as the old saying goes: "use several bad fonts for your stupid score board"

 

spread sheet

 

*Star Track 6 bad guy Klingon voice * ah the game is a foot

 

*sniffles*

 

Tha Captain finally got his Christmas present

 

*CONTINUES SQUINTING, BECOMING VISIBLY AGITATED, ANGRY*

 

THE POWER FACTOR IS C+1.826 I FORGOT TO PUT IT ON THERE BUT I HAVE A JOB I'M BUSY AND I'M NOT APOLOGIZING

*squints*

  

DOCTORS DONT WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT THESE 41 WEIRD PICKS

As an Alpha Male, I will not be explaining myself and most and first and importantly and foremost of all, I WILL NOT BE APOLOGIZING

MYRTLE BEACH: (32) Georgia Southern / Ohio

Walt, masculinely gnawing on a $4 cigar, "let's go georgia southern! I'm a big idiot!"

NEW ORLEANS: (8) UL-Lafayette / Jacksonville St.

If you asked 100 non-Alabamians where is "Jacksonville State University" I bet a bunch of them would spit in your face. It's in Alabama, they'd say through clenched teeth. Whar tha hell else would it be, they'd yammer. I'm not even from thar and *spits* ah reckon you ain't never killed a boar have ye?

CURE: (36) Appalachian St. / Miami (OH)

There's guys with signs and then there's THAT GUY with THAT SIGN.

NEW MEXICO: (24) New Mexico St. / Fresno St.

ahkhh

LA: (7) Boise St. / UCLA

It was called Boyse St. until Avril Lavigne dropped her hit song "Skater Boi." Then THE DARKENING happened and we all know where it went from there!

INDEPENDENCE: (9) Texas Tech / Cal of fornia

pew pew *blows smoke from fake pistol, several toddlers lie in pools of real blood*

FAMOUS TOASTERY WHAT THE HELL: (13) WKU / ODU

A mad lib where it's three questions and they're all "what is a letter" and at the end, boom, you have a university... *record scratch* that last one's gotta be "u" sis!

FRISCO: (38) UTSA / Marshall

UTSA would be a big favorite over the other members of the paw patrol too. 

BOCA RATON: (14) USF / Syracuse

USF would be a big favorite over the other city-states of ancient Sicily too.

GASPARILLA: (10) UCF / Georgia Tech

Gusparilla

BIRMINGHAM: (22) Troy / Duke

I thought they decided Troy vs Duke... *tries to figure out which duke was involved in the Iliad* 

CAMELLIA QUEEN OF THE BOWLS: (26) Arkansas St. / Northern Illinois

speaking of huskies *rocks back and forth, whistling, like 1923 mickey mouse*

ARMED FORCES: (27) Jim Madison / Air Force

air planes! vroom.

POTATO: (2) Utah St. / Georgia St.

*sunken eyes, a hollow and gaunt face*

MOBILE: (39) South Alabama / EMU

Joey Jones left BSC to coach South Alabama and I blame him for "The Muckup on The Hilltop"

LAS VEGAS: (37) Utah / Northwestern

Roll the dice and spin the wheel! These two teams came to PLAY!

HAWAII: (33) San Jose St. / Coastal Carolina

Sir, we're running out of carolinas to name bad football teams after, the secretary of states said to the president.

QUICK LANE: (23) Minnesota / Bowling Green

They should be called Bowling Orange/Brown. Thank you

FIRST RESPONDER: (15) Texas St. / Rice

First Responder? I hardly know her! 

GUARANTEED RATE: (35) Kansas / UNLV

The only guaranteed rate here is the rate I will be enjoying this game which is 4.

MILITARY: (4) Tulane / Virginia Tech

Tulane undergoing massive upgrades on campus. Pretty soon they're going to be Fourlane! Thank you

DUKE'S MAYO: (3) North Carolina / West Virginia

West Virginia should make a legitimate push for Virginia to call itself East Virginia.

HOLIDAY: (5) USC / Louisville

If this is a holiday, I'd rather be at work! Yeesh. 

TEXAS: (18) Oklahoma St. / TAMU

Everything's stupider in Texas.

FENWAY: (34) SMU / Boston College

Catholics vs Convicts

POP TART: (29) Kansas St. / NC St.

Pop Tarts: The Other White Meat

ALAMO: (20) Oklahoma / Arizona

You would think this would be easy. Two football teams. 

GATOR: (30) Clemson / Kentucky

Right? I mean, right? 

SUN: (25) Notre Dame / Oregon St.

Beavers, haha. That's rich.

LIBERTY: (16) Iowa St. / Memphis

Libearty. The bear.

COTTON: (21) Ohio St. / Mizzou

His name should be Eli Coachwitz. Unless he's a drinker. Then his name is fine. I don't care.

PEACH: (31) Penn St. / Old Mist

The guardians of The Old Ways (pedophilia and institutional racism).

MUSIC CITY: (1) Auburn / Maryland

There was reportedly an extended cut of the hell-orgy scene in Event Horizon but the footage was lost. No reason I'm talking about that here.

ORANGE: (41) Georgia / Florida St.

*draws in deep breath in preparation of explaining why Florida St. should be in the playoff* lol, lmao

ARIZONA: (12) Toledo / Wyoming

Holy Toledo!

RELIAQUEST: (17) LSU / Wisconsin

*Will Smith slaps Chris Rock* Take Reliaquest out of your mouth! Welcome to Earth!

CITRUS: (6) Iowa / Tennessee

I know it's supposed to be citrus, but this one seems like a lemon! In that my children will want to taste it and make performative faces about how "spicy" it is.

FIESTA: (40) Oregon / Liberty

This is for all the Tostitos! For Oregon that means Subarus and weird craft beers. For Liberty that means January 6th.  

ROSE: (19) Alabama / Michigan

See above, kinda.

*SOAD VOICE* SUGAR: (11) Texas / Washington

Alamo Bowl ass semifinal

man you know it's bowl picks time

Myrtle Beach Bowl

My pick: Ohio (10)

The archetypal Bowl Game. I thought Ohio's coach was named Tim Allen, but that's not correct. 

R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl

My pick: Jacksonville St. (4)

I am always going to pick teams from the state of Alabama. This state is going to go Undefeated in bowl season. RichRod is the coach at Jacksonville State, which is pretty funny. 

Cure Bowl

My pick: Appalachian St. (22)

pretty quotidian matchup imo

New Mexico Bowl

My pick: New Mexico State (2)

The seizure man. Old seizy. New Mexico State is not that good; even Auburn was competitive with them for a while.

