Thursday, September 12, 2019

Week 333-3333 Sponsored by the Vance Law Firm "Dial '3' for Me!"

These picks might as well be sand, waves, sunbathers, and floating garbage... because they're "shore" things!

Georgia -33  Speaking of dawgs, Dana got a hair cut. It is jarring how small she is and distressing to think back to all the times she's kicked my a*s.

Kansas St. +8.5  I am going to "stan" this game because it is "big mood."

Alabama -25.5  It's time for the big boys to flex their muscles. Story time! When Alabama lost at South Carolina in 2010, I was at a wedding in Kentucky (at "My Old Kentucky Home" State Park to be exact) and we were watching updates on our phones. Can you believe that? Then later Auburn played - get this - Kentucky! We were able to watch the end of the game on tv and there were some Kentucky fans who were super confused as to why Auburn was slowly moving the ball down the field at the end of the game rather than trying to score very quickly and leave time on the clock. Later, I threw a beer can at some gravestone and said "take this, you dead a**hole!" The moral of this story is that it is a crazy time to be alive what with the smart phones and all.

Arkansas -10  Big time revenge game here.

Kent St. +35  Auburn isn't going to score 35 points.

Kentucky +8.5  Charles have I ever told you the story about the time I was at a wedding in Kentucky?



$$$

Time to grind. I'm not proud of this; I don't enjoy this. But a man has to make a living. A father has to provide for his family. And dammit, a player has absolutely got to play.
Nice Bookie, give me $930.31 on Alabama at -3500. I stand to win $26.58.

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