FINISH HIM

oh no

whatever

merry christmas, everyone

because it's the enduring image of this awful football season

we each have 6 favorites (right now) how cute

your pix first, current faves in CAPS

December 19th:
UTAH vs byu
LOUISIANA TECH vs arkansas st

December 26th:
miami vs WASHINGTON ST
nebraska vs UCLA

December 28th:
MINNESOTA vs central michigan

December 30th:
AUBURN vs memphis
louisville vs TEXAS A&M
USC vs wisconsin

December 31st:
clemson vs OKLAHOMA

January 1st:
TENNESSEE vs northwestern

January 2nd:
penn st vs GEORGIA
west virginia vs ARIZONA ST

Winner / Loser

When it comes to bowl games, you just gotta pick them. Whether there's 4 of them or 40, a bowl game you don't pick is a bowl game that everyone loses. Without further ado, these are Tha Captainz Pix. Remember boys and ghouls, the winner (I gahhh rohn teee) is listed first. And I've included Tha Captainz Thoughtz with each one. Just a little slice of my zany brain! Put your own zany brain slices in the comments, I love to interact. Blog at you later, blogbags!!

New Mexico: Arizona / New Mexico

This is going to be a great way to kick off bowl season. Can’t wait to tune in.

Las Vegas: BYU / Utah

Throw out the records when these bitter rivals get together. This hotly contested clash is known as “The Holy War.” Nobody knows why.

Camellia: Appalachian State / Ohio

The boys from Boone are rumbling down the mountain. At the bottom of that mountain? The Cramton Bowl which is the host site of this game.

Cure: Georgia St / San Jose St

“It’s Friday, I’m in love”… with this matchup!

New Orleans: Arkansas State / Louisiana Tech

Love this matchup.

Miami Beach: Western Kentucky / USF

Familiarity breeds contempt for these two schools which are located only 14 miles apart.

Idaho Potato: Utah St / Akron

Called “The Bowden Bowl” because Terry Bowden is one of the coaches, this game will be played inside the hollowed out core of the world’s largest potato.

Boca Raton: Temple / Toledo

Hey bowl guys… teams with names that DON’T start with “T” are eligible to be picked too!

Poinsettia: Boise St / Northern Illinois

Should be a barn-burner.

GoDaddy: Bowling Green / Georgia Southern

GoDaddy? GoGetMe the remote so I can tune in!

Bahamas: Western Michigan / Middle Tennessee

Western Michigan? Middle Tennessee? What’s next Upper Colorado???

Hawaii: Cincinnati / San Diego St

Watch out, it’s the Hawaii bowl.

St Petersburg: UConn / Marshall

Don’t mess with a streak! These ladies continue to amaze and inspire.

Sun: Washington St / Miami(Fl)

Named after Knoxville’s famous Sun Sphere, this game was moved to El Paso in 1974 due to a clerical error.

Heart of Dallas: Washington / Southern Miss

(like the song from the video) Washington… Washington… 6 and 6… This game should be fun!

Pinstripe: Indiana / Duke

More like the PUNstripe bowl, am I right?

Independence: Virginia Tech / Tulsa

Coach Frank Beamer invented Beamerball. Nowadays it’s all Beamerball and it’s all thanks to Coach Frank Beamer, the inventor of Beamerball.

Foster Farms: UCLA / Nebraska

I can’t wait to watch this game.

Military: Navy / Pittsburgh

The University of Pittsburgh’s “Cathedral of Learning” is the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere. There is no oxygen and negligible gravity at the peak of its gothic spire. School tradition dictates that Seniors have to climb it and die.

Quick Lane: Central Michigan / Minnesota

One team just wants it more.

Armed Forces: California / Air Force

Call me Tupac because I’m here to give some “California Lovin!”

Russell Athletic: North Carolina / Baylor

What even is a “Baylor” anyway? Probably some brainiacs know but not me. I’m no brainiac.

Arizona: Colorado St / Nevada

Gaaah! Who can keep up with all these bowls!?

Texas: LSU / Texas Tech

LSU is excited because they have to drive “Les Miles” than if they played this game at the center of the earth.

Birmingham: Memphis / Auburn

Bad.

Belk: Mississippi St / NC St

Drew Belk. Love that guy.

