Son, it's time we talked about Tool. Your mother and I have agreed that you're old enough and it's not fair to keep this from you any longer. We didn't want you hearing this from some of the older kids at school so we figured it was best to tell you here. Just remember that we love you and if you have any questions, just ask.
Okay, well, let's see. You have to realize that this isn't the easiest thing for me either, son. I know, I know, we'll be done in time for Malcolm in the Middle. Alright, where do we start. Um, maybe you can tell me what you already know... Nothing, huh. That's for the best, I suppose.
*sigh* Here goes, Tool released their first EP, "Opiate" in 92? 93, maybe. I probably should have done some research. Anyway, it was an aggressive little gem filled with thrashy riffs, overt themes, and sometimes downright salty lyrics. This is "Hush" from the youtube, pay attention now, son.
I guess I could have warned you about the imminent manparts, but it's nothing you haven't seen around the locker room. What, you don't have a locker room in Kindergarten? Where do you shower? Hmm. Well whatever.
Where were we? Oh, right. Tool released their first real album, "Undertow" fairly soon after. The songs were a little longer, the meanings more veiled, and the artwork more obscure. Again, I've just discovered this youtube thing and it's a lot easier than actually talking to you.
Okay, this is taking forever. I don't even think you're paying attention. Fine, go watch your programs. We can talk about this some other time. I love you, too.
Daddy, where does alternative metal come from?
ReplyDeleteAlso too: easily my favorite Tool music video.