*Staind voice* its been a whaaaahl

It's been a while since I did a score board.

I concede

MIAMI (FL) V OHIO ST (-10): sure

OREGON V TEXAS TECH (+1.5): wildcard! 

ALABAMA V INDIANA (-7): the good times

OLD MIST V GEORGIA (-7): the bad times

I concede!

Didn't wanna have to do it but I did.

Ohio St -10  In this context, thatsa lotta points, but Ohio St. is way better than Miami. And also almost everyone else.

Oregon -1.5  Oregon is my dark horse semifinal loser.

Alabama +7  I mean they're playing Indiana for pete's sake.

Old Mist +7  Old Mist had Georgia on the ropes and let them escape the ropes. I think this is a sailing metaphor? Perhaps it has to do with the boy scouts?

get a load of these freaks

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

QUARTERFINAL SPREADS

MIAMI (FL) V OHIO ST (-10)

OREGON (-1.5) V TEXAS TECH

ALABAMA V INDIANA (-7)

OLD MIST V GEORGIA (-7)

my little soda pop

 

And it was fun, fun, fun when we were laughing

The new Superman was pretty good.

The clown with the frown drivin' down to the sidewalk fair

It's Bowl Season

(Strong Bad voice) I said confidence picks! Confidence!

Jeesh, guy wouldn't know bowl picks if it came up and bit him in the face.

(that happened once)

Regular Bowls with Confidence

LA Bowl: Boise State vs. Washington (33): Big line, seems right, a good start. (snorting sounds) OK, let's look at the odds for these football games.

Salute to Veterans Bowl: Troy vs. Jacksonville State (6): Game of the Year

Cure Bowl: Old Dominion vs. South Florida (23): I'm gonna take my Bulls against O D U / They're gonna pass 'til they can't no more

68 Ventures Bowl: Louisiana (11) vs. Delaware: In a contest of dead politicians, Huey Long versus Joe Biden in a match for the ages

Xbox Bowl: Arkansas State vs. Missouri State (7): Feels like this should be half of a bracket with like West Georgia and the University of Minnesota Duluth on the other side. 

Myrtle Beach Bowl: Kennesaw State (18) vs. Western Michigan: Looks like I forgot to pick one! 18 confidence points it is. Do me right, Owls (weird how often I say that).

Gasparilla Bowl: Memphis (20) vs. NC State: It's cool that Arkansas hired a coach all the Memphis fans wanted to get fired. Anyway, NC State stinks. 

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Washington State (9) vs. Utah State: I rarely get to say this, but: Future Conference Mates Collide

Boca Raton Bowl: Louisville (13) vs. Toledo: These cities are further apart than you would think

New Orleans Bowl: Western Kentucky (17) vs. Southern Miss: you're telling me that none of these are regular season conference games? i'm supposed to believe that?

Frisco Bowl: UNLV (27) vs. Ohio: UNLV would be a cool rapper name. Unlove. 

Hawai'i Bowl: Cal vs. Hawai'i (16): Bringing good cheer to young and old, meek and the bold: Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song. With joyful ring, all caroling, one seems to hear words of good cheer from everywhere, filling the air. Oh, how they pound, raising the sound, o'er hill and dale, telling their tale. Gaily they ring, while people sing songs of good cheer: The Hawaii Bowl is here. 

GameAbove Sports Bowl: Central Michigan vs. Northwestern (25): And they came down and they sat at his feet and they listened to him, and he spake, Beloved, I say unto thee, behold! behold! the GameAbove Sports Bowl. 

Rate Bowl: New Mexico vs. Minnesota (10): Did you know John Denver was born in Roswell, New Mexico? Oh, you did. Cool, cool. Oh, gotta go? Seems pretty soon, I was thinking we'd hang a while. Oh, alright, hey, take it easy. See you later. Wait, did you get my texts?

First Responder Bowl: FIU vs. UTSA (30): FIUTSA

Military Bowl: Pitt (8) vs. East Carolina: Coupla low-rent looking programs. Cheap looking. Unthinkable.

