to be improving and has the best underdog big game coach in the business; Florida, the hottest team in the country with at least equal coaching and considerably better talent, and a national championship game opponent that will probably have better coaching and talent. It's doable, but difficult. Because it's so late in the season and because of their weak schedule, it would be very difficult for Alabama to lose a game, even Auburn, and jump back into the title game, but it's not impossible.

Texas Tech: 5-1 Baylor should pose no threat, but they've got to face Oklahoma and, should they win that game, a dangerous Missouri team, plus they have to win the national championship game.

Florida: 8-3 Ignoring Citadel, Florida State is not a particularly good football team, and despite Alabama's solid offensive and defensive lines, the Gators have the better team. Urban Meyer looked fine in his last national championship game appearance; this is a team used to winning.

Texas: 11-1 They need to beat Texas A&M, which they should do, and have Texas Tech lose to both Oklahoma (possible) and Baylor (unlikely). I suppose they could slip in if Oklahoma beats Texas Tech, who drops below Texas, and then loses to Missouri, but I think a conference champion USC might jump them in that case (but, being more likely than Texas Tech losing to Baylor, it might be their best shot at the national championship game).

Oklahoma: 6-1 Texas Tech is going to be a rough game, and Oklahoma State is a good team who has had Oklahoma's number in the past. Get past those two, and there's Missouri in the Big 12 title game. Get past those, and face a proven SEC team in the title game. Doable but difficult. It would technically be a three-way tie if Oklahoma wins out, Texas wins out, and Texas Tech beats Baylor, but that would almost certainly jump Oklahoma higher in the BCS standings. Oklahoma is effectively in a "win and you're in" situation.

USC: 15-1 They need Oklahoma, Texas Tech, and Texas all to lose one more game and, just to be on the safe side, probably need Alabama to beat Florida and Oregon State to lose a game, giving them an undisputed Pac-10 title.

Penn State: 50-1 Besides winning their final game against Michigan State, Penn State need Oklahoma, Texas Tech, and Texas all to lose one more game (probably Texas Tech needs to lose a couple) and Alabama either to lose out or win out (either way works), plus USC to lose another game. And Utah losing a game wouldn't hurt, either.

Best case scenario:The winner of the SEC championship game losing their previous week's rivalry game, Oklahoma beating Texas Tech and then losing the Big 12 championship game, Michigan State upsetting Penn State and USC losing to UCLA. That gives us ... Big 12 South loser Texas vs. Utah? Boise State vs. SEC loser?

The most realistic but terrible-for-the-BCS possibility is a Big 12 championship game win by Missouri. That leaves the SEC champion facing one unappealing choice of one-loss and weak-scheduled USC and Penn State, or conference loser and one-loss Texas and Oklahoma/Texas Tech winner.




Saturday, November 15, 2008

Obesity states

When football lets you down, maps can bring you back up.

Or not. Whatever.

Strange maps

Crazies face-off

Reigning Crazy: Gene Ray and his Time Cube.

"We (Mom, Dad & Me), Gene Ray Possess Harmonic Cubic Wisdom that transcends and contradicts the Bibical 1st Day - Genesis 1.5 - when the greatest math & scientific scam of all human existence was deified. Claim of single 1st Day composed of Day, Night, Morning & Evening was a Lie, as they were Static points as 4 corners and did not rotate as Time motion. Instead each of the 4 quadrant Times represented a single and separate 24 hour Day rotation within a common 24 hour rotation of Earth. You would be wiser if unschooled then be taught ONEness stupidity to worship Evil of ONEism, contradicted by Opposite Creation."
Challenger: The Fair Education Foundation, Inc.'s, Non-Moving Earth & Anti-Evolution Web Page.

"'An electromagnet and computerized sensor hidden in its display stand cause the Earth to levitate motionlessly in the air.' Could God have engineered something like that for the real Earth? The Bible and all real evidence confirms that this is precisely what He did, and indeed: The Earth is not rotating...nor is it going around the sun. The universe is not one ten trillionth the size we are told. Today’s cosmology fulfills an anti-Bible religious plan disguised as "science". The whole scheme from Copernicanism to Big Bangism is a factless lie. Those lies have planted the Truth-killing virus of evolutionism in every aspect of man’s "knowledge" about the Universe, the Earth, and Himself. Take your time. Check it all out. Decide for yourself."

Winner: Time Cube. Points for the giant font, the casual homophobia, multiple pages of insanity, and the graph paper background (which lets you know that it's serious science). I must admit, though, that the Fair Education Foundation's Subject Area titles (for example, "Teaching Evolution Now Unlawful in USA" and "A Few Examples of Ineffable Design") make a big push. In the end, though, you've got to go with the reigning champ. If you doubt the result, just open up Time Cube's page and start reading out loud.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

3E annual reunion

I think we should have it here.

Defense. Ur doin it wrong.

Besides being the place Mike DuBose has gone to die, here (yes, again!) is the only reason anyone has ever heard of Millsaps. Pontiac Game Changing Performance, playas.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

3E also approves...

3E approves

Cake Tuesday

The thing I like about Cake is that they seem to have sprung, fully formed, from some alternative country Greek deity. A lot of bands feel the need to evolve -- not Cake! And I mean that as a compliment.

You can see what I mean with their first album, Motorcade of Generosity, which sounds like pretty much all their music to follow; it set the standard spare and ironic Cake sound. "Jolene" is an excellent song, but I like the nonsensically Zen "Mr. Mastodon Farm" best.

Cake hit it big with Fashion Nugget, which featured the ridiculously overplayed "The Distance." This one's got a bit more range than Motorcade of Generosity and is probably my favorite Cake album. It's hard to pick just one song to sample, and every one here is solid, but "Frank Sinatra" is really good, and the video is very 1990s music video.