Music City: Texas A&M / Louisville

Two of the founding members of the Big 8, known as “The Original Eight” get together to do a Tennessee Two-Step at the home of the Titans: Titan Stadium.

Holiday: Wisconsin / USC

This was the Christmas bowl until Obummer and the Libtards enforced their fascist, pc, war on Christianity agenda.

Peach: Florida St / Houston

Houston, we have a problem!! A football problem!!

Orange: Oklahoma / Clemson

yikes

Cotton: Alabama / Michigan St

yeeeeesh

Outback: Northwestern / Tennessee

Pretty sure Tennessee’s gonna win.

Citrus: Michigan / Florida

The Citrus Bowl is packed with Vitamin C, which in this case stands for College football.

Fiesta: Ohio St / Notre Dame

Classic.

Rose: Samford / Iowa

Pretty sure Iowa’s gonna win.

Sugar: Old Mist / Oklahoma St

For the winner of this game, victory will truly be “sweet.”

Tax Slayer: Georgia / Penn St

Pretty sure Penn St’s gonna win.

Liberty: Arkansas / Kansas St

Gonna be an old fashioned slugfest.

Alamo: Oregon / TCU

These two teams really know how to toss the rock around the ballyard.

Cactus: Arizona St / WVU

ok

C Picks

New Mexico

Dec. 19           

Arizona vs. New Mexico         

Wildcats -10

Boring!

My pick: ARIZONA

Las Vegas       

Dec. 19           

BYU vs. Utah  

Utes -3

Holy war!

My pick: UTAH

Camellia          

Dec. 19           

Ohio vs. Appalachian State      

Mountaineers -8

See you in Monty, baby!

My pick: APPY STATE

Cure    

Dec. 19           

San Jose State vs. Georgia State          

Spartans -3.5

Georgia State ate my old place of employment. My first pick against Vegas.

My pick: GA ST

New Orleans   

Dec. 19           

Arkansas State vs. La. Tech    

Bulldogs -2

Driskelion!

My pick: LA TECH

Miami Beach   

Dec. 21           

Western Ky. vs. South Florida 

Hilltoppers -3

BSC is the Hilltop.

My pick: WESTERN KY

Potato 

Dec. 22           

Akron vs. Utah State   

Aggies -6.5

Potatoes! Fat little Terry can’t waddle his team to victory this time.

My pick: UTAH STATE

Boca Raton     

Dec. 22           

Temple vs. Toledo       

Owls -1.5

Temple is pretty good and Toledo lost their coach.

My pick: OWLS

Poinsettia         

Dec. 23           

Boise State vs. Northern Illinois           

Broncos -7.5

No. Illinois - Oh, they got this all screwed up. No, Illinois!

My pick: BOISE ST

GoDaddy        

Dec. 23           

Ga. Southern vs. Bowling Green          

Falcons -7.5

Bowling Green is the better team!

My pick: BOWLING GREEN

Bahamas         

Dec. 24           

Middle Tenn. St. vs. W. Mich. 

Broncos -3

I think the Bahamas is more exciting for a team from Michigan.

My pick: WESTERN MICHIGAN

Hawaii 

Dec. 24           

San Diego State vs. Cincinnati  

Bearcats -1.5

Be still my heart.

My pick: YOU KNOW IT’S CINCY TUBBY TIME BABY

St. Pete           

Dec. 26           

Connecticut vs. Marshall          

Thundering Herd -4.5

A second upset pick!

My pick: UCONN

Sun     

Dec. 26           

Miami vs. Washington State     

Cougars -3

I like Mike Leach, but I also feel like his offense is not bowl game friendly. A third upset pick!

My pick: MIAMI

Heart of Dallas

Dec. 26           

Washington vs. Southern Miss

Huskies -8.5

Boring!

My pick: WASHINGTON

Pinstripe          

Dec. 26           

Indiana vs. Duke          

Hooisers -2

Boring! Expect a bunch of basketball references if you watch this.

My pick: INDIANA JONES

Independence  

Dec. 26           

Tulsa vs. Va. Tech       

Hokies -13.5

Win one for the Beamer.

