You can't spell EPIC FAIL without the EPL: Manchester City

Location: Manchester. It's really pretty clear.

Nickname: The Blues, City, the Citizens, the Billionaires.

Stately, Non-Commercial Stadium Name: STATELY FAIL. City of Manchester Stadium.

Crest: Wouldn't seem out of place on the wall at a Captain D's... in Nazi Germany.

Season So Far: They score a lot of goals, you've got to give them that. When they were bought by staggeringly rich Arabs at the beginning of the season, their sights were probably a little higher than tenth place. Not going to be relegated, but it's definitely going to take another year before all that oil money turns into a top four finish.

General vibe to a casual American fan: LOLZ. Arabian fat-cats throwing ludicrous amounts of money toward every big name in the sport and almost without fail being rebuffed heartily. Before this year, they were just the little brother in Manchester, now they're a punchline to soccer fans everywhere.