happy halloween

done with line facts, they're stupid

Arkansas +185 at Florida -225, -6 T:49.5

Jacksonville State +550 at South Carolina -800, -15.5 T:54.5

UConn +4000  at Tennessee -50000, -35.5 T:53.5

Texas A&M +135 at Old Mist -160, -3 T:53.5 

Missouri +525 at Georgia -750, -15.5 T:54.5

Auburn -500, -12.5 at Vandy +360 T:49.5

Kentucky -165, -3.5 at Missississippi State +135 T:46

LSU +135 at Alabama -165, -3 T:60.5

As Stone Cold Steve Austin Likes To Say...

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?

Professional Wrestling: 1-4 (28-37-1); {v}622.69

The Other Kind of Wrestling: 5-0 (38-27-1); {v}1,114.33

P.U.

ghosts, ghouls, things of that nature

South Carolina  vs Texas A&M -14: Man do I hope South Carolina (the worst team in the SEC now?) wins this. It's not going to happen, but it would give TAMU some serious anxiety. 

Georgia vs Florida +14.5: I'm glad that guy got hurt

Mississippi State +6.5 vs Auburn: 6.5, that reads more like the o/u for this one. Imagine trusting this Auburn team to do literally anything for you. This is going to be bad football, and I feel bad that I'm going to watch the entire thing. 

Tennessee -3.5 vs Kentucky: Tennessee keeps hurting me, let's keep it up

Vanderbilt +24.5 vs Old Mist: Seems like a lot

{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}

{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}

{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}

{v}{v}{v}{v}THE SPOOKIE BOOKIE{v}{v}{v}{v}

Gimme {v}74.80 on MSU-AU going under 43.5 that's right idiots to win {v}68

Gimme {v}74.80 on Florida +14.5 to win {v}68

5 Wrong Picks (Xtra Spooky Edition)

"Boo!" - a ghost (spooky)

"BOOOOOOO!" - people I don't even know while they read these wrong picks. they're throwing garbage at me.

South Carolina +14  Wrong.

Georgia -14.5   Nope. Wrong.

Auburn -6.5  Counting on Will "John" Rogers not playing. Wrong.

Tennessee -3.5  Way wrong.

Old Mist -24.5  Embarrassing. Hopeless. Wrong.

{v}

Time to lose some fake money.

1. {v}300.00 on Old Mist -3000 to win {v}10.00

Wrong.

"a line is a straight one-dimensional figure that does not have a thickness"

South Carolina +425 vs Texas A&M -600, -14 T:53.5

Georgia -650, -14.5 vs Florida +450 T:47.5

Mississippi State +210 vs Auburn -275, -6.5 T:43.5

Tennessee -185, -3.5 vs Kentucky +150 T:51.5

Vanderbilt +1200 vs Old Mist -3000, -24.5 T:63.5

I woke up at 1:15 am and was unable to get back to sleep because I was going over a report that I dreamed up and now that i'm completely awake I remember that it was about chicken fingers and which faucet they are supposed to come out of. it made sense from 1:15 to 5:00 this morning.

Lookin' Spiffy in a Tie: 4-1 (27-33-1); {v}629.49

Lookin' Stupid and Not Making a Rhyme or Doing Anything Clever or Interesting: 4-1 (33-27-1); {v}1,104.33

That's the largest bux lead ever after Week 8. Time to get even stupider.

Who is your favorite rapper, NBA Hall of Fame center, tv analyst, and second-tier pitchman?

Better Late Than Never (Stranger Things Reference)

These all seemed pretty easy. 5-0 fo sho.

Mississippi St. +6

Mizzou -7

Tennessee +8.5

Old Mist -6.5

LSU -30.5

{v}

1. {v}161.45 on Old Mist -250 to win {v}64.58

2. {v}64.58 on Mississippi St. +210 to win {v}135.62

It is getting so spook-dang spooky

Mississippi State +6 vs Arkansas: sure

South Carolina vs Missouri -7: Missouri seems to be peaking

Tennessee +8.5 vs Alabama: Feels like a game that's going to be lower scoring than predicted

Old Mist -6.5 vs Auburn : Look for me at the game; I'll be wearing orange and blue.

Army vs LSU -30.5: ???

{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}

The two games I feel most confident about are Missouri and Old Mist. Since Old Mist is on the road, that means Missourah. 

Gimme {v}151.24 on Missouri -275, to win {v}55

Gimme {v}48.40 on South Carolina vs Missouri going over 59.5, to win {v}44

"Lines are the building blocks of geometry"

Mississippi State +210 vs Arkansas -275, -6 T:48.5

South Carolina +220 vs Missouri -275, -7 T:59.5

Tennessee +275 vs Alabama -350, -8.5 T:49

Old Mist -250, -6.5 vs Auburn +200 T:56.5

Army +2000 vs LSU -15000, -30.5 T:57.5

I'm Dealing With It.

