Crazies face-off

Reigning Crazy: Gene Ray and his Time Cube.

Sample:

"We (Mom, Dad & Me), Gene Ray Possess Harmonic Cubic Wisdom that transcends and contradicts the Bibical 1st Day - Genesis 1.5 - when the greatest math & scientific scam of all human existence was deified. Claim of single 1st Day composed of Day, Night, Morning & Evening was a Lie, as they were Static points as 4 corners and did not rotate as Time motion. Instead each of the 4 quadrant Times represented a single and separate 24 hour Day rotation within a common 24 hour rotation of Earth. You would be wiser if unschooled then be taught ONEness stupidity to worship Evil of ONEism, contradicted by Opposite Creation."

Challenger: David Icke.

Sample:

From Wikipedia: "In 1999, Icke wrote and published The Biggest Secret: The Book that Will Change the World, in which he identified the extraterrestrial prison warders as reptilians from the constellation Draco. They walk erect and appear to be human, living not only on the planets they come from, but also in caverns and tunnels under the earth. They have cross-bred with humans, which has created "hybrids" who are "possessed" by the full-blooded reptilians. The reptiles' hybrid reptilian-human DNA allows them to change from reptilian to human form if they consume human blood. Icke has drawn parallels with the 1980s science-fiction series V, in which the earth is taken over by reptiloid aliens disguised as humans.

According to Icke, the reptilian group includes many prominent people and practically every world leader from Britain's late Queen Mother to George H.W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, Harold Wilson, and Tony Blair. These people are either themselves reptilian, or work for the reptiles as what Icke calls slave-like victims of multiple personality disorder: "The Rothschilds, Rockefellers, the British royal family, and the ruling political and economic families of the U.S. and the rest of the world come from these SAME bloodlines. It is not because of snobbery, it is to hold as best they can a genetic structure — the reptilian-mammalian DNA combination which allows them to 'shape-shift'."

Winner: I like this match-up because of the different styles. Gene Ray is entirely incoherent, and if you read his writings aloud very quickly you sound almost exactly like a paranoid schizophrenic. Icke, at one time a successful sports broadcaster, combines the absurd (a hierarchical conspiracy organized by alien reptilians controls the world) with the merely implausible (global warming is a hoax, 9/11 was an inside job, etc). In the end, though, a Crazies Face-Off has to go with the crazy. Reading Icke's headlines ("Patton Assassinated to Silence His Criticism of Allies", "An Examination of Obama’s Hidden Use Of Hypnotic Techniques In His Speeches") is illuminating, but count this one for the Time Cube.