LA Bowl

My pick: UCLA (3)

Boise State has been mired in controversy since the revelation that their mascot is an homage to former US President Bronco Bama, and I think that distraction will be the difference. 

Radiance Tech Independence Bowl 

My pick: Texas Tech (11)

Golden Bears, Red Raiders--is this a football game or a coloring book? Am I right, folks? 

Famous Toastery Bowl

My pick: Western Kentucky (18)

I'm sick and tired of constantly hearing about Toastery. Let off, you know?? 

Scooter’s Coffee Frisco Bowl 

My pick: UTSA (38)

Now UTSA, there's a team that feels good about itself. Also: That coffee gives me the scooters alright! 

RoofClaim.com Boca Raton Bowl

My pick: Syracuse (17)

Every one of us is complicit in this and will stand before Heaven's Judgment Seat, each for our own greater or lesser part.

Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl

My pick: UCF (30)

We <3 Gus

Birmingham Bowl

My pick: Troy (32)

Two interim coaches, right? It's a little weird to go from Troy to Tulane, from a football perspective, but not from an everything else perspective. 

Camellia Bowl 

My pick: NIU (8)

Turner the Burner, baby. Remember Butch Jones? He's back, in Pog form.  

Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl

My pick: James Madison (33)
I must register my opposition to having two military-themed bowl games (this one and the Orange Bowl)

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl 

My pick: Utah State (7)
Which state shall emerge victorious? 

68 Ventures Bowl 

My pick: South Alabama (40)

Man I love 68 Ventures, a thing I had definitely heard of. Remember when South Alabama blasted Oklahoma State? 

SRS Distribution Las Vegas Bowl 

My pick: Utah (37)

Northwestern, really overshooting their expectations for this season.

EasyPost Hawaii Bowl 

My pick: San Jose St. (6)

Easy posty, lemon toasty. Gray Son McCaw, the Crow King, will not be available for the Chanticleers. 

Quick Lane Bowl 

My pick: Minnesota (21)

I hate the internet now, trying to look up a preview for a bowl game and getting 6,000 variations of the same algorithm-written article telling me which team had more passing yards.

SERVPRO First Responder Bowl

My pick: Texas State (13)

Servius Proscipulus (usually rendered SERV PRO in inscriptions) was a Roman politician, general, and poet. Born into an Etruscan family of some prominence, Proscipulus spent most of his life seeking to match the military exploits of his more capable ancestors, usually with disastrous results. His refusal to accept the settlement of the Second Thranduil War led to his eventual expulsion from Italy, and he died in Marcos. Generally known today for his failures as a general and politician, during his lifetime Proscipulus was primarily known for his witty and self-referential poems, none of which survive. His acid wit was legendary; Marcus Cicero famously said that Proscipulus's humor was "crueler and more dangerous than any Bohemian tip," the Bohemian tribes at the time being famous for the sharpness of their half-moon arrowheads. 

Guaranteed Rate Bowl

My pick: Kansas (28) 

That guy at Kansas seems like a good coach.  

Military Bowl

My pick: Tulane (1)

Tulane is better than people think. As usual, an insult to the troops. 

Duke’s Mayo Bowl 

My pick: West Virginia (27)

What, was East Carolina not available???? Because they're playing North Carolina. And they're West Virginia. Directions, you know? Some state should be named "East" something. 

Holiday Bowl 

My pick: Louisville (25) 

They should play the Holiday Bowl in Cambodia. Jayden Daniels winning the Heisman has done something to overshadow it, but wasting a quarterback talent like Caleb Williams at a place like USC is really an astounding failure of coaching. 

TaxAct Texas Bowl

My pick: Texas A&M (20)
some campy carny bullcrap. hokey, honkey horse hockey.

Wasabi Fenway Bowl 

My pick: SMU (36) 

Futurama: Death by SMU SMU 

Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl

My pick: Miami(FL) (34)

[Old timey investigator voice]: Are you now, or have you ever been, a consumer of Bad Boy Mowers?

Pop-Tarts Bowl

My pick: Kansas St. (31) 

lets watch the pop tart bowl

Valero Alamo Bowl 

My pick: Oklahoma (12)

I can't believe, after last year's farcical tragedy, that they're letting Tha Captain do the halftime show again for the Alamo Bowl. How many horses have to die before the authorities do something about this? 

TaxSlayer Gator Bowl 

My pick: Clempson (24)

It was a very improbable outcome that Kentucky beat Louisville, Louisville lost to FSU, and it still was a big deal that Kentucky beat Louisville. 

Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl

My pick: Notre Dame (29)

Is Tony The Tiger Catholic 

AutoZone Libearty Bowl 

My pick: Iowa St. (23)
Matt Campbell is an odd-looking dude. If you just started from scratch and eliminated all tradition, prestige, etc, you would think Memphis would be pretty good, but they are most certainly not. 

Goodyear Cotton Bowl 

My pick: Ohio St. (35)

Ohio State is, you know, way better than Missouri, right?? Even with a back-up quarterback, I would think Ohio State would be better. The transfer portal etc is a more fair system, but it's also not as fun that every starting quarterback in America is apparently transferring. 

Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl
My pickL Penn St. (39)

Old Mist is actually Not That Good against really good defenses. Auburn almost beat them, so they must be bad. 

TransPerfect Music City Bowl

My pick: Auburn (9)

Video of this game will be used at an arraignment one day. 

Capital One Orange Bowl 

My pick: Georgia (19)

I still think Georgia is going to win because of the sinfulness of human society, but I am not nearly as confident as the big line suggests. Georgia does not want to be there, and Florida State has a chance at a split title.

Barstool Sports Arizona Bowl

My pick: Toledo (16)

Oh, Barstool Sports, great. They're finally letting some more real dickheads into college football. 

ReliaQuest Bowl 

My pick: LSU (26)

Even if Jayden Daniels doesn't play, LSU is still better than Wisconsin, right?

Cheez-It Citrus Bowl 

My pick: Tennessee (15)

Tennessee hasn't looked strong against very good defenses, but Iowa hasn't had any offense. Cheez-Its are probably my favorite or at least most-eaten name-brand snack. I don't eat Pop Tarts or other such treats much any more because of the sugar. At least for me, potato chips are just potato chips, and the cheap Piggly Wiggly chips are just as good as the fancy ones, unless they're literally freshly cooked. Similar for almonds etc--just get the store brand! But Cheez-Its are Cheez-Its.  

VRBO Fiesta Bowl 

My pick: Oregon (41)

Beat The Libs

Rose Bowl

My pick: alabama (5)

Commitment to the bit versus what I actually think will happen has got them down this low.

