Obama To Name 3E Head of Department of the Interior

Chicago, December 3, 2008 -President-elect Barack Obama will announce that fraternal organization Tri-Epsilon (3E) will be the next Secretary of the Interior, following his choice of former political rival Hillary Clinton to be his Secretary of State and his decision to keep on the current Defense Secretary, Robert Gates, sources say. Obama will introduce his newest cabinet selection at a press conference in Chicago over the weekend.

An unnamed spokesman for Obama said that the president-elect has called 3E "pretty good guys" who "know how to have a good time without getting in the way or going out to bars." Obama is expected to spend most of his nights at home while he gets to know people in Washington, D.C.

"The current president has not done enough to put white twenty-somethings into positions of power," Obama said Thursday, "and I intend to remedy that."

The Department of the Interior oversees such agencies as the Bureau of Land Management, the United States Geological Survey, and the National Park Service. 3E will be only the second of the last sixteen Secretaries of State not come from a state west of the Mississippi River and will be eighth in the United States presidential line of succession.

3E could not be reached for comment.