Thursday, December 15, 2016

(to the tune of "Con te partirò"): Time to .... picks some bowls

Gildan New Mexico Bowl
Albuquerque, N.M., Dec. 17
New Mexico (-7) vs. UTSA

Wow, there are a lot of bowls.

Confidence ranking: 22

Las Vegas Bowl
Las Vegas, Dec. 17
Houston (-3) vs. San Diego State

Houston lost a coach! I tend to think that players try to impress a new coach, and there's not going to be a lot of transition difficulty with an internal promotion.

My pick: HOUSTON
Confidence ranking: 11

Camellia Bowl
Montgomery, Ala., Dec. 17
Appalachian State vs. Toledo (-1)

I mean, sure? I saw Appalachian State play in this bowl game last year, and it was quite a hoot.

Confidence ranking: 1

Cure Bowl
Orlando, Dec. 17
UCF (-6) vs. Arkansas State

Tough to take this game seriously. I think some home field advantage will be the difference, but maybe not? A person gambling on this game would have to be a real degenerate.

My pick: UCF
Confidence ranking: 21

New Orleans Bowl
New Orleans, Dec. 17
Southern Mississippi (-3.5) vs. UL Lafayette

I wouldn't say that I've always liked Southern Miss, but I like them more than I like several teams. You Laugh is improving, but Southern Miss returns their starting quarterback. I actually did research on this game, and that why I will get this pick wrong.

My pick: SOU MISS
Confidence ranking: 27

Miami Beach Bowl
Miami, Dec. 19
Central Michigan vs. Tulsa (-11.5)

I saw Central Michigan on replay several times during the botched ending of their win over Oklahoma State. Frankly, what I watched didn't impress me. Did you know that Tulsa has the #6 offense? I didn't!

My pick: TULSA
Confidence ranking: 36

Boca Raton Bowl
Boca Raton, Fla., Dec. 20
Memphis vs. Western Kentucky (-5)

Western Kentucky lost their coach, and I think that I have asserted before my theory that players want to impress a potential new coach. I still don't feel terribly confident about this game, but I do guarantee one thing: it will be a WacKY game!

Confidence ranking: 28

Poinsettia Bowl 
San Diego, Dec. 21
BYU (-8.5) vs. Wyoming

Normally, when the starting quarterback gets hurt at the end of the season, you pick against that team, but BYU had this happen last year and had good results. BYU has Big Mo(mentum) on their side.

My pick: BYU
Confidence ranking: 34

Potato Bowl
Boise, Idaho, Dec. 22
Idaho vs. Colorado State (-13.5)


My pick: Colorado State
Confidence ranking: 39

Bahamas Bowl
Nassau, Bahamas, Dec. 23
Eastern Michigan vs. Old Dominion (-3.5)

Bahamas mon! Old Dominion is 9-3, but against a schedule that would embarrass your fair Captain on Dynasty Mode.

Confidence ranking: 13

Armed Forces Bowl
Fort Worth, Texas, Dec. 23
Louisiana Tech vs. Navy (n/a)

Two teams riding losing streaks meet up in a game featuring institutions which helped win WWII. Scientists at NASA have confirmed that Tim Rattay is still coaching at La Tech.

My pick: LA TECH
Confidence ranking: 24

Dollar General Bowl
Mobile, Ala., Dec. 23
Ohio vs. Troy (-4)

Dolla dolla genrul y'all! That's the slogan I pitched Dollar General; it did not go well. Troy didn't beat Georgia Southern, which is all I want to see Walt sad.

My pick: OHIO
Confidence ranking: 14

Hawai'i Bowl
Honolulu, Dec. 24
Hawaii vs. Middle Tennessee (n/a)

Home field (or should I say ho field) advantage carries the day. Flying to Hawaii to play around in the water is distracting for a kid living in Murphfreezeborough Tennessee.

My pick: HAWAII
Confidence ranking: 12

St. Petersburg Bowl
St. Petersburg, Fla., Dec. 26
Miami (Ohio) vs. Mississippi State (-13)

Thirteen points seems like a big margin, but the outcome seems assured. Ned Starkville seems like a thing, right?

Confidence ranking: 25

Quick Lane Bowl
Detroit, Dec. 26
Maryland (-1.5) vs. Boston College

Former ACC foes match up once again! BC has been smashed by every decent team they played, but fortunately they're playing Maryland. Did you know Maryland's coach is actually named D J Durkin? I cannot stand it.

My pick: BC
Confidence ranking: 2

Camping World Independence Bowl
Shreveport, La., Dec. 26
NC State (-4) vs. Vanderbilt

Dave Durrrrren

My pick: NC STATE
Confidence ranking: 35

Zaxby's Heart of Dallas Bowl
Dallas, Dec. 27
Army vs. North Texas (n/a)

Don't mess with North Texas! That's what I'd say if North Texas hadn't lose seven games this year.

Confidence ranking: 32

Military Bowl
Annapolis, Md., Dec. 27
Temple (-13) vs. Wake Forest

That Tim Rattay tab is still open. Hmm.

Confidence ranking: 38

Holiday Bowl
San Diego, Dec. 27
Minnesota vs. Washington State (-7)

I've never been to Minnesota or Washington state. You know I got my boy Mike Leach in this game, though.