Allstate Sugar Bowl

My pick: Texas (14) 

The playoff sucks. We should go back to the old bowl system. 

sweet moustache it's the 2023 bowl pick them

You (a fool): I believe in the tradition, the sanctity, of college football's bowl games.

Me (wise): lets watch the pop tart bowl

Myrtle Beach Bowl Georgia Southern -3.5 vs Ohio Dec. 16 10:00 am 

R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl Jacksonville St. -3 vs Louisiana Dec. 16 1:15pm 

Cure Bowl Miami(Ohio) vs Appalachian St. -5.5 Dec. 16 2:30 pm

New Mexico Bowl New Mexico State -3 vs. Fresno State Dec. 16 4:45 pm 

LA Bowl UCLA -2 vs Boise St. Dec. 16 6:30 pm

Radiance Tech Independence Bowl California vs Texas Tech -3 Dec. 16 8:15 pm 

Famous Toastery Bowl Western Kentucky vs Old Dominion -2.5 Dec. 18 1:30 pm 

Scooter’s Coffee Frisco Bowl UTSA -10 vs Marshall Dec. 19 8:00 pm 

RoofClaim.com Boca Raton Bowl USF vs Syracuse -3 Dec. 21 7:00 pm 

Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl UCF -5 vs Georgia Tech Dec. 22 5:30 pm 

Birmingham Bowl Duke vs Troy -7.5 Dec. 23 11:00 am

Camellia Bowl Arkansas St vs NIU -1 Dec. 23 11:00 am 

Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl James Madison -3 vs Air Force Dec. 23 2:30 pm 

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl Utah State -1 vs. Georgia State Dec. 23 2:30 pm 

68 Ventures Bowl South Alabama -16 vs Eastern Michigan Dec. 23 6:00 pm 

SRS Distribution Las Vegas Bowl Utah -7 vs Northwestern Dec. 23 6:30 pm 

EasyPost Hawaii Bowl Coastal Carolina vs San Jose St. -9.5 Dec. 23 9:30 pm 

Quick Lane Bowl Bowling Green vs Minnesota -4 Dec. 26 1:00 pm 

SERVPRO First Responder Bowl Texas State -4 vs Rice Dec. 26 4:30 pm 

Guaranteed Rate Bowl Kansas -12.5 vs UNLV Dec. 26 8:00 pm 

Military Bowl Virginia Tech -7.5 vs Tulane Dec. 27 1:00 pm 

Duke’s Mayo Bowl North Carolina vs West Virginia -3 Dec. 27 4:30 pm 

Holiday Bowl Louisville -8 vs USC Dec. 27 7:00 pm 

TaxAct Texas Bowl Texas A&M vs Oklahoma St -3. Dec. 27 8:00 pm 

Wasabi Fenway Bowl Boston College vs SMU -11.5 Dec. 28 10:00 am 

Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl Rutgers vs Miami(FL) -2 Dec. 28 1:15 pm 

Pop-Tarts Bowl NC State vs Kansas St. -3 Dec. 28 4:45 pm 

Valero Alamo Bowl Arizona -3 vs Oklahoma Dec. 28 8:15 pm 

TaxSlayer Gator Bowl Clemson -7 vs Kentucky Dec. 29 11:00 am 

Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl Notre Dame -8 vs Oregon St. Dec. 29 1:00 pm 

AutoZone Liberty Bowl Memphis vs Iowa St. -8.5 Dec. 29 2:30 pm 

Goodyear Cotton Bowl Missouri -2.5 vs Ohio St. Dec. 29 7:00 pm 

Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl Ole Miss vs Penn St. -3.5 Dec. 30 11:00 am 

TransPerfect Music City Bowl Auburn -2.5 vs Maryland Dec. 30 1:00 pm 

Capital One Orange Bowl Florida St vs Georgia -14 Dec. 30 3:00 pm 

Barstool Sports Arizona Bowl Toledo vs Wyoming -3 Dec. 30 3:30 pm

ReliaQuest Bowl Wisconsin vs LSU -10.5 Jan. 1 11:00 am 

Cheez-It Citrus Bowl Iowa vs Tennessee -8.5 Jan. 1 12:00 pm 

VRBO Fiesta Bowl Oregon -16 vs Liberty Jan. 1 12:00 pm 

Rose Bowl(Playoff) Michigan -1.5 vs Alabama Jan. 1 4:00 pm 

Allstate Sugar Bowl(Playoff) Washington vs Texas -4 Jan. 1 7:45 pm 

MARF Giveth... MARF Taketh Away

Cruel, cruel MARF.

MARF: 5-4 (47-49-2); {v}1,040.08

marf: 5-4 (56-40-2); {v}1,425.25

I don't mean to alarm anyone, but that means the all-time records are tied.

MARF: 382-353-11

marf: 382-353-11

wow.

Praying for split like a 19th-century Croatian nationalist

Old Mist at Mississippi State +11: It was close last year, right?

Missouri -7.5 at Arkansas: ok

Kentucky at Louisville -7: Kentucky seems to be falling apart.

Texas A&M +11 at LSU : Video game number guy looks to have video game numbers.

Alabama at Auburn +14.5: The amount of coping excuse making from Auburn fans about the New Mexico State loss specifically and in general Hugh Freeze, who has had a first season characterized by everything that those opposed to his hire expected, has been embarrassing as a fan base. 

Vanderbilt at Tennessee -26.5: ok

Florida State -6.5 at Florida: A drunk Florida State fan on Tuesday night told me that the back-up for Florida State is just as good as the starter was, and he then explained to me how the concept of substitutions in football works. 

Clemson -7 at South Carolina: Dabo is mad about last year. 

Georgia -24.5 at Georgia Tech: ok

{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}150 on Clemson -300 to win {v}50

Gimme {v}148.50 on Louisville -275 to win {v}54

Napoleon... that frickin guy...

Napoleon Bone of Part.

Old Mist -11

Mizzou -7.5

Kentucky +7

LSU -11

Alabama -14.5

Tennessee -26.5

Florida St. -6.5

Clemson -7

Georgia -24.5

{v}

1. {v}228.04 on Kentucky +225 to win {v}513.09

I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things.

Old Mist -450, -11 at Mississippi State +300 T:55.5

Missouri -300, -7.5 at Arkansas +240 T:54.5

Kentucky +225 at Louisville -275, -7 T:50.5

Texas A&M +340 at LSU -450, -11 T:66.5

Alabama -700, -14.5 at Auburn +500 T:49

Vanderbilt +1400 at Tennessee -5000, -26.5 T:56.5

Florida State -275, -6.5 at Florida +225 T:50.5

Clemson -300, -7 at South Carolina +240 T:51.5

Georgia -3000, -24.5 at Georgia Tech +1200 T:60.5

we are living in a MARF-terial world

and i am a MARF-terial girl.

