Tuesday, October 30, 2018

boss

The Previous Nine Weeks Have All Led To This. That's Right It's Week Ten, Baby

charles, finder of the malaysia plane: 3-2 (33-32)
captain, who lost it in the first place: 2-3 (35-30)

by royal decree, this week's games shall all be played upon fields of football in the length of 100 yards (as the jackdaw flies).

Texas A&M @ Auburn (-4.5)

South Carolina @ Old Mist (Pick Em!) I think the line opened with Old Mist as a slight favorite, but it swung to SC -1. Now I'm seeing some as even, so I'm going with that since I don't think we've ever done it before.

Georgia (-9.5) @ Kentucky

Missouri @ Florida (-6)

UNC-Charlotte @ Tennessee (-21)

La Tech @ Mississippi State (-23)

ALABAMA (-14.5) @ LSU



mooo-lahhh i got you all in check (buster rhymes)

charles, the guy who took down the texas tower sniper: $711.61
captain, the guy who incited him to violence in the first place:  *places pinky finger next to mouth* one thooouusand dollars


Thursday, October 25, 2018

*to the tune of don't speak* ninth week... i know just what i'm pickin

whoa nelly, these are some TIGHT ones


Arkansas +1  Arkansas is really good. Only I know this.

Georgia -7  remember when we saw two squirrels doing it outside our window before graduation

Missouri -7  Where do Missouri football players get their water? From the Faurot faucet. Thank you.

TAMU +2.5  TAMU can do, but Sartre is smarter.

Tennessee +7.5  The only ten I see? Red Dead Redemption 2's score in the new IGN review.



Tha Captain gets confused when his horses aren't in the running.


1) $74.30 on TAMU straight up at +140 to win $104.02

2) $74.31 on Tennessee straight up at +260 to win $193.21

3) $126.39 on Georgia straight up at -260 to win $48.61

Wick Nine Peeks

Arkansas (+1) I got burned by the Commodores last week, but sticking with it.

Georgia (-7) Georgia is mad about losing and covers pretty easy, or Florida will win, are my predictions.

Kentucky (+7) free money

TAMU (+2.5) naturally, needs no explanation

Tennessee (+7.5) guh

$$$$$$$$

I got $675.25 and am looking at a rough week. I have to spend $168.81 Is it time to go big? Do something bold, something flashy? Sort of!

$100 on TAMU-Mississississippi State to go over 43.5 points
$150 on Kentucky to cover (-7)


Monday, October 22, 2018

Week Nein

American Pharaoh: 4-2 (33-27)
American Idiot: 0-6 (30-30)

Not ... not a great week for your boy C, not even mediocre (MMFR voice), but another solid outing for W.

Several teams off this week and lots of tight lines.

Vanderbilt (-1) at Arkansas
Florida v Georgia (-7)
Kentucky at Missouri (-7)
TAMU at Mississippi State (-2.5)
Tennessee at South Carolina (-7.5)

__________________

"the nice bookie" needs no corrections

Captain Fat Stacks: $1100
Charlie Fat Snacks: $655.25

Thursday, October 18, 2018

would you say eight is ........ enough

Tulsa (+7) If Auburn played Arkansas right now, Auburn would lose, but that doesn't mean Arkansas can cover against Tulsa.

Old Mist (+4) I liked -3 a lot better than -4, which is a weird thing to say.

Tennessee (+28.5) Seems like a big line? Who the heck knows. I'm expecting a nutty 56-35 kind of game.

Memphis (+9.5) nah

Mississiisssipppsiispiss State (+6.5). thanks fella. I'm officially predicting a two-point LSU victory.

Kentucky (-11.5) Finally picking a favorite! I'm less pro-Kentucky than I am anti-Vandy.

$$$$$$$$$$$$

"the lice bookie"

Playin' with $769.80, bettin' at least $192.45, lookin' for a good week to get out of the red.

$150 on Kentucky to cover -11.5 against Vanderbilt
$50 on Alabama-Tennessee to go over 56.5
$10 on Tennessee to win, to win $200

Week Eight season's really flyin by huh

duuuurrrrrrrrrr


Arkansas -7  I don't know why I still think Arkansas is good.

Old Mist +4  *labored breathing*

Alabama -28.5  Oh god

Memphis +9.5   Sure. Picked this to even out my faves/dogs.

LSU -6.5  As often happens, this doesn't look right when I type it out but whatever.

Vanderbilt +11.5  Game will be played at Kroger Field. C'mon man.



Imma sling this 12 hundy (really I'm only slinging $1,199.31 but when you're rich it don't matter)

1) $1,083.83 on tua and the boys straight up at -7000. Gimme dat $15.48 baby.

2) Tha Captainz Upset Special: oh you know I had to do it $115.48 on America's Oldest Mist straight up at +170. Lemme hold $196.32 baby.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Week Eight (8): lines lines everywhere some lines

Week Eight. Wherein I not only have to do everyone else's job at work, I also have to do it on the blog.

WoodChuck: 3-3 (30-24)
CaptainSuck: 6-0 (29-25) perfection... it's never quite good enough...

To my smooth brain, these all look like great games.