Confidence ranking: 4

Cactus Bowl
Phoenix, Dec. 27
Boise State (-7.5) vs. Baylor

Baylor is turning into a Penn State-esque nightmare right now, aren't they.

Confidence ranking: 37

Pinstripe Bowl
Bronx, N.Y., Dec. 28)
Pittsburgh (-5.5) vs. Northwestern

I had already forgotten that Pitt beat both Clemson and Penn State. Northwestern started off pretty bad but improved, which makes me wonder if this will be a close game.

Confidence ranking: 16

Athletic Bowl
Orlando, Dec. 28
West Virginia vs. Miami (Florida) (-3)

Holgo for life. I think WVU will lose this game, and I don't even care. Did you know they're in the Big 12? And it only has ten teams? What a country.

My pick: WVU
Confidence ranking: 3

Foster Farms Bowl
Santa Clara, Calif., Dec. 28
Indiana vs. Utah (-8)

Utes? What's a Ute? Classic.

My pick: UTAH
Confidence ranking: 17

Texas Bowl
Houston, Dec. 28
Texas A&M vs. Kansas State (n/a)

TAMU is decidedly mediocre, but they have the same record as KSU against a tougher schedule.

My pick: TAMU
Confidence ranking: 20

Birmingham Bowl
Birmingham, Ala., Dec. 29
USF (-10.5) vs. South Carolina

South Florida is good enough they hired their coach away, so, good on them. I like the Charlie Strong hire. South Carolina is trash.

Confidence ranking: 33

Belk Bowl
Charlotte, NC, Dec. 29
Arkansas vs. Virginia Tech (-7)

You can throw out the records when these former band mates get together. When are people going to figure out the Bert Believer isn't a very good coach? I'll tell you when: never, because life isn't fair.

My pick: VA TECH
Confidence ranking: 26

Alamo Bowl
San Antonio, Dec. 29
Oklahoma State vs. Colorado (-3)

Remember the Alamo? You said you'd never forget! The reason I like Colorado in this game: This is kind of a dream season for them, compared to a good but not outstanding year for Oklahoma State. Please, I root for Ralphie (Ralphy? not looking it up) to go insane and gore someone every time.

My pick: BUFFS
Confidence ranking: 19

Liberty Bowl
Memphis, TN, Dec. 30
Georgia (-1) vs. TCU

Georgia sucks and I hate them.

My pick: TCU
Confidence ranking: 23

Sun Bowl
El Paso, Texas, Dec. 30
Stanford (-3.5) vs. North Carolina

Might as well be bowling on the sun! I think bowl games don't favor speedy teams. Plus, I like to write it "Samford" when I pick. I still don't know which team is in which ACC division, and at this point I am proud not to know.

My pick: SAMFORD
Confidence ranking: 15

Music City Bowl
Nashville, Tenn., Dec. 30
Nebraska vs. Tennessee (-3)

This game will be "music" to your ears if you like trash teams playing bad football.

Confidence ranking: 5

Arizona Bowl
Tucson, Ariz., Dec. 30
South Alabama vs. Air Force (-13.5)

This is another game where the line looks too big, but the favorite should still win.

Confidence ranking: 31

Orange Bowl
Miami Gardens, Fla., Dec. 30
Michigan (-7) vs. Florida State

Absolutely not.

Confidence ranking: 30

Citrus Bowl
Orlando, Dec. 31
LSU vs. Louisville (n/a)

Da Coach O is already tiring. That said! Louisville has less talent overall, and I think they're a team on the decline.  LSU will play for their new coach. They play this game in Camping World Stadium.

My pick: LSU
Confidence ranking: 7

TaxSlayer Bowl
Jacksonville, Fla., Dec. 31
Georgia Tech (-3.5) vs. Kentucky

pretty quotidian matchup imo

My pick: GA TECH
Confidence ranking: 6

Peach Bowl
Atlanta, Dec. 31
Washington vs. Alabama (-17)

Never in doubt, my friends.

My pick: ALABAMA
Confidence ranking: 40

Fiesta Bowl
Glendale, Ariz., Dec. 31
Ohio State (-3) vs. Clemson

Ohio State, I guess? I do not feel confident about this game. Ohio State has played a much tougher schedule, but they haven't looked that great doing it. I don't know. I dislike both of these teams, I hate this.

Confidence ranking: 9

Outback Bowl
Tampa, Fla., Jan. 2
Florida (-2.5) vs. Iowa

This pick is solely based on the idea that Florida will be healthy-ish.

My pick: FLORIDA
Confidence ranking: 8

Cotton Bowl
Arlington, Texas, Jan. 2
Western Michigan vs. Wisconsin (-7.5)

Nonsense. Western Michigan having that dream season and everything, but who is the best team they beat? Northwestern?

Confidence ranking: 29

Rose Bowl Game
Pasadena, Calif., Jan. 2
USC (-7) vs. Penn State

The only thing that makes me questionable about this pick is that Joe Paterno did not take action to stop repeated incidents of child molestation.

My pick: USC
Confidence ranking: 18

Allstate Sugar Bowl
New Orleans, Jan. 2
Auburn vs. Oklahoma (-4)

Auburn will definitely not win this game.

My pick: AUBURN
Confidence ranking: 10

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