Madonna: 3-5 (42-45-2); {v}1,138.58

Yourdonna: 3-5 (51-36-2); {v}912.16

MARF.

What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun? One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but MARF abideth for ever.

Old Mist -37.5

Mississippi St. -14

Georgia -10.5

Auburn -23.5

Mizzou -11

Kentucky -1.5

Arkansas -29.5

LSU -30.5

Lotta minuses up there, ha ha.

{v}

1. {v}294.25 on Auburn -3000 to win {v}9.81

2. {v}9.81 on Florida +325 to win {v}31.88

the year has gone by very quickly

Louisiana-Monroe at Old Mist -37.5: That seems like a pick. 

Southern Miss +14 at Mississippi State: okay

Georgia -10.5 at Tennessee: Georgia is good again. 

New Mexico State +23.5 at Auburn: This line seems insanely high, but then Auburn has been playing really well lately. Tough. 

Florida at Missouri -11: Weird for Florida to be so mid. 

Kentucky -1.5 at South Carolina: Feels like another line I do not understand. 

Florida International +29.5 at Arkansas: piggies vs panthers

Georgia State +30.5 at LSU: These are stupid games this week

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}400 on Georgia -400, to win {v}100 would love to be wrong

Gimme {v}77 on Kentucky -1.5, to win {v}70

Sun Belt Saturday

Louisiana-Monroe +5000, at Old Mist -100000, -37.5 T:62.5

Southern Miss +425 at Mississippi State -600, -14 T:46.5

Georgia -400, -10.5 at Tennessee +310 T:58.5

New Mexico State +1200 at Auburn -3000, -23.5 T:48.5

Florida +325 at Missouri -450, -11 T:59.5

Kentucky -125, -1.5 at South Carolina +105 T:54.5

Florida International +3000 at Arkansas -10000, -29.5 T:51.5

Georgia State +3000 at LSU -10000, -30.5 T:71.5

MARF... You're Hearing It More and More...

MARF: 5-2 (39-40-2); {v}1,115.58

BARF: 5-2 (48-31-2); {v}1,216.22

You see things; and you say, "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say, "lol. lmao."

Alabama, -10.5 at Kentucky: Alabama is good again.

Vanderbilt at South Carolina -13.5: Vanderbilt is bad again.

Tennessee -1 at Missouri: don't know

Auburn +3 at Arkansas: Seems like an insulting line, even worse that it's probably correct.

Old Mist at Georgia -10.5: I hate this.

Florida at LSU -13.5: Florida is not good.

Mississippi State +18.5 at TAMU: lol. lmao.

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}100 on Auburn +125, to win {v}125

Gimme {v}250 on Alabama -450, to win {v}55.56

Gimme {v}200 on Georgia -500, to win {v}40

What is MARF? We just don't know.

MARF.

Alabama -10.5

South Carolina -13.5

Tennessee -1

Auburn +3

Georgia -10.5

LSU -13.5

Mississippi St. +18.5

{v}

MARF!

1. {v}225.70 on Alabama -450 to win {v}50.15

2 {v}50.15 on Auburn +125 to win {v}62.69

These lines are for gambling purposes only and may not be used for any entertainment value

Alabama, -450, -10.5 at Kentucky +340 T:47.5

Vanderbilt +425 at South Carolina -600, -13.5 T:58.5

Tennessee -110, -1 at Missouri -110 T:58.5 

Auburn +125 at Arkansas -150, -3 T:48

Old Mist +360 at Georgia -500, -10.5 T:58.5

Florida +450 at LSU -650, -13.5 T:63.5

Mississippi State +625 at TAMU -1000, -18.5 T:43

SWEATING

Spiderman: 6-1-1 (34-38-2); {v}895.02

Naked Spiderman: 5-2-1 (43-29-2); {v}1,103.38

Ralph Wiggum voice: I'm picking

 Arkansas +6 at Florida: I guess

Jacksonville State +15.5 at South Carolina: This is a weird line. Does RichRod have a little something for them????

UConn at Tennessee -35.5: This would be a heck of a women's college football game.

Texas A&M +at Old Mist -3: Lane hates Jimbo.

Missouri at Georgia -15.5: Georgia decided they are good now.

Auburn -12.5 at Vandy: This seems like the kind of game that Brother Hugh will use to run up the score and burnish his rep, or that Auburn will lose. 

Kentucky -3.5 at Missississippi State: Feels like I'm missing something here with this line.

LSU +135 at Alabama -165, -3 T:60.5: tahd

{v} {v} {v} THE NICE BOOKIE {v} {v} {v}

{v} {v} {v} THE NICE BOOKIE {v} {v} {v}

{v} {v} {v} THE NICE BOOKIE {v} {v} {v}

Gimme {v}200 on Jacksonville State +15.5, to win {v}181.82

Gimme {v}100 on Auburn -12.5, to win {v}90.91

Take these to the bank, boys

The toilet bank, that is!

Florida -6

Jacksonville St. + 15.5  Dick Rod leads Cocks against Cocks lol

Tennessee -35.5  If it were -36 it would be a no-brainer the other way

Old Mist -3

Mizzou +15.5  Tigers. Rawr.

Vanderbilt +12.5  Recalling how in 2008 gameday went to nashville for the auburn/vandy game. Auburn lost and - in a fit of rage and stupidity - I dumped my trash can into my washing machine. They say history repeats itself. I mean, idiots say that (per Varkham Markham) but I'm the guy who dumped his trash into his own washing machine so I definitely say that.

Kentucky -3.5

Alabama -3

{v}

1. {v}164.70 on Old Mist -160 to win {v}102.93

2. {v}113.88 on TAMU +135 to win {v}153.74

happy halloween

done with line facts, they're stupid

Arkansas +185 at Florida -225, -6 T:49.5

Jacksonville State +550 at South Carolina -800, -15.5 T:54.5

UConn +4000  at Tennessee -50000, -35.5 T:53.5

Texas A&M +135 at Old Mist -160, -3 T:53.5 

Missouri +525 at Georgia -750, -15.5 T:54.5

Auburn -500, -12.5 at Vandy +360 T:49.5

Kentucky -165, -3.5 at Missississippi State +135 T:46

LSU +135 at Alabama -165, -3 T:60.5

As Stone Cold Steve Austin Likes To Say...