Pinstripe Bowl: Clemson vs. Penn State (22): Pinstripe, more like prison stripes with these two teams, am I right? Alt: The Disappointment Bowl. 

Fenway Bowl: UConn (24) vs. Army: UConn won nine games! They lost to Delaware but beat Duke, wild stuff. Although, I may have assumed this was a women's basketball game.

Pop-Tarts Bowl: BYU (12) vs. Georgia Tech: polygamy vs polynomials 

Arizona Bowl: Miami (OH) vs. Fresno State (21): Fresno Steaks

New Mexico Bowl: UNT (28) vs. San Diego State: An actually cool match up, neato. Every so often you lift up in this Hell World and see a little bit of light. 

Gator Bowl: Missouri (26) vs. Virginia: Despite my opposition to Missouri being in the SEC and indeed my opposition to pretty much the entire conference, I must root against Virginia. 

Texas Bowl: LSU (3) vs. Houston: The winner of this game will get a six-month exemption to pollute their wetlands and other local ecosystems even more with oil and gas extraction, and the team ahead at halftime will insert six cubic liters of noxious particulates into the air system of an elementary school of their choosing.

Birmingham Bowl: Georgia Southern vs. App State (5): didn't we go to this game 

Independence Bowl: Coastal Carolina vs. Louisiana Tech (32): Chanticleers is a good name. The announcement for their new coach looks extremely Hulu Limited Series.

Music City Bowl: Tennessee (29) vs. Illinois: Tennessee / Tennessee / Tennessee / Tennessee / Tennessee

Alamo Bowl: Southern Cal (31) vs. TCU: Couple of rich dickhead schools. They made a whole bowl game out of the bad guys from a 1980s college sex comedy. 

ReliaQuest Bowl: Iowa (14) vs. Vanderbilt: I think Iowa has a little something for 'em, and I am still not sold on Coach Bland Bane. 

Sun Bowl: Arizona State (19) vs. Duke: dilly dilly

Citrus Bowl: Texas (15) vs. Michigan: some, uh, stuff happening up in there Michigan / Remember when Texas was about to join the Pac-12? Or the Big 10? Those were both better timelines, I think.  

Las Vegas Bowl: Nebraska vs. Utah (35): Las Vegas, great spot for these piggish prudish fanbases. 

Armed Forces Bowl: Texas State (34) vs. Rice: This is a big line, should be bigger. Texas State is pretty good. Rice is also a food[citation needed]. 

Liberty Bowl: Navy vs. Cincinnati (1): sick

Duke's Mayo Bowl: Mississippi State (2) vs. Wake Forest: Go Wake, go break. 

Holiday Bowl: Arizona vs. SMU (4): Truly, saving the best for last.

College Football Playoff First Round Games: 

No. 9 Alabama at No. 8 Oklahoma (1.5): They should call the Alabama-Oklahoma rivalry game the Charlie Kirk Classic, because it will never get old. 

No. 10 Miami (Fla.) (+3.5) at No. 7 Texas A&M: TAMU is flagging. 

No. 20 Tulane (+17.5) at No. 6 Old Mist (-17.5): This should be a conference game

No. 24 James Madison at No. 5 Oregon (-21.5): I still have the chance to work "A Napier wit" into a conversation at some point, that's a plus. Hey, here's a free Gameday sign idea:

JERKING
ME
URGENTLY

We're still out here making bowl picks in this economy

In no particular order.

LA

Washington : 34 / Boise St.

Classified as a Grass- and Poison-type Pokémon, Bulbasaur is one of three starter Pokémon players are able to select at the game's beginning. It is a quadrupedal green creature resembling a dinosaur, with a large plant bulb on its back.

Montgomery

Jacksonville St. : 7 / Troy

It ain't Jacksonville, Florida! Also, Troy is the one in ancient Asia Minor.

