Crest for Success: the SKEET sixteen day two

And that's how babies are made. Round of sixteen: OUT.

Atletico 2 - 2 Porto
Madrid Leg: 2 - 2
Porto Leg: 0 - 0
Porto wins on away goals.


Two teams that don't really belong here. Welcome to the world of unseeded draws.




Lyon 3 - 6 Barcelona
Lyon Leg: 1 - 1
Barcelona Leg: 2 - 5

Barca's ridiculously handsome front line brought the ruckus. Nobody is going to beat them.




Internazionale 0 - 2 Manchester United
Milan Leg: 0 - 0
Manchester Leg: 0 - 2


"Profligate" would actually begin to describe Manchester United in front of goal in this series. They still won. They're pretty good.




Arsenal 1 - 1 Roma
London Leg: 1 - 0
Rome Leg: 0 - 1
Arsenal wins 7 - 6 on penalties


The one English I would have liked to have seen shit a brick almost did.




You want your final eight? I'VE GOT YOUR FINAL EIGHT RIGHT HERE! Also too, they're in a scientifically computed order of likelihood of winning it all:
Barcelona
Manchester United
Liverpool
Bayern
Chelsea
Villareal
Arsenal
Porto

Later, losers.

BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!

This book costs $135:

"Product Description
THIS IS A HOLYSPIRIT MANUSCRIPT BOOK: WHEN YOU BUY THIS BOOK YOU WILL BE READING A HOLYSPIRIT DIRECTED BOOK FROM GOD; & *CHRIST JESUS. THIS BOOK IS GODS HOLYSPIRIT VOICE: THE CALL FOR ALL CHRISTIANS & CHURCHES TO REPENT FROM ALL THEIR SINS: EVEN FROM FALSE CHRIST TEACHINGS. BIRTH CONTROL SINS HAVE CURSE THE CHURCH WITH SPIRITUAL WHOREDOM & FALSE WORSHIP. RESULTING IN THE PERSECUTIONS: AGAINST THE HOLY PEOPLE. THIS BOOK MAY BE REVISED: BECAUSE OF COMPUTER DICTATORS: MANY WORDS IN THIS BOOK: MADE HAVE BEEN CHANGED: TO>>DISCREDIT: THE AUTHOR. BUT IN TRUTH: I AM A HOLYSPIRIT CHOSEN ANOINTED DISCIPLE FOR GOD & CHRIST JESUS. EVEN FOR JEWS, MUSLIMS & GENTILE SINNERS. MANY PEOPLE WILL LEARN HOW TO> BECOME REAL BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN: THROUGH THIS HOLYSPIRIT BOOK & THROUGH THE PROTECTION & SUPPORT OF MY HOLYSPIRIT LIFE!! JOHN 3 & 15. ALL NATIONS WILL OVER COME THE SINS OF BIRTH CONTROL. *BECAUSE HOLY DOMINIONSHIP IS ONE OF THE FIRST COMMANDMENT IN GENESIS 1;26-31. ALL BELIEVERS: WILL COME TO A HOLY VOW OF REPENTANCE: THROUGH GODS RESTORATION & THROUGH GODS ADOPTION VOWS. YES!! THE KINGDOM OF GOD & HEAVEN!! IS AT HAND!! FOR ALL WHO BELIEVE IN THE ONE CREATOR GOD & CHRIST JESUS OUR HOLYSPIRIT ETERNAL LIFE SAVIOR: SURELY YOUR NAMES WILL BE WRITTEN IN THE LAMBS BOOK OF LIFE!! *WHEN YOU SUPPORT & PROTECT MY HOLYSPIRIT LIFE. WE ARE BRANCHES >JOHN 15 MY WEBSITE: http://groups.msn.com/ChristianPowerHealthProsperityAndSoulREMEMBER: GOD HAS MADE ME A HOLYSPIRIT VOICE FOR THE BRIDE OF GOD & CHRIST JESUS IN 1996 GOD TOLD ME TO TEACH THE GOSPEL ON CABLE TELEVISION IN TUCSON ARIZONA. *CONCERNING THE SINS OF THE CHURCHES: & CONCERNING THE>LACK OF GIVING TO THE POOR & ORPHANS: CHRISTIAN CHURCHES SHOULD: BUILD MORE:> WATER WELLS: & BUILD LOW INCOME HOUSINGS: MATTHEW 25 & ISAIAH 61"

You can buy it! The product reviews are pretty good too. I learned about it here.

Me too -- five hundred of 'em

Remember when this came out? It's one of my favorite commercials ever. Especially the first 10 seconds or so.

Free throws

Basketball in the United States has changed in myriad ways over the decades, from flat-footed set shots to dunks, from crotch-hugging uniforms to baggy knee-length shorts, from the dominance of American players to the recent infusion of international stars.

But one thing has remained remarkably constant: the rate at which players make free throws.