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?

Professional Wrestling: 1-4 (28-37-1); {v}622.69

The Other Kind of Wrestling: 5-0 (38-27-1); {v}1,114.33

P.U.

ghosts, ghouls, things of that nature

South Carolina  vs Texas A&M -14: Man do I hope South Carolina (the worst team in the SEC now?) wins this. It's not going to happen, but it would give TAMU some serious anxiety. 

Georgia vs Florida +14.5: I'm glad that guy got hurt

Mississippi State +6.5 vs Auburn: 6.5, that reads more like the o/u for this one. Imagine trusting this Auburn team to do literally anything for you. This is going to be bad football, and I feel bad that I'm going to watch the entire thing. 

Tennessee -3.5 vs Kentucky: Tennessee keeps hurting me, let's keep it up

Vanderbilt +24.5 vs Old Mist: Seems like a lot

{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}

{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}

{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}

{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}74.80 on MSU-AU going under 43.5 that's right idiots to win {v}68

Gimme {v}74.80 on Florida +14.5 to win {v}68

5 Wrong Picks (Xtra Spooky Edition)

"Boo!" - a ghost (spooky)

"BOOOOOOO!" - people I don't even know while they read these wrong picks. they're throwing garbage at me.

South Carolina +14  Wrong.

Georgia -14.5   Nope. Wrong.

Auburn -6.5  Counting on Will "John" Rogers not playing. Wrong.

Tennessee -3.5  Way wrong.

Old Mist -24.5  Embarrassing. Hopeless. Wrong.

{v}

Time to lose some fake money.

1. {v}300.00 on Old Mist -3000 to win {v}10.00

Wrong.

"a line is a straight one-dimensional figure that does not have a thickness"

South Carolina +425 vs Texas A&M -600, -14 T:53.5

Georgia -650, -14.5 vs Florida +450 T:47.5

Mississippi State +210 vs Auburn -275, -6.5 T:43.5

Tennessee -185, -3.5 vs Kentucky +150 T:51.5

Vanderbilt +1200 vs Old Mist -3000, -24.5 T:63.5

I woke up at 1:15 am and was unable to get back to sleep because I was going over a report that I dreamed up and now that i'm completely awake I remember that it was about chicken fingers and which faucet they are supposed to come out of. it made sense from 1:15 to 5:00 this morning.

Lookin' Spiffy in a Tie: 4-1 (27-33-1); {v}629.49

Lookin' Stupid and Not Making a Rhyme or Doing Anything Clever or Interesting: 4-1 (33-27-1); {v}1,104.33

That's the largest bux lead ever after Week 8. Time to get even stupider.

Who is your favorite rapper, NBA Hall of Fame center, tv analyst, and second-tier pitchman?

Better Late Than Never (Stranger Things Reference)

These all seemed pretty easy. 5-0 fo sho.

Mississippi St. +6

Mizzou -7

Tennessee +8.5

Old Mist -6.5

LSU -30.5

{v}

1. {v}161.45 on Old Mist -250 to win {v}64.58

2. {v}64.58 on Mississippi St. +210 to win {v}135.62

It is getting so spook-dang spooky

Mississippi State +6 vs Arkansas: sure

South Carolina vs Missouri -7: Missouri seems to be peaking

Tennessee +8.5 vs Alabama: Feels like a game that's going to be lower scoring than predicted

Old Mist -6.5 vs Auburn : Look for me at the game; I'll be wearing orange and blue.

Army vs LSU -30.5: ???

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

The two games I feel most confident about are Missouri and Old Mist. Since Old Mist is on the road, that means Missourah. 

Gimme {v}151.24 on Missouri -275, to win {v}55

Gimme {v}48.40 on South Carolina vs Missouri going over 59.5, to win {v}44

"Lines are the building blocks of geometry"

Mississippi State +210 vs Arkansas -275, -6 T:48.5

South Carolina +220 vs Missouri -275, -7 T:59.5

Tennessee +275 vs Alabama -350, -8.5 T:49

Old Mist -250, -6.5 vs Auburn +200 T:56.5

Army +2000 vs LSU -15000, -30.5 T:57.5

I'm Dealing With It.

311: 3-3 (23-32-1); {v}618.49

Crazy Town: 1-5 (29-26-1); {v}904.13

When was the last time October 13th was a Friday? The answer is simple: last year and every year before that. Spooky Season.

Some of these seem very wrong!

Georgia -31.5

Alabama -19.5

Florida +2.5

TAMU +3.5

Auburn +11.5

Kentucky -2.5

{v}

1. {v}163.65 on LSU -400 to win {v}40.91

2. {v}40.91 on Florida +110 to win {v}45.00

Spookiness intensifies

I'm now inspired to call my picks "the pearl of the Gulf." These picks are "the pearl of the Gulf."

Georgia vs. Vanderbilt +31.5: Seems like a lot

Arkansas vs Alabama -19.5: Recently learned that the Pit Man's buyout halves if he has a career record below .500. He is currently 21-21, with some tough sledding ahead. You'd think that would make me pick Arkansas, but no. 

Florida +2.5 vs South Carolina: Is it more weird that Florida is an underdog to South Carolina, or more weird that it's not that surprising?

Texas A&M vs Tennessee -3.5: I originally wrote "that pudgy freak better not let me down this time," but I realize that doesn't really clarify which head coach I am talking about.  

Auburn +11.5 vs LSU: I like Auburn coming off an off week, but not enough to pick them. 

Missouri +115 vs Kentucky -140, -2.5 T:52.5: spooky

:(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   

Not working with a lot of bux. 

Gimme {v}126 on Tennessee -3.5 vs. TAMU, to win {v}114.55.

"an infinitely long object with no width, depth, or curvature"

Georgia -20000, -31.5 vs. Vanderbilt +2200 T:55.5

Arkansas +700 vs Alabama -1100, -19.5 T:46.5

Florida +110 vs South Carolina -135, -2.5 T:51.5

Texas A&M +145 vs Tennessee -175, -3.5 T:55.5

Auburn Tigers +310 vs LSU -400, -11.5 T:60.5

Missouri +115 vs Kentucky -140, -2.5 T:52.5

Living La Veed of Loca aka Pobody's Nerfect in New Orleans

I found a pearl in an oyster. Do not bite a pearl.

Bruce Pearl: 1-5 (20-29-1); {v}503.94

Pearl from MST3K: 4-2 (28-21-1); {v}818.22

oh man if it ain't the dang old spooky season

I realized this morning that it would have been funny to include the Red River Shootout on the list of conference games.