Cure

USF : 29 / Old Dominion

An orange, dragon-like Pokémon, Charizard is the evolved form of Charmeleon and the final evolution of Charmander.

Mobile

Delaware : 2 / UL-Lafayette

Classified as a Water-type Pokémon, Blastoise is a large blue bipedal turtle Pokémon, featuring a pair of water cannons protruding from its shell above its shoulders and three claws on its hands and feet. 

XBOX (The Gamer's Bowl)

Mizzou St. : 3 / Arkansas St.

Classified as an Electric-type Pokémon, Raichu is a large orange mouse with a lightning bolt-shaped tail, and yellow sacs on its cheeks which can generate large amounts of electricity.

Myrtle Beach

Kennesaw St. : 8 / WMU

*to the tune of the opening of total eclipse of the heart* myrtle beach

Gasparilla

NC St. : 28 / Memphis

*to the tune of my sharona* gasparilla

Potato

Wazzu : 10 / Utah St.

*to the tune of tequila by the apaches* potato

Boca Raton

Louisville : 32 / Toledo

Louisville was a fun city! A big ol' bat. pizza. we parked under an overpass. no notes.

New Orleans

WKU : 22 / Southern Mist

Southern Mist definitely a Winn Dixie brand soft drink

Frisco

UNLV : 23 / Ohio (OH)

I'm proud of two things: drinking two 40 ounce beers in 5 minutes and writing Ohio (OH) on the line above this. Also I came back later to add: *to the tune of HOT TO GO* UNLV Ohio

Hawaii

Cal : 16 / Hawaii

Cal Hawaii is the name of a Private Eye in the worst movie you can imagine.

Detroit

Northwestern : 27 / CMU

I mentioned how there were no obvious High-Conf (high confidence) picks this year. Exhibit A is how I have Northwestern at 27 in a game where they're not playing Auburn.

Rate

Minnesota : 21 / New Mexico

How would I "Rate" these two? ha well I have been to an airport in Minnesota when I was a baby and I first drove a car in New Mexico (at White Sands!). So, they're both trash.

First Responder

UTSA : 31 / FIU

Let me tell you about a first responder who always answers your call. (me)

Military

Pitt : 25 / ECU

The real first responders.

Pinstripe

Clemson : 26 / Penn St.

Embarrassing.

Fenway

Army : 6 / UConn

More like, there's no F'n way I'm missing this game! I love the troops! Also, I like Army.

Pop-Tarts

BYU : 9 / Georgia Tech

Instead of talking about pop-tarts, we should be talking about how much pop farts! Pop is our fish.

Arizona

Fresno St. : 20 / Miami (OH)

Fresno should do commercials that are like "Fres... Yes!" I would go there if I already lived on campus and was going there.

New Mexico

SDSU : 14 / North Texas

*Uncle Baby Billy Voice* Hold up now..

Gator

Mizzou : 5 / Virginia

*Paul Simon Voice* Diamonds in the ends of their zones

Texas

LSU : 15 / Houston

When was the last time LSU didn't play in the Texas Bowl is my "when was the last time you saw the sun" from Dark City.

Birmingham

Georgia Southern : 17 / Appalachian St.

Too soon. (I am referring to seeing the words Birmingham and Southern together.) (because our school closed because of chicanery)

Independence

La Tech : 24 / Coastal Carolina

Just wrote a trilogy of goofball comedies set at a fictional "Coastal Dakota University".

Music City

Illinois : 12 / Tennessee

These states actually touch. Look at any map.

Alamo

USC : 30 / TCU

Get out of the way you stupid dipshit, it's the goddamn alamo bowl

Outback

Iowa : 13 / Vanderbilt

Crikey! 

Sun

Arizona St. : 19 / Duke

*Uncle Baby Billy Voice* This game's got more devils than a Talladega County whorehouse.

Citrus

Michigan : 11 / Texas

Helmet Game! Because both of these teams wear helmets.