311: 3-3 (23-32-1); {v}618.49

Crazy Town: 1-5 (29-26-1); {v}904.13

When was the last time October 13th was a Friday? The answer is simple: last year and every year before that. Spooky Season.

Some of these seem very wrong!

Georgia -31.5

Alabama -19.5

Florida +2.5

TAMU +3.5

Auburn +11.5

Kentucky -2.5

{v}

1. {v}163.65 on LSU -400 to win {v}40.91

2. {v}40.91 on Florida +110 to win {v}45.00

Spookiness intensifies

I'm now inspired to call my picks "the pearl of the Gulf." These picks are "the pearl of the Gulf."

Georgia vs. Vanderbilt +31.5: Seems like a lot

Arkansas vs Alabama -19.5: Recently learned that the Pit Man's buyout halves if he has a career record below .500. He is currently 21-21, with some tough sledding ahead. You'd think that would make me pick Arkansas, but no. 

Florida +2.5 vs South Carolina: Is it more weird that Florida is an underdog to South Carolina, or more weird that it's not that surprising?

Texas A&M vs Tennessee -3.5: I originally wrote "that pudgy freak better not let me down this time," but I realize that doesn't really clarify which head coach I am talking about.  

Auburn +11.5 vs LSU: I like Auburn coming off an off week, but not enough to pick them. 

Missouri +115 vs Kentucky -140, -2.5 T:52.5: spooky

:(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   :(   

Not working with a lot of bux. 

Gimme {v}126 on Tennessee -3.5 vs. TAMU, to win {v}114.55.

"an infinitely long object with no width, depth, or curvature"

Georgia -20000, -31.5 vs. Vanderbilt +2200 T:55.5

Arkansas +700 vs Alabama -1100, -19.5 T:46.5

Florida +110 vs South Carolina -135, -2.5 T:51.5

Texas A&M +145 vs Tennessee -175, -3.5 T:55.5

Auburn Tigers +310 vs LSU -400, -11.5 T:60.5

Missouri +115 vs Kentucky -140, -2.5 T:52.5

Living La Veed of Loca aka Pobody's Nerfect in New Orleans

I found a pearl in an oyster. Do not bite a pearl.

Bruce Pearl: 1-5 (20-29-1); {v}503.94

Pearl from MST3K: 4-2 (28-21-1); {v}818.22

oh man if it ain't the dang old spooky season

I realized this morning that it would have been funny to include the Red River Shootout on the list of conference games.

LSU vs. Missouri +6.5: Feels like another barnburner

Western Michigan vs. Mississippi State -20.5: who cares

Alabama -2.5 vs. Texas A&M: Not buying it

Vanderbilt +18 vs. Florida: If Florida lost to Vanderbilt, would Louisiana Billy make it to the end of the season? 

Kentucky +14.5 vs. Georgia: I think we're looking at a 20-10 kind of score here. 

Arkansas vs. Old Mist -11.5: It's weird about Sam Pittman, because Arkansas fans seem to love him, but also they seem to think he's not a good coach and want him gone. 

{v}{v}{v}

Betting time: guh! Working with {v}497.27. Time to go dumber.

Gimme {v}300 on Old Mist -450, to win {v}66.67

Gimme {v}60 on Missouri +200, to win {v}120

Picks! Ahhhhh!

Doin' the old "Charlie Robot." All favorites, baby.

LSU -6.5

Mississippi St. -20.5

Alabama -2.5

Florida -18

Georgia -14.5

Old Mist -11.5

{v}

Terrible thing to do here. Reprehensible.

1. {v}119.33 on Alabama -140 to win {v}85.23

2. {v}85.23 on TAMU +120 to win {v}102.28

"Lines are fundamental elements in geometry and the basis for understanding shapes and space."

LSU -6.5, -240 vs. Missouri +200 T:63.5

Western Michigan +900 vs. Mississippi State -20.5, -1500 T:58.5

Alabama -2.5, -140 vs. Texas A&M +120 T:49.5

Vanderbilt +625 vs. Florida -18, -950 T:54.5

Kentucky +475 vs. Georgia -14.5, -650 T:47.5

Arkansas +350 vs. Old Mist -11.5, -450 T:62.5

The opening credits of season 4 of succession have a water tower in them, getting my hopes up that the Animaniacs will somehow be involved

The Animaniacs from the show: 3-4 (19-24-1); {v}497.27

The Animaniacs convicted of "The Animaniacs Murders": 4-3 (24-19-1); {v}818.22