LSU vs. Missouri +6.5: Feels like another barnburner

Western Michigan vs. Mississippi State -20.5: who cares

Alabama -2.5 vs. Texas A&M: Not buying it

Vanderbilt +18 vs. Florida: If Florida lost to Vanderbilt, would Louisiana Billy make it to the end of the season? 

Kentucky +14.5 vs. Georgia: I think we're looking at a 20-10 kind of score here. 

Arkansas vs. Old Mist -11.5: It's weird about Sam Pittman, because Arkansas fans seem to love him, but also they seem to think he's not a good coach and want him gone. 

{v}{v}{v}

Betting time: guh! Working with {v}497.27. Time to go dumber.

Gimme {v}300 on Old Mist -450, to win {v}66.67

Gimme {v}60 on Missouri +200, to win {v}120

Picks! Ahhhhh!

Doin' the old "Charlie Robot." All favorites, baby.

LSU -6.5

Mississippi St. -20.5

Alabama -2.5

Florida -18

Georgia -14.5

Old Mist -11.5

{v}

Terrible thing to do here. Reprehensible.

1. {v}119.33 on Alabama -140 to win {v}85.23

2. {v}85.23 on TAMU +120 to win {v}102.28

"Lines are fundamental elements in geometry and the basis for understanding shapes and space."

LSU -6.5, -240 vs. Missouri +200 T:63.5

Western Michigan +900 vs. Mississippi State -20.5, -1500 T:58.5

Alabama -2.5, -140 vs. Texas A&M +120 T:49.5

Vanderbilt +625 vs. Florida -18, -950 T:54.5

Kentucky +475 vs. Georgia -14.5, -650 T:47.5

Arkansas +350 vs. Old Mist -11.5, -450 T:62.5

The opening credits of season 4 of succession have a water tower in them, getting my hopes up that the Animaniacs will somehow be involved

The Animaniacs from the show: 3-4 (19-24-1); {v}497.27

The Animaniacs convicted of "The Animaniacs Murders": 4-3 (24-19-1); {v}818.22

we are finally into just conference games and I for one couldn't be happier

Florida vs Kentucky -2.5: Extremely difficult to get a read on this one, mostly because I am ignorant and not particularly concerned.

Texas A&M vs Arkansas +6.5: It's been a long time since one of these games that you could call an easy win for either team.

Georgia -14.5 vs Auburn: Absolutely baffling line, implying that TAMU and Georgia are about the same.

Missouri -13.5 vs Vanderbilt: the classic SEC match up we all know and love

LSU -2.5 vs Old Mist: This is the kind of line, like UGA above, that makes me think I've missed something this season.

South Carolina +12.5 vs Tennessee: Beamer Ball Baby

Alabama -14 vs Mississippi State: no

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}YIKES BUDDY{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

Working with a slim {v}659.27. 

Gimme {v}247 on Georgia -650, to win {v}38

Gimme {v}200 on LSU -130, to win {v}153.85

*strutting and fretting my hour upon the stage* ok now you're going hear a tale told by a idiot

here's the sound:

Florida +2.5

TAMU -6.5

Georgia -14.5

Mizzou -13.5

LSU -2.5

Tennessee -12.5

Alabama -14

and here's the fury:

1. {v}177.67 on Georgia -650 to win {v}27.33

2. {v}27.33 on Florida +120 to win {v}32.80

but, honestly, what has this all meant?

"Every line is made up of points, which is the minimum unit."

Florida +120 vs Kentucky -145, -2.5 T:44

Texas A&M -250, -6.5 vs Arkansas T:55.5

Georgia -650, -14.5 vs Auburn +450 T: 47.5

Missouri -550, -13.5 vs Vanderbilt +400 T:56.5

LSU -130, -2.5 vs Old Mist +110 T:66.5

South Carolina +350 vs Tennessee -500, -12.5 T:63.5

Alabama -700, -14 vs Mississippi State +500 T:46.5

I need more MEAT. Don't know why I just typed that.

Brilliant, yet Sincere: 4-5 (16-20-1); {v}659.27

Counting Pennies to Buy Beer: 7-2 (20-16-1); {v}818.22

We can do this. We can pick more football games.

Oh no I almost forgot to do this

But I remembered!

Whew!

Kentucky -14

Auburn +7.5

Alabama -7

Tennessee -20.5

UNC Charlotte +28

LSU -17.5

Mizzou -6.5

UAB +42

South Carolina -6

{v}

1. {v}200.00 on LSU -900 to win {v}22.22

Another day, another dime, another pick, another line

I am in a hurry picking, so this will be my most thoughtless pick of the year so far--guaranteeing success. 

Kentucky -14 vs Vanderbilt 

Auburn +7.5 vs TAMU 

Old Mist vs Alabama -7 

UTSA +20 vs. Tennessee

Charlotte vs Florida -28 

Arkansas vs LSU -17.5 

Memphis vs. Missouri -6.5

UAB +42 vs. Georgia 

Mississippi State +6 vs. South Carolina 

{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}148.50 on Kentucky -550, to win {v}27

Gimme {v}50.60 on Auburn +7.5, to win {v}46

"A line is the path of one point that is moving."

Kentucky -550, -14 vs Vanderbilt +400 T:50.5

Auburn +240 vs TAMU -300, -7.5 T:52.5

Old Mist +210 vs Alabama -275, -7 T:56.5

UTSA +750 vs. Tennessee -1200, -20.5 T:57.5

Charlotte +1800 vs Florida -5000, -28 T49.5

Arkansas +600 vs LSU -900, -17.5 T:55.5

Memphis +190 vs. Missouri -250, -6.5 T:51.5

UAB +8000 vs. Georgia -10000, -42 T:53.5

Mississippi State +200 vs. South Carolina -250, -6 T:50.5

all of 3e can agree: it is incredibly fun to mindlessly repeat "baby billy's bible bonkers" to no one in particular

Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers: 4-6 (12-15-1); {v}682.87

I don't know, like... PJ Masks or something?: 5-5 (13-14-1); {v}796.00

Keep it up, boners!

Tha Captainz Week Three (wow season's really flying by huh) Pix

Spooky! 

Kansas St. -5.5  Vampire

LSU -10  Dracula

South Carolina +27.5  Frankenstein

UL Monroe +36.5  Wolfman

Vanderbilt -4.5  Mummy

Tennessee -7  Swamp Thing

Kentucky -25.5  Zombie

BYU +8.5  Skeleton

Georgia Tech +20.5  Expectations

{v}

1. {v}142.30 on LSU -375 to win {v}37.95

2. {v}20.00 on BYU +275 to win {v}55.00

3. {v}17.95 on Georgia Tech +750 to win {v}134.63

buddy you believe it's week three(e)

Kansas State (-5.5) vs Missouri: Missouri has already let me down, and you know what they say, Missouri loves company. 

