We're still out here making bowl picks in this economy

In no particular order.

LA

Washington : 34 / Boise St.

Classified as a Grass- and Poison-type Pokémon, Bulbasaur is one of three starter Pokémon players are able to select at the game's beginning. It is a quadrupedal green creature resembling a dinosaur, with a large plant bulb on its back.

Montgomery

Jacksonville St. : 7 / Troy

It ain't Jacksonville, Florida! Also, Troy is the one in ancient Asia Minor.

Cure

USF : 29 / Old Dominion

An orange, dragon-like Pokémon, Charizard is the evolved form of Charmeleon and the final evolution of Charmander.

Mobile

Delaware : 2 / UL-Lafayette

Classified as a Water-type Pokémon, Blastoise is a large blue bipedal turtle Pokémon, featuring a pair of water cannons protruding from its shell above its shoulders and three claws on its hands and feet. 

XBOX (The Gamer's Bowl)

Mizzou St. : 3 / Arkansas St.

Classified as an Electric-type Pokémon, Raichu is a large orange mouse with a lightning bolt-shaped tail, and yellow sacs on its cheeks which can generate large amounts of electricity.

Myrtle Beach

Kennesaw St. : 8 / WMU

*to the tune of the opening of total eclipse of the heart* myrtle beach

Gasparilla

NC St. : 28 / Memphis

*to the tune of my sharona* gasparilla

Potato

Wazzu : 10 / Utah St.

*to the tune of tequila by the apaches* potato

Boca Raton

Louisville : 32 / Toledo

Louisville was a fun city! A big ol' bat. pizza. we parked under an overpass. no notes.

New Orleans

WKU : 22 / Southern Mist

Southern Mist definitely a Winn Dixie brand soft drink

Frisco

UNLV : 23 / Ohio (OH)

I'm proud of two things: drinking two 40 ounce beers in 5 minutes and writing Ohio (OH) on the line above this. Also I came back later to add: *to the tune of HOT TO GO* UNLV Ohio

Hawaii

Cal : 16 / Hawaii

Cal Hawaii is the name of a Private Eye in the worst movie you can imagine.

Detroit

Northwestern : 27 / CMU

I mentioned how there were no obvious High-Conf (high confidence) picks this year. Exhibit A is how I have Northwestern at 27 in a game where they're not playing Auburn.

Rate

Minnesota : 21 / New Mexico

How would I "Rate" these two? ha well I have been to an airport in Minnesota when I was a baby and I first drove a car in New Mexico (at White Sands!). So, they're both trash.

First Responder

UTSA : 31 / FIU

Let me tell you about a first responder who always answers your call. (me)

Military

Pitt : 25 / ECU

The real first responders.

Pinstripe

Clemson : 26 / Penn St.

Embarrassing.

Fenway

Army : 6 / UConn

More like, there's no F'n way I'm missing this game! I love the troops! Also, I like Army.

Pop-Tarts

BYU : 9 / Georgia Tech

Instead of talking about pop-tarts, we should be talking about how much pop farts! Pop is our fish.

Arizona

Fresno St. : 20 / Miami (OH)

Fresno should do commercials that are like "Fres... Yes!" I would go there if I already lived on campus and was going there.

New Mexico

SDSU : 14 / North Texas

*Uncle Baby Billy Voice* Hold up now..

Gator

Mizzou : 5 / Virginia

*Paul Simon Voice* Diamonds in the ends of their zones

Texas

LSU : 15 / Houston

When was the last time LSU didn't play in the Texas Bowl is my "when was the last time you saw the sun" from Dark City.

Birmingham

Georgia Southern : 17 / Appalachian St.

Too soon. (I am referring to seeing the words Birmingham and Southern together.) (because our school closed because of chicanery)

Independence

La Tech : 24 / Coastal Carolina

Just wrote a trilogy of goofball comedies set at a fictional "Coastal Dakota University".

Music City

Illinois : 12 / Tennessee

These states actually touch. Look at any map.

Alamo

USC : 30 / TCU

Get out of the way you stupid dipshit, it's the goddamn alamo bowl

Outback

Iowa : 13 / Vanderbilt

Crikey! 

Sun

Arizona St. : 19 / Duke

*Uncle Baby Billy Voice* This game's got more devils than a Talladega County whorehouse.

Citrus

Michigan : 11 / Texas

Helmet Game! Because both of these teams wear helmets.

Las Vegas

Utah : 35 / Nebraska

Las Vegas finally got some potentially non-Mormon Utahans to come spin the wheel.

Armed Forces

Texas St. : 33 / Rice

Nothing to say about this! I forgot I was putting pokemon descriptions on them earlier. I should have done that here! Ack!

Li-Bear-Ty

Navy : 18 / Cincinnati

They should call it the Li-Boat-y Bowl. On account of Cincinnati being on a river. Also Memphis is on a river. Also, Annapolis is on Chesapeake Bay. Those are the reasons.

Duke's Mayo

Mississippi St. : 1 / Wake Forest

They should change their name every year to reflect the current ACC Champion. Based on current realignment trends, I'm very much looking forward to next year's St. Bonaventure's Mayo bowl between Wake Forest and also Wake Forest.

Holiday

Arizona : 4 / SMU

They don't explicitly say it, but the Holiday they're talking about is Ramadan.

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Alabama +1.5

Miami (FL) +3.5

Tulane +17.5

Oregon -21.5