Prolonging the Magic, to my ear, sounds just like Fashion Nugget, but people who say they can tell a difference say the departure of two band members gave Cake a decidedly different sound. Whatever. It's as good top to bottom as Fashion Nugget, but I don't like it quite as much overall. Again, picking just one song is tough, so we'll go with my favorite in high school (and a great video).

Comfort Eagle sounds a tiny bit more synth than Cake's previous records. It also has two songs about classical music (sort of). Still, Cake has a formula, and they're sticking to it, and that's a good thing. I really like "Meanwhile, Rick James ..." (even though I can't really tell what's he's saying after that), which would not feel out of place on any other Cake album.

I was disappointed by Pressure Chief. The strongest single is a probably a cover, "Guitar Man," although I also really liked "Waiting." This is the only Cake CD I can't say is one of my favorite albums.

Learning from this, I guess, the excellent B-Sides and Rarities is almost all covers. It's a lot of fun. Cake's alt-country-rock "War Pigs" and "Strangers in the Night" are great examples, but the best is probably their rendition of "Mahna Mahna." I also really like this album's "It's Coming Down," and a couple of classic country covers from George Jones and Buck Owens.

Monday, November 10, 2008

In the spirit of sportsmanship...

After I showed him how the keyboard works, Millsaps student body president Todd "Skeeter" Paisley painstakingly typed this special message all by himself! Afterwards, he requested to watch animal bloopers and clips from Two and a Half Men. Interestingly, the post counts as a 3 hour lab credit and the bloopers as an elective.

'saps rulz!!!1 BSC teh suxors!! k thx bai.


man I would totally go see that

comics I like



Hate week t-shirts available here.

You have to make them yourself but I have faith in you. Be creative. The world is your oyster.


Get the latest news satire and funny videos at

This is a good example of why presidential debates are so terrible. These aren't debates; they're minispeeches.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Indie alternative rock Saturday

What a great video.

It's back.

Mah mouth, she waters!

Friday, November 07, 2008

3E meeting report

Man, it's too bad nobody could make it to the 3E get-together in Birmingham. At least Scrott was there, and I managed to get a little video of him for everyone who missed it.

Scrott is so chivalrous.

So what were you guys doing, huh?


Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Happy Guy Fawkes Day!



In addition to the traditionally Demtastic Black Belt counties, Jeffco getting in on the hot Obama action. Meaning: ALL WE KNOW IS AT AN END. Either that or nothing at all has changed and nothing ever will. U decide.

Obama - Not Bush

Don't wait to jump on the bandwagon. Get your stickers and magnets now!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

It makes no difference which one of us you vote for. Either way, your planet is doomed. Doomed!

3E's real real endorsement

ignore the falsehoods lest ye too be damned

only one person can guide the nation through these troubled times

The REAL endorsement.

I think we all know who 3E really endorses. Here's a hint: dude delivered milk to Honus Wagner.

3E Officially Endorses Barack Obama

Now all you people who have been waiting to hear what we think can get out and vote.

Remember: Obama supporters vote today, McCain supporters vote tomorrow.

Monday, November 03, 2008

A tender riposte.

The countdown nears zero. Get ready for maps, bitches.

Allow me to retort.

Don't listen to him. Auburn will never be anything more than a Peach Bowl caliber team ever again.

Auburn Losing Streak: Day 37

Who's laughing now, dicks?

I actually felt better about this loss than about any previous, save Lsu, a close one to a team that has since lost a lot of its shine. The thing is, this season is over. It's been over since, at the latest, the Arkansas game. We've got to think in terms of the future.

The running game was almost entirely absent for the Ole Miss game, but the pieces are there. A capable offensive coordinator (i.e. not Steve Ensminger) can fashion a pretty good running game with Tate and Smith. Besides, as Texas Tech showed, a good passing game can open up a lot of things in running the ball. And I think Burns (despite some very poor decisions that led to two of his three interceptions) had a pretty good overall game. He's not good enough to win games by himself, which is what the coaches asked him to do last Saturday, but he played well enough that, had the running game been making sounds anywhere close to clicking, Auburn could have won handily. 27-43 and 319 yards, if you cut out the interceptions, will win some football games.

As for receiver play, man, I don't know. I thought Chris Slaughter had a pretty good game, and I guess it's not surprising Rod Smith got hurt. I still feel like what was expressed in this letter from after the Arkansas game:
Dear wide receivers,

Why are you so slow? Why do you drop passes? Do you understand the offense now? Are you running the correct routes? Does Greg Knox pour sand into your mouths when you are sleeping and make you wear ankle weights during games? Also, why are you so slow?
Since almost every starter on defense has been seriously injured at some point in the season, and since Auburn only has nine seniors total on the two-deep chart, there has been a lot of positive playing time for young talented players. I'm especially looking at defensive backs, where Auburn has lost both starters (one for the season before it even started) and at least for practice both back-ups at cornerback at some point this season. Thorpe and Hood are going to be excellent backs, and they've had plenty of practice. Barring, well, another season of injuries like this, the defense in 2009 should be both talented and deep. I'm a little worried about linebackers, but I can't recall Auburn having a serious problem at linebacker since Tuberville has been down there.

Will Tuberville bring in a capable offensive coordinator, and will he let him choose his own position coaches and assistants? In my mind, that's the big question. If the young receivers are as good as the recruiting scouts said they are, the talent is (mostly) there for a solid offense that throws the ball aggressively, runs straight at defenses and knocks their faces in. The question is, who can run that kind of offense? I think there's really only one logical solution, so long as Tubby keeps a firm hand on recruiting:

Sunday, November 02, 2008


Saturday, November 01, 2008