LSU (-10) vs Mississippi State: Maybe LSU is still mad? 

South Carolina vs Georgia (-27.5): It's hard to be confident about poor Spencer Rattler in this game

Alabama (-32.5) vs South Florida: Definitely mad Alabama

Louisiana-Monroe vs Texas A&M (-36.5): Did you know that Terry Tot Bowden is the head coach at ULM? Good for him.

Vanderbilt (-4.5) vs. UNLV: wait, at UNLV? 

Tennessee (-7) vs Florida: Is this a low line? Am I crazy? 

Akron vs Kentucky (-25.5): No way Kentucky looks as bad this week, right? 

BYU vs Arkansas (-8.5): man I don't know

Georgia Tech vs Old Mist (-20.5): This seems like the kind of game Lane either completely flops or runs away with.

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

THENICEBOOKIE

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

I'm trying some totals betting this week. 

GIMME {v}65 on LSU vs. Mississippi State going over 53.5, to win {v}59.09

GIMME {v}65 on Vanderbilt at UNLV going under 60.5, to win {v}59.09

GIMME {v}65 on on Tennessee (-250) beating Florida, to win {v}26

"a line is a one-dimension figure, which has length but no width"

Kansas State (-5.5, -200) vs Missouri (+165) T:48.5

LSU (-10, -375) vs Mississippi State (+290) T:53.5

South Carolina (+1800) vs Georgia (-27.5, -10000) T:54.5

Alabama (-32.5, -10000) vs South Florida (+2000) T: 61.5

Louisiana-Monroe (+2000) vs Texas A&M (-36.5, -10000) T:53.5

Vanderbilt (-4.5, -190) vs. UNLV (+155) T:60.5

Tennessee (-7, -250) vs Florida (+200) T:58.5

Akron (+1200) vs Kentucky (-25.5, -3000) T:49.5

BYU (+275) vs Arkansas (-8.5, -350) T:47.5

Georgia Tech (+750) vs Old Mist (-20.5, -1200) T:63.5

Bert & Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pan-Sexual Perverts is a onion thing i think about a lot

PAW Patrol: 3-5-1 (8-9-1); {v}753.78

Regular Dogs Squad: 4-4-1 (8-9-1); {v}721.00

yeeeesh!

It's funny... Starfield rhymes with Garfield... Now some Week 2 Picks

Week 2 reminds me of a story. When the MC Hammer song "2 Legit 2 Quit" came out I thought the lyrics were "2 the jit, 2 the jit 2 quit," believing that "the jit" was a place where MC Hammer was going to go and quit. Now, during this height of popularity we were given a school assignment that was something like "design a pro-reading flyer." Never one to miss out on a fad, I decided to make my flyer "2 the jit, 2 the jit 2 READ" ah see now the jit is a place one goes to curl up with a good book. Great flyer, Tha Captain!

Now, some of my less-stupid classmates pointed out that those are not the lyrics. So, not wanting to seem any more of a fool that I already did, I changed it to "2 legit, 2 legit 2 read" which is absolutely not what you want on a pro-reading flyer. Ah well. Keep at it, Cap'n.

I have no comment on any of these games, apparently.

Woke Forest -10

Ball State +42

Texas A&M -4.5

Old Mist -7.5

Kent State +37.5

Alabama -7

Mizzou -20.5

Arizona +10.5  

Auburn -6.5

{v}

{v}280.00 on Alabama -280 to win {v}100.00

think how this is going to work when Texas, Oklahoma, Florida State, Clemson, Virginia Tech, and Liberty are also in the SEC

Vanderbilt at Wake Forest (-10): Vandy: not great

Ball State at Georgia (-42): Absolutely sickening

Texas A&M at Miami (+4.5): I'm excited about this one because whoever loses is going to feel very bad about themselves.

Old Mist at Tulane (+7.5): I think Lane is taking them seriously, but Tulane is a good football team.

Kent State at Arkansas (-37.5): ok

Texas at Alabama (-7): The funniest outcome would be for Texas to win this game and the rest of September to start 5-0 and get to #3 in the country, then get blasted by Oklahoma and end up losing five of their last seven games.

Middle Tennessee State at Missouri (-20.5): Missouri seems roughly thirty points worse than Alabama, this makes sense. 

Arizona at Mississippi State (-10.5): Mississippi State is constantly playing games that make me say, "Oh, huh. Ok."

Auburn at Cal (+6.5): Verrrrrrry concerned about this one, kids. Feels like a 41-38 kind of game, and not the good way.

{v}{v}{v}THENICEBOOKIE{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}200 on Alabama (-280), to win {v}71.43

Gimme {v}200 on Wake Forest (-410), to win {v}48.78

Gimme {v}100 on Tulane (+275), to win {v}275

Week Two Presented by Poulan Weed-Eater

Vanderbilt (+320) at Wake Forest (-10, -410) T:57.5

Ball State (+8000) at Georgia (-42, -10000) T:52.5 

Texas A&M (-4.5, -205) at Miami (+170) T:51

Old Mist (-7.5, -345) at Tulane (+275) T:64

Kent State (+4000) at Arkansas (-37.5, -30000) T:57.5

Texas (+230) at Alabama (-7, -280)  T:56

Middle Tennessee State (+800) at Missouri (-20.5, -1300) T:49.5

Arizona (+320) at Mississippi State (-10.5, -410) T:60

Auburn (-6.5, -250) at Cal (+205) T:54.5

spooky season is here do not tell me it isn't

My kids picked out toy snakes and this is what they named them.

Whisker (you): 5-3 (5-4); {v}1,005.00

Animal Cracker (me): 4-4 (4-5); {v}1,001.00

Stranger Things. Let's start that this week. Week 1 is officially Stranger Things Week. Also every other week will be that. It's just how we do things 'round here.

oh this got out of hand

Florida +6.5  The native american johnny depp looking ass quarterback guy from utah is not playing. The line is like 4.5 now but both of those are more-than-a-field-goal-less-than-a-td. My point is that I'm very hungry.

