Jeesh, guy wouldn't know bowl picks if it came up and bit him in the face.
(that happened once)
Regular Bowls with Confidence
LA Bowl: Boise State vs. Washington (33): Big line, seems right, a good start. (snorting sounds) OK, let's look at the odds for these football games.
Salute to Veterans Bowl: Troy vs. Jacksonville State (6): Game of the Year
Cure Bowl: Old Dominion vs. South Florida (23): I'm gonna take my Bulls against O D U / They're gonna pass 'til they can't no more
68 Ventures Bowl: Louisiana (11) vs. Delaware: In a contest of dead politicians, Huey Long versus Joe Biden in a match for the ages
Xbox Bowl: Arkansas State vs. Missouri State (7): Feels like this should be half of a bracket with like West Georgia and the University of Minnesota Duluth on the other side.
Myrtle Beach Bowl: Kennesaw State (18) vs. Western Michigan: Looks like I forgot to pick one! 18 confidence points it is. Do me right, Owls (weird how often I say that).
Gasparilla Bowl: Memphis (20) vs. NC State: It's cool that Arkansas hired a coach all the Memphis fans wanted to get fired. Anyway, NC State stinks.
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Washington State (9) vs. Utah State: I rarely get to say this, but: Future Conference Mates Collide
Boca Raton Bowl: Louisville (13) vs. Toledo: These cities are further apart than you would think
New Orleans Bowl: Western Kentucky (17) vs. Southern Miss: you're telling me that none of these are regular season conference games? i'm supposed to believe that?
Frisco Bowl: UNLV (27) vs. Ohio: UNLV would be a cool rapper name. Unlove.
Hawai'i Bowl: Cal vs. Hawai'i (16): Bringing good cheer to young and old, meek and the bold: Ding, dong, ding, dong, that is their song. With joyful ring, all caroling, one seems to hear words of good cheer from everywhere, filling the air. Oh, how they pound, raising the sound, o'er hill and dale, telling their tale. Gaily they ring, while people sing songs of good cheer: The Hawaii Bowl is here.
GameAbove Sports Bowl: Central Michigan vs. Northwestern (25): And they came down and they sat at his feet and they listened to him, and he spake, Beloved, I say unto thee, behold! behold! the GameAbove Sports Bowl.
Rate Bowl: New Mexico vs. Minnesota (10): Did you know John Denver was born in Roswell, New Mexico? Oh, you did. Cool, cool. Oh, gotta go? Seems pretty soon, I was thinking we'd hang a while. Oh, alright, hey, take it easy. See you later. Wait, did you get my texts?
First Responder Bowl: FIU vs. UTSA (30): FIUTSA
Military Bowl: Pitt (8) vs. East Carolina: Coupla low-rent looking programs. Cheap looking. Unthinkable.
Pinstripe Bowl: Clemson vs. Penn State (22): Pinstripe, more like prison stripes with these two teams, am I right? Alt: The Disappointment Bowl.
Fenway Bowl: UConn (24) vs. Army: UConn won nine games! They lost to Delaware but beat Duke, wild stuff. Although, I may have assumed this was a women's basketball game.
Pop-Tarts Bowl: BYU (12) vs. Georgia Tech: polygamy vs polynomials
Arizona Bowl: Miami (OH) vs. Fresno State (21): Fresno Steaks
New Mexico Bowl: UNT (28) vs. San Diego State: An actually cool match up, neato. Every so often you lift up in this Hell World and see a little bit of light.
Gator Bowl: Missouri (26) vs. Virginia: Despite my opposition to Missouri being in the SEC and indeed my opposition to pretty much the entire conference, I must root against Virginia.
Texas Bowl: LSU (3) vs. Houston: The winner of this game will get a six-month exemption to pollute their wetlands and other local ecosystems even more with oil and gas extraction, and the team ahead at halftime will insert six cubic liters of noxious particulates into the air system of an elementary school of their choosing.
Birmingham Bowl: Georgia Southern vs. App State (5): didn't we go to this game
Independence Bowl: Coastal Carolina vs. Louisiana Tech (32): Chanticleers is a good name. The announcement for their new coach looks extremely Hulu Limited Series.
Music City Bowl: Tennessee (29) vs. Illinois: Tennessee / Tennessee / Tennessee / Tennessee / Tennessee
Alamo Bowl: Southern Cal (31) vs. TCU: Couple of rich dickhead schools. They made a whole bowl game out of the bad guys from a 1980s college sex comedy.
ReliaQuest Bowl: Iowa (14) vs. Vanderbilt: I think Iowa has a little something for 'em, and I am still not sold on Coach Bland Bane.
Sun Bowl: Arizona State (19) vs. Duke: dilly dilly
Citrus Bowl: Texas (15) vs. Michigan: some, uh, stuff happening up in there Michigan / Remember when Texas was about to join the Pac-12? Or the Big 10? Those were both better timelines, I think.
Las Vegas Bowl: Nebraska vs. Utah (35): Las Vegas, great spot for these piggish prudish fanbases.
Armed Forces Bowl: Texas State (34) vs. Rice: This is a big line, should be bigger. Texas State is pretty good. Rice is also a food[citation needed].
Liberty Bowl: Navy vs. Cincinnati (1): sick
Duke's Mayo Bowl: Mississippi State (2) vs. Wake Forest: Go Wake, go break.
Holiday Bowl: Arizona vs. SMU (4): Truly, saving the best for last.
No. 10 Miami (Fla.) (+3.5) at No. 7 Texas A&M: TAMU is flagging.
No. 20 Tulane (+17.5) at No. 6 Old Mist (-17.5): This should be a conference game
No. 24 James Madison at No. 5 Oregon (-21.5): I still have the chance to work "A Napier wit" into a conversation at some point, that's a plus. Hey, here's a free Gameday sign idea:
JERKING
ME
URGENTLY
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