My pick: VA TECH

Foster Farms   

Dec. 26           

UCLA vs. Nebraska   

Bruins -7

Farms bowl? A fourth upset pick!

My pick: NEWBRASKA

Military

Dec. 28           

Pitt vs. Navy    

Midshipmen -3.5

My dad was in the Navy; now he’s in a home.

My pick: NAVEL

Quick Lane     

Dec. 28           

Central Michigan vs. Minnesota           

Golden Gophers -5.5

Boring!

My pick: MINNESOTA

Armed Forces 

Dec. 29           

Cal vs. Air Force         

Golden Bears -7

It seems unfair to me that the Air Force football squad should get to play in a bowl game at least partially named after them.

My pick: CALI

Russell Athletic

Dec. 29           

North Carolina vs. Baylor        

Bears -3

Chizik! A declining Baylor team! A fifth upset pick!

My pick: UNC

Arizona           

Dec. 29           

Nevada vs. Colorado State      

Rams -3

This pick is dedicated to my friend W. and his hero, Brad Lee Van Pelt.

My pick: COLORADO STATE

Texas  

Dec. 29           

LSU vs. Texas Tech    

Tigers -7.5

Coaching for his job!

My pick: LSU

Birmingham     

Dec. 30           

Auburn vs. Memphis    

Aub. Tigers -2.5

Coaching for his job! I cannot believe Auburn is favored in this. I should count this as an upset pick.

My pick: AUBRUN

Belk    

Dec. 30           

N.C. State vs. Mississippi State           

Bulldogs -5.5

Dak attack!

My pick: MSU

Music City       

Dec. 30           

Texas A&M vs. Louisville        

Aggies -2.5

Remember when Sumlin was a hot coaching prospect? A sixth upset pick!

My pick: THA LOU

Holiday           

Dec. 30           

USC vs. Wisconsin      

Trojans -3

New coach, new attitude!

My pick: USC

Peach  

Dec. 31           

Houston vs. Florida State         

Seminoles -7

If I were a gambling man, I’d take FSU and the points.

My pick: FREE SHOES UNIVERSITY

Orange

Dec. 31           

Oklahoma vs. Clemson

Sooners -4

Dude, I don’t know. I feel like this is a proverbial toss-up. Oklahoma did lose to a really bad Texas team. So, an seventh upset pick!

My pick: CLEM, SON

Cotton 

Dec. 31           

Michigan State vs. Alabama     

Tide -9.5

The only chance that Michigan State has is if life is just and fair.

My pick: Alabama

Outback          

Jan. 1  

Northwestern vs. Tennessee    

Vols -8.5

This line seems high, but I still pick the villains.

My pick: TENNESSEE

Citrus  

Jan. 1  

Michigan vs. Florida    

Wolverines -4

Florida is bad. Let me tell you, this is going to be a bad game to watch. More like Hardbore!

My pick: MICHICAN

Fiesta  

Jan. 1  

Notre Dame vs. Ohio State      

Buckeyes -6.5

Here’s a game that can go to heck!

My pick: LUCKEYES

Rose   

Jan. 1  

Stanford vs. Iowa        

Cardinal -6.5

I know people are allegedly excited over this Rose Bowl, inexplicable. At least it will get over relatively quickly.

My pick: SAMFORD

Sugar  

Jan. 1  

Oklahoma State vs. Ole Miss   

Rebels -7

Oklahoma State is a team getting worse, and All Mitts is a team getting better, except the Mississippians seem committed to jumping out of windows. I would not put money on this one, folks.

My pick: OLD MIST

TaxSlayer        

Jan. 2  

Penn State vs. Georgia 

Bulldogs -7

Another stinker of a game between two teams who I don’t like that will be boring to watch. A eighth upset pick!

My pick: PENN STATION

Liberty Bowl   

Jan. 2  

Kansas State vs. Arkansas       

Razorbacks -11

Geee-ross.

My pick: ARKANSAW

Alamo Bowl    

Jan. 2  

Oregon vs. TCU          

Horned Frogs -1

I’ve seen this as a pick’em mostly, but still: ninth upset pick!

My pick: OREGON

Cactus Bowl    

Jan. 2  

West Virginia vs. Arizona State

Sun Devils -1

I like Holgo. A tenth upset pick!

My pick: WAVU