Kentucky -25.5  Ball State is just a nickname. Their official name is Testicle State. Folks,

Virginia +27.5  Bronco "Bronck" Mendenhall is turning things around in Charlottesville. Okay, would everyone like to hear a largely pointless story? Don't care; story starting! So in fifth (5th) grade, the students at Thompson Elementary were treated to a trip to our nation's capital: Charlottesville, Va. Just kidding, I know the real capital is Richmond but we went to C-Vegas too. One of the big draws for that par-tick-ular hamlet is the birthplace of founding father (or as I call them the (democracy designing daddies (aka tha triple Ds)) Thomas Haley Jefferson: Monticello (pronounced in an offensively exaggerated Italian accent a-la Inglorious Basterds). Anyways, it's just a big stupid house where a bunch of slaves died but the real treat is that you can see a hill to the southwest. At the top of the hill stands some kind of building. See map below. Apparently the thing at the top of the hill (I know it's a 2D picture but the switchback road clearly suggests some sort of elevation change) is called "Montalto." Now, dear readers, as a naive and impressionable fifth (5th) grader I was told that "graduate students from UVA" lived there. Preposterous, I thought, as I watched a car traverse the winding path to the top. It seemed crazy at the time and it's something that haunts me to this day. The internet tells me that there is a wedding venue up there now and, hell, there may have been in 1993. I imagine the tour guide at Monticello mostly gets questions about where the slaves died and how many slaves died and how did the slaves die rather than "who lives at the top of that distant hill." Anyways, I learned a lot about democracy and how tour guides assume graduate students like living on mountains like dragons and trolls.

Auburn -34.5  Year 3 of the Harsin era or the "Renn-Harsin-ce" (Like Renaissance) as I and most of the people I talk to call it, gets off to a flying start. Minutemen? Yeah one minute is about how long it will take the patented "Har-fense" (Auburn's offense) scores some "Bryans" (points).

New Mexico +38.5  Jimbo probably wants to come out and show everyone how good his "24 points or bust" offense is.

South Carolina +2.5  Ol Head Ball Coach click clack

Alabama -40  Bryce Young is the best QB in cfb. Change my mind.

Florida St. +2.5  *badly mangles the seminole war chant* hiya humma hiya humma heap big football game

{v}

{v}500.00 on Alabama -50000 to win {v}1.00

The last real week one

Next year, the superconference era truly begins. And it's going to suck!

---

Florida (+6.5) at Utah: Utah's quarterback is out. This will probably be wrong!

Ball State at Kentucky (-25.5): Don't know. Don't care! 

Virginia at Tennessee (-27.5): I guess? Seems like Virginia should be a lot better at football than they are. 

UMass at Auburn (-34.5): lmao

New Mexico at TAMU (-38.5): picking a lot of favorites

North Carolina at South Carolina (+2.5): BBB--Beamer ball, baby

Middle Tennessee State at Alabama (-40): I am tired of doing the pick them now

LSU (-2.5,) vs. Florida State: This is a fun one

{v}{v}{v}THENICEBOOKIE{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}500 on Auburn -10000, to win {v}5.

hey buddy, here's some week one lines

We shall recover and glory.

Florida (+220) at Utah (-6.5, -270) T:45.5

Ball State (+1650) at Kentucky (-25.5, -6600) T:49.5

Virginia (+1800) at Tennessee (-27.5, -10000) T:56.5

UMass (+2000) at Auburn (-34.5, -10000) T:52.5

New Mexico (+4000) at TAMU (-38.5, -50000) T:48.5

North Carolina (-2.5, -135) at South Carolina (+115) T:64.5

Middle Tennessee State (+4000) at Alabama (-40, -50000) T:51.5

LSU (-2.5, -140) vs. Florida State (+120) T:56.5

We lost. We don't deserve to keep picking. Let's just see ourselves out, buddy.

Pathetic: 0-1 (0-1); {v}1000.00

Pathetic: 0-1 (0-1); {v}1000.00

Pathetic.

week 0 picks

The season is about to begin (meaning the season for harvesting cotton in the cotton field where I now work). I'm excited to begin the picking process (meaning picking cotton in the cotton field where I now work). I am also really looking forward to bowl season (meaning boll season, when it's time to harvest the cotton in the cotton field where I now work). 

Unrelated, a football pick:

• Hawai'i at Vanderbilt (-17.5) (T:55.5): Hawaii is a dreadful football team even if I do like Timmy Chang coming back

*creed voice* i've created i've created i've created i've created i've created my own prisuuhn

*stranger things voice* i've created i've created i've created i've created i've created my own prisuuhn 

no

ah well what with the wildfires and all you really can only see this going one way. i will figure out what way that is in a little bit.

Vanderbilt -17.5

my analysis of this is that each player on each team deserves a new car. but all the same car. a fleet of shitty corrolas to herald the arrival of the commodores and rainbow warriors.

*creed voice* stranger things

this was AI. this is where we're going.

SEC PICK OFF BEGINS

The usual rules: 

• all picks are against the Vegas line
• starting with {v}1000, must bet at least 25% percent of your bank
• picks are due by 5:00 pm Central Time on Thursdays

The first picks of the year will be great ones:

Hawai'i at Vanderbilt (-17.5) (T:55.5) 

wow!

games

1. Lost for Swords, great

2. Starlynx, it's fine, missed a chance to call it StarFaux

3. TrioJam, good

4. Shogun Showdown, not bad

5. Ten Minutes till Dawn, is there a name for these kinds of games? I like them

heard this playing in an uber recently

Middle name: Toussaint L'Ouverture

Baby shooter games

 I'm not sure why this series reminds me of The Captain, but it does.

1. Gears of Babies

2. The Patriots

3. Wounded Summer

4. The Irish Baby Rifleman

"But then again, no"

there's a new Napoleon movie coming out

It doesn't look great, but this does.

We've got a wham, bam, shang-a-lang

Let 'em say we're crazy I don't care about that

(bubble sound) Pop Up Video: Lady Singer Songwriter Edition

It's a Kaleida Covers Friday

let's have some games

1. Die in the Dungeon - very good

2. Tiny Islands - good

3. Six-Sided Streets - pretty good

4. Flooded Caves - neat

5. Pelagium - good but gets tiring, needs a "win or keep playing?" mechanic

City idle

Great game.

Well, I never been to heaven / But I been to Oklahoma

Been on a 3DN kick lately.

Very compelling kind of a figure. Odd-looking duck, but there's something about his eyes. Hypnotic.

Contractually obligated



RIP Norm, we love you

Don't clash with the Titan who blast with a license

cannot believe the Deep State is moving against the patriot's true president

3/11 3:11 311

Everyone is helpful/ Everyone is kind / On the road to Shambala

better late than never actually no, this was a mistake shoulda just left it alone

 whatever!

Wakan Tanka, tunkasila

not an official scoreboard

it's gonna be a funky new year