Kentucky -550, -14 vs Vanderbilt +400 T:50.5
Auburn +240 vs TAMU -300, -7.5 T:52.5
Old Mist +210 vs Alabama -275, -7 T:56.5
UTSA +750 vs. Tennessee -1200, -20.5 T:57.5
Charlotte +1800 vs Florida -5000, -28 T49.5
Arkansas +600 vs LSU -900, -17.5 T:55.5
Memphis +190 vs. Missouri -250, -6.5 T:51.5
UAB +8000 vs. Georgia -10000, -42 T:53.5
Mississippi State +200 vs. South Carolina -250, -6 T:50.5
Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers: 4-6 (12-15-1); {v}682.87
I don't know, like... PJ Masks or something?: 5-5 (13-14-1); {v}796.00
Keep it up, boners!
Spooky!
Kansas St. -5.5 Vampire
LSU -10 Dracula
South Carolina +27.5 Frankenstein
UL Monroe +36.5 Wolfman
Vanderbilt -4.5 Mummy
Tennessee -7 Swamp Thing
Kentucky -25.5 Zombie
BYU +8.5 Skeleton
Georgia Tech +20.5 Expectations
{v}
1. {v}142.30 on LSU -375 to win {v}37.95
2. {v}20.00 on BYU +275 to win {v}55.00
3. {v}17.95 on Georgia Tech +750 to win {v}134.63
Kansas State (-5.5) vs Missouri: Missouri has already let me down, and you know what they say, Missouri loves company.
LSU (-10) vs Mississippi State: Maybe LSU is still mad?
South Carolina vs Georgia (-27.5): It's hard to be confident about poor Spencer Rattler in this game
Alabama (-32.5) vs South Florida: Definitely mad Alabama
Louisiana-Monroe vs Texas A&M (-36.5): Did you know that Terry Tot Bowden is the head coach at ULM? Good for him.
Vanderbilt (-4.5) vs. UNLV: wait, at UNLV?
Tennessee (-7) vs Florida: Is this a low line? Am I crazy?
Akron vs Kentucky (-25.5): No way Kentucky looks as bad this week, right?
BYU vs Arkansas (-8.5): man I don't know
Georgia Tech vs Old Mist (-20.5): This seems like the kind of game Lane either completely flops or runs away with.
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
THENICEBOOKIE
{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}{v}
I'm trying some totals betting this week.
GIMME {v}65 on LSU vs. Mississippi State going over 53.5, to win {v}59.09
GIMME {v}65 on Vanderbilt at UNLV going under 60.5, to win {v}59.09
GIMME {v}65 on on Tennessee (-250) beating Florida, to win {v}26
Kansas State (-5.5, -200) vs Missouri (+165) T:48.5
LSU (-10, -375) vs Mississippi State (+290) T:53.5
South Carolina (+1800) vs Georgia (-27.5, -10000) T:54.5
Alabama (-32.5, -10000) vs South Florida (+2000) T: 61.5
Louisiana-Monroe (+2000) vs Texas A&M (-36.5, -10000) T:53.5
Vanderbilt (-4.5, -190) vs. UNLV (+155) T:60.5
Tennessee (-7, -250) vs Florida (+200) T:58.5
Akron (+1200) vs Kentucky (-25.5, -3000) T:49.5
BYU (+275) vs Arkansas (-8.5, -350) T:47.5
Georgia Tech (+750) vs Old Mist (-20.5, -1200) T:63.5
PAW Patrol: 3-5-1 (8-9-1); {v}753.78
Regular Dogs Squad: 4-4-1 (8-9-1); {v}721.00
yeeeesh!
Week 2 reminds me of a story. When the MC Hammer song "2 Legit 2 Quit" came out I thought the lyrics were "2 the jit, 2 the jit 2 quit," believing that "the jit" was a place where MC Hammer was going to go and quit. Now, during this height of popularity we were given a school assignment that was something like "design a pro-reading flyer." Never one to miss out on a fad, I decided to make my flyer "2 the jit, 2 the jit 2 READ" ah see now the jit is a place one goes to curl up with a good book. Great flyer, Tha Captain!