Las Vegas

Utah : 35 / Nebraska

Las Vegas finally got some potentially non-Mormon Utahans to come spin the wheel.

Armed Forces

Texas St. : 33 / Rice

Nothing to say about this! I forgot I was putting pokemon descriptions on them earlier. I should have done that here! Ack!

Li-Bear-Ty

Navy : 18 / Cincinnati

They should call it the Li-Boat-y Bowl. On account of Cincinnati being on a river. Also Memphis is on a river. Also, Annapolis is on Chesapeake Bay. Those are the reasons.

Duke's Mayo

Mississippi St. : 1 / Wake Forest

They should change their name every year to reflect the current ACC Champion. Based on current realignment trends, I'm very much looking forward to next year's St. Bonaventure's Mayo bowl between Wake Forest and also Wake Forest.

Holiday

Arizona : 4 / SMU

They don't explicitly say it, but the Holiday they're talking about is Ramadan.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alabama +1.5

Miami (FL) +3.5

Tulane +17.5

Oregon -21.5

it's bowl pick them 2025

For your well-being and moral certitude, we have three contests for the 2025 Bowl Season.

-Straight Up Bowl Pick Them

-Confidence Rankings, with a higher number indicating more confidence

-ATS Playoff Pick Them (per-pick value increasing by one each round)

Picks for the Bowl Pick Them/Confidence Ranking and the first round of the Playoff Pick Them are due by Friday, December 12, at 5:00 pm. Govern yourself accordingly.

BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25

LA Bowl: Boise State vs. Washington

Salute to Veterans Bowl: Troy vs. Jacksonville State

Cure Bowl: Old Dominion vs. South Florida

68 Ventures Bowl: Louisiana vs. Delaware

Xbox Bowl: Arkansas State vs. Missouri State

Myrtle Beach Bowl: Kennesaw State vs. Western Michigan

Gasparilla Bowl: Memphis vs. NC State

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Washington State vs. Utah State

Boca Raton Bowl: Louisville vs. Toledo

New Orleans Bowl: Western Kentucky vs. Southern Miss

Frisco Bowl: UNLV vs. Ohio

Hawai'i Bowl: Cal vs. Hawai'i

GameAbove Sports Bowl: Central Michigan vs. Northwestern

Rate Bowl: New Mexico vs. Minnesota 

First Responder Bowl: FIU vs. UTSA

Military Bowl: Pitt vs. East Carolina

Pinstripe Bowl: Clemson vs. Penn State

Fenway Bowl: UConn vs. Army

Pop-Tarts Bowl: BYU vs. Georgia Tech

Arizona Bowl: Miami (OH) vs. Fresno State

New Mexico Bowl: UNT vs. San Diego State

Gator Bowl: Missouri vs. Virginia 

Texas Bowl: LSU vs. Houston

Birmingham Bowl: Georgia Southern vs. App State

Independence Bowl: Coastal Carolina vs. Louisiana Tech 

Music City Bowl: Tennessee vs. Illinois

Alamo Bowl: Southern Cal vs. TCU

ReliaQuest Bowl: Iowa vs. Vanderbilt

Sun Bowl: Arizona State vs. Duke

Citrus Bowl: Texas vs. Michigan

Las Vegas Bowl: Nebraska vs. Utah

Armed Forces Bowl: Texas State vs. Rice

Liberty Bowl: Navy vs. Cincinnati

Duke's Mayo Bowl: Mississippi State vs. Wake Forest

Holiday Bowl: Arizona vs. SMU

BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25BPT25

College Football Playoff First Round Games: 

No. 9 Alabama at No. 8 Oklahoma (1.5) 

No. 10 Miami (Fla.) at No. 7 Texas A&M (-3.5)

No. 20 Tulane at No. 6 Ole Miss (-17.5)

No. 24 James Madison at No. 5 Oregon (-21.5)

*Weird gargling noises*

 

We Did It

We did.

1st Place: 8-2 (71-42)

2nd Place: 6-4 (59-54)