Tulsa @ Arkansas (-7)

Auburn (-4) @ Old Mist

Alabama (-28.5) @ Tennessee

Memphis @ Missouri (-9.5)

Mississiisssipppsiispiss State {writing it like that because you do} @ LSU (-6.5)

Vanderbilt @ Kentucky (-11.5)



The Nice Wookie:

Charbacca: $769.80
Captain Solo: $1200.00 (still excited about how I did that)

Friday, October 12, 2018

lucky number Stefan, that would be a good nickname for someone named Stefan or maybe a Steven but not quite as good

Florida (-7) I feel like Vanderbilt underplays against equal or superior opponents

Tennessee (+15.5) gettin' verrrrrrrrry nervous about this one. If Auburn is going to be remotely good this year, they smash the 45.5 o/u, but they aren't so they won't.

Georgia (-7.5) n- n- n- n- n- nightmare

Texas A&M (-2) sure

Missouri (+28) that's a big ole line!

Old Mist (-6.5) This is a tough pick, I went for the one that's worse for Auburn in terms of the Rebs getting better

$$$$$$$$$$$$

For "the nice bookie" I have only $627.08, so betting at least $156.77. I'm excited to be betting $12 on the SEC title game.

$100 on Florida to cover against Vanderbilt
$50 on Georgia-LSU to go over 50.5 points
$7 on Auburn-Tennessee to go over 45.5 points

Give a Hoot; Make Some Picks

Please do no stare directly at my picks.

Going to put use some images that have, apparently, been on this blog before. It should be pretty clear how each is tied to the respective game. I'm just kidding, they're random.


Florida -7 


Tennessee +15.5


LSU +7.5


Texas A&M -2


Alabama -28


Arkansas +6.5



I love to "splash the cash."

1) $1,182.42 on the Alabama Crimson Football Tide to "win straight up" at -7000. I stand to win $16.89.

2) $88.36 on my "Upset Special" of the week: Arkansas to win straight up at +220. I "stand" to win $194.39.

Eventually this has to come back and "bite me in the ass."

Tuesday, October 09, 2018

Seventh Heaven (tv show)

Another exciting week of football picking action.

Charles: 3-4 (27-21)
Cap: 4-3 (23-25)


Florida (-7) @ Vanderbilt

Tennessee @ Auburn (-15.5)

Georgia (-7.5) @ LSU

Texas A&M (-2) @ South Carolina

Missouri @ Alabama (-28)

Old Mist (-6.5) @ Arkansas



The Very Nice Bookie:
Charles: $627.08
Cap: $1,271.47

Monday, October 08, 2018

Thursday, October 04, 2018

WELCOME TO SPOOKY SEASON

Weak sex. heh heh.


Missouri +1  I've turned on South Carolina.

Arkansas +35  hahaha why

LSU -2.5  mmmm seems wrong now that I typed it

Old Mist -22.5  deadline's comin up gotta say something about this game!!! gaah. I'm sweating bullets here!!! ack!! the clock is ticking so loud in my head its shakin my fillings, man!!! AAAAGGGHHHH. I'm just kidding about most of that, but I am about to leave work. hello future, I am typing this at 4:07!!! ok lets publish this bitch.

TAMU -5.5  Going to continue to doubt the cats until they change the name of their stadium. Kroger Field. c'mon man

Vandy +26.5  *goofy face emoji* I'm a dumb idiot *plummeting stocks emoji*

Mississippi State +3.5  this feels like the breaking point in one of those classic auburn disaster seasons. luckily I will be in a public place (Mexican bistro) as this unfolds.



Because it was so fun I'm going to do something fun again. I have $1205.65 (not real!) and I will responsibly hold back the traditional 69 cents "just in case."

1) $1,175.79 on those stinky Georgia bull dogs to win straight up at +5000. I stand to win $23.52.
2) $29.17 on those stinky Mississippi State bull dogs to win straight up at +145. I stand to win $42.30.

woof woof! those bull dogs are barking!

pumpkin spice season picks!

South Carolina (-1) seems right (3 tablespoons cinnamon)
Arkansas (+35) It looks like Arkansas is getting better? This is not a nice bookie game. (2 teaspoons ginger)
LSU (-2.5) I was real hopped up to take the under on this no matter what, but ~43 is so low! gonna do it anyway (2 teaspoons nutmeg)
Ole Miss (-22.5) sure (1.5 teaspoon allspice)
Kentucky (+5.5) I BELIEVE. WILDCATS (1.5 teaspoon cloves)
Vandy (+26.5) man I don't know (mix it up really nice)
Auburn (-3.5) I can't wait for Auburn to lose this game 6-4 (now you've got some pumpkin spice)

---------

"the nice bookie":  $850.08 means betting at least $212.52.

$60 on LSU-Florida to go under $43.5
$110 on LSU straight up over Florida, to win $135
$20 on ULM-Old Mist to go under 76
$33 on Kentucky straight up over TAMU, to win $55.50

Tuesday, October 02, 2018

week six take pix

A whiz in the sheets: 3-4 (18-23)
A dog dropping beats: 6-1 (24-17)

ack!

Missouri at South Carolina (-1)
Alabama (-35) at Arkansas
LSU (-2.5) at Florida
UL-Monroe at Ole Miss (-22.5)
Kentucky at TAMU (-5.5)
Vandy at Georgia (-26.5)
Auburn (-3.5) at Mississississippi State

ack! ack!

"the nice bookie":

future Biff: $1205.65
current Stiff: $850.08