Now, some of my less-stupid classmates pointed out that those are not the lyrics. So, not wanting to seem any more of a fool that I already did, I changed it to "2 legit, 2 legit 2 read" which is absolutely not what you want on a pro-reading flyer. Ah well. Keep at it, Cap'n.
I have no comment on any of these games, apparently.
Woke Forest -10
Ball State +42
Texas A&M -4.5
Kent State +37.5
Alabama -7
Mizzou -20.5
Arizona +10.5
Auburn -6.5
{v}
{v}280.00 on Alabama -280 to win {v}100.00
Vanderbilt at Wake Forest (-10): Vandy: not great
Ball State at Georgia (-42): Absolutely sickening
Texas A&M at Miami (+4.5): I'm excited about this one because whoever loses is going to feel very bad about themselves.
Old Mist at Tulane (+7.5): I think Lane is taking them seriously, but Tulane is a good football team.
Kent State at Arkansas (-37.5): ok
Texas at Alabama (-7): The funniest outcome would be for Texas to win this game and the rest of September to start 5-0 and get to #3 in the country, then get blasted by Oklahoma and end up losing five of their last seven games.
Middle Tennessee State at Missouri (-20.5): Missouri seems roughly thirty points worse than Alabama, this makes sense.
Arizona at Mississippi State (-10.5): Mississippi State is constantly playing games that make me say, "Oh, huh. Ok."
Auburn at Cal (+6.5): Verrrrrrry concerned about this one, kids. Feels like a 41-38 kind of game, and not the good way.
{v}{v}{v}THENICEBOOKIE{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}200 on Alabama (-280), to win {v}71.43
Gimme {v}200 on Wake Forest (-410), to win {v}48.78
Gimme {v}100 on Tulane (+275), to win {v}275
Vanderbilt (+320) at Wake Forest (-10, -410) T:57.5
Ball State (+8000) at Georgia (-42, -10000) T:52.5
Texas A&M (-4.5, -205) at Miami (+170) T:51
Kent State (+4000) at Arkansas (-37.5, -30000) T:57.5
Texas (+230) at Alabama (-7, -280) T:56
Middle Tennessee State (+800) at Missouri (-20.5, -1300) T:49.5
Arizona (+320) at Mississippi State (-10.5, -410) T:60
Auburn (-6.5, -250) at Cal (+205) T:54.5
My kids picked out toy snakes and this is what they named them.
Whisker (you): 5-3 (5-4); {v}1,005.00
Animal Cracker (me): 4-4 (4-5); {v}1,001.00
oh this got out of hand
Florida +6.5 The native american johnny depp looking ass quarterback guy from utah is not playing. The line is like 4.5 now but both of those are more-than-a-field-goal-less-than-a-td. My point is that I'm very hungry.
Kentucky -25.5 Ball State is just a nickname. Their official name is Testicle State. Folks,
Virginia +27.5 Bronco "Bronck" Mendenhall is turning things around in Charlottesville. Okay, would everyone like to hear a largely pointless story? Don't care; story starting! So in fifth (5th) grade, the students at Thompson Elementary were treated to a trip to our nation's capital: Charlottesville, Va. Just kidding, I know the real capital is Richmond but we went to C-Vegas too. One of the big draws for that par-tick-ular hamlet is the birthplace of founding father (or as I call them the (democracy designing daddies (aka tha triple Ds)) Thomas Haley Jefferson: Monticello (pronounced in an offensively exaggerated Italian accent a-la Inglorious Basterds). Anyways, it's just a big stupid house where a bunch of slaves died but the real treat is that you can see a hill to the southwest. At the top of the hill stands some kind of building. See map below. Apparently the thing at the top of the hill (I know it's a 2D picture but the switchback road clearly suggests some sort of elevation change) is called "Montalto." Now, dear readers, as a naive and impressionable fifth (5th) grader I was told that "graduate students from UVA" lived there. Preposterous, I thought, as I watched a car traverse the winding path to the top. It seemed crazy at the time and it's something that haunts me to this day. The internet tells me that there is a wedding venue up there now and, hell, there may have been in 1993. I imagine the tour guide at Monticello mostly gets questions about where the slaves died and how many slaves died and how did the slaves die rather than "who lives at the top of that distant hill." Anyways, I learned a lot about democracy and how tour guides assume graduate students like living on mountains like dragons and trolls.
