whar we at

Well, there's whar we at.

1. Chelsea - So far, so perfect. However, the annoying habit of conceding the first goal (all three of their goals allowed have been openers) could come back to bite them. And by that I mean they maybe don't win a game at some point. Still looking like a good bet for the title, as long as the African exodus to the Cup of Nations that will occur around the new year doesn't fuck them up.

2. Manchester United - Apparently nobody wins at Burnley, so the loss is excused. Have looked really shaky at times, but nigh-unbeatable at others.

3. Liverpool - Lucas Leiva is no Xabi Alonso, you can put that on my tombstone. Pizza. And write it in jalapenos. That would be delicious.

4. Manchester City - They might actually break the top four after all.

5. Aston Villa - Who loses at home to Wigan? Losers, that's who.

6. Tottenham Hotspur - Oh, you tease. Might be the fourth or fifth best team but will flop around enough to slip into mid table.

7. Arsenal - Fags.

8. Sunderland - They're not really this good. But they shouldn't slip much lower.

9. Burnley - Adorable, simply adorable. Still might get relegated if they can't keep winning these ridiculously unwinnable home games.

10. Stoke City - Hacking, long-balling, and homefieldadvantaging their way to another season of safety. Not pretty, but neither was that ugly guy who always got shit done. Whatever his name was.

11. Birmingham City - YOU DON'T JUST WALK INTO LEGION FIELD AND PUSH B'HAM AROUND.

12. Wolverhampton Wanderers - I thought they would be safe and the results look pretty good so far, but I wouldn't hold out much hope, Black Country hicks.

13. Everton - They'll pick it up.

14. Fulham - Dittoz

15. Wigan Athletic - Probably going to hover about here.

16. West Ham - Can't be this bad.

17. Bolton Wanderers - Might be this bad.

18. Blackburn Rovers - Big Sam is a good manager. They'll be safe but not too safe.

19. Hull City - They're not good.

20. Portsmouth - If the last minute signings can figure out how to not suck, they might actually not finish 20th.