Since the mid-1960s, college men’s players have made about 69 percent of free throws, the unguarded 15-foot, 1-point shot awarded after a foul. In 1965, the rate was 69 percent. This season, as teams scramble for bids to the N.C.A.A. tournament, it was 68.8. It has dropped as low as 67.1 but never topped 70.

In the National Basketball Association, the average has been roughly 75 percent for more than 50 years. Players in college women’s basketball and the W.N.B.A. reached similar plateaus — about equal to the men — and stuck there.

"For Free Throws, Fifty Years of Practice Is No Help"

Because the NCAA tournament is stupid.

...I've said it once, I've said it 4,096 times.


NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams

GRAVITY BEAVER

"It may have been a train that struck you down, but it was gravity that pulled you inexorably towards the earth."

-Ancient Chinese Proverb

Crest for Success: the SKEET sixteen day one.

Four in, four to go. Just walking around Auburn, I can feel the excitement as a thick film on my neck.


Real Madrid 0 - 5 Liverpool
Madrid Leg: 0 - 1
Liverpool Leg: 0 - 4
There's only one word for the way Liverpool came out tonight: Gangbusters. Or maybe Murderdome. Either way, they deservedly pummeled the Spanish champions and gave Scousers more reason to wonder why this team hasn't won the English title in almost twenty years.


Villareal 3 - 2 Panathinaikos
Villareal Leg: 1 - 1
Athens Leg: 2 - 1


The luck of the Greeks runs out. I would describe it as 'win sausage,' but this isn't the sausage you want.




Chelsea 3 - 2 Juventus
London Leg: 1 - 0
Turin Leg: 2 - 2


No team from London has ever won the Champions League. The pride of London? The Monarchs, 1991 World Bowl Champions. Which leads me to the BIRMINGHAM FIRE. But let's focus.



Sporting 1 - 12 Bayern
Lisbon Leg: 0 - 5
Munich Leg: 1 - 7



Thump.

nationalized Citibank

The New F***ing Citibank - watch more funny videos

What's weird to me is that, as this video's existence demonstrates, everyone realizes as soon as the government gets their hands on something, it goes to pot. Yet, had Bush or Obama or whoever done the correct thing (sit back and let this recession ride itself out), the same people would be freaking out because the government refused to "do something."

The lesson is, you're always being watched

The best of Google Street View.

From Geekologie.

Two sites

As I've mentioned before, one thing that strikes me about the internet is that there is a website for everything. With that in mind:


Cake wrecks, "when professional cakes go horribly, hilariously wrong."


Passive Aggressive Notes, "painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over."

3E Fears

...the flying orcas and the kids having fun, not the other stuff.

Who drinks a carton of milk they found on the floor?

You can't spell EPIC FAIL without the EPL: Arsenal

Location: North London.

Nickname: The Gunners. Also: Gooners.

Stately, Non-Commercial Stadium Name: NON-COMMERCIAL FAIL. The Emirates Stadium (after the Dubai based airline.) Sellouts.

Crest: Boom!

Season So Far: A little below their standards, but still very much alive for the FA cup and the Champions League. Domestically, sitting in fifth place and in danger of missing out on next year's Champions League. They've had injury issues and they sold players before the season in a seemingly random fashion leaving them thin at key areas.

General vibe to a casual American fan: Gay. So gay. The word 'arse' is in their name. Their coach is a Frenchy French weiner. Most of their players are raging dickwads. Secret: I'm biased!

Blinders

I'm not a sentimental guy, but the horse trying to drink and not being able to made me tear up a little.

3E party flyers: old school.

The Date: Seven years gone. March 8, 2002 (that's pre-3E, history majors.)

The Flyer:
The Party: Delta Mu Chi, the pseudo-forerunner of 3E, was known to throw a party or two. A surprising number of RAs showed up. For the uninitiated, The handsome devils gettin' x-ed up there are Filly and Scrotzilla, 3e's blonde bombshells.

3E approves

A little midnight edamame?

WHAT?

UNLICENSED! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!

Tiger and pig

From "Let's Be Friends," which features "Touching photos of unusual animal friendships."

You can't spell EPIC FAIL without the EPL: Everton

Location: Liverpool, Merseyside. Literally across a park from their eponymous neighbors.

Nickname: The Toffees.

Stately, Non-Commercial Stadium Name: Goodison Park.

Crest: There it is. Somebody squirted toothpaste on a pointy wang. I think the Latin there says something about Millsaps so fuck that.

Season So Far: It's Everton. They're in the FA cup quarterfinals and will finish in the top 6 in the EPL. Outside of the top four, they're the model of consistency.

General vibe to a casual American fan: The OTHER team from Liverpool. Also, Tim Howard: by far the best American player in the EPL right now. Every single season they're a lock to finish somewhere between 4th and 7th. A workmanlike, blue collar (literally!) team that isn't flashy but consistently beats the teams it should and gives hell to the top four.

Movies I should be ashamed of owning.

WARNING: LAME.