Auburn -34.5 Year 3 of the Harsin era or the "Renn-Harsin-ce" (Like Renaissance) as I and most of the people I talk to call it, gets off to a flying start. Minutemen? Yeah one minute is about how long it will take the patented "Har-fense" (Auburn's offense) scores some "Bryans" (points).
New Mexico +38.5 Jimbo probably wants to come out and show everyone how good his "24 points or bust" offense is.
South Carolina +2.5 Ol Head Ball Coach click clack
Alabama -40 Bryce Young is the best QB in cfb. Change my mind.
Florida St. +2.5 *badly mangles the seminole war chant* hiya humma hiya humma heap big football game
{v}
{v}500.00 on Alabama -50000 to win {v}1.00
Next year, the superconference era truly begins. And it's going to suck!
---
Florida (+6.5) at Utah: Utah's quarterback is out. This will probably be wrong!
Ball State at Kentucky (-25.5): Don't know. Don't care!
Virginia at Tennessee (-27.5): I guess? Seems like Virginia should be a lot better at football than they are.
UMass at Auburn (-34.5): lmao
New Mexico at TAMU (-38.5): picking a lot of favorites
North Carolina at South Carolina (+2.5): BBB--Beamer ball, baby
Middle Tennessee State at Alabama (-40): I am tired of doing the pick them now
LSU (-2.5,) vs. Florida State: This is a fun one
{v}{v}{v}THENICEBOOKIE{v}{v}{v}
Gimme {v}500 on Auburn -10000, to win {v}5.
We shall recover and glory.
Florida (+220) at Utah (-6.5, -270) T:45.5
Ball State (+1650) at Kentucky (-25.5, -6600) T:49.5
Virginia (+1800) at Tennessee (-27.5, -10000) T:56.5
UMass (+2000) at Auburn (-34.5, -10000) T:52.5
New Mexico (+4000) at TAMU (-38.5, -50000) T:48.5
North Carolina (-2.5, -135) at South Carolina (+115) T:64.5
Middle Tennessee State (+4000) at Alabama (-40, -50000) T:51.5
LSU (-2.5, -140) vs. Florida State (+120) T:56.5
Pathetic: 0-1 (0-1); {v}1000.00
Pathetic: 0-1 (0-1); {v}1000.00
Pathetic.
The season is about to begin (meaning the season for harvesting cotton in the cotton field where I now work). I'm excited to begin the picking process (meaning picking cotton in the cotton field where I now work). I am also really looking forward to bowl season (meaning boll season, when it's time to harvest the cotton in the cotton field where I now work).
Unrelated, a football pick:
*stranger things voice* i've created i've created i've created i've created i've created my own prisuuhn
no
ah well what with the wildfires and all you really can only see this going one way. i will figure out what way that is in a little bit.
Vanderbilt -17.5
my analysis of this is that each player on each team deserves a new car. but all the same car. a fleet of shitty corrolas to herald the arrival of the commodores and rainbow warriors.
*creed voice* stranger things
this was AI. this is where we're going.
The usual rules:
1. Lost for Swords, great
2. Starlynx, it's fine, missed a chance to call it StarFaux
3. TrioJam, good
4. Shogun Showdown, not bad
5. Ten Minutes till Dawn, is there a name for these kinds of games? I like them
I'm not sure why this series reminds me of The Captain, but it does.
2. The Patriots
