what's that jerking? oh, it's my knee!

So, this just happened. Here's how (between hearty gulps of MGD) Tha Captain reacted.

• How on earth did the English teams avoid all three of Real Madrid, Internazionale, and Juventus? Chicanery.
• Speaking of the English teams, Manchester United and Arsenal should sashay to the knockout stages. Liverpool and Chelsea have a eurotrash discoteque fight on their hands.
  
• Group G: baby soft.
• Most interesting games: Milan v Real Madrid and Barcelona v Inter because they're all huge teams. Bayern v Maccabi Haifa because it's always a cracker when Germans and Jews get together.
  
• I don't know how else they would do it, but going by UEFA coefficients makes for an uneven draw. Sevilla is a 1 seed but Real Madrid is a 2 and Wolfsburg is a 4? Nonsense. Alkmaar is a 2 but Fiorentina and Atletico are 3's? Infuriating!
  
• In depth prevues, coming soon, blogfans!