Oh, sorry, I didn't see you standing there. I was too focused on picking 42 correct winners for the Bowl Pick Them 2021

It's time to pick some bowl games. All of these are certified. 

Bahamas Bowl: Middle Tennessee vs. Toledo

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 37

This is a good “unusual but not particularly interesting mascot” game to start bowl season. Also a resounding “sure” pick for me. Toledo has a running back named Bryant Roback that looks someone was trying to give a fake name and couldn’t think of a good one while looking at the word “Rocket.”

 

Cure Bowl: Coastal Carolina vs. Northern Illinois

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 42

Pretty boring vs pretty interesting mascot contest. If it were the actual animals, I would give the Huskies a big advantage.

 

Boca Raton Bowl: Appalachian State vs. Western Kentucky

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 2

Hey remember those guys

 

New Mexico Bowl: Fresno State vs. Texas-El Paso

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 41

I assume Pat Hill is still coaching Fresno State. I do not feel comfortable about big lines for bowl games.

 

Independence Bowl: BYU vs. UAB

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 11

BLAZUHS. I would feel good about betting UAB to cover. BYU is going to be disappointed and UAB is playing with the proverbial chip on their shoulder. Not super confident about them actually winning but we’ll see.

 

LendingTree Bowl: Eastern Michigan vs. Libearty

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 39

They’re overrated but not that overrated. It is time for Malik Willis to shine like a star.

 

LA Bowl: Oregon State vs. Utah State

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 32

The Famous Beavers

 

New Orleans Bowl: Louisiana-Lafayette vs. We Are Marshall

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 6

Seems like a good pick. I went back and looked at the oldest blog-hosted Bowl Pick Them, and I referenced Pete Carroll at USC and Brian Kelly at Cincinnati.

 

Myrtle Beach Bowl: Old Dominion vs. Tulsa

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 27

Excellent mascot match-up.

 

Idaho Potato Bowl: Kent State vs. Wyoming  

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 17

POE TAY TOE. Pat Dye coached at Wyoming. They shot those kids at Kent State.

 

Frisco Bowl: San Diego State vs. UTSA

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 3

Ciudad Universitaria is the only school that is allowed to be called the Aztecs. I like it on Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? when Chief says "Greetings, gumshoes!"

 

Armed Forces Bowl: Army vs. Missouri

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 14

Army of One

 

Frisco Football Classic: Miami (Ohio) vs. North Texas

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 24

Looks like I neglected to write a spread for this game, nefarious I am sure. This is the game they just decided to have, which makes me wonder how late I can decide to host a bowl game.

 

Gasparilla Bowl: Central Florida vs. Florida

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 13

lol

 

Hawaii Bowl: Hawaii vs. Memphis

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 4

There are so many bowl games.

 

Camellia Bowl: Ball State vs. Georgia State

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 26

Two Sad Universities

 

Quick Lane Bowl: Nevada vs. Western Michigan

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 16

If I were forced to do this honestly, all of my picks would have a confidence rating of between 3 and 5.

 

Military Bowl: Boston College vs. East Carolina

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 9

As usual, an insult to the troops

 

Birmingham Bowl: Auburn (-3) vs. Houston

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 10

I was fully prepared to pick against My Tigers, but I really like the new OC hire, the first time in a long time that Harsin has done something that gives me confidence about the direction of the program. It’s very surprising to me that Auburn is favored, though. I guess I am committed to this bit.

 

First Responder Bowl: Air Force vs. Louisville

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 5

I am Very Patriotic

 

Liberty Bowl: Mississippi State vs. Texas Tech

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 30

I remember some number of Pick Thems ago saying I thought Leach was better in bowl games, or maybe it was worse in bowl games. Not looking it up. Leach does seem like the vindictive type, though.

 

Holiday Bowl: North Carolina State vs. UCLA

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 15

UCLA is high on my “inexcusable how bad they usually are” rankings.

 

Guaranteed Rate Bowl: Minnesota vs. West Virginia

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 29

A lot of these lines don’t look right. Maybe I did something wrong.

 

Fenway Bowl: SMU vs. Virginia

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 1

It would be cool if SMU got good again.

 

Pinstripe Bowl: Maryland vs. Virginia Tech

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 7

pretty quotidian matchup imo

 

Cheez-It Bowl: Clemson vs. Iowa State

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 31

lol

 

Alamo Bowl: Oklahoma vs. Oregon

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 20

I guess you feel better about Oklahoma’s situation here? Yuck, what a bad end of the season for these programs.

 

Duke's Mayo Bowl: North Carolina vs. South Carolina

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 25

MAYO BOWL. "Hello. Yeah, this Head Ball Coach. He ran a what? Hey, I told you he can really go. Yeeaah, click clack."

 

Music City Bowl: Purdue vs. Tennessee

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 33

How many dying children does Purdue have????

 

Peach Bowl: Michigan State vs. Pittsburgh

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 28

I think Michigan State is actually not that good, but I am usually wrong.

 

Las Vegas Bowl: Arizona State vs. Wisconsin

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 22

I think Wisconsin is my least favorite “not a major villain” school.

 

Gator Bowl: Texas A&M vs. Wake Forest

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 40

I have been wrong about TAMU a lot this year but I feel like they’re gonna Blast Em even without that Calzone quarterback.

 

Sun Bowl: Miami (Fla.) vs. Washington State

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 21

They should ban WSU from bowl games. This has to be among the match-ups furthest 1-A colleges on the continent, right? Regular Washington is further, and I guess both Oregon schools are further.

 

Cotton Bowl: Alabama vs. Cincinnati

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 35

File this one under "I" for "I hate it."

 

Arizona Bowl: Boise State vs. Central Michigan

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 36

take your potato loving scientologist back, you freaks

 

Orange Bowl: Michigan vs. Georgia

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 38

I actually think it’s more likely Cincinnati beats Alabama but I know both Georgia and Alabama will win and I will be unhappy. This is like that Hans Christian Anderson story where the little girl freezes to death hallucinating about her grandmother, except in my case the grandmother is Big Dumb Jim Hardballs.

 

Outback Bowl: Arkansas vs. Penn State

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 8

Transitive property re: Auburn. It’s sad, those boy-hungry perverts taking out their lusts on the poor piggums.

 

Fiesta Bowl: Notre Dame vs. Oklahoma State

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 12

You can throw out the records when these two juggernauts collide

 

Citrus Bowl: Iowa vs. Kentucky

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 19

Kentucky has a better recruiting class than Auburn, awesome. I guess whichever Stoops is at Kentucky is going to stay there. It’s not natural for Kentucky to be good at football.

 

Rose Bowl: Ohio State vs. Utah

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 34

nah, I'm good. thanks though

 

Sugar Bowl: Baylor vs. Mississippi

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 23

Two awful programs staffed by terrible people, hateful. Almost every fan base deserves to lose, but these really deserve it. Fun fact: Baylor University is named after General Thomas University, who despite his name did not invent the University; instead he funded the institution's early years through sales of a novelty sex toy that was sold, to get around censorship and obscenity laws, as an automatic sheep milking machine.

 

Texas Bowl: Kansas State vs. LSU

CONFIDENCE RANKING: